Ted's Bulletin, Americana-Themed Family Restaurant From the Owners of Matchbox, Probably Expanding Rapidly

[eatruneat]

MichaelBDC and I had a pretty decent brunch at the Barrack's Row location of Ted's Bulletin yesterday. Admittedly, our bar for brunch is significantly lower than our bar for dinner (especially one in which we literally run to and arrive sweaty and in our running clothes) but we were satisfied customers. We decided on Ted's Bulletin because of it's earlier opening time (we are not running at 11am or noon in the summer for some of the later brunches in the city) and the offering of breakfast burritos. We arrived at 10:45am and the place was already packed. The hostess estimated that the wait for the two of us would be an hour and a half but we lucked out as two seats at the bar quickly opened up. We were quickly given menus and ice water as well as coffee upon request.

I had my eye on the T.U.B.S. (Ted's Ultimate Breakfast Sammie) prior to running over to Ted's Bulletin but once I arrived, I felt that it would be too much food for me and decided on the Veggie Breakfast Burrito (house-made black bean patty, egg whites, with green chile sauce, topped with an avocado, and served with a bowl of strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries). The burrito was pretty good with ample filling. Eggs were cooked well and the green chile sauce had a slight kick but I added a few dashes of Cholula for additional spice. I would have liked some cheese in the burrito (I didn't ask). Additionally, I am not sure about the point of the black bean patty. It got broken into pieces inside the rolled burrito and I would have preferred a big pile of black beans evenly distributed throughout the burrito. The berries on the side were nice and healthy but just a bowl of berries similar to the breakfasts I eat nearly every weekday, sans Greek yogurt. While I enjoyed the dish, the one word I would use to describe it is "inoffensive." It is like the kitchen had a great idea for an entrée but then decided to play it safe and not do anything that might turn off customers. This is in stark contrast to the Walk of Shame Breakfast Burrito which includes steak, scrambled eggs, cheddar, has browns, green chile sauce, and a side of hash browns. That burrito is excessive but at least they want the diner to stuff his/her face. Whereas with the veggie breakfast burrito seemed so uninspired. Don't get me wrong, if I found myself at Ted's Bulletin for brunch again, I could see myself ordering the veggie breakfast burrito again, I would just ask for cheese, add some hot sauce, and order a side of sausage.

MichaelBDC ordered Jon's Omelet (mushrooms, spinach, and swiss cheese with a side of hash browns and bacon). I had a bite of the omelet and thought it was really well made. We both appreciated the thinness of the omelet, which made it easier to eat. The hash browns were okay, but were a bit under seasoned.

Service was really friendly and attentive despite how crowded and busy the restaurant was. MichaelBDC and I had a good time, but are likely to explore other breakfast burrito options before heading back to Ted's Bulletin.

[Tujague]

Today's breakfast sandwich had the sort of greasiness that one might appreciate after a night of heavy drinking; the hash browns erred too far on the side of crisp. . . Let's put it this way: I thought the cat turd in the shower would be the day's most repellent experience, until I tried to enjoy a meal at Ted's Bulletin.

A friend treated me to breakfast here this morning, against my better judgment, and I should have reread my earlier post before ordering that grease-bomb breakfast sammie. Not much has changed in the last 2.5 years"”this place is still serving up some serious nastiness.

[DonRocks]

Why is Ted's Bulletin so horrible? Matchbox wins no prizes (well, actually they won the Rammy), but it isn't *that* bad; Ted's Bulletin is pretty much universally derided by anyone who isn't completely clueless.

[Tujague]

Why is Ted's Bulletin so horrible? Matchbox wins no prizes (well, actually they won the Rammy), but it isn't *that* bad; Ted's Bulletin is pretty much universally derided by anyone who isn't completely clueless.

I shamefully and honestly acknowledge that I patronize my fair share of mediocrities and I can find things on their menus that are satisfying. But those places usually don't try to present themselves as something special or different in the way Ted's does--the classed-up kitsch seems to fool people that what's on the plate isn't as bad as it is. Of course, I am only speaking from my recent breakfast experiences, but my dinner/lunch experiences weren't far better. That's at least part of what makes it so offensive to me.

And I'm still tasting this morning's breakfast; it's making me wish I had drunk myself blotto last night so all that grease would have served some purpose.

[Cuddlyone]

Why is Ted's Bulletin so horrible? Matchbox wins no prizes (well, actually they won the Rammy), but it isn't *that* bad; Ted's Bulletin is pretty much universally derided by anyone who isn't completely clueless.

Well, that's a tad judgmental. Now I'm kind of afraid to say something positive about this place.

[DonRocks]

Well, that's a tad judgmental. Now I'm kind of afraid to say something positive about this place.

Don't be. I've only been twice, and am going more on what others are saying.

(Okay, there's a reason I've only been twice, but I also trust your opinion, so maybe you've found a sweet spot that I haven't.)

[bookluvingbabe]

Dear god, if there is a sweet spot, please tell us! My 8 year old adores the place on Thursday nights for TV dinners.

[bettyjoan]

Maybe I'm just easy to please, or maybe my expectations were low at the start, but I've always enjoyed my breakfasts at Ted's (never been for any other meal).  The food is reliable, they handle special requests well, and they are kid-friendly.  We don't go there often, especially when it's just me and the husband, but it definitely serves a purpose - and I guess I've never really thought of Ted's as presenting itself as something special?

[Cuddlyone]

Maybe I'm just easy to please, or maybe my expectations were low at the start, but I've always enjoyed my breakfasts at Ted's (never been for any other meal).  The food is reliable, they handle special requests well, and they are kid-friendly.  We don't go there often, especially when it's just me and the husband, but it definitely serves a purpose - and I guess I've never really thought of Ted's as presenting itself as something special?

You're exactly right! We've had salads and pancakes and, God forbid, bacon that was perfectly good. I just don't think that makes us "clueless." I guess I'd rate it serviceable.

[Tujague]

Maybe I'm just easy to please, or maybe my expectations were low at the start, but I've always enjoyed my breakfasts at Ted's (never been for any other meal).  The food is reliable, they handle special requests well, and they are kid-friendly.  We don't go there often, especially when it's just me and the husband, but it definitely serves a purpose - and I guess I've never really thought of Ted's as presenting itself as something special?

By "special" I meant that the clothes it wears seems to promise something better than what it actually us, like Perkins playing dress up or something. I can see where it's a kid-friendly place, for sure. But in a market with so few good breakfast options, is this what rises to the top by default? (A surprisingly good breakfast I had recently was at Circa in Foggy Bottom--but they don't open early like Ted's does.)

[DonRocks]

You're exactly right! We've had salads and pancakes and, God forbid, bacon that was perfectly good. I just don't think that makes us "clueless." I guess I'd rate it serviceable.

It doesn't make you clueless; it just means you ate at a diner.

By "special" I meant that the clothes it wears seems to promise something better than what it actually us, like Perkins playing dress up or something. I can see where it's a kid-friendly place, for sure. But in a market with so few good breakfast options, is this what rises to the top by default? (A surprisingly good breakfast I had recently was at Circa in Foggy Bottom--but they don't open early like Ted's does.)

This is what I was originally saying, albeit a bit harshly: Ted's Bulletin is Silver Diner in dress-casual (Silver Diner, despite their "local and sustainable" marketing BS, is just a chain diner, nothing more, nothing less).

Look at Ted's Bulletin's Tuesday-night special:

I acknowledge one thing: My perspective of restaurants has changed since Matt is no longer a child - this may well be a useful restaurant for parents, I don't know. I spent many a meal at Cactus Cantina and Rio Grande, sometimes with Matt's mom and I taking turns eating in peace while the other walked with him out on the sidewalk - I haven't forgotten those days.

[stevem]

Went recently. I messed up and didn't make a big enough deal of my son's nut allergy. When his (non-nut) milkshake arrived, I then asked about the equipment.

The server was extremely nice, didn't give me any stink eye, and brought another shake that has been prepared in their extra-scrubbed shake machine. It was delicious.

The Boy loved his food and my burger was perfectly pleasant.

You can't overstate the importance of service when dining with kids....

[pras]

My experience dining with a child, as recounted above was the opposite.  My meatloaf was ice cold in the center.  By the time they got me a second one which was warm in the center, my daughter was done eating.  The management's response was lukewarm at best.  There are volumes of places that do better than they do.

[ktmoomau]

It's GP food as my husband refers to it (general purpose).  Not special, or fancy, but it's food and fills the general purpose of food.  If I go here I normally get a burger or a rueben and it's fine.  The prices seem to be pretty in line with Metro 29 diner, which is pure unadulterated GP food, I just looked, jeesh I am beginning to think about food prices like my Dad would talk about gas prices ($15 for a rueben, gosh).  I think because they have a marketing team and pr and decorate in a way that makes it seem fancier in some ways, maybe it throws people off, but it's a diner.  The menu is incredible similar to a diner.   I think us foodies would like it to be more because we get taken here by people that like GP food and see the fancy decor and marketing team and think oh good it's not a diner, but it is.   

[sandynva]

i've never eaten the food there, but i have had their adult milkshakes. and the chocolate ice cream +hazelnut is freakin delicious. it's not fancy, but i'd take it over many of the artisinal, handcrafted precious cocktails i regularly pay too much for any day. i think that there's nothing wrong with being simple or a diner, as long as you're delicious, which the adult milkshakes are. And i've personally never thought they were putting on airs or claiming to be anything but simple, good, food, i never thought they viewed themselves as providing "cuisine." 

[squidsdc]

Dined at Ted's for the first time, at brunch in Reston. First thought when we sat down was that it looked and smelled like "Farrell's" for those old fogey's who remember that establishment. (Farrell's was my first "real" job.) I didn't expect fine dining, and the food was fine. And like Farrell's, Ted's serves a similar purpose in dining out with the family. We didn't have to wait at all, and if we had, my view might have been different. Nice place to gather friends/family for a variety of options to eat at brunch.

[Simul Parikh]

The homemade pop tarts are good. 

[ktmoomau]

The homemade pop tarts are good. 

I wanted to like those, but I just don't. I do like the horrible for you processed ones. What flavor do you like?

[ol_ironstomach]

These reports of inconsistency are kind of unexpected to me, because we thought the Gaithersburg location did a surprisingly good job across the board when we went yesterday for dinner.  Gubeen's burger was as rare as she had requested, and the fries were good too.  I opted for the CFS, which was hot and crunchy beneath the gravy, and even the vegetable of the day (a savory roasted dice of sweet potatoes with onions, a bit of garlic, and fresh sage) was a pleasant surprise.  Really, the weakest links were the somewhat flat and overwhipped-into-butter cream layer atop the banana cream pie, and the squeeze-bottle consistency of the mayo we requested to go with the fries.

I'd previously only been to the original location, and then only really for the milkshakes and pop tarts.  The "cleaned up" chain version feels a bit more spartan, yet it's still ahead of a lot of vernacular suburban comfort food options.

It's no fancy fine dining destination, but I dug the retro decor, the 1950s TV reruns, and it was an excellent value...barely more expensive than the usual forgettable nationwide instantiations of "the restaurant".  I'd totally take our non-foodie houseguests to Ted's Bulletin, particularly ones with kids.

[Ferris Bueller]

Breakfast - Ted's is good for offering a decent adult and even children's menu for the 1st meal of the day; all reasonably priced.  Service is quick and food comes out efficiently.  The Reston location has steady flow M-F, Saturday and Sunday are very busy anytime after 9 AM (if you don't want to wait, go before 9).  Sadly, there are not many decent places for bfast in the suburbs.  Many of the restaurants are Lunch and Dinner only, so having an option for breakfast is nice.  Nice weather and you can sit outside - RTC is not typically traffic busy in the AM and on weekends many times the main roads are closed for special events.  Pop tarts are great as is the redonkulous Cinnamon Bun (only offered on Sat/Sun).

[Cuddlyone]

Love their breakfast too. I get coffee (they bring a whole pot), 1 pancake (large and tasty), and an order of bacon (soft, the way I like it). For a few bucks, a great breakfast!!

[Pat]

Because my husband and I wanted to go out to breakfast today and weekday breakfast options are kind of limited, I decided to give Ted's on Barracks Row another try.  The hash browns were great: crispy on the outside, soft on the inside, and not greasy.  I more or less enjoyed the breakfast burrito, which I'd not had before. The green chile sauce was pretty good, spicy but not uncomfortable. The sausage patty inside the burrito was odd up against the green chile, however. It was maple-flavored.  Strongly maple-flavored.   When my husband finished his omelet, which he liked, he finished the second half of my burrito.  He was surprised by how noticeable the maple taste was. He thought I was talking about a mild flavor when I mentioned it.  Maybe maple is the only kind of sausage patty they have on hand?  Maybe there are situations where maple and green chile work together?  

It was a nice breakfast date, nonetheless.

[Dr. Delicious]

We were doing touristy things over the holiday weekend, so after a jaunt through Eastern market, we decided to make our way down Barracks Row and grab some lunch. Ted's was the first place to catch our eye, and after quickly finding free street parking on 9th, we put our names in for a 45 minute wait that lasted only 20. So, we had that going for us, which was nice. 2 mediocre pomegranate bellinis were had during the wait, but we weren't there to drink. I had Ted's Burger, and it was quite good, perfectly cooked to medium rare, and came with a side fries worthy of any French bistro (well, any good one!). The ladies got salads, which looked fresh, and is served deconstructed on the plate. Service was good, not great, but what you'd expect given the place was crowded. Overall a very enjoyable meal, and reasonably priced.