DonRocks

Beer Selection at Giant and Safeway

116 posts in this topic

Pilsner Urquell = Fermented Skunk Piss

Old Dominion Lager = Club Soda Seasoned With Dried Caterpillar Fur

Bass Ale = Caramel-Colored Rhineroceros Nostril Juice

Sam Adams = 55-Year-Old Malted Milk Ball Shat Out Of Godzilla's Ass

Corona = Watered-Down Drippings of Infected Chihuahua Penis

Heineken = Diluted Pilsner Urquell Mixed With Giraffe Spit

Yuengling = Semi-Clear Liquid Extracted From Yak Colon During Stressful Bout Of Diarrhea

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Corona = Watered-Down Drippings of Infected Chihuahua Penis

Yo Quiero Taco Bell. :lol: I think you are passing judgement on the Chihuahua.

I strongly believe that there is a dog breed to go with every beer label.

Thanks for not beating down Amstel Light and Michelob Ultra because we're all fat.

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Corona = Watered-Down Drippings of Infected Chihuahua Penis

I dunno Don... That would imply a recognisable flavor!

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I curious as to just how Rocks is able to identify all of these unusual flavors. The descriptions imply at least passing familiarity with them.

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Pilsner Urquell = Fermented Skunk Piss

Old Dominion Lager = Club Soda Seasoned With Dried Caterpillar Fur

Bass Ale = Caramel-Colored Rhineroceros Nostril Juice

Sam Adams = 55-Year-Old Malted Milk Ball Shat Out Of Godzilla's Ass

Corona = Watered-Down Drippings of Infected Chihuahua Penis

Heineken = Diluted Pilsner Urquell Mixed With Giraffe Spit

Yuengling = Semi-Clear Liquid Extracted From Yak Colon During Stressful Bout Of Diarrhea

Our biggest sellers are (in no particular order):

Heineken

Amstel Light

Sam Adams

Sam Adams Light

Michelob

Michelob Light

Budweiser

Bud Light

Miller Genuine Draft

Miller Lite

Corona

Corona Light

Yuengling Lager

Rolling Rock

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

Dominion Lager

Becks

St. Pauli Girl

Red Hook

Pilsner Urquell

I personally try to sell a good bit of Mendocino Brewing Company products (Red Tail Ale, Blue Heron Ale, etc..) Dogfish Head, and the seasonal beers that we have.

Edited by Joe Riley

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Our biggest sellers are (in no particular order):

Heineken

Amstel Light

Sam Adams

Sam Adams Light

Michelob

Michelob Light

Budweiser

Bud Light

Miller Genuine Draft

Miller Lite

Corona

Corona Light

Yuengling Lager

Rolling Rock

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

Dominion Lager

Becks

St. Pauli Girl

Red Hook

Pilsner Urquell

There is a serious Starbucks-like residual effect going on with a lot of these beers: people are still deluding themselves and clinging to the ever-so-faint memory of them once being decent.

"Yuengling isn't that bad."

"Sierra Nevada is still pretty good."

"Dominion Lager is solid local beer."

"Sam Adams is still craft brewed."

Bzzt. Wrong! They ALL suck! Every single last bloody suck-assed one of them. Twenty years ago, Pilsner Urquell and Sierra Nevada were great. Sam Adams and Dominion Lager were still good ten years ago. Now they're not much better than Michelob, any more than Vie de France is better than shithole Taco Bell.

Note in particular to Old Dominion Brewing Company: you ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Cheers,

Rocks.

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I still like Pilsner Urquell.

The real problem lies in buying it where it hasn't been sitting on the shelf for months.

Can't really argue with the other ones -- most of them weren't any good to start with.

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I still like Pilsner Urquell.

Afraid my misguided countrymen at SAB have already done quite a bit to poison that well. Despite vowing they wouldn't shift production out of Pilsen, they now have (to Poland, then Russia) and I'd swear they're screwing with the recipe, too.

Happily Czechvar (aka Budvar) still tastes like it's supposed to. Unhappily, its distribution stinks.

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Afraid my misguided countrymen at SAB have already done quite a bit to poison that well. Despite vowing they wouldn't shift production out of Pilsen, they now have (to Poland, then Russia) and I'd swear they're screwing with the recipe, too.

Happily Czechvar (aka Budvar) still tastes like it's supposed to. Unhappily, its distribution stinks.

I didn't even know that SAB had bought PU. Maybe they'll start making it at Miller plants in the US. :lol:

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Rocks, I think you are full of shit. Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, to my mind, is one of the best large volume beers out there. When you need some beers to drink while eating nachos and watching a football game, it ain't bad.

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Rocks, I think you are full of shit.  Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, to my mind, is one of the best large volume beers out there.  When you need some beers to drink while eating nachos and watching a football game, it ain't bad.

While he may still be full of shit... It has been a while since I have had a Bass Ale. Has it gotten that bad?

Lately I have been sticking to the Dogfish offerings.

eta: I have to read more carefully.

Edited by mdt

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"Sierra Nevada is still pretty good."

"Dominion Lager is solid local beer."

"Sam Adams is still craft brewed."

Bzzt.  Wrong!  They ALL suck!  Every single last bloody suck-assed one of them.  Twenty years ago, Pilsner Urquell and Sierra Nevada were great. 

Cheers,

Rocks.

Nope, I think Don is saying Sierra Nevada sucks. I haven't had on in years. I havne't had an Anchor Steam either except on tap at Swann's Oyster Bar in SF, and it was outstanding still. However, I won't vouch for my critical thinking under those particular circumstances.

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I find Dogfish Head beers to be, on the whole, unbalanced. Many of them are too sweet as well.

Dominion's beers are pedestrian, sure, but Tuppers ale on the engine, decent pub food, nice people, and wi-fi still make it a common stop for me.

Sierra is metallic, which suggests to me that in the current environment of small-batch hop monster beers, Sierra is getting culled hops.

Of the normal (read, available in 12oz bottles) beer out there, I'm a big fan of Allagash white, North Coast Scrimshaw pils, Ipswich ale (New England only), Deschutes Bachelor ESB (PNW only), the newer bottled Guinness (which hits the spot despite being macro), and....

and....

and....

on a hot, hot, hot summer day, so hot your golf cart momentum provides no cooling, so hot you could fry an egg on Yul Brynner, and only when you're not making putts and you can't figure out whether your next drive will be a chattering hook or just a yucky hook....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

Michelob Light. Not Ultra, not regular. It's actually kinda hoppy.

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Nope, I think Don is saying Sierra Nevada sucks.  I haven't had on in years.  I havne't had an Anchor Steam either except on tap at Swann's Oyster Bar in SF, and it was outstanding still.  However, I won't vouch for my critical thinking under those particular circumstances.

It does suck, but it may be the least-worst beer on Joe's list (I can't remember having a Red Hook in quite awhile, so I can't say for sure). Anchor Steam is another beer that was great twenty years ago but is now just awful.

I don't mean to be such a grump, but when places like Clipper City are turning out such a wonderful product, it's hard to give these other places - long since living off their past reputations - a free pass.

Cheers,

Rocks

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I enjoy Amstel Light sometimes when I'm thirsty, Miller High Life at Firefly, Duffs at Moe's Tavern, the residual sugar at the bottome of my bad bad bad coffee cup from Starbucks. I'm a big phoney. I do not like McDonald's, though.

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I find Dogfish Head beers to be, on the whole, unbalanced.  Many of them are too sweet as well.
I had my first Dogfish last week. I had a mixed 6-pack of 60 minute IPA and the Shelter Pale Ale. I found them both to be incredibly good and those six bottle were not unbalanced. If it were easier to find I would drink it more often, but since I am usually picking up beer at Safeway (especially when my wife is paying), I have to choose what is on the shelf. For me it is usually a choice between Pacifico, Harp, and Red Stripe.

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It does suck, but it may be the least-worst beer on Joe's list (I can't remember having a Red Hook in quite awhile, so I can't say for sure).

I'll take a Sierra over a Red Hook any day.

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I'll take a Sierra over a Red Hook any day.

I find both Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and Redhook ESB to be quite drinkable. Given that the places you usually find these beers are in a vast sea of Miller and A-B products, they are a welcome find.

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This thread has me thinking of the Beer Cooler Dance, or BCD.

It's what is happening when you see a guy shuffling back and forth in front of a beer cooler, occassionally picking up some brew and then putting it back down. This dance is caused by the following situation -- for whatever reason you are not near a reputable provider of fermented barley and hops and so stop in the one place you can see with a beer sign in the window. Amidst the BudLight, Bud, MGD, High Life, Natural Light, and Keystone there are 4-6 packs of Sierra/Sam Adams. As case after case of Bud cans flies off the shelves it becomes apparent that those 4 lonely six packs have been there for some time.

Now the introduction of dating on some beers have cut down on incidences of the BCD, but as there are some brands with missing/incoherent dating systems, the dance still exists.

How old exactly are those beers? Can't be too old. So pick up a sixer and start heading toward the register. Noticing the amount of dust on it, return it to the cooler and start looking around.

Well, maybe it's not THAT old. Glance furtively at the 4 lonely sixers and slowly shuffle over and pick a different one up. Hold while gazing over other selections once again.

This usually goes on for 3-5 minutes. To the victim it seems an eternity.

The inevitable result is that the victim buys the desired beer despite its dubious age, only to be forced to dump the sixer after the first sip and renew their quest.

Edited by JPW

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This thread has me thinking of the Beer Cooler Dance, or BCD.

It's what is happening when you see a guy shuffling back and forth in front of a beer cooler, occassionally picking up some brew and then putting it back down. This dance is caused by the following situation -- for whatever reason you are not near a reputable provider of fermented barley and hops and so stop in the one place you can see with a beer sign in the window. Amidst the BudLight, Bud, MGD, High Life, Natural Light, and Keystone there are 4-6 packs of Sierra/Sam Adams. As case after case of Bud cans flies off the shelves it becomes apparent that those 4 lonely six packs have been there for some time.

Now the introduction of dating on some beers have cut down on incidences of the BCD, but as there are some brands with missing/incoherent dating systems, the dance still exists.

How old exactly are those beers? Can't be too old. So pick up a sixer and start heading toward the register. Noticing the amount of dust on it, return it to the cooler and start looking around.

Well, maybe it's not THAT old. Glance furtively at the 4 lonely sixers and slowly shuffle over and pick a different one up. Hold while gazing over other selections once again.

This usually goes on for 3-5 minutes. To the victim it seems an eternity.

The inevitable result is that the victim buys the desired beer despite it's dubious age, only to be forced to dump the sixer after the first sip and renew their quest.

There was an interesting article in the Weekend Section of the Wall Street Journal recently that showed how to decode the date stamp on about 2 dozen brands of mass produced beer. An interesting read, but since each brand does something different, you'd have to take that primer with you each time you go beer shopping.

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Now the introduction of dating on some beers have cut down on incidences of the BCD, but as there are some brands with missing/incoherent dating systems, the dance still exists.

How old exactly are those beers? Can't be too old. So pick up a sixer and start heading toward the register. Noticing the amount of dust on it, return it to the cooler and start looking around.

That reminds me, last month the WSJ had an awesome piece with graphics that helped to crack the code of sell by dates on beer (they are all a little different). Of course, you cannot read the WSJ online, but I found this link to the graphic for your enjoyment. Pretty, right?

PS: I never read. Sorry Crescent Fresh, great minds do drink/think alike...

Edited by Meaghan

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When I was growing up, we referred to America's favorite beer as "Budvasser"-- in Yiddish, it means "bathwater."  :lol:

Zora, I'm going to shamelessly steal that - thanks! :huh:

Note in particular to Old Dominion Brewing Company:  you ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

You want Jerry Bailey's phone number? I'm here to serve :)

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It's been a while since I've tried the Clipper City offerings, they started out strong about 15 years ago (as did deGroens) and then went south. I'll have to try again.

River Horse IPA has been the house swill of choice as of late. On a hot summer day, after cutting the grass, nothing beats an ice cold long-neck Bud.

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Zora, I'm going to shamelessly steal that - thanks!  :lol:

You want Jerry Bailey's phone number?  I'm here to serve  :huh:

and we refer to it as "buttwiper"

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I find Dogfish Head beers to be, on the whole, unbalanced.  Many of them are too sweet as well.

I can't make up my mind about Dogfish. Is it possible that there's batch/bottle variation going on, 'cause I've gone off and on and off both the Shelter and the 60 Minute IPA in the last few years? I'm drinking a 60 Minute now, and it's taking names. But sometimes it's borderline treacley, for sure.

Some others in the rotation: Founder's Centennial, Two Brothers Saison and a Munich Helles kick -- Hacker-Pschorr, Hofbrau Original, Ayinger Jahrhundert. Thank God for Joe at Julio's.

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Clearly, the Shelter and 60-min are the smallest offenders. But the 90-min, Indian Brown, Raison d'Etre, Chicory Stout, and all the weird ones I've tried from them are, as you so journalistically put it, treacly.

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Rocks, I think you are full of shit.  Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, to my mind, is one of the best large volume beers out there.  When you need some beers to drink while eating nachos and watching a football game, it ain't bad.

Agreed. And I still like Anchor Steam too.

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Afraid my misguided countrymen at SAB have already done quite a bit to poison that well. Despite vowing they wouldn't shift production out of Pilsen, they now have (to Poland, then Russia) and I'd swear they're screwing with the recipe, too.

Happily Czechvar (aka Budvar) still tastes like it's supposed to. Unhappily, its distribution stinks.

If you can find it try Herald I know that have it at Iota in Arlington

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The original Budweiser hails from Vienna and is still brewed there, an entirely different taste sensation.

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The original Budweiser hails from Vienna and is still brewed there, an entirely different taste sensation.

OK other than the wrong city in the wrong country you are right it is a wonderful beer. It is from the city of Budweis in the Bohemia region of the Czeh Republic.

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If you can find it try Herald I know that have it at Iota in Arlington

I am under the impression that the Herald brewery is actually owned by an Arlingtonian. I think the beer dude at Arrowine told me that many moons ago. It surely would explain its fairly strong presence in the area.

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OK other than the wrong city in the wrong country you are right it is a wonderful beer.  It is from the city of Budweis in the Bohemia region of the Czeh Republic.

Budweiser/Budvar is sold as Czechvar in the U.S. for copyright reasons. IMHO it's not really that special, but I'm not the biggest lager fan.

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Budweiser/Budvar is sold as Czechvar in the U.S. for copyright reasons.  IMHO it's not really that special, but I'm not the biggest lager fan.

It isn't that special, and I guarantee it's not the same as what you get overseas.

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It isn't that special, and I guarantee it's not the same as what you get overseas.

I have to agree, I have had the original while in Prague, and have had Czechvar, and found them to be as different as night and day. I would not pay for a Cezhvar, but I would most definately go out of my way for a Czech Budweiser.

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...Miller Lite tastes great AND is less filling... that tasteless swill they call beer. 

Hey MG,

Some of us enjoy Miller Lite BECAUSE it is tasteless! Who would have iced tea or water when alcohol could be involved? <_<

Swill...hardly. Tasteless, refreshing beverage is more like it!

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Hey MG,

Some of us enjoy Miller Lite BECAUSE it is tasteless!  Who would have iced tea or water when alcohol could be involved? <_<

Swill...hardly.  Tasteless, refreshing beverage is more like it!

That's what Keystone is for!

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A previous "taco bell guilty pleasure" post inspired this:

While I do enjoy "good" beer, one of my guilty pleasures while traveling (in the States) is sampling the local or regional swill beer. This is beer that makes Miller Lite taste like a Guinness, and doesn't have the PBR "hipster" appeal. Of course its more the novelty of the whole thing, as I get the most pleasure out of finding those brews (1) whose name is inherently funny; (2) whose first gulp makes me look like I just drank a gallon of paint. Its interesting to me that a handful of crappy beers couldn't satisfy the whole nation, and beers like Old Style, Blatz, and Natty Bo still have their followers. Anybody else enjoy these regional crappy brews? What other lesser-known crap beers are out there?

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A previous "taco bell guilty pleasure" post inspired this:

While I do enjoy "good" beer, one of my guilty pleasures while traveling (in the States) is sampling the local or regional swill beer. This is beer that makes Miller Lite taste like a Guinness, and doesn't have the PBR "hipster" appeal. Of course its more the novelty of the whole thing, as I get the most pleasure out of finding those brews (1) whose name is inherently funny; (2) whose first gulp makes me look like I just drank a gallon of paint. Its interesting to me that a handful of crappy beers couldn't satisfy the whole nation, and beers like Old Style, Blatz, and Natty Bo still have their followers. Anybody else enjoy these regional crappy brews? What other lesser-known crap beers are out there?

Black Label, Olympia, Bohemian.....although these taste more like water than a gallon of paint....

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Iron City. (aka Iron Shitty or just plain Ahrn)

One of the nastiest brews around, but every time I'm back home in Pittsburgh I have to drink one.

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Iron City. (aka Iron Shitty or just plain Ahrn)

One of the nastiest brews around, but every time I'm back home in Pittsburgh I have to drink one.

Yes - perhaps nostalgia is another reason for my enjoyment. Drinking this stuff makes me think of college, fishing, baseball games, etc...

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Iron City. (aka Iron Shitty or just plain Ahrn)

One of the nastiest brews around, but every time I'm back home in Pittsburgh I have to drink one.

I recently spotted single bottles of Iron City at the Whole Foods in Clarendon......

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I enjoy this stuff traveling abroad too: Tusker in Kenya, Kingfisher in India, Beliken in Belize, Cristal in Peru, Nile Special in Uganda, Angkor in Cambodia... and on and on. Every tropical, developing nation has its own yellow beer that is cheap, not tasty--but not offensive--and drunk regularly. Not much switching up to be done. But it, like water, generally goes well with the food.

One word of warning: in Thailand, treat yourself and upgrade from the bottom-of-the-barrel Chang to Tiger. They essentially taste the same, but at least with Tiger you don't get the formaldehyde headache.

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I recently spotted single bottles of Iron City at the Whole Foods in Clarendon......
Ted's Montana Grill has it on the menu.

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I enjoy this stuff traveling abroad too: Tusker in Kenya, Kingfisher in India, Beliken in Belize, Cristal in Peru, Nile Special in Uganda, Angkor in Cambodia... and on and on. Every tropical, developing nation has its own yellow beer that is cheap, not tasty--but not offensive--and drunk regularly. Not much switching up to be done. But it, like water, generally goes well with the food.

One word of warning: in Thailand, treat yourself and upgrade from the bottom-of-the-barrel Chang to Tiger. They essentially taste the same, but at least with Tiger you don't get the formaldehyde headache.

...and Pilsen and Imperial (I think) in Costa Rica.

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Man, that's a toughie. There isn't really THAT much factory beer that I'd classify as pure swill; a lot of local brews simply reflect a predilection for weak flavor, or just plain cheapness. In many cases, I'd rather drink a reliably made watery beer than a bizarre, wildly-variable, hand-crafted microbrew. So, ditching the "crappy" label for a second and just focusing on non-micro regionals:

Rolling Rock, but only if it's in a smoke-filled blues hall.

Leinenkugel Red anywhere near the Twin Cities.

Shiner Bock, of course.

LaBatt's or Sleeman's in eastern Canada

Blackened Voodoo lager.

Wasn't a fan of Old Style, and I can't stand Genessee or Little Kings.

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