It seems to me, even based on your own comments, you should try HE again only order right this time. I don't know about Fong Li, but based on reputation it's hard to imagine you couldn't do better at HE with a little care.
There is no Chinese restaurant I know of where you can get reliable help from the staff, at least not until they know you. Having been burned so many times in the past by non-Chinese ordering the authentic dishes (by accident or whatever) and then rejecting them, they just won't suggest the good stuff to a Westerner they don't know. They assume (correctly most of the time) that Westerners just don't like the authentic dishes. You're only real hope is to do your research before you go, such as here on this board. Otherwise it's hit or miss, and too often the latter.
Foong Li is not great, but it isn't nauseating. We've been all over the menu at Foong Li, trying the familiar and the not-so-familar and while we have had dishes we didn't like, none were as bad as those at HEOTB. Are you telling me that we shouldn't order spicy shrimp wonton (and if so, why?) or that they are supposed to served in a greasy glop? Are you telling me that a dish that is supposed to have ginger and scallions, but has no ginger is the fault of the Westerner who ordered? Maybe I am supposed to know that authentic Chinese ginger is flavorless? Sorry - I really think this was bad cooking, not bad choosing.