Tom Sietsema's Online Chat

[Tweaked]

Licking fingers - I've sat in some of the best dining rooms DC has to offer, finished a dish, and then proceeded to run my finger right down the middle of the plate and lick the sauce clean. And waiters have walked passed me and given me a knowing nod, yeah the sauce is that good. They get it.

[Ericandblueboy]

Who knew that Wapo readers are a bunch of fuddy duddies that can't stand some cursing in the kitchen?

https://live.washingtonpost.com/ask-tom-030916.html?hpid=hp_hp-more-top-stories_no-name%3Ahomepage%2Fstory

And what about booking a table for 2 but showing up single as Tom suggested?  I think there's a thread somewhere about this.

[Pat]

Who knew that Wapo readers are a bunch of fuddy duddies that can't stand some cursing in the kitchen?

https://live.washingtonpost.com/ask-tom-030916.html?hpid=hp_hp-more-top-stories_no-name%3Ahomepage%2Fstory

And what about booking a table for 2 but showing up single as Tom suggested?  I think there's a thread somewhere about this.

I've never done it, but I think in the situation of booking for one when OT doesn't show the option, I would add in the comments section that I am trying to book for one but the closest option is booking for two.  That way they can contact you about it or at least have notice ahead of time (presuming they read the comments).

[Bart]

Who knew that Wapo readers are a bunch of fuddy duddies that can't stand some cursing in the kitchen?

Well, the kitchen is in the middle of the dining area so that's a little different than a chef yelling at someone way in the back behind closed doors.

I'm no prude, but if I'm paying major coin for a nice meal, I certainly don't want to see someone getting berated and/or fired right in front of me.  I imagine it's a bit of a mood killer.

[Josh]

Well, the kitchen is in the middle of the dining area so that's a little different than a chef yelling at someone way in the back behind closed doors.

I'm no prude, but if I'm paying major coin for a nice meal, I certainly don't want to see someone getting berated and/or fired right in front of me.  I imagine it's a bit of a mood killer.

Having been in just that situation at a $$$ place in Las Vegas (and a *valid* complaint from a member of our party being the inciting event), I can say it is definitely a mood killer.  We were mortified.

[dz50]

And what about booking a table for 2 but showing up single as Tom suggested?  I think there's a thread somewhere about this.

First, I think all restaurants should have reservations for one available to be accessible to all types of diners.  That said, since some restaurants allow res for 1 on open table and others don't, the ones that don't clearly made that choice not to have that option.  Thus, I can imagine them being pretty annoyed if you make a res for two and just show up as one.

The best thing to do might be just to call.  Either they'll give you reservation that way, or they'll tell you they don't do res for one but that the bar is open seating.

[Bart]

Tom gave the forum a shout out early in Tom's chat this week when someone asked about Todd Kliman leaving the Washingtonian.  The question was, "is there a future for being a food critic in DC?".  Tom mentioned a bunch of critics and publications and then ended with this:

And let's not forget the online food community created by Don Rockwell, donrockwell.com, that gives voice to thousands of opinionated eaters in the region and beyond.

That's the first time I ever recall him mentioning this place.

[weezy]

I think it's fair if there are regular complaints about noisiness of restaurants, because the industry folks read the chats, too, and may reconsider having so many hard/slick surfaces to get the noise levels down to a happy buzz instead of a murderous din.  

[Pool Boy]

I have 3 bulging discs. I have a stent in my heart. I'm 46. There's no doubt I've had physical setbacks. But those are my problems. I just don't think every restaurant needs to cater to me. If I don't like some place, I simply don't go back. In the mean time, I do my daily exercises.

I agree with you that every restaurant does not need to cater to me. However, I do not need to patronize restaurants with lousy seating, be it backless bar stools, bench seating or what have you. There are plenty of places for me to try that have acceptable seating.

[DonRocks]

I think it's fair if there are regular complaints about noisiness of restaurants, because the industry folks read the chats, too, and may reconsider having so many hard/slick surfaces to get the noise levels down to a happy buzz instead of a murderous din.  

I was thinking about this the other night as I positively *choked* down a glass of 75-degree red wine: Hot red wine may be an even bigger problem than noisy restaurants.

[Ericandblueboy]

TS via Facebook - "The NY owner of Sushi Nakazawa, set to open in the Trump International hotel in DC next year, just bashed the scene I've covered for 20 years.

"It's a steakhouse town," says Alessandro Borgognone, displaying gross ignorance of one of the country's most exciting food scenes -- and ignoring the comparatively safe, even dull, situation in contemporary Manhattan.

Someone ought to tell him before he sets up shop that Washington diners are among the most knowledgable and discerning anywhere in the country. (The lines outside Momofuku in DC? Gone.)"

Is he just pandering to his "friends"?

[reedm]

I like Jose Andres' approach. 

 

[Ericandblueboy]

Quote

Q: Freebies
Tom, last chat you said that because you're a critic, you never take freebies, but the context -- IIRC, another chatter was offered a free drink or something and it made him or her feel uncomfortable -- made me wonder: since going incognito is pretty important for a critic, how do you decline without letting everyone know the reason you can't accept? Maybe it doesn't happen all that often, but you often talk about making complaints in the moment. Often, a (legitimate) complaint will result in getting something comped. Is it just the "thanks for being a valued regular" free stuff you can't accept, or do you have an excuse handy for declining freebies offered as an apology?

 

A: Tom Sietsema

As an unknown diner, I have no problem getting a gratis drink or snack if other diners are getting them as well or it appears the staff is just being hospitable.  (Still, I always ask the server to put such on my tab if I suspect they know who I am.) What I was originally referencing were those moments when I get spotted as a critic and the chef sends something over. Then, I insist that "something" be put on my bill.

 

I'm not sure how putting it on his bill makes him more objective.  At the end of the day, he doesn't pay for anything, his employer does.  

[DonRocks]

30 minutes ago, Ericandblueboy said:

I'm not sure how putting it on his bill makes him more objective.  At the end of the day, he doesn't pay for anything, his employer does.  

This is 100% correct. There's "paying for your meal," and there's "PAYING FOR YOUR MEAL." 

And then there's "not being paid to write reviews, and doing it solely because you wish to help others live better lives." These are not mutually exclusive, but they're certainly different: In the past 12 years, the difference in cash inflows between me and Tom are probably something close to $2 million. And I wouldn't have it any other way because I love what I do enough to do it for free; if only I wasn't injured, I could *really* help others (and I don't mean just in terms of "finding a good meal"), but you have to play with the hand you're dealt, and sometimes, you're not in a position to trade in your cards for a better hand.

There's a very good reason I list all the prices in my restaurant reviews. Because that money is coming directly out of my own pocket, just like it will be coming directly out of every other diner's pocket.

[Pat]

29 minutes ago, Ericandblueboy said:

I'm not sure how putting it on his bill makes him more objective.  At the end of the day, he doesn't pay for anything, his employer does.  

I'm not so sure it's for purposes of objectivity per se but to avoid the appearance of some kind of favoritism in his assessment of the restaurant.  It's more like he's declining a bribe, though he is the one making the determination that it's something designed to sway him in his role as a critic rather than something more innocent.  

[Ericandblueboy]

1 hour ago, Pat said:

I'm not so sure it's for purposes of objectivity per se but to avoid the appearance of some kind of favoritism in his assessment of the restaurant.  It's more like he's declining a bribe, though he is the one making the determination that it's something designed to sway him in his role as a critic rather than something more innocent.  

But he's not declining the bribes.  He's eating them and judging the restaurant on them.  He just makes Wapo pay for the food he eats.

[Ericandblueboy]

Grapegate.

i liked the snowflakes comment.  Srsly, do people really expect restaurants to cater to every whim?  Yes grapes are choking hazards, but they didn't say to bring your 2 year old and force feed them grapes.

[dracisk]

There have been so many times that I've swiped away something from in front of my 2-year-old in a restaurant. A lot of times the item isn't even dangerous, but I don't want her to get syrup or ketchup all over herself, for example. That's the parent's responsibility. Swipe the grapes, cut them up, put them back.

And Tom likes the plan of the 10-person birthday dinner at Red Hen? Are they way less busy these days? I guess maybe if you try early enough you could get a reservation for 10, but that place is pretty small.

[DCA]

Re: Grapes
I'm not advocating for anyone, but to be fair to the original post from the parent -- the fruit cup with grapes was on the children's menu. That doesn't absolve a parent from being vigilant, but it does somewhat explain the writer's expectations.

[dracisk]

Yes, but you're only supposed to cut up grapes for very young children, not all children who could be ordering from the children's menu. I didn't even know that grapes were a choking hazard for young children until I had a kid, so I'm not sure I'd expect restaurant staff to know for whom they need to cut grapes and for whom they don't ... and to know how to cut them (length wise).

[Ericandblueboy]

 

Quote

Q: Thought we were ordering brunch special, charged a la carte

This past weekend my girlfriend and I had brunch a Dupont area restaurant that offers a special we enjoy pretty frequently. The special has a set price for “bottomless drinks,” an appetizer, and an entree. We ordered drinks, an appetizer each, and an entree each. But perhaps significantly I don’t think either of us specifically indicated to our server that we were doing the special. When we got the check, I just put my card down without looking. When I got my card back I noticed that we had been charged a la carte for everything we ordered. The difference amounted to about $30 more pre-tip/tax. I didn’t say anything because I was unsure whether the restaurant was in the right to do that or not, given the fact that we never specifically said we wanted the special. Should I have said something?

 

 

 

 

A: Tom Sietsema

If I'm getting the story right, you ordered dishes available as part of the brunch special (not anything extra or off-menu). In that case, the server should have  charged you the special price, not a la cart.

I often disagree with Tom.  I would think if you wanted the "special," you should say you want the special, otherwise you get charged a la carte.  If I wanted bottomless drinks, I'd say that up front, instead of sucking down 10 proseccos and then say, oh, btw, I wanted the bottomless drink specials.  I'm not even sure a restaurant would or should honor a request after the fact.

Quote

Q: Restaurant Food Quantities

My partner and I ate at a well-respected DC establishment known for its service and food this weekend. Our server recommended that we order three small plates per person. We wound up with 5 small plates (plus two “amuse-bouches”) which was far too much food. We don’t have small appetites, but we felt like the restaurant’s recommendation was completely off and we could have easily been satisfied with three small plates and one dessert. Is it common that restaurants over-sell the amount of food people should order?

Don't these people know that it's industry standard to suggests 3-4 small plates per person?  Why do some people always suspect they're being ripped off. 

Quote

Q: Seat Yourself Seating Etiquette

Hi Tom, this past weekend we went to Purple Patch and were waiting for a table downstairs, where it's seat yourself. We were the only pair waiting for ten minutes or so when another pair entered and stood near us by the door to wait. Very soon after, a two-top table toward the back began to gather their things to leave, and the pair that came in behind us hustled to the table and hovered over it until the couple left, then immediately sat down. My dining partner and I found seats at the bar a maybe five minutes later, feeling annoyed by the pair that grabbed the table. What's your opinion on this? Is it every man or woman for themselves in a seat-yourself situation, or should there be assumed respect for those who have been waiting before you? Despite this small incident, we enjoyed our meal very much but couldn't help but wonder what to do in that situation.

I would've gone off on the other pair, but what is the proper etiquette?

Quote

Q: Reservations and Asking for a Credit Card

And sometimes it evolves into a lawsuit. Girlfriend and I dined at one of the restaurants on your top 10 list. They asked for a credit card at time of reservation. I gave. We showed up for dinner and with drinks, wine, appetizers, main course and dessert and lets not forget dropped $500. Great until I get my Amex Black Card statement and see two charges from same restaurant. Our dinner and then another charge. I call and its because we 'No Showed". I asked them to double check and emailed a copy of the bill. Disputed with Amex. Amex refused to remove charge since this restaurant insists we didnt show despite the $500 charge on my Amex for dinner. I am the senior partner for one of the DC areas largest litigation firm which is also one of the best. Despite at least 20 attempts to resolve we go to court in April. I have countersued. This will not be settled. I fully expect to receive low 7 figures in my countersuit and I will drive this restaurant, its partners, and investors all into Chap 7.

 

Do people like to punk Tom because he's gullible?

 

 

[DanielK]

He did give a shout out to Drift on 7th, so it wasn't completely a waste this week.

[DonRocks]

Guess this "AmEx Black Card" customer isn't as important as he thinks he is.

LOW SEVEN FIGURES?! God save us.

[Deac]

I posted this in the comments of the chat...

I thought the AMEX Black story sounded similar to something I'd read before in this chat, and so I Googled and found this from the Aug 24, 2011 chat: 
 
I was hosting a dinner for eight three weeks ago. I called and made reservations at one of Dc' top restaurants. they wanted me to quarantee the reservation with a credit card. I gave them my Black Amex. So fast forward dinner goes off great. Bill with tip i rounded off to a nice $5K even. Every one is happy. Billion dollar business deal closed. I check my Amex statement and notice two charges from this restaurant. One for the $5k and another I alter find out is their cancellation fee. I call ask to speak to manager anfd figure simple mistake and I should be able to get this corrected in a few minutes. But no. Manager gives me a bunch of grief and insists we never showed up. I say how could I have not shown up and dropped $5K in your establishment. More discussion. No resolution. I call Amex and because of how I was treated I dispute both charges. Amex settles the dispute in my favor and refuses to pay either charge. I do enough business with Amex that they couldnt afford to lose me. I may call the restaurant and have them resubmit the $5K tab some day if they apologize for their rudeness and mistake. So far they havent. Their loss. 
 
https://live.washingtonpost.com/ask-tom-8-24-2011.... 
 
Either they need a new schtick or we have multiple big swinging dicks in DC who are having AMEX Black issues...

[Ericandblueboy]

Quote

Q: Judgement by waitress

Hi Tom! Curious how you would handle this. My husband and I were out for our anniversary and we had wanted to indulge/enjoy a great meal. We couldn't decide between three pasta dishes (two were appetizer size, one entree). We've been to this restaurant a bunch and it's not an Italian restaurant but the pastas are homemade and always amazing. We had asked the waitress for input, she said all three were great. Having been before and knowing the portions are not large, we decided to just order all three as appetizers figuring we could try them and take home what we did not finish. We were instantly fat-shamed when we told her our order! She kept saying wow and how that's so much food and she can't believe it (mind you we haven't ordered entrees and told her we were going to wait and see after we eat these). She then later made a point of telling us that the kitchen couldn't believe that we ordered all three pastas so I made a joke that we're carb loading because we're running a marathon tomorrow and she believed me and I just left it at that because I was so sick of being judged and the comments! My husband and I are both really fit people, work out a lot, cook a lot, and when we go out we like to enjoy and it was a special occasion. We ended up just splitting halibut after that which was pretty light but then I felt funny wanting to order a dessert at a celebratory occasion out of fear of what the waitress would say. We still did, and I'm sure she had plenty to say with the rest of the staff, I just wish she wasn't so vocal to us about it throughout the night, it was really off putting. Just curious how you would handle the situation and deal with judgement while dining out. Being a critic, I'm sure there are plenty of situations where you have to over order to sample the menu. I thought a waitress would be glad we're ordering so much and increasing the bill!

I'm genuinely perplexed.  How can you be fat shamed if you're not fat?  We knowingly over order food all the time, and sometimes the server will remind us that's a lot of food, possibly to help reduce our bill.  Are these people snowflakes or is this just another instance where I'm particularly insensitive?

Quote

Q: Shame

When I was 12 years old, eating out with my family in a Chinese restaurant in Westport, CT, the waiter handed me the bill and said "Since you eat so much, you pay!" I started to cry, and 50 some years later, have never forgotten it.

Maybe it's because I'm Chinese but that's funny to me.  I wonder if I've traumatized people for life.

[astrid]

It's possible that the waitron was really over the top, but I suspect it's snowflakes customers (it can happen in any age bracket) over interpreting an innocent effort to warn them that a lot of food is coming.

We regularly order 2-3x more food than we look like we can eat, and never gotten more grief than a friendly warning that a lot of food is coming.  Okay, and being congratulated when we clean off our many plates at the end of the meal, I guess some people may find those comments offensive.

[astrid]

Sietsma and his devotees are so over the top clueless and smugly self congratulatory that I read his chats purely for entertainment value.

[Escoffier]

I gave up on SIetsema when he spent an entire review of some Korean restaurant and his biggest complaint was that the server didn't explain how he should have eaten one of the dishes.  Korean tables always have spoons and chopsticks (forks if you're really terrible with chopsticks) and at the end of almost every hand, there are fingers.  Seems to me he could have found some simple, satisfying method to transfer the food from the bowl/dish/barbecue to his ingestion port.  While some Korean servers in restaurants with a large number of me-guks can speak passable English, most don't  He probably would not have received instruction he could understand anyway.  I did suggest that maybe the next time he wanted to go to a Korean restaurant, perhaps he might want to take someone who was familiar with both Korean customs and food.

[Pat]

14 hours ago, Ericandblueboy said:

I'm genuinely perplexed.  How can you be fat shamed if you're not fat?  We knowingly over order food all the time, and sometimes the server will remind us that's a lot of food, possibly to help reduce our bill.  Are these people snowflakes or is this just another instance where I'm particularly insensitive?

Maybe it's because I'm Chinese but that's funny to me.  I wonder if I've traumatized people for life.

With that second example, I thought it was just the waiter trying to be funny. I'd think a 12-year-old would be able to process that accurately. Especially if it's a boy, 12-year olds can plow through a lot of food, and, of course, Mom and/or Dad is going to pay for the meal.  It seemed like something else might have been going on here.  

With the initial instance, I thought that some of it was that the server didn't just comment once but made repeated comments and said things to people in the back and relayed their responses back to the customers.  Just one comment might not have bothered the customers as much.  Most servers know not to make a fuss like that, and if they make a comment on the amount of food ordered, it is either a warning that a lot will be coming or an offhand kind of comment to the effect that that's a lot of food, a joking kind of thing. But it sounded like the server in that instance just didn't let it go. (That's how I read the comment anyway.)

[astrid]

Yeah, being Chinese myself, I can interpret the waiter as a friendly praise, kids generally pick at food and get bored long before the end of the meal, so the waiter is probably saying good on him that he ate a lot, like the man of the house.  But humor and complements sometimes don't translate well across cultures.  

And yes, that recent incident probably have an inexperienced waiter who didn't get a clue and stop the first time and inexperienced diners who didn't know how to shut down in unwelcomed conversation.  Though, a ton more people complain about being surprised by portion size on Sietsma's chats, so the waiter was probably trying to error on the side of caution.  I wonder if the waiter followed up repeatedly precisely because the customers were thin and fitted the profile of people who typically complain about waitrons misleading them regarding portions.  

In any case, weird to characterize this as fat shaming if they were actually so confident in their fitness.  Maybe they should get a social interaction business card printed out with all their possible triggers listed ( with blank slots added so they can pencil more in as they discover new triggers), so they can hand it to all the retail clerks and waitrons that they might accidentally have uncomfortable conversations with.  (Yes, I know I am being mean now by American standards, but I bet most Chinese people would find my suggestion funny).

[Ericandblueboy]

3 hours ago, astrid said:

In any case, weird to characterize this as fat shaming if they were actually so confident in their fitness.  Maybe they should get a social interaction business card printed out with all their possible triggers listed ( with blank slots added so they can pencil more in as they discover new triggers), so they can hand it to all the retail clerks and waitrons that they might accidentally have uncomfortable conversations with.  (Yes, I know I am being mean now by American standards, but I bet most Chinese people would find my suggestion funny).

I do find it funny - must be cultural.

[u-bet!]

On 3/18/2016 at 2:15 PM, Bart said:

Tom gave the forum a shout out early in Tom's chat this week when someone asked about Todd Kliman leaving the Washingtonian.  The question was, "is there a future for being a food critic in DC?".  Tom mentioned a bunch of critics and publications and then ended with this:

And let's not forget the online food community created by Don Rockwell, donrockwell.com, that gives voice to thousands of opinionated eaters in the region and beyond.

That's the first time I ever recall him mentioning this place.

...and another DR.com shout out from the DC Urban Mom Sietsema thread referenced in today's chat, for whatever that's worth...  

[DonRocks]

7 hours ago, u-bet! said:

...and another DR.com shout out from the DC Urban Mom Sietsema thread referenced in today's chat, for whatever that's worth...  

Thanks, u-bet! But you know what? This one, lone comment mixed in with a few dozen others makes me sadder than it does happy. I've already accepted that nobody will know about this website until after I'm gone, because I'm not willing to compromise what I do, but this really drives it home. Meh, such is life - I've had other chapters.

[Mark Slater]

Funny that Tom just posted on DC Urban Moms. No replies as yet.

[lion]

Wow, Tom was getting hammered in that thread but he handled the anonymus comments well. 

[DonRocks]

51 minutes ago, lion said:

Wow, Tom was getting hammered in that thread but he handled the anonymus comments well. 

One big mistake Tom Sietsema has made over the years has been sequestering himself in his little corner. It's a legitimate strategy (and don't kid yourselves: It's a strategy), but one that doesn't work anymore - certainly not this "weekly chat" stuff which is an artifact from the 1980s - it doesn't hurt that his publication has so much readership: Can you imagine such a thing if he didn't work for the Post? (Your answer lies with Todd Kliman.)

[Ericandblueboy]

13 hours ago, Mark Slater said:

Funny that Tom just posted on DC Urban Moms. No replies as yet.

Why does he post there and not here?  I guess DC Urban Moms are more important?

[lion]

28 minutes ago, Ericandblueboy said:

Why does he post there and not here?  I guess DC Urban Moms are more important?

Clearly you are not aware of the real power brokers in DC. 

Watch out for the Beltway Bambinos, too! 

[Simul Parikh]

Wow. Never heard of DC Urban Moms... They are a fierce bunch. I'd be scared... 

[Tom Sietsema]

Regarding Don's post above, my chat isn't a "strategy," but a way to address readers' questions and comments in real time and in a more personal venue than print. I learn as much as I (hopefully) give in that hour every week. Just for the record, my "little corner" (as Don puts it) is the second best-read chat on the WP site (after Carolyn Hax) and enjoys a national, even international, audience. If it wasn't effective, I would have dropped it by now. But the regular give and take is one of the most important things I do.

I'm posting for the first time in years (?) because I get tired of being misrepresented. It's fine to disagree with my reviews or stories, but please, don't pretend to read my mind.

I think of this forum as a helpful Washington resource and have said as much over the years; indeed, I gave the site a shout out in my best American food cities series a couple years back. DR is one of the things that makes Washington a better food scene.

Just my two cents.

[DonRocks]

4 hours ago, Tom Sietsema said:

Regarding Don's post above, my chat isn't a "strategy," but a way to address readers' questions and comments in real time and in a more personal venue than print. I learn as much as I (hopefully) give in that hour every week. Just for the record, my "little corner" (as Don puts it) is the second best-read chat on the WP site (after Carolyn Hax) and enjoys a national, even international, audience. If it wasn't effective, I would have dropped it by now. But the regular give and take is one of the most important things I do.

I'm posting for the first time in years (?) because I get tired of being misrepresented. It's fine to disagree with my reviews or stories, but please, don't pretend to read my mind.

I think of this forum as a helpful Washington resource and have said as much over the years; indeed, I gave the site a shout out in my best American food cities series a couple years back. DR is one of the things that makes Washington a better food scene.

Just my two cents.

Since you went public with it ...

Of course it's a "strategy," and what's wrong with that?

The "little corner" you mention wasn't referring to your chat; the pronoun "it" referred to the noun that came directly before it, namely the "little corner" (a lame choice of words) that is the Post's purlieu: You, yourself, have mentioned for years that you don't venture out from your own "platforms" (your word), and that has been your strategy - what am I missing here?

A few things you may not realize:

* I have so much work to do here that I have to force myself to write reviews, giving up other things that need to be done. Yes, I still dine out an insane amount (in 2017, I went to Beard nominees in over a dozen states), but I can't stand to write poorly, so I'm reluctant to toss off hastily written reviews. 

* Regarding being busy and writing poorly, I probably spend an average of less than a minute on each post I write, because my grammar is good, my mind is quick, and being a classical pianist, I type like a bat out of hell - in this case, I said "little corner" when I should have said "Post's platforms" - then, I moved on, and didn't give it another thought. It sounds snippy, and I wish I hadn't written it, but at this point, it would be like unringing a bell.

* I have reason to believe you think I belittle you - that is not my intention, as I respect you as much as I respect anyone else (did I not write you when you won the Beard Award and say it was "richly deserved?") If I write something that sounds like a roundabout criticism, it's because I try not to mention names - not because I'm being shifty, but because I often write about DC restaurant criticism *as a whole*, and I have absolutely no desire for negative comments to show up about people on Google (didn't think about that one, did you). People forget about posts in a few days, but since things here are indexed (another thing which I don't have time to do as well as I'd like), derisive remarks can haunt people or restaurants on Google for years - I take that responsibility very, very seriously.

* Regarding DC restaurant criticism, let's call a spade, a spade, Tom: You're the Washington Post Restaurant Critic, ergo, the 800-pound gorilla, whether you like it or not. More importantly, you have absolutely *no* checks and balances - I cannot tell you how many times I've sat on my hands, trying to keep them from reaching the keyboard. If critics can criticize, they *must be criticized as well*, and nobody - not even me - is criticizing you right now, save for a few anonymous cowards who aren't using their real names: There's something very wrong with that. And whether you know it or not, the reasons I lay off you are because 1) we generally agree, and 2) I have no wish to bring you harm. Having said that, based on The Post's enormous readership and influence, I really think you need to be held in check, and now I'm wondering whether I should simply be more direct - it has nothing to do with you as a person; it has to do with the words that you publish, that occasionally - *occasionally* - seem so out of touch with reality (I began to list things, but I'll refrain) that they need to have a spotlight shined on them: To quote one of our important news publications: Democracy Dies in Darkness.

I believe this is the first time you've posted on this website. When I saw your post about R Family Kitchen & Bar, I *knew* you'd be posting here, too. You know what that is? It's a strategy - and there's nothing wrong with having a strategy. Our regular posters will tell you that I go out of my way to treat them like friends and family - I wish that could be you, too, but I suspect this is a one-and-done type situation, and that's a loss for us all.

You may now retreat to your corner platform.  Or, you're more than welcome to stick around as long as you like: You're *always* free to criticize anything I write, without any resistance from me, though I may clarify why I wrote a particular thing - people here disagree with me all the time (have you seen the grief I've taken over Bob Dylan?). If I'm going to criticize, my words should be held under a spotlight, just like anyone else's.

Best regards,
Don

PS - I'm happy to move all of these posts to the "Criticizing the Critics" or "Writing Fair Critiques"  thread. Still, given your level of readership, you're mentioned here several times per week, and there isn't much I can do about it.

[Tom Sietsema]

Not sure what the comment about "being busy and writing poorly" is referring to (me?), but allow me to address a few things.

1) Yes, the Washington Post is a huge platform. It's one of the most important publications in the world. I feel grateful every day that I get to write about a subject I care deeply about. I also feel a real responsibility to fairly and accurately cover the restaurant scene. To that end, I eat out about a dozen meals a week. I'm fortunate that my employer picks up the tab, but I never take that for granted. (Then again, the Post also pays White House reporters to fly first-class on Air Force One and sports writers to go to the Olympics. And on. It's part of our jobs.)

2) What sort of "checks and balances" are you suggesting? I have plenty of those already: editors, copy editors, online critics (including readers who can post comments following my reviews).  

3) Do I ever get things wrong? Of course. Have I ever made mistakes? For sure. But week in and week out -- decade in and decade out (scary thought for some of you, I know!) -- I hope there's some consistency and even (pleasant) surprise  to my work. Most people have very little idea what goes into this job. A lot of people think they can do it (reviewing in general) better. To them I say: have at it and see how easy it is.  I know I strive to be fair: I've given raves to people I know detest me and pans to people who don't.

4)  I have pretty tough skin. I can handle criticism -- and I've learned from it over the years. I don't shy away from negative feedback and in fact let people rant about me on my own food forum. It goes with the territory.  But I didn't go into this to win friends or curry favor with anyone. That's a losing proposition in criticism.

That's it for the moment.

[DonRocks]

8 minutes ago, Tom Sietsema said:

Not sure what the comment about "being busy and writing poorly" is referring to (me?)

Me! (See the bullet point above.)

[DaveO]

1 hour ago, Tom Sietsema said:

Not sure what the comment about "being busy and writing poorly" is referring to (me?), but allow me to address a few things.

1) Yes, the Washington Post is a huge platform. It's one of the most important publications in the world. I feel grateful every day that I get to write about a subject I care deeply about. I also feel a real responsibility to fairly and accurately cover the restaurant scene. To that end, I eat out about a dozen meals a week. I'm fortunate that my employer picks up the tab, but I never take that for granted. (Then again, the Post also pays White House reporters to fly first-class on Air Force One and sports writers to go to the Olympics. And on. It's part of our jobs.)

2) What sort of "checks and balances" are you suggesting? I have plenty of those already: editors, copy editors, online critics (including readers who can post comments following my reviews).  

3) Do I ever get things wrong? Of course. Have I ever made mistakes? For sure. But week in and week out -- decade in and decade out (scary thought for some of you, I know!) -- I hope there's some consistency and even (pleasant) surprise  to my work. Most people have very little idea what goes into this job. A lot of people think they can do it (reviewing in general) better. To them I say: have at it and see how easy it is.  I know I strive to be fair: I've given raves to people I know detest me and pans to people who don't.

4)  I have pretty tough skin. I can handle criticism -- and I've learned from it over the years. I don't shy away from negative feedback and in fact let people rant about me on my own food forum. It goes with the territory.  But I didn't go into this to win friends or curry favor with anyone. That's a losing proposition in criticism.

That's it for the moment.

I'm one person who enjoys reading major media restaurant reviews, including your own, others in this city and from other regions.  I value them.  I tend not to get into discussions about the critic's lists or perspectives.  Maybe part of the silent majority or minority with the emphasis on silent.  I'm very aware paid media critics working for major media sites get to infinitely more restaurants than do I.  They experience more.  Also, I've been to far too many dinners with far too many different folks where the reactions to a dish are night and day.  Such is taste or other elements of a reaction.  Diversity of opinion makes the world go round. 

As to the "chat"'s.  Damn.  I don't access either of the two mentioned above or any others.  Interesting they are so popular.  I'll have to get to them.

[dcs]

It's not whether you like or dislike the food, which can be subjective by nature, but how you write it up.  I used to pride myself on my ability to read a Rolling Stone magazine album review panning a record and realizing by the reviewer's description of the music that I would enjoy it.  Now that was a critic who was really doing his/her job well.

[Simul Parikh]

You don't have to agree with the critic to appreciate the work. And, I like the chats. There is some good stuff in there. 

[Pool Boy]

Often the key to reviews of any sort, including restaurant reviews, is to see how well you align with the given writer or not.  There is usually something to learn in what you read, including restaurant reviews, and I just take it all in. I would suggest that Tom Sietsema is not a critic I agree with that much, and would also suggest it is time for a fresh restaurant critic at The Washington Post - just my opinion.

But at the end of the day, Sietsema is doing what we all are doing here - writing our opinions about our restaurant experiences. My opinions are right for me just as his are right for him and your opinions for you. Take what you want and throw the rest away.

[NolaCaine]

On 2/1/2018 at 11:53 AM, Ericandblueboy said:

Why does he post there and not here?  I guess DC Urban Moms are more important?

Yes, we are. :-)

Not sure if this is relevant content but I really enjoyed this thread. I find commentary on one guys opinions far more interesting than the original source material. This is not a hit against TS but rather a broad complement to the creativity on this thread. 

[Ericandblueboy]

5 hours ago, NolaCaine said:

Yes, we are. :-)

Aren't you a suburban mom?  I don't think you can get all uppity if you live in the suburbs.  ;-)

[zgast]

46 minutes ago, Ericandblueboy said:

Aren't you a suburban mom?  I don't think you can get all uppity if you live in the suburbs.  ;-)

I think this might make the list of Top 10 things never to say to a woman.  We may get to see a new drop kick record from Tyson's.  I set the over/under at the Key Bridge.