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"Troilus and Cressida" (1602) by William Shakespeare (1564-1616) - A Critical Discussion


DonRocks

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"Troilus and Cressida" (1602) by William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

Prologue

My good friend, DIShGo and I will be discussing the relative merits of "Troilus and Cressida," generally classified as one of Shakespeare's "problem plays," act-by-act, scene-by-scene, in the hopes that you'll follow along with us, and joining the discussion whenever you can. Neither of us are Shakespearean scholars; just enthusiasts, so your contributions and your expertise would be most welcome, even if they're simple request for clarifications - we're just going to be winging this whole thing as we go. We're intelligent readers, yes, but Shakespeare experts we're absolutely not: please come join us as we toil through this difficult play. Troilus and Cressida starts off with an armed Chorus - a "prologue" (literally, a single soldier dressed in armor) - coming onto the stage in soliloquy, and speaking directly to the audience, not only to give some premise as to where the play begins, but also to issue the standard "Shakespearean hedge" about the play being only to the best of their abilities, and nearly apologizing that it isn't perfect.

  • ChorusIn Troy, there lies the scene. From isles of Greece 
    The princes orgulous, their high blood chafed, 
    Have to the port of Athens sent their ships, 
    Fraught with the ministers and instruments 
    Of cruel war: sixty and nine, that wore 5
    Their crownets regal, from the Athenian bay 
    Put forth toward Phrygia; and their vow is made 
    To ransack Troy, within whose strong immures 
    The ravish'd Helen, Menelaus' queen, 
    With wanton Paris sleeps; and that's the quarrel. 10
    To Tenedos they come; 
    And the deep-drawing barks do there disgorge 
    Their warlike fraughtage: now on Dardan plains 
    The fresh and yet unbruised Greeks do pitch 
    Their brave pavilions: Priam's six-gated city, 15
    Dardan, and Tymbria, Helias, Chetas, Troien, 
    And Antenorides, with massy staples 
    And corresponsive and fulfilling bolts, 
    Sperr up the sons of Troy. 
    Now expectation, tickling skittish spirits, 20
    On one and other side, Trojan and Greek, 
    Sets all on hazard: and hither am I come 
    A prologue arm'd, but not in confidence 
    Of author's pen or actor's voice, but suited 
    In like conditions as our argument, 25
    To tell you, fair beholders, that our play 
    Leaps o'er the vaunt and firstlings of those broils, 
    Beginning in the middle, starting thence away 
    To what may be digested in a play. 
    Like or find fault; do as your pleasures are: 30
    Now good or bad, 'tis but the chance of war.
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On 1/13/2014 at 1:58 AM, DonRocks said:
  • The princes orgulous, their high blood chafed, 

    Have to the port of Athens sent their ships,

    Fraught with the ministers and instruments

    Of cruel war: sixty and nine

How do you not love a prologue that uses an adjective such as "orgulous," i.e., "of or pertaining to organs "˜at the high,'" followed by sixty and nine in the first five stanzas of the play?

This play is centered around Priam having stolen the lovely Helen (who is currently living on Troy) from the Greeks and her cuckholded husband Menelaus. The Greeks are justifiably pissed off and this whole war is to get "Helen Of Troy" back to where she belongs: to the Greeks and her rightful husband Menelaus.

It's great foreshadowing, right from the very beginning.

The characters, although they look daunting, are super-easy with a guide to refer back to: you have the Trojans, defending their homeland, and the Greeks, all warriors since they are, by definition, invading Troy (part of modern-day Turkey (* see map below)) to snatch back Helen from Paris and return her to her rightful Meneleaus. I have developed "tricks" to remember who the people are, so if anyone is having trouble, just chime in, and I'll explain the system I've developed for your particular problem (believe me, there are *many* problems memorizing characters in this problematic play). For example, do you remember the old TV commercial jingle, "A-JAX! Stronger Than Dirt!" Well, Ajax is indeed a very strong warrior in this play, but not only is he "stronger than dirt," he's also "dumber than dirt." There are all sorts of modern tricks I've developed to get these names and characteristics into your head, and I can help you - just ask! There cannot possibly be something such as a "stupid question here" - this is exceedingly difficult. I'm here to explain it, and make it easy and, yes, FUN, for everyone! Even though this is not one of Shakespeare's better plays, you'll be glad you know it, and it's a good launching point when you have two people who are actually trying to make this historical play FUN! Come along with us for the ride, and please chime in whenever you'd like!

Characters: Troilus and Cressida

From "The Utah Shakespeare Festival"

The Trojans

Priam: King of Troy, Priam is the father of fifty children, six of whom appear in this play. He like most of the warriors around him chooses to continue the war rather than have dissension within his royal family.

Hector: Son of King Priam and brother of Troilus, Paris, Deiphobus, Helenus, and Cassandra, Hector is the most valiant warrior among the Trojans. Dedicated to the war and his family, it is Hector, however, who first raises the idea of calling a truce, even though he quickly abandons the idea for honor's sake.

Troilus: The youngest son of King Priam and brother of Hector, Paris, Deiphobus, Helenus, and Cassandra, Troilus is a young sensualist who is beside himself in his infatuation for Cressida. He is a slave to an almost juvenile passion, and, although at times he recognizes his faults, he is never strong enough to act upon them"”sacrificing manliness and ignoring filial and public duty to an unworthy liaison with an unworthy woman. It is Troilus who, using the ideal of honor, talks Hector into continuing the war.

Paris: The son of King Priam and brother of Hector, Troilus, Deiphobus, Helenus, and Cassandra, Paris caused the war when he seduced and abducted Helen, the wife of the Greek leader, Menelaus. He is so obsessed with her beauty and charms that he refuses to end the war, even after years of slaughter.

Deiphobus: The son of King Priam and brother of Hector, Troilus, Paris, Helenus, and Cassandra, Deiphobus, although a noble son and warrior, appears only briefly in several scenes of this play.

Helenus: The son of King Priam and brother of Hector, Troilus, Paris, Deiphobus, and Cassandra, Helenus is a priest who appears only briefly in the play.

Margarelon: A bastard son of King Priam, Margarelon exposes the cowardice of Thersites.

Aeneas: A Trojan commander and friend of Troilus, Aeneas is described by Pandarus as "one of the flowers of Troy."

Antenor: Another Trojan commander, Antenor has a shrewd wit and sound judgement.

Calchas: A Trojan priest and father of Cressida, Calchas defected to the Greek side when the war began. He convinces the Greek leaders to trade a Trojan prisoner-of-war for his daughter, thus bringing Cressida to the Greek camp and separating her from Troilus.

Pandarus: Cressida's uncle, the prurient Pandarus is retired and now lives on the memories of a sensual life and helps others to enjoy their own illicit assignations. It is Pandarus who arranges the tryst of Troilus and Cressida. In the end he is bitter and diseased.

Alexander: A servant of Cressida.

Andromache: The wife of Hector, Andromache is stirred by frightening dreams and pleads with her husband to stay home from the battle, to no avail.

Cassandra: The daughter of King Priam and sister of Hector, Troilus, Paris, Deiphobus, and Helenus, Cassandra is a prophetess but is cursed with never being believed. Thus, when she prophesies that Troy will fall unless Helen is returned to the Greeks, her brothers and others simply scoff at her.

Cressida: Daughter of Calchus and neice of Pandars, Cressida is precocious in the art of dalliance and expert at whetting the sexual apetites of her lovers, including the Trojan Troilus and later the Grecian Diomedes. She swears her eternal love to Troilus but abandons all vows as soon as she is taken to the Greek camp. She is a highly sexed, fickle woman who is in love actually only with herself.

The Greeks

Agamemnon: Commander-in-chief of the Grecian forces and brother of Menelaus, Agamemnon is a dignified, generous, and chivalric leader.

Menelaus: Brother of Agamemnon and wronged husband of the faithless Helen, Menelaus is the Spartan king but, nonetheless, the butt of many jokes about his cuckoldry.

Achilles: A Grecian commander and one of the most famous of Grecian warriors, Achilles in this play is proud, arrogant, cowardly, and lazy. While his fellow commanders and princes take to the field, he keeps to his tent, pampering himself. His cowardly attack upon the unarmed Hector reveals him to be a contemptible and hot-blooded character.

Ajax: A Grecian champion, but "a beef-witted lord," Ajax is a loutish warrior"”vain, stupid, and surly. He exhibits great physical strength, but senseless vanity. Ulysses and others convince him that he is Achilles' superior and set him up in a one-on-one fight with Hector"”all to try and make Achilles jealous and spring to action.

Ulysses: Identified by many as the real hero of the play (if there is one), Ulysses is a Grecian commander and the most wise and chivalric character in the play. It is Ulysses who diagnoses the problem in the Greek camp as insubordination (especially concerning Achilles), and it is he who recognizes Cressida for what she is.

Nestor: A Grecian commander, Nestor is one of the oldest, wisest, courageous, and loyal among the Greeks.

Diomedes: A Grecian commander, Diomedes is sent to conduct Cressida from the Trojan to the Greek camp. He is quickly smitten by her sensuality, takes her as his lover, and obtains the love token Troilus gave to her. He and Troilus later meet in battle, with neither coming out entirely victorious.

Patroclus: A Grecian commander, Patroclus is a close friend and favorite of Achilles and stays in his tent with him, rather than going to battle.

Thersites: A scurrilous and comic officer in the Greek camp who makes it his vocation to rail against the leaders and such warriors as Achilles and Ajax, Thersites is convinced that he alone is clear-sighted. He is the most vicious type of political malcontent"”the cynic that can find no good in anyone. It is Thersites, however, who voices one of the most fundamental truths of the play when he insists that "all is war and lechery."

Myrmidons: Ruthless subjects of Achilles, the Myrmidons brutally kill the unarmed Hector, at Achilles' command.

Helen: Appearing in only one scene, nonetheless Helen is the cause of the war. Supposedly seduced and abducted by Paris, she seems to live willingly with him. Although beautiful, she, like Cressida, has an almost absurd obsession with sex.

(*) HomericGreece.png

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Even though it's a so-called problem play, it was one of my favorites, and I wrote a paper on it... but that was close to 30 years ago.  The Shakespeare Theatre did an excellent production of it in the early '90s; I think it was during their first season at the Lansburgh.  Looking forward to reading your discussion.

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The princes orgulous, their high blood chafed,

Have to the port of Athens sent their ships,

Fraught with the ministers and instruments

Of cruel war: sixty and nine

Of course this would be the part that stands out for you! Personally I'm drawn to the line about "tickling skittish spirits on one and other side." It's an interesting description of soldiers off to battle.

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On 1/13/2014 at 11:30 AM, DIShGo said:

The descriptions of the characters in the play you posted are different than the ones in my book. Yours are more straightforward and descriptive, but they also take a more cynical approach to the motives of Helen and Cressida.

My book is The Oxford Shakespeare, edited by Kenneth Muir in 1982 (purchased for something like half a pound at a used bookstore in London in 2003), and is probably considered close to definitive - it goes to great lengths citing other editors' interpretations, right down to individual words: so much so that I decided to jettison reading the footnotes and word definitions along with the play because it makes me lose momentum.

But like yours, The Oxford edition does not present descriptions nearly as cynical as what I culled online from the Utah Shakespeare Festival, perhaps because it's giving away too much of the tale. But I do like the directness and strong opinion of Utah's descriptions - with Shakespeare in particular, I don't really care if I know what's going to happen before I read it; the beauty lies in the words themselves.

Jennifer, if you can explain "Exit pursued by a bear" in "A Winter's Tale," you're a better person than I am. I actually saw that once at the Folger, and they had a *huge*, fearsome, very realistic looking bear come onto the stage on its hind legs and pursue the screaming character to his death. It was a very well-done and terrifying interpretation of this mysterious, throwaway line.

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Act I, Scene 1

Troy. Before Priam's palace.

[Enter TROILUS armed, and PANDARUS]

  • Troilus. Call here my varlet; I'll unarm again:
    Why should I war without the walls of Troy,
    That find such cruel battle here within? 35

    Each Trojan that is master of his heart,
    Let him to field; Troilus, alas! hath none.
  • Pandarus. Will this gear ne'er be mended?
  • Troilus. The Greeks are strong and skilful to their strength,
    Fierce to their skill and to their fierceness valiant; 40

    But I am weaker than a woman's tear,
    Tamer than sleep, fonder than ignorance,
    Less valiant than the virgin in the night
    And skilless as unpractised infancy.
  • Pandarus. Well, I have told you enough of this: for my part, 45

    I'll not meddle nor make no further. He that will
    have a cake out of the wheat must needs tarry the grinding.
  • Pandarus. Ay, the grinding; but you must tarry
    the bolting. 50
  • Pandarus. Ay, the bolting, but you must tarry the leavening.
  • Pandarus. Ay, to the leavening; but here's yet in the word
    'hereafter' the kneading, the making of the cake, the 55

    heating of the oven and the baking; nay, you must
    stay the cooling too, or you may chance to burn your lips.
  • Troilus. Patience herself, what goddess e'er she be,
    Doth lesser blench at sufferance than I do.
    At Priam's royal table do I sit; 60

    And when fair Cressid comes into my thoughts,"”
    So, traitor! 'When she comes!' When is she thence?
  • Pandarus. Well, she looked yesternight fairer than ever I saw
    her look, or any woman else.
  • Troilus. I was about to tell thee:"”when my heart, 65

    As wedged with a sigh, would rive in twain,
    Lest Hector or my father should perceive me,
    I have, as when the sun doth light a storm,
    Buried this sigh in wrinkle of a smile:
    But sorrow, that is couch'd in seeming gladness, 70

    Is like that mirth fate turns to sudden sadness.
  • Pandarus. An her hair were not somewhat darker than Helen's"”
    well, go to"”there were no more comparison between
    the women: but, for my part, she is my kinswoman; I
    would not, as they term it, praise her: but I would 75

    somebody had heard her talk yesterday, as I did. I
    will not dispraise your sister Cassandra's wit, but"”
  • Troilus. O Pandarus! I tell thee, Pandarus,"”
    When I do tell thee, there my hopes lie drown'd,
    Reply not in how many fathoms deep 80

    They lie indrench'd. I tell thee I am mad
    In Cressid's love: thou answer'st 'she is fair;'
    Pour'st in the open ulcer of my heart
    Her eyes, her hair, her cheek, her gait, her voice,
    Handlest in thy discourse, O, that her hand, 85

    In whose comparison all whites are ink,
    Writing their own reproach, to whose soft seizure
    The cygnet's down is harsh and spirit of sense
    Hard as the palm of ploughman: this thou tell'st me,
    As true thou tell'st me, when I say I love her; 90

    But, saying thus, instead of oil and balm,
    Thou lay'st in every gash that love hath given me
    The knife that made it.
  • Troilus. Thou dost not speak so much. 95
  • Pandarus. Faith, I'll not meddle in't. Let her be as she is:
    if she be fair, 'tis the better for her; an she be
    not, she has the mends in her own hands.
  • Troilus. Good Pandarus, how now, Pandarus!
  • Pandarus. I have had my labour for my travail; ill-thought on of 100

    her and ill-thought on of you; gone between and
    between, but small thanks for my labour.
  • Troilus. What, art thou angry, Pandarus? what, with me?
  • Pandarus. Because she's kin to me, therefore she's not so fair
    as Helen: an she were not kin to me, she would be as 105

    fair on Friday as Helen is on Sunday. But what care
    I? I care not an she were a black-a-moor; 'tis all one to me.
  • Pandarus. I do not care whether you do or no. She's a fool to
    stay behind her father; let her to the Greeks; and so 110

    I'll tell her the next time I see her: for my part,
    I'll meddle nor make no more i' the matter.
  • Pandarus. Pray you, speak no more to me: I will leave all as I
    found it, and there an end.

[Exit PANDARUS. An alarum]

  • Troilus. Peace, you ungracious clamours! peace, rude sounds!
    Fools on both sides! Helen must needs be fair, 120

    When with your blood you daily paint her thus.
    I cannot fight upon this argument;
    It is too starved a subject for my sword.
    But Pandarus,"”O gods, how do you plague me!
    I cannot come to Cressid but by Pandar; 125

    And he's as tetchy to be woo'd to woo.
    As she is stubborn-chaste against all suit.
    Tell me, Apollo, for thy Daphne's love,
    What Cressid is, what Pandar, and what we?
    Her bed is India; there she lies, a pearl: 130

    Between our Ilium and where she resides,
    Let it be call'd the wild and wandering flood,
    Ourself the merchant, and this sailing Pandar
    Our doubtful hope, our convoy and our bark.

[Alarum. Enter AENEAS]

  • Aeneas. How now, Prince Troilus! wherefore not afield?
  • Troilus. Because not there: this woman's answer sorts,
    For womanish it is to be from thence.
    What news, AEneas, from the field to-day?
  • Aeneas. That Paris is returned home and hurt. 140
  • Aeneas. Troilus, by Menelaus.
  • Troilus. Let Paris bleed; 'tis but a scar to scorn;
    Paris is gored with Menelaus' horn.

[Alarum]

  • Aeneas. Hark, what good sport is out of town to-day!
  • Troilus. Better at home, if 'would I might' were 'may.'
    But to the sport abroad: are you bound thither?
  • Troilus. Come, go we then together. 150

[Exeunt]

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One of the most relevant characters in the play, for 21st-century English speakers, is Pandarus, whose very name is the origin of the verb "to pander" (or the noun "a pander" - a pimp). The rather "gentle" - some might say lily-livered - Troilus is lovesick over Pandarus' niece Cressida to the point where he no longer has the fire in his belly necessary to engage in war, and Pandarus literally "panders" to him in Act 1 Scene 1, talking up Cressida (you'll see later in the play, he does the exact same thing to Cressida, pandering to her while talking up Troilus - acting as a go-between, a matchmaker, a panderer).

At the end of the scene, Aeneas (a Trojan commander) appears to Troilus and informs him that his older brother, Paris, has been injured by Menelaus (don't forget, Paris has stolen Menelaus' wife, Helen, so Menelaus is pissed). Troilus, whose mind is only on love, registers little upset, as shown in this rhyming couplet:

TroilusLet Paris bleed; 'tis but a scar to scorn;
Paris is gored with Menelaus' horn.

While I don't want to turn this into a primer of poetry terms, do note that this rhyming couplet is in iambic pentameter (10 syllables (5 iambic feet) per line, each foot having a heartbeat (da-DUM) rhythm). For those of you who are interested, I would urge you to become familiar with some basic poetry terms - start with meter, and click on what interests you (if you scroll down to Metric Variations, you'll see various types of "feet" explained, including this one, the "iamb.") I'll keep mentioning a little of this throughout the discussion, so by the end, you'll have acquired a basic understanding even if you're not inspired to research on your own.

It's actually pretty amazing to go to the previous post and read the top part of the dialog, noting all of the iambic pentameter in it. It gives you a good appreciation for what a genius Shakespeare really was - when you're reading the play, the dialogue is so natural that you don't even think about all the trouble he went through to do this. (In lines 33-37 (the first five lines of the scene, spoken by Troilus), all of them are in iambic pentameter: "cruel" is pronounced CRU-el and "field" is pronounced as one syllable.) Note also that to fit this rhythm, Shakespeare will often accent the second syllable of his characters (as in line 37: troi-LUS).

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That is interesting about the iambic pentameter. I hadn't noticed and appreciate it now that you pointed it out.

Being a helpless romantic, I was taken with the lily-livered Troilus' description of Cressida, particularly the beauty of her hands. To go to such lengths to praise someone's hands!

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Being a helpless romantic, I was taken with the lily-livered Troilus' description of Cressida, particularly the beauty of her hands. To go to such lengths to praise someone's hands! 

And not to state the obvious, but:

-------------------------------------------------------------

Her eyes, her hair, her cheek, her gait, her voice,

Handlest in thy discourse, O, that her hand, 85

In whose comparison all whites are ink,

Writing their own reproach, to whose soft seizure

--------------------------------------------------------------

1) Note the iambic pentameter in lines 84-86

2) "seizure" in line 87 runs over by one syllable (*)

3) "Handlest" in line 85 was purposefully chosen

4) "Writing" in line 87 integrates "hands" and "ink"

(*) But I would argue that eliminating "own," while making the line five iambic feet and also retaining the meaning, would have thrown an ugly syncopation into the rhythm (read it out loud without "own" - it sounds awkward). Thus, the second syllable in "seizure" is a "ghost syllable" (my own term - I suspect there's a name for it, but I don't know what it is).

---

Edit: (If anyone can see Hamilton Johnson's Facebook posts, I swear to God I just accidentally wrote a rhyming couplet to him in iambic pentameter here. The odds of anyone believing this are zero, but it's true. I didn't even know it rhymed until after I read it, and once I noticed, I had to change one syllable to make it a perfect fit. Damn!)

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Act I, Scene 2

The Same. A street. 

[Enter CRESSIDA and ALEXANDER]

  • Alexander. Up to the eastern tower,
    Whose height commands as subject all the vale,
    To see the battle. Hector, whose patience
    Is, as a virtue, fix'd, to-day was moved:
    He chid Andromache and struck his armourer, 160

    And, like as there were husbandry in war,
    Before the sun rose he was harness'd light,
    And to the field goes he; where every flower
    Did, as a prophet, weep what it foresaw
    In Hector's wrath. 165
  • Cressida. What was his cause of anger?
  • Alexander. The noise goes, this: there is among the Greeks
    A lord of Trojan blood, nephew to Hector;
    They call him Ajax.
  • Alexander. They say he is a very man per se,
    And stands alone.
  • Cressida. So do all men, unless they are drunk, sick, or have no legs.
  • Alexander. This man, lady, hath robbed many beasts of their
    particular additions; he is as valiant as the lion, 175

    churlish as the bear, slow as the elephant: a man
    into whom nature hath so crowded humours that his
    valour is crushed into folly, his folly sauced with
    discretion: there is no man hath a virtue that he
    hath not a glimpse of, nor any man an attaint but he 180

    carries some stain of it: he is melancholy without
    cause, and merry against the hair: he hath the
    joints of every thing, but everything so out of joint
    that he is a gouty Briareus, many hands and no use,
    or purblind Argus, all eyes and no sight. 185
  • Cressida. But how should this man, that makes
    me smile, make Hector angry?
  • Alexander. They say he yesterday coped Hector in the battle and
    struck him down, the disdain and shame whereof hath
    ever since kept Hector fasting and waking. 190

[Enter PANDARUS]

  • Alexander. As may be in the world, lady. 195
  • Cressida. Good morrow, uncle Pandarus.
  • Pandarus. Good morrow, cousin Cressid: what do you talk of?
    Good morrow, Alexander. How do you, cousin? When
    were you at Ilium? 200
  • Pandarus. What were you talking of when I came? Was Hector
    armed and gone ere ye came to Ilium? Helen was not
    up, was she?
  • Cressida. Hector was gone, but Helen was not up. 205
  • Pandarus. Even so: Hector was stirring early.
  • Cressida. That were we talking of, and of his anger.
  • Pandarus. True, he was so: I know the cause too: he'll lay 210

    about him to-day, I can tell them that: and there's
    Troilus will not come far behind him: let them take
    heed of Troilus, I can tell them that too.
  • Pandarus. Who, Troilus? Troilus is the better man of the two. 215
  • Cressida. O Jupiter! there's no comparison.
  • Pandarus. What, not between Troilus and Hector? Do you know a
    man if you see him?
  • Cressida. Ay, if I ever saw him before and knew him.
  • Pandarus. Well, I say Troilus is Troilus. 220
  • Cressida. Then you say as I say; for, I am sure, he is not Hector.
  • Pandarus. No, nor Hector is not Troilus in some degrees.
  • Cressida. 'Tis just to each of them; he is himself.
  • Pandarus. Himself! Alas, poor Troilus! I would he were.
  • Pandarus. Condition, I had gone barefoot to India.
  • Pandarus. Himself! no, he's not himself: would a' were
    himself! Well, the gods are above; time must friend
    or end: well, Troilus, well: I would my heart were 230

    in her body. No, Hector is not a better man than Troilus.
  • Pandarus. Th' other's not come to't; you shall tell me another 235

    tale, when th' other's come to't. Hector shall not
    have his wit this year.
  • Cressida. He shall not need it, if he have his own.
  • Cressida. 'Twould not become him; his own's better.
  • Pandarus. You have no judgment, niece: Helen
    herself swore th' other day, that Troilus, for
    a brown favour"”for so 'tis, I must confess,"” 245

    not brown neither,"”
  • Pandarus. 'Faith, to say truth, brown and not brown.
  • Cressida. To say the truth, true and not true.
  • Pandarus. She praised his complexion above Paris. 250
  • Cressida. Why, Paris hath colour enough.
  • Cressida. Then Troilus should have too much: if she praised
    him above, his complexion is higher than his; he
    having colour enough, and the other higher, is too 255

    flaming a praise for a good complexion. I had as
    lief Helen's golden tongue had commended Troilus for
    a copper nose.
  • Pandarus. I swear to you. I think Helen loves him better than Paris.
  • Cressida. Then she's a merry Greek indeed. 260
  • Pandarus. Nay, I am sure she does. She came to him th' other
    day into the compassed window,"”and, you know, he
    has not past three or four hairs on his chin,"”
  • Cressida. Indeed, a tapster's arithmetic may soon bring his
    particulars therein to a total. 265
  • Pandarus. Why, he is very young: and yet will he, within
    three pound, lift as much as his brother Hector.
  • Cressida. Is he so young a man and so old a lifter?
  • Pandarus. But to prove to you that Helen loves him: she came
    and puts me her white hand to his cloven chin"” 270
  • Cressida. Juno have mercy! how came it cloven?
  • Pandarus. Why, you know 'tis dimpled: I think his smiling
    becomes him better than any man in all Phrygia.
  • Cressida. O yes, an 'twere a cloud in autumn.
  • Pandarus. Why, go to, then: but to prove to you that Helen
    loves Troilus,"”
  • Cressida. Troilus will stand to the proof, if you'll
    prove it so. 280
  • Pandarus. Troilus! why, he esteems her no more than I esteem
    an addle egg.
  • Cressida. If you love an addle egg as well as you love an idle
    head, you would eat chickens i' the shell.
  • Pandarus. I cannot choose but laugh, to think how she tickled 285

    his chin: indeed, she has a marvellous white hand, I
    must needs confess,"”
  • Pandarus. And she takes upon her to spy a white hair on his chin.
  • Cressida. Alas, poor chin! many a wart is richer. 290
  • Pandarus. But there was such laughing! Queen Hecuba laughed
    that her eyes ran o'er.
  • Cressida. But there was more temperate fire under the pot of 295

    her eyes: did her eyes run o'er too?
  • Cressida. At what was all this laughing?
  • Pandarus. Marry, at the white hair that Helen spied on Troilus' chin.
  • Cressida. An't had been a green hair, I should have laughed 300

    too.
  • Pandarus. They laughed not so much at the hair as at his pretty answer.
  • Pandarus. Quoth she, 'Here's but two and fifty hairs on your
    chin, and one of them is white. 305
  • Pandarus. That's true; make no question of that. 'Two and
    fifty hairs' quoth he, 'and one white: that white
    hair is my father, and all the rest are his sons.'
    'Jupiter!' quoth she, 'which of these hairs is Paris, 310

    my husband? 'The forked one,' quoth he, 'pluck't
    out, and give it him.' But there was such laughing!
    and Helen so blushed, an Paris so chafed, and all the
    rest so laughed, that it passed.
  • Cressida. So let it now; for it has been while going by. 315
  • Pandarus. Well, cousin. I told you a thing yesterday; think on't.
  • Pandarus. I'll be sworn 'tis true; he will weep you, an 'twere
    a man born in April.
  • Cressida. And I'll spring up in his tears, an 'twere a nettle 320

    against May.

[A retreat sounded]

  • Pandarus. Hark! they are coming from the field: shall we
    stand up here, and see them as they pass toward
    Ilium? good niece, do, sweet niece Cressida. 325
  • Pandarus. Here, here, here's an excellent place; here we may
    see most bravely: I'll tell you them all by their
    names as they pass by; but mark Troilus above the rest.

[AENEAS passes]

  • Pandarus. That's AEneas: is not that a brave man? he's one of
    the flowers of Troy, I can tell you: but mark
    Troilus; you shall see anon.

[ANTENOR passes]

  • Pandarus. That's Antenor: he has a shrewd wit, I can tell you;
    and he's a man good enough, he's one o' the soundest
    judgments in whosoever, and a proper man of person.
    When comes Troilus? I'll show you Troilus anon: if 340

    he see me, you shall see him nod at me.
  • Cressida. If he do, the rich shall have more.

[HECTOR passes]

  • Pandarus. That's Hector, that, that, look you, that; there's a
    fellow! Go thy way, Hector! There's a brave man,
    niece. O brave Hector! Look how he looks! there's
    a countenance! is't not a brave man?
  • Pandarus. Is a' not? it does a man's heart good. Look you
    what hacks are on his helmet! look you yonder, do
    you see? look you there: there's no jesting;
    there's laying on, take't off who will, as they say:
    there be hacks! 355
  • Pandarus. Swords! any thing, he cares not; an the devil come
    to him, it's all one: by God's lid, it does one's
    heart good. Yonder comes Paris, yonder comes Paris.
    [PARIS passes] 360

    Look ye yonder, niece; is't not a gallant man too,
    is't not? Why, this is brave now. Who said he came
    hurt home to-day? he's not hurt: why, this will do
    Helen's heart good now, ha! Would I could see
    Troilus now! You shall see Troilus anon. 365

[HELENUS passes]

  • Pandarus. That's Helenus. I marvel where Troilus is. That's
    Helenus. I think he went not forth to-day. That's Helenus.
  • Cressida. Can Helenus fight, uncle? 370
  • Pandarus. Helenus? no. Yes, he'll fight indifferent well. I
    marvel where Troilus is. Hark! do you not hear the
    people cry 'Troilus'? Helenus is a priest.
  • Cressida. What sneaking fellow comes yonder?

[TROILUS passes]

  • Pandarus. Where? yonder? that's Deiphobus. 'Tis Troilus!
    there's a man, niece! Hem! Brave Troilus! the
    prince of chivalry!
  • Pandarus. Mark him; note him. O brave Troilus! Look well upon 380

    him, niece: look you how his sword is bloodied, and
    his helm more hacked than Hector's, and how he looks,
    and how he goes! O admirable youth! he ne'er saw
    three and twenty. Go thy way, Troilus, go thy way!
    Had I a sister were a grace, or a daughter a goddess, 385

    he should take his choice. O admirable man! Paris?
    Paris is dirt to him; and, I warrant, Helen, to
    change, would give an eye to boot.

[Forces pass]

  • Pandarus. Asses, fools, dolts! chaff and bran, chaff and bran!
    porridge after meat! I could live and die i' the
    eyes of Troilus. Ne'er look, ne'er look: the eagles
    are gone: crows and daws, crows and daws! I had
    rather be such a man as Troilus than Agamemnon and 395

    all Greece.
  • Cressida. There is among the Greeks Achilles, a better man than Troilus.
  • Pandarus. Achilles! a drayman, a porter, a very camel.
  • Pandarus. 'Well, well!' why, have you any discretion? have 400

    you any eyes? Do you know what a man is? Is not
    birth, beauty, good shape, discourse, manhood,
    learning, gentleness, virtue, youth, liberality,
    and such like, the spice and salt that season a man?
  • Cressida. Ay, a minced man: and then to be baked with no date 405

    in the pie, for then the man's date's out.
  • Pandarus. You are such a woman! one knows not at what ward you
    lie.
  • Cressida. Upon my back, to defend my belly; upon my wit, to
    defend my wiles; upon my secrecy, to defend mine 410

    honesty; my mask, to defend my beauty; and you, to
    defend all these: and at all these wards I lie, at a
    thousand watches.
  • Cressida. Nay, I'll watch you for that; and that's one of the 415

    chiefest of them too: if I cannot ward what I would
    not have hit, I can watch you for telling how I took
    the blow; unless it swell past hiding, and then it's
    past watching.

[Enter Troilus's Boy]

  • Boy. Sir, my lord would instantly speak with you.
  • Boy. At your own house; there he unarms him.
  • Pandarus. Good boy, tell him I come. 425

    [Exit boy]
    I doubt he be hurt. Fare ye well, good niece.
  • Pandarus. I'll be with you, niece, by and by.
  • Cressida. By the same token, you are a bawd.
    [Exit PANDARUS]
    Words, vows, gifts, tears, and love's full sacrifice,
    He offers in another's enterprise; 435

    But more in Troilus thousand fold I see
    Than in the glass of Pandar's praise may be;
    Yet hold I off. Women are angels, wooing:
    Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing.
    That she beloved knows nought that knows not this: 440

    Men prize the thing ungain'd more than it is:
    That she was never yet that ever knew
    Love got so sweet as when desire did sue.
    Therefore this maxim out of love I teach:
    Achievement is command; ungain'd, beseech: 445

    Then though my heart's content firm love doth bear,
    Nothing of that shall from mine eyes appear.

[Exeunt]

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One of the most relevant characters in the play, for 21st-century English speakers, is Pandarus, whose very name is the origin of the verb "to pander" (or the noun "a pander" - a pimp). The rather "gentle" - some might say lily-livered - Troilus is lovesick over Pandarus' niece Cressida to the point where he no longer has the fire in his belly necessary to engage in war, and Pandarus literally "panders" to him in Act 1 Scene 1, talking up Cressida (you'll see later in the play, he does the exact same thing to Cressida, pandering to her while talking up Troilus - acting as a go-between, a matchmaker, a panderer).

Here here we have, in Act 1 Scene 2, a companion scene to the previous - with Pandarus pandering in all his shameless glory; this time, trying to sell Cressida on Troilus (why is he doing this?)

The procession of soldiers seems to go on forever, but it serves to show just how "low" Troilus is on the totem pole. I would suppose Troilus is a scrawny little teenager, bearing little resemblance to the true Greek warriors that passed before him: Aeneas, Antenor, Hector, and Helenus.

While Pandaraus is pandering, Cressida is showing what may be her true colors - a teasing, flighty, perhaps even self-centered woman, for now keeping her cards close to the vest and playing right along with the situation, enjoying the attention.

Is Troilus and Cressida setting up to be a Historical Play? A Romance? A Tragedy? A Comedy? We'll just have to keep reading and find out.

By the way, if you click on the character names, you'll be taken to www.opensourceshakespeare.org (which is where I'm getting the text from). The website is really nicely organized, and shows off the advantages of having this text in digital (i.e., searchable) format.

Everyone interested in Shakespeare should check out this video about original pronunciation.  Apparently it really changes your understanding of the works. 

I watched this entire video (it's not very long), and it is extremely entertaining and informative. The young actor really has a presence, doesn't he?

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The most interesting part of this scene for me is Cressida's speech at the end. While she is taken with Troilus, she doesn't want to let on. She fears he is more interested in the chase and will lose his desire for her when he actually catches her.

Today, many women still believe that men will desire them more if they remain somewhat unattainable. Playing hard to get was around in Shakespeare's time and is happening today.

Is Cressida correct? Will Troilus' devotion wane when she succumbs?

I enjoyed the video about the original pronunciations. Very interesting and informative. I prefer the sound of the original pronunciations.

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Act I, Scene 3

The Grecian camp. Before Agamemnon's tent.

[sennet. Enter AGAMEMNON, NESTOR, ULYSSES,] [p]MENELAUS, and others]

  • Agamemnon. Princes,
    What grief hath set the jaundice on your cheeks?
    The ample proposition that hope makes
    In all designs begun on earth below
    Fails in the promised largeness: cheques and disasters 455

    Grow in the veins of actions highest rear'd,
    As knots, by the conflux of meeting sap,
    Infect the sound pine and divert his grain
    Tortive and errant from his course of growth.
    Nor, princes, is it matter new to us 460

    That we come short of our suppose so far
    That after seven years' siege yet Troy walls stand;
    Sith every action that hath gone before,
    Whereof we have record, trial did draw
    Bias and thwart, not answering the aim, 465

    And that unbodied figure of the thought
    That gave't surmised shape. Why then, you princes,
    Do you with cheeks abash'd behold our works,
    And call them shames? which are indeed nought else
    But the protractive trials of great Jove 470

    To find persistive constancy in men:
    The fineness of which metal is not found
    In fortune's love; for then the bold and coward,
    The wise and fool, the artist and unread,
    The hard and soft seem all affined and kin: 475

    But, in the wind and tempest of her frown,
    Distinction, with a broad and powerful fan,
    Puffing at all, winnows the light away;
    And what hath mass or matter, by itself
    Lies rich in virtue and unmingled. 480
  • Nestor. With due observance of thy godlike seat,
    Great Agamemnon, Nestor shall apply
    Thy latest words. In the reproof of chance
    Lies the true proof of men: the sea being smooth,
    How many shallow bauble boats dare sail 485

    Upon her patient breast, making their way
    With those of nobler bulk!
    But let the ruffian Boreas once enrage
    The gentle Thetis, and anon behold
    The strong-ribb'd bark through liquid mountains cut, 490

    Bounding between the two moist elements,
    Like Perseus' horse: where's then the saucy boat
    Whose weak untimber'd sides but even now
    Co-rivall'd greatness? Either to harbour fled,
    Or made a toast for Neptune. Even so 495

    Doth valour's show and valour's worth divide
    In storms of fortune; for in her ray and brightness
    The herd hath more annoyance by the breeze
    Than by the tiger; but when the splitting wind
    Makes flexible the knees of knotted oaks, 500

    And flies fled under shade, why, then the thing of courage
    As roused with rage with rage doth sympathize,
    And with an accent tuned in selfsame key
    Retorts to chiding fortune.
  • Ulysses. Agamemnon, 505

    Thou great commander, nerve and bone of Greece,
    Heart of our numbers, soul and only spirit.
    In whom the tempers and the minds of all
    Should be shut up, hear what Ulysses speaks.
    Besides the applause and approbation To which, 510

    [To AGAMEMNON]
    most mighty for thy place and sway,
    [To NESTOR]
    And thou most reverend for thy stretch'd-out life
    I give to both your speeches, which were such 515

    As Agamemnon and the hand of Greece
    Should hold up high in brass, and such again
    As venerable Nestor, hatch'd in silver,
    Should with a bond of air, strong as the axle-tree
    On which heaven rides, knit all the Greekish ears 520

    To his experienced tongue, yet let it please both,
    Thou great, and wise, to hear Ulysses speak.
  • Agamemnon. Speak, prince of Ithaca; and be't of less expect
    That matter needless, of importless burden,
    Divide thy lips, than we are confident, 525

    When rank Thersites opes his mastic jaws,
    We shall hear music, wit and oracle.
  • Ulysses. Troy, yet upon his basis, had been down,
    And the great Hector's sword had lack'd a master,
    But for these instances. 530

    The specialty of rule hath been neglected:
    And, look, how many Grecian tents do stand
    Hollow upon this plain, so many hollow factions.
    When that the general is not like the hive
    To whom the foragers shall all repair, 535

    What honey is expected? Degree being vizarded,
    The unworthiest shows as fairly in the mask.
    The heavens themselves, the planets and this centre
    Observe degree, priority and place,
    Insisture, course, proportion, season, form, 540

    Office and custom, in all line of order;
    And therefore is the glorious planet Sol
    In noble eminence enthroned and sphered
    Amidst the other; whose medicinable eye
    Corrects the ill aspects of planets evil, 545

    And posts, like the commandment of a king,
    Sans cheque to good and bad: but when the planets
    In evil mixture to disorder wander,
    What plagues and what portents! what mutiny!
    What raging of the sea! shaking of earth! 550

    Commotion in the winds! frights, changes, horrors,
    Divert and crack, rend and deracinate
    The unity and married calm of states
    Quite from their fixure! O, when degree is shaked,
    Which is the ladder to all high designs, 555

    Then enterprise is sick! How could communities,
    Degrees in schools and brotherhoods in cities,
    Peaceful commerce from dividable shores,
    The primogenitive and due of birth,
    Prerogative of age, crowns, sceptres, laurels, 560

    But by degree, stand in authentic place?
    Take but degree away, untune that string,
    And, hark, what discord follows! each thing meets
    In mere oppugnancy: the bounded waters
    Should lift their bosoms higher than the shores 565

    And make a sop of all this solid globe:
    Strength should be lord of imbecility,
    And the rude son should strike his father dead:
    Force should be right; or rather, right and wrong,
    Between whose endless jar justice resides, 570

    Should lose their names, and so should justice too.
    Then every thing includes itself in power,
    Power into will, will into appetite;
    And appetite, an universal wolf,
    So doubly seconded with will and power, 575

    Must make perforce an universal prey,
    And last eat up himself. Great Agamemnon,
    This chaos, when degree is suffocate,
    Follows the choking.
    And this neglection of degree it is 580

    That by a pace goes backward, with a purpose
    It hath to climb. The general's disdain'd
    By him one step below, he by the next,
    That next by him beneath; so every step,
    Exampled by the first pace that is sick 585

    Of his superior, grows to an envious fever
    Of pale and bloodless emulation:
    And 'tis this fever that keeps Troy on foot,
    Not her own sinews. To end a tale of length,
    Troy in our weakness stands, not in her strength. 590
  • Nestor. Most wisely hath Ulysses here discover'd
    The fever whereof all our power is sick.
  • Agamemnon. The nature of the sickness found, Ulysses,
    What is the remedy?
  • Ulysses. The great Achilles, whom opinion crowns 595

    The sinew and the forehand of our host,
    Having his ear full of his airy fame,
    Grows dainty of his worth, and in his tent
    Lies mocking our designs: with him Patroclus
    Upon a lazy bed the livelong day 600

    Breaks scurril jests;
    And with ridiculous and awkward action,
    Which, slanderer, he imitation calls,
    He pageants us. Sometime, great Agamemnon,
    Thy topless deputation he puts on, 605

    And, like a strutting player, whose conceit
    Lies in his hamstring, and doth think it rich
    To hear the wooden dialogue and sound
    'Twixt his stretch'd footing and the scaffoldage,"”
    Such to-be-pitied and o'er-wrested seeming 610

    He acts thy greatness in: and when he speaks,
    'Tis like a chime a-mending; with terms unsquared,
    Which, from the tongue of roaring Typhon dropp'd
    Would seem hyperboles. At this fusty stuff
    The large Achilles, on his press'd bed lolling, 615

    From his deep chest laughs out a loud applause;
    Cries 'Excellent! 'tis Agamemnon just.
    Now play me Nestor; hem, and stroke thy beard,
    As he being drest to some oration.'
    That's done, as near as the extremest ends 620

    Of parallels, as like as Vulcan and his wife:
    Yet god Achilles still cries 'Excellent!
    'Tis Nestor right. Now play him me, Patroclus,
    Arming to answer in a night alarm.'
    And then, forsooth, the faint defects of age 625

    Must be the scene of mirth; to cough and spit,
    And, with a palsy-fumbling on his gorget,
    Shake in and out the rivet: and at this sport
    Sir Valour dies; cries 'O, enough, Patroclus;
    Or give me ribs of steel! I shall split all 630

    In pleasure of my spleen.' And in this fashion,
    All our abilities, gifts, natures, shapes,
    Severals and generals of grace exact,
    Achievements, plots, orders, preventions,
    Excitements to the field, or speech for truce, 635

    Success or loss, what is or is not, serves
    As stuff for these two to make paradoxes.
  • Nestor. And in the imitation of these twain"”
    Who, as Ulysses says, opinion crowns
    With an imperial voice"”many are infect. 640

    Ajax is grown self-will'd, and bears his head
    In such a rein, in full as proud a place
    As broad Achilles; keeps his tent like him;
    Makes factious feasts; rails on our state of war,
    Bold as an oracle, and sets Thersites, 645

    A slave whose gall coins slanders like a mint,
    To match us in comparisons with dirt,
    To weaken and discredit our exposure,
    How rank soever rounded in with danger.
  • Ulysses. They tax our policy, and call it cowardice, 650

    Count wisdom as no member of the war,
    Forestall prescience, and esteem no act
    But that of hand: the still and mental parts,
    That do contrive how many hands shall strike,
    When fitness calls them on, and know by measure 655

    Of their observant toil the enemies' weight,"”
    Why, this hath not a finger's dignity:
    They call this bed-work, mappery, closet-war;
    So that the ram that batters down the wall,
    For the great swing and rudeness of his poise, 660

    They place before his hand that made the engine,
    Or those that with the fineness of their souls
    By reason guide his execution.
  • Nestor. Let this be granted, and Achilles' horse
    Makes many Thetis' sons. 665

[A tucket]

[Enter AENEAS]

  • Agamemnon. What would you 'fore our tent? 670
  • Aeneas. Is this great Agamemnon's tent, I pray you?
  • Aeneas. May one, that is a herald and a prince,
    Do a fair message to his kingly ears?
  • Agamemnon. With surety stronger than Achilles' arm 675

    'Fore all the Greekish heads, which with one voice
    Call Agamemnon head and general.
  • Aeneas. Fair leave and large security. How may
    A stranger to those most imperial looks
    Know them from eyes of other mortals? 680
  • Aeneas. Ay;
    I ask, that I might waken reverence,
    And bid the cheek be ready with a blush
    Modest as morning when she coldly eyes 685

    The youthful Phoebus:
    Which is that god in office, guiding men?
    Which is the high and mighty Agamemnon?
  • Agamemnon. This Trojan scorns us; or the men of Troy
    Are ceremonious courtiers. 690
  • Aeneas. Courtiers as free, as debonair, unarm'd,
    As bending angels; that's their fame in peace:
    But when they would seem soldiers, they have galls,
    Good arms, strong joints, true swords; and,
    Jove's accord, 695

    Nothing so full of heart. But peace, AEneas,
    Peace, Trojan; lay thy finger on thy lips!
    The worthiness of praise distains his worth,
    If that the praised himself bring the praise forth:
    But what the repining enemy commends, 700

    That breath fame blows; that praise, sole sure,
    transcends.
  • Agamemnon. Sir, you of Troy, call you yourself AEneas?
  • Aeneas. Ay, Greek, that is my name.
  • Agamemnon. What's your affair I pray you? 705
  • Aeneas. Sir, pardon; 'tis for Agamemnon's ears.
  • Agamemnon. He hears naught privately that comes from Troy.
  • Aeneas. Nor I from Troy come not to whisper him:
    I bring a trumpet to awake his ear,
    To set his sense on the attentive bent, 710

    And then to speak.
  • Agamemnon. Speak frankly as the wind;
    It is not Agamemnon's sleeping hour:
    That thou shalt know. Trojan, he is awake,
    He tells thee so himself. 715
  • Aeneas. Trumpet, blow loud,
    Send thy brass voice through all these lazy tents;
    And every Greek of mettle, let him know,
    What Troy means fairly shall be spoke aloud.
    [Trumpet sounds] 720

    We have, great Agamemnon, here in Troy
    A prince call'd Hector,"”Priam is his father,"”
    Who in this dull and long-continued truce
    Is rusty grown: he bade me take a trumpet,
    And to this purpose speak. Kings, princes, lords! 725

    If there be one among the fair'st of Greece
    That holds his honour higher than his ease,
    That seeks his praise more than he fears his peril,
    That knows his valour, and knows not his fear,
    That loves his mistress more than in confession, 730

    With truant vows to her own lips he loves,
    And dare avow her beauty and her worth
    In other arms than hers,"”to him this challenge.
    Hector, in view of Trojans and of Greeks,
    Shall make it good, or do his best to do it, 735

    He hath a lady, wiser, fairer, truer,
    Than ever Greek did compass in his arms,
    And will to-morrow with his trumpet call
    Midway between your tents and walls of Troy,
    To rouse a Grecian that is true in love: 740

    If any come, Hector shall honour him;
    If none, he'll say in Troy when he retires,
    The Grecian dames are sunburnt and not worth
    The splinter of a lance. Even so much.
  • Agamemnon. This shall be told our lovers, Lord AEneas; 745

    If none of them have soul in such a kind,
    We left them all at home: but we are soldiers;
    And may that soldier a mere recreant prove,
    That means not, hath not, or is not in love!
    If then one is, or hath, or means to be, 750

    That one meets Hector; if none else, I am he.
  • Nestor. Tell him of Nestor, one that was a man
    When Hector's grandsire suck'd: he is old now;
    But if there be not in our Grecian host
    One noble man that hath one spark of fire, 755

    To answer for his love, tell him from me
    I'll hide my silver beard in a gold beaver
    And in my vantbrace put this wither'd brawn,
    And meeting him will tell him that my lady
    Was fairer than his grandam and as chaste 760

    As may be in the world: his youth in flood,
    I'll prove this truth with my three drops of blood.
  • Aeneas. Now heavens forbid such scarcity of youth!
  • Agamemnon. Fair Lord AEneas, let me touch your hand; 765

    To our pavilion shall I lead you, sir.
    Achilles shall have word of this intent;
    So shall each lord of Greece, from tent to tent:
    Yourself shall feast with us before you go
    And find the welcome of a noble foe. 770

[Exeunt all but ULYSSES and NESTOR]

  • Ulysses. I have a young conception in my brain;
    Be you my time to bring it to some shape. 775
  • Ulysses. This 'tis:
    Blunt wedges rive hard knots: the seeded pride
    That hath to this maturity blown up
    In rank Achilles must or now be cropp'd, 780

    Or, shedding, breed a nursery of like evil,
    To overbulk us all.
  • Ulysses. This challenge that the gallant Hector sends,
    However it is spread in general name, 785

    Relates in purpose only to Achilles.
  • Nestor. The purpose is perspicuous even as substance,
    Whose grossness little characters sum up:
    And, in the publication, make no strain,
    But that Achilles, were his brain as barren 790

    As banks of Libya,"”though, Apollo knows,
    'Tis dry enough,"”will, with great speed of judgment,
    Ay, with celerity, find Hector's purpose
    Pointing on him.
  • Ulysses. And wake him to the answer, think you? 795
  • Nestor. Yes, 'tis most meet: whom may you else oppose,
    That can from Hector bring his honour off,
    If not Achilles? Though't be a sportful combat,
    Yet in the trial much opinion dwells;
    For here the Trojans taste our dear'st repute 800

    With their finest palate: and trust to me, Ulysses,
    Our imputation shall be oddly poised
    In this wild action; for the success,
    Although particular, shall give a scantling
    Of good or bad unto the general; 805

    And in such indexes, although small pricks
    To their subsequent volumes, there is seen
    The baby figure of the giant mass
    Of things to come at large. It is supposed
    He that meets Hector issues from our choice 810

    And choice, being mutual act of all our souls,
    Makes merit her election, and doth boil,
    As 'twere from us all, a man distill'd
    Out of our virtues; who miscarrying,
    What heart receives from hence the conquering part, 815

    To steel a strong opinion to themselves?
    Which entertain'd, limbs are his instruments,
    In no less working than are swords and bows
    Directive by the limbs.
  • Ulysses. Give pardon to my speech: 820

    Therefore 'tis meet Achilles meet not Hector.
    Let us, like merchants, show our foulest wares,
    And think, perchance, they'll sell; if not,
    The lustre of the better yet to show,
    Shall show the better. Do not consent 825

    That ever Hector and Achilles meet;
    For both our honour and our shame in this
    Are dogg'd with two strange followers.
  • Nestor. I see them not with my old eyes: what are they?
  • Ulysses. What glory our Achilles shares from Hector, 830

    Were he not proud, we all should share with him:
    But he already is too insolent;
    And we were better parch in Afric sun
    Than in the pride and salt scorn of his eyes,
    Should he 'scape Hector fair: if he were foil'd, 835

    Why then, we did our main opinion crush
    In taint of our best man. No, make a lottery;
    And, by device, let blockish Ajax draw
    The sort to fight with Hector: among ourselves
    Give him allowance for the better man; 840

    For that will physic the great Myrmidon
    Who broils in loud applause, and make him fall
    His crest that prouder than blue Iris bends.
    If the dull brainless Ajax come safe off,
    We'll dress him up in voices: if he fail, 845

    Yet go we under our opinion still
    That we have better men. But, hit or miss,
    Our project's life this shape of sense assumes:
    Ajax employ'd plucks down Achilles' plumes.
  • Nestor. Ulysses, 850

    Now I begin to relish thy advice;
    And I will give a taste of it forthwith
    To Agamemnon: go we to him straight.
    Two curs shall tame each other: pride alone
    Must tarre the mastiffs on, as 'twere their bone. 855

[Exeunt]

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Now we get into the "red meat" of the play.

Just as Act 1, Scene 1 and Act 1, Scene 2 were - in a way - companion pieces, so it is with Act 1, Scene 3 and Act 2, Scene 2.

Note, from this point forward, I'm going to start abbreviating, e.g., Act 3, Scene 2 as 3.2.

1.3 begins with the leader of the Greeks - the great Agamemnon - asking his troops for advice. There is a mirror-image scene forthcoming (2.2), with Priam - the leader of the Trojans - doing the same.

After you finish 2.2 you will have both an understanding of the title characters, Troilus and Cressida (1.1 and 1.2) and also of the philosophies and thoughts of the Greek and Trojan armies (1.3 and 2.2 - both extremely important scenes worth studying) - there is also an intervening scene in between (2.1, coming next).

In this scene, 1.3, Agamemnon hears (largely from the old and wise Nestor) that the Greeks' biggest problem is the prima-donna warrior Achilles, who sits in his tent and pampers himself.

To help set, in your minds, the traits of the two physically strongest Greek warriors, Ajax and Achilles:

Both names begin with "A" (which only helps a little)

"Ajax, stronger than dirt! (And dumber than dirt, too.)"

"Achilles is a heel."

Do a "Find" on Achilles, and you'll be taken back up to the character introductions, and can read about both once again.

But get these two fixed in your minds, and make sure to distance them mentally from Agamemnon, Antenor, and Aeneas.

While Ajax isn't a terrible person, these two are very much in contrast to Nestor and Ulysses - wise, thoughtful men. And Agamemnon, the leader, is smart enough to listen to the wise ones. These five men alone are enough to make for an interesting team: the wise and great leader Agamemnon, wise, sage, and loyal Nestor, and wise and loyal Ulysses ... on the same team as prima-donna bad-ass Achilles (the Greeks' version of Shaun White) and strong-and-stupid Ajax. It is left unclear who, between Achilles and Ajax, would emerge victorious, if the two strong-men should ever get into a fight.

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Act II, Scene 1

A part of the Grecian camp.

[Enter AJAX and THERSITES]

  • Thersites. Agamemnon, how if he had boils? full, all over,
    generally? 860
  • Thersites. And those boils did run? say so: did not the
    general run then? were not that a botchy core?
  • Thersites. Then would come some matter from him; I see none now. 865
  • Ajax. Thou bitch-wolf's son, canst thou not hear?
    [beating him]
    Feel, then.
  • Thersites. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel
    beef-witted lord! 870
  • Ajax. Speak then, thou vinewedst leaven, speak: I will
    beat thee into handsomeness.
  • Thersites. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness: but,
    I think, thy horse will sooner con an oration than
    thou learn a prayer without book. Thou canst strike, 875

    canst thou? a red murrain o' thy jade's tricks!
  • Ajax. Toadstool, learn me the proclamation.
  • Thersites. Dost thou think I have no sense, thou strikest me thus?
  • Ajax. The proclamation!
  • Thersites. Thou art proclaimed a fool, I think. 880
  • Ajax. Do not, porpentine, do not: my fingers itch.
  • Thersites. I would thou didst itch from head to foot and I had
    the scratching of thee; I would make thee the
    loathsomest scab in Greece. When thou art forth in
    the incursions, thou strikest as slow as another. 885
  • Ajax. I say, the proclamation!
  • Thersites. Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles,
    and thou art as full of envy at his greatness as
    Cerberus is at Proserpine's beauty, ay, that thou
    barkest at him. 890
  • Ajax. Mistress Thersites!
  • Thersites. He would pun thee into shivers with his fist, as a
    sailor breaks a biscuit. 895
  • Ajax. [beating him] You whoreson cur!
  • Ajax. Thou stool for a witch!
  • Thersites. Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast no
    more brain than I have in mine elbows; an assinego 900

    may tutor thee: thou scurvy-valiant ass! thou art
    here but to thrash Trojans; and thou art bought and
    sold among those of any wit, like a barbarian slave.
    If thou use to beat me, I will begin at thy heel, and
    tell what thou art by inches, thou thing of no 905

    bowels, thou!
  • Ajax. [beating him] You cur!
  • Thersites. Mars his idiot! do, rudeness; do, camel; do, do. 910

[Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS]

  • Achilles. Why, how now, Ajax! wherefore do you thus? How now,
    Thersites! what's the matter, man?
  • Thersites. But yet you look not well upon him; for whosoever you 920

    take him to be, he is Ajax.
  • Thersites. Ay, but that fool knows not himself.
  • Ajax. Therefore I beat thee.
  • Thersites. Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters! his 925

    evasions have ears thus long. I have bobbed his
    brain more than he has beat my bones: I will buy
    nine sparrows for a penny, and his pia mater is not
    worth the nineth part of a sparrow. This lord,
    Achilles, Ajax, who wears his wit in his belly and 930

    his guts in his head, I'll tell you what I say of
    him.

[Ajax offers to beat him]

  • Thersites. As will stop the eye of Helen's needle, for whom he
    comes to fight. 940
  • Thersites. I would have peace and quietness, but the fool will
    not: he there: that he: look you there.
  • Ajax. O thou damned cur! I shall"”
  • Achilles. Will you set your wit to a fool's? 945
  • Thersites. No, I warrant you; for a fools will shame it.
  • Ajax. I bade the vile owl go learn me the tenor of the
    proclamation, and he rails upon me. 950
  • Ajax. Well, go to, go to.
  • Achilles. Your last service was sufferance, 'twas not
    voluntary: no man is beaten voluntary: Ajax was 955

    here the voluntary, and you as under an impress.
  • Thersites. E'en so; a great deal of your wit, too, lies in your
    sinews, or else there be liars. Hector have a great
    catch, if he knock out either of your brains: a'
    were as good crack a fusty nut with no kernel. 960
  • Achilles. What, with me too, Thersites?
  • Thersites. There's Ulysses and old Nestor, whose wit was mouldy
    ere your grandsires had nails on their toes, yoke you
    like draught-oxen and make you plough up the wars.
  • Thersites. Yes, good sooth: to, Achilles! to, Ajax! to!
  • Ajax. I shall cut out your tongue.
  • Thersites. 'Tis no matter! I shall speak as much as thou
    afterwards.
  • Patroclus. No more words, Thersites; peace! 970
  • Thersites. I will hold my peace when Achilles' brach bids me, shall I?
  • Thersites. I will see you hanged, like clotpoles, ere I come
    any more to your tents: I will keep where there is
    wit stirring and leave the faction of fools. 975

[Exit]

  • Achilles. Marry, this, sir, is proclaim'd through all our host:
    That Hector, by the fifth hour of the sun,
    Will with a trumpet 'twixt our tents and Troy 980

    To-morrow morning call some knight to arms
    That hath a stomach; and such a one that dare
    Maintain"”I know not what: 'tis trash. Farewell.
  • Ajax. Farewell. Who shall answer him?
  • Achilles. I know not: 'tis put to lottery; otherwise 985

    He knew his man.
  • Ajax. O, meaning you. I will go learn more of it.
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2.1 is a very funny scene to me, with some hilariously cutting dialogue coming from Thersites (I think the name is pronounced something like "Atrocities," the first syllable rhyming with "Chair" and having the only accent).

Although Thersites is something akin to "Ajax's bitch," he bears a resemblance to The Fool in King Lear - always pestering people in a very funny, deceptively wise way - the huge difference being that Thersites is one *cranky son of a bitch*, letting it fly and holding in nothing. The exchange between him and Ajax (insult-slap-insult-slap-insult-slap) is really funny, and at least for me, serves as comic relief even though I'm not sure it's supposed to. The creativity and savagery of Thersites' insults would make Jackie Mason blush.

The end of the scene is as catty as any sorority house, with Achilles and Ajax parting, each with a snide one-liner towards each other, very thinly cloaked, or not heard at all (btw, my copy has Achilles leaving the stage before Ajax speaks his last line - a very important detail omitted here). This will certainly have relevance in the upcoming scene, 2.2.

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I agree with you. I found the dialogue in this scene (2.1) to be very funny. Do you not think that was Shakespeare's intention? I think it would be very entertaining to see this scene performed on stage.

As for the previous Scene (1.3), I appreciated your guide to the characters as well as your assessment of them to help me keep the soldiers straight. To be honest, the first time I read this scene, I found it boring. I have a deeper appreciation of it now, after reading it again and noting the extensive use of iambic pentameter throughout.

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Act II, Scene 2

Troy. A room in Priam's palace

 
[Enter PRIAM, HECTOR, TROILUS, PARIS, and HELENUS]

  • PriamAfter so many hours, lives, speeches spent, 990
    Thus once again says Nestor from the Greeks: 
    'Deliver Helen, and all damage else"” 
    As honour, loss of time, travail, expense, 
    Wounds, friends, and what else dear that is consumed 
    In hot digestion of this cormorant war"” 995
    Shall be struck off.' Hector, what say you to't?
  • HectorThough no man lesser fears the Greeks than I 
    As far as toucheth my particular, 
    Yet, dread Priam, 
    There is no lady of more softer bowels, 1000
    More spongy to suck in the sense of fear, 
    More ready to cry out 'Who knows what follows?' 
    Than Hector is: the wound of peace is surety, 
    Surety secure; but modest doubt is call'd 
    The beacon of the wise, the tent that searches 1005
    To the bottom of the worst. Let Helen go: 
    Since the first sword was drawn about this question, 
    Every tithe soul, 'mongst many thousand dismes, 
    Hath been as dear as Helen; I mean, of ours: 
    If we have lost so many tenths of ours, 1010
    To guard a thing not ours nor worth to us, 
    Had it our name, the value of one ten, 
    What merit's in that reason which denies 
    The yielding of her up?
  • TroilusFie, fie, my brother! 1015
    Weigh you the worth and honour of a king 
    So great as our dread father in a scale 
    Of common ounces? will you with counters sum 
    The past proportion of his infinite? 
    And buckle in a waist most fathomless 1020
    With spans and inches so diminutive 
    As fears and reasons? fie, for godly shame!
  • HelenusNo marvel, though you bite so sharp at reasons, 
    You are so empty of them. Should not our father 
    Bear the great sway of his affairs with reasons, 1025
    Because your speech hath none that tells him so?
  • TroilusYou are for dreams and slumbers, brother priest; 
    You fur your gloves with reason. Here are 
    your reasons: 
    You know an enemy intends you harm; 1030
    You know a sword employ'd is perilous, 
    And reason flies the object of all harm: 
    Who marvels then, when Helenus beholds 
    A Grecian and his sword, if he do set 
    The very wings of reason to his heels 1035
    And fly like chidden Mercury from Jove, 
    Or like a star disorb'd? Nay, if we talk of reason, 
    Let's shut our gates and sleep: manhood and honour 
    Should have hare-hearts, would they but fat 
    their thoughts 1040
    With this cramm'd reason: reason and respect 
    Make livers pale and lustihood deject.
  • HectorBrother, she is not worth what she doth cost 
    The holding.
  • TroilusWhat is aught, but as 'tis valued?1045
  • HectorBut value dwells not in particular will; 
    It holds his estimate and dignity 
    As well wherein 'tis precious of itself 
    As in the prizer: 'tis mad idolatry 
    To make the service greater than the god 1050
    And the will dotes that is attributive 
    To what infectiously itself affects, 
    Without some image of the affected merit.
  • TroilusI take to-day a wife, and my election 
    Is led on in the conduct of my will; 1055
    My will enkindled by mine eyes and ears, 
    Two traded pilots 'twixt the dangerous shores 
    Of will and judgment: how may I avoid, 
    Although my will distaste what it elected, 
    The wife I chose? there can be no evasion 1060
    To blench from this and to stand firm by honour: 
    We turn not back the silks upon the merchant, 
    When we have soil'd them, nor the remainder viands 
    We do not throw in unrespective sieve, 
    Because we now are full. It was thought meet 1065
    Paris should do some vengeance on the Greeks: 
    Your breath of full consent bellied his sails; 
    The seas and winds, old wranglers, took a truce 
    And did him service: he touch'd the ports desired, 
    And for an old aunt whom the Greeks held captive, 1070
    He brought a Grecian queen, whose youth and freshness 
    Wrinkles Apollo's, and makes stale the morning. 
    Why keep we her? the Grecians keep our aunt: 
    Is she worth keeping? why, she is a pearl, 
    Whose price hath launch'd above a thousand ships, 1075
    And turn'd crown'd kings to merchants. 
    If you'll avouch 'twas wisdom Paris went"” 
    As you must needs, for you all cried 'Go, go,'"” 
    If you'll confess he brought home noble prize"” 
    As you must needs, for you all clapp'd your hands 1080
    And cried 'Inestimable!'"”why do you now 
    The issue of your proper wisdoms rate, 
    And do a deed that fortune never did, 
    Beggar the estimation which you prized 
    Richer than sea and land? O, theft most base, 1085
    That we have stol'n what we do fear to keep! 
    But, thieves, unworthy of a thing so stol'n, 
    That in their country did them that disgrace, 
    We fear to warrant in our native place!
  • Cassandra[Within] Cry, Trojans, cry!1090
  • PriamWhat noise? what shriek is this?
  • Troilus'Tis our mad sister, I do know her voice.

[Enter CASSANDRA, raving]

  • CassandraCry, Trojans, cry! lend me ten thousand eyes, 
    And I will fill them with prophetic tears.
  • HectorPeace, sister, peace!
  • CassandraVirgins and boys, mid-age and wrinkled eld, 
    Soft infancy, that nothing canst but cry, 1100
    Add to my clamours! let us pay betimes 
    A moiety of that mass of moan to come. 
    Cry, Trojans, cry! practise your eyes with tears! 
    Troy must not be, nor goodly Ilion stand; 
    Our firebrand brother, Paris, burns us all. 1105
    Cry, Trojans, cry! a Helen and a woe: 
    Cry, cry! Troy burns, or else let Helen go.

[Exit]

  • HectorNow, youthful Troilus, do not these high strains 
    Of divination in our sister work 1110
    Some touches of remorse? or is your blood 
    So madly hot that no discourse of reason, 
    Nor fear of bad success in a bad cause, 
    Can qualify the same?
  • TroilusWhy, brother Hector, 1115
    We may not think the justness of each act 
    Such and no other than event doth form it, 
    Nor once deject the courage of our minds, 
    Because Cassandra's mad: her brain-sick raptures 
    Cannot distaste the goodness of a quarrel 1120
    Which hath our several honours all engaged 
    To make it gracious. For my private part, 
    I am no more touch'd than all Priam's sons: 
    And Jove forbid there should be done amongst us 
    Such things as might offend the weakest spleen 1125
    To fight for and maintain!
  • ParisElse might the world convince of levity 
    As well my undertakings as your counsels: 
    But I attest the gods, your full consent 
    Gave wings to my propension and cut off 1130
    All fears attending on so dire a project. 
    For what, alas, can these my single arms? 
    What Propugnation is in one man's valour, 
    To stand the push and enmity of those 
    This quarrel would excite? Yet, I protest, 1135
    Were I alone to pass the difficulties 
    And had as ample power as I have will, 
    Paris should ne'er retract what he hath done, 
    Nor faint in the pursuit.
  • PriamParis, you speak 1140
    Like one besotted on your sweet delights: 
    You have the honey still, but these the gall; 
    So to be valiant is no praise at all.
  • ParisSir, I propose not merely to myself 
    The pleasures such a beauty brings with it; 1145
    But I would have the soil of her fair rape 
    Wiped off, in honourable keeping her. 
    What treason were it to the ransack'd queen, 
    Disgrace to your great worths and shame to me, 
    Now to deliver her possession up 1150
    On terms of base compulsion! Can it be 
    That so degenerate a strain as this 
    Should once set footing in your generous bosoms? 
    There's not the meanest spirit on our party 
    Without a heart to dare or sword to draw 1155
    When Helen is defended, nor none so noble 
    Whose life were ill bestow'd or death unfamed 
    Where Helen is the subject; then, I say, 
    Well may we fight for her whom, we know well, 
    The world's large spaces cannot parallel.1160
  • HectorParis and Troilus, you have both said well, 
    And on the cause and question now in hand 
    Have glozed, but superficially: not much 
    Unlike young men, whom Aristotle thought 
    Unfit to hear moral philosophy: 1165
    The reasons you allege do more conduce 
    To the hot passion of distemper'd blood 
    Than to make up a free determination 
    'Twixt right and wrong, for pleasure and revenge 
    Have ears more deaf than adders to the voice 1170
    Of any true decision. Nature craves 
    All dues be render'd to their owners: now, 
    What nearer debt in all humanity 
    Than wife is to the husband? If this law 
    Of nature be corrupted through affection, 1175
    And that great minds, of partial indulgence 
    To their benumbed wills, resist the same, 
    There is a law in each well-order'd nation 
    To curb those raging appetites that are 
    Most disobedient and refractory. 1180
    If Helen then be wife to Sparta's king, 
    As it is known she is, these moral laws 
    Of nature and of nations speak aloud 
    To have her back return'd: thus to persist 
    In doing wrong extenuates not wrong, 1185
    But makes it much more heavy. Hector's opinion 
    Is this in way of truth; yet ne'ertheless, 
    My spritely brethren, I propend to you 
    In resolution to keep Helen still, 
    For 'tis a cause that hath no mean dependance 1190
    Upon our joint and several dignities.
  • TroilusWhy, there you touch'd the life of our design: 
    Were it not glory that we more affected 
    Than the performance of our heaving spleens, 
    I would not wish a drop of Trojan blood 1195
    Spent more in her defence. But, worthy Hector, 
    She is a theme of honour and renown, 
    A spur to valiant and magnanimous deeds, 
    Whose present courage may beat down our foes, 
    And fame in time to come canonize us; 1200
    For, I presume, brave Hector would not lose 
    So rich advantage of a promised glory 
    As smiles upon the forehead of this action 
    For the wide world's revenue.
  • HectorI am yours, 1205
    You valiant offspring of great Priamus. 
    I have a roisting challenge sent amongst 
    The dun and factious nobles of the Greeks 
    Will strike amazement to their drowsy spirits: 
    I was advertised their great general slept, 1210
    Whilst emulation in the army crept: 
    This, I presume, will wake him.

[Exeunt]

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It is incredibly galling in this scene that Paris and Troilus - the two biggest pussies in the Trojan army, are the ones arguing to continue the bloodshed, whereas the older, nobler, wiser ones are counseling against it. Paris is reaping the "honeyed" benefits of a stolen Helen - why would he not want his brothers fighting to protect his purloined muff? Troilus is the most lily-livered of the bunch, being so infatuated with Cressida that his tiny little examples of pre-pubescent doo-dads could easily be mistaken for a couple of Raisinettes. The almost farcical component in this scene is that they're being treated seriously by Priam - seemingly with equal consideration to their far superior comrades who have busted their butts fighting for ... what, exactly?

Cassandra is a wonderful break-in here, much like Lady Macbeth in her candle scene, but more succinct, smaller, and not as scary:

"Cry, Trojans, cry! a Helen and a woe: 

Cry, cry! Troy burns, or else let Helen go."

Don't say you weren't aptly foretold, my dear Trojans.

Rule #1: Whenever a Shakespearean character issues a supernatural warning, regardless of their perceived mental state, ignore it at your own peril.

And yes, this is another piece of prose:

written nor in rhyme, nor couplet, but shows

iambic pentameter. My alert

warned, from the first, that I am no expert.

Thus, no mention of this again, but still:

A rhyming couplet will bid this adieu,

and I look forward hearing back from you.

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It is incredibly galling in this scene that Paris and Troilus - the two biggest pussies in the Trojan army, are the ones arguing to continue the bloodshed, whereas the older, nobler, wiser ones are counseling against it. Paris is reaping the "honeyed" benefits of a stolen Helen - why would he not want his brothers fighting to protect his purloined muff? Troilus is the most lily-livered of the bunch, being so infatuated with Cressida that his tiny little examples of pre-pubescent doo-dads could easily be mistaken for a couple of Raisinettes. The almost farcical component in this scene is that they're being treated seriously by Priam - seemingly with equal consideration to their far superior comrades who have busted their butts fighting for ... what, exactly?

While I have found this play to be rather dull so far, your commentary has been anything but! Purloined muff and Raisinettes. You are a colorful writer, Don.

It seems odd to me that Troilus is suddenly all gung-ho to fight when throughout the play hasn't seemed to care about the war. Why do you think he is reacting this way? Is he merely saying what he thinks he is expected to say? Is he trying to appear tough to impress Cressida? Do you think Shakespeare meant for this scene to be farcical?

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While I have found this play to be rather dull so far, your commentary has been anything but! Purloined muff and Raisinettes. You are a colorful writer, Don.

It seems odd to me that Troilus is suddenly all gung-ho to fight when throughout the play hasn't seemed to care about the war. Why do you think he is reacting this way? Is he merely saying what he thinks he is expected to say? Is he trying to appear tough to impress Cressida? Do you think Shakespeare meant for this scene to be farcical?

I see nothing in the play, at least not up to this point, that would cause such a bellicose outburst by Troilus. Pandarus is not present in the scene, and neither is Cressida, so there's no reason to suppose this conversation would reach her. I don't think this is a farce, either; I'm hoping there will be some justification in upcoming scenes because this fiery attitude of Troilus needs some literary support.

There's no doubting the sheer genius of the man called Shakespeare, but if you've ever read his early works (and I'm referring specifically to Henry VI, Part 1, and Henry VI, Part 2) they go from "really bad," to "so bad that you can't believe this is Shakespeare." (They're worth reading just to see that even "The Greatest" isn't always great (Rachmaninov just popped into my head - his early piano works *suck*.)) What I'm getting at is: there's a chance this may never be explained.

I am not saying this to shame, or shock,

but art has foibles - all, except for Bach.

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Chaucer did a version too that's pretty interesting. Though not as bawdy as I would like.

The history plays are a little on the lame side, but we all have to be at least a little lame before we get awesome.

Put that on a tshirt.

Sounds like a quote from My So Called Life.

Speaking of lame. . .

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Act II, Scene 3

The Grecian camp. Before Achilles' tent.

[Enter THERSITES, solus]

  • ThersitesHow now, Thersites! what lost in the labyrinth of 1215
    thy fury! Shall the elephant Ajax carry it thus? He 
    beats me, and I rail at him: O, worthy satisfaction! 
    would it were otherwise; that I could beat him, 
    whilst he railed at me. 'Sfoot, I'll learn to 
    conjure and raise devils, but I'll see some issue of 1220
    my spiteful execrations. Then there's Achilles, a 
    rare enginer! If Troy be not taken till these two 
    undermine it, the walls will stand till they fall of 
    themselves. O thou great thunder-darter of Olympus, 
    forget that thou art Jove, the king of gods and, 1225
    Mercury, lose all the serpentine craft of thy 
    caduceus, if ye take not that little, little less 
    than little wit from them that they have! which 
    short-armed ignorance itself knows is so abundant 
    scarce, it will not in circumvention deliver a fly 1230
    from a spider, without drawing their massy irons and 
    cutting the web. After this, the vengeance on the 
    whole camp! or rather, the bone-ache! for that, 
    methinks, is the curse dependent on those that war 
    for a placket. I have said my prayers and devil Envy 1235
    say Amen. What ho! my Lord Achilles!

[Enter PATROCLUS]

  • PatroclusWho's there? Thersites! Good Thersites, come in and rail.
  • ThersitesIf I could have remembered a gilt counterfeit, thou 
    wouldst not have slipped out of my contemplation: but 1240
    it is no matter; thyself upon thyself! The common 
    curse of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in 
    great revenue! heaven bless thee from a tutor, and 
    discipline come not near thee! Let thy blood be thy 
    direction till thy death! then if she that lays thee 1245
    out says thou art a fair corse, I'll be sworn and 
    sworn upon't she never shrouded any but lazars. 
    Amen. Where's Achilles?
  • PatroclusWhat, art thou devout? wast thou in prayer?

[Enter ACHILLES]

  • AchillesWhere, where? Art thou come? why, my cheese, my 
    digestion, why hast thou not served thyself in to 1255
    my table so many meals? Come, what's Agamemnon?
  • ThersitesThy commander, Achilles. Then tell me, Patroclus, 
    what's Achilles?
  • PatroclusThy lord, Thersites: then tell me, I pray thee, 
    what's thyself?1260
  • ThersitesThy knower, Patroclus: then tell me, Patroclus, 
    what art thou?
  • ThersitesI'll decline the whole question. Agamemnon commands 1265
    Achilles; Achilles is my lord; I am Patroclus' 
    knower, and Patroclus is a fool.
  • AchillesHe is a privileged man. Proceed, Thersites.1270
  • ThersitesAgamemnon is a fool; Achilles is a fool; Thersites 
    is a fool, and, as aforesaid, Patroclus is a fool.
  • ThersitesAgamemnon is a fool to offer to command Achilles; 
    Achilles is a fool to be commanded of Agamemnon; 1275
    Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool, and 
    Patroclus is a fool positive.
  • ThersitesMake that demand of the prover. It suffices me thou 
    art. Look you, who comes here?1280
  • AchillesPatroclus, I'll speak with nobody. 
    Come in with me, Thersites.

[Exit]

  • ThersitesHere is such patchery, such juggling and such 
    knavery! all the argument is a cuckold and a 1285
    whore; a good quarrel to draw emulous factions 
    and bleed to death upon. Now, the dry serpigo on 
    the subject! and war and lechery confound all!

[Exit]

[Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, DIOMEDES, and AJAX]

  • PatroclusWithin his tent; but ill disposed, my lord.
  • AgamemnonLet it be known to him that we are here. 
    He shent our messengers; and we lay by 
    Our appertainments, visiting of him: 1295
    Let him be told so; lest perchance he think 
    We dare not move the question of our place, 
    Or know not what we are.

[Exit]

  • UlyssesWe saw him at the opening of his tent: 
    He is not sick.
  • AjaxYes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart: you may call it 
    melancholy, if you will favour the man; but, by my 
    head, 'tis pride: but why, why? let him show us the 1305
    cause. A word, my lord.

[Takes AGAMEMNON aside]

  • NestorWhat moves Ajax thus to bay at him?
  • UlyssesAchilles hath inveigled his fool from him.
  • NestorWho, Thersites?1310
  • NestorThen will Ajax lack matter, if he have lost his argument.
  • UlyssesNo, you see, he is his argument that has his 
    argument, Achilles.
  • NestorAll the better; their fraction is more our wish than 1315
    their faction: but it was a strong composure a fool 
    could disunite.
  • UlyssesThe amity that wisdom knits not, folly may easily 
    untie. Here comes Patroclus.

[Re-enter PATROCLUS]

  • NestorNo Achilles with him.
  • UlyssesThe elephant hath joints, but none for courtesy: 
    his legs are legs for necessity, not for flexure.
  • PatroclusAchilles bids me say, he is much sorry, 
    If any thing more than your sport and pleasure 1325
    Did move your greatness and this noble state 
    To call upon him; he hopes it is no other 
    But for your health and your digestion sake, 
    And after-dinner's breath.
  • AgamemnonHear you, Patroclus: 1330
    We are too well acquainted with these answers: 
    But his evasion, wing'd thus swift with scorn, 
    Cannot outfly our apprehensions. 
    Much attribute he hath, and much the reason 
    Why we ascribe it to him; yet all his virtues, 1335
    Not virtuously on his own part beheld, 
    Do in our eyes begin to lose their gloss, 
    Yea, like fair fruit in an unwholesome dish, 
    Are like to rot untasted. Go and tell him, 
    We come to speak with him; and you shall not sin, 1340
    If you do say we think him over-proud 
    And under-honest, in self-assumption greater 
    Than in the note of judgment; and worthier 
    than himself 
    Here tend the savage strangeness he puts on, 1345
    Disguise the holy strength of their command, 
    And underwrite in an observing kind 
    His humorous predominance; yea, watch 
    His pettish lunes, his ebbs, his flows, as if 
    The passage and whole carriage of this action 1350
    Rode on his tide. Go tell him this, and add, 
    That if he overhold his price so much, 
    We'll none of him; but let him, like an engine 
    Not portable, lie under this report: 
    'Bring action hither, this cannot go to war: 1355
    A stirring dwarf we do allowance give 
    Before a sleeping giant.' Tell him so.
  • PatroclusI shall; and bring his answer presently.

[Exit]

  • AgamemnonIn second voice we'll not be satisfied; 1360
    We come to speak with him. Ulysses, enter you.

[Exit ULYSSES]

  • AjaxWhat is he more than another?
  • AgamemnonNo more than what he thinks he is.
  • AjaxIs he so much? Do you not think he thinks himself a 1365
    better man than I am?
  • AjaxWill you subscribe his thought, and say he is?
  • AgamemnonNo, noble Ajax; you are as strong, as valiant, as 
    wise, no less noble, much more gentle, and altogether 1370
    more tractable.
  • AjaxWhy should a man be proud? How doth pride grow? I 
    know not what pride is.
  • AgamemnonYour mind is the clearer, Ajax, and your virtues the 
    fairer. He that is proud eats up himself: pride is 1375
    his own glass, his own trumpet, his own chronicle; 
    and whatever praises itself but in the deed, devours 
    the deed in the praise.
  • AjaxI do hate a proud man, as I hate the engendering of toads.
  • NestorYet he loves himself: is't not strange?1380

[Aside]

[Re-enter ULYSSES]

  • UlyssesAchilles will not to the field to-morrow.
  • UlyssesHe doth rely on none, 1385
    But carries on the stream of his dispose 
    Without observance or respect of any, 
    In will peculiar and in self-admission.
  • AgamemnonWhy will he not upon our fair request 
    Untent his person and share the air with us?1390
  • UlyssesThings small as nothing, for request's sake only, 
    He makes important: possess'd he is with greatness, 
    And speaks not to himself but with a pride 
    That quarrels at self-breath: imagined worth 
    Holds in his blood such swoln and hot discourse 1395
    That 'twixt his mental and his active parts 
    Kingdom'd Achilles in commotion rages 
    And batters down himself: what should I say? 
    He is so plaguy proud that the death-tokens of it 
    Cry 'No recovery.'AGAMEMNON. Let Ajax go to him. 1400
    Dear lord, go you and greet him in his tent: 
    'Tis said he holds you well, and will be led 
    At your request a little from himself.
  • UlyssesO Agamemnon, let it not be so! 
    We'll consecrate the steps that Ajax makes 1405
    When they go from Achilles: shall the proud lord 
    That bastes his arrogance with his own seam 
    And never suffers matter of the world 
    Enter his thoughts, save such as do revolve 
    And ruminate himself, shall he be worshipp'd 1410
    Of that we hold an idol more than he? 
    No, this thrice worthy and right valiant lord 
    Must not so stale his palm, nobly acquired; 
    Nor, by my will, assubjugate his merit, 
    As amply titled as Achilles is, 1415
    By going to Achilles: 
    That were to enlard his fat already pride 
    And add more coals to Cancer when he burns 
    With entertaining great Hyperion. 
    This lord go to him! Jupiter forbid, 1420
    And say in thunder 'Achilles go to him.'
  • Nestor[Aside to DIOMEDES] O, this is well; he rubs the 
    vein of him.
  • Diomedes[Aside to NESTOR] And how his silence drinks up 
    this applause!1425
  • AjaxIf I go to him, with my armed fist I'll pash him o'er the face.
  • AjaxAn a' be proud with me, I'll pheeze his pride: 
    Let me go to him.
  • UlyssesNot for the worth that hangs upon our quarrel.1430
  • AjaxA paltry, insolent fellow!
  • NestorHow he describes himself!
  • AjaxCan he not be sociable?
  • UlyssesThe raven chides blackness.
  • AjaxI'll let his humours blood.1435
  • AgamemnonHe will be the physician that should be the patient.
  • AjaxAn all men were o' my mind,"”
  • UlyssesWit would be out of fashion.
  • AjaxA' should not bear it so, a' should eat swords first: 
    shall pride carry it?1440
  • NestorAn 'twould, you'ld carry half.
  • UlyssesA' would have ten shares.
  • AjaxI will knead him; I'll make him supple.
  • NestorHe's not yet through warm: force him with praises: 
    pour in, pour in; his ambition is dry.1445
  • Ulysses[To AGAMEMNON] My lord, you feed too much on this dislike.
  • NestorOur noble general, do not do so.
  • DiomedesYou must prepare to fight without Achilles.
  • UlyssesWhy, 'tis this naming of him does him harm. 
    Here is a man"”but 'tis before his face; 1450
    I will be silent.
  • NestorWherefore should you so? 
    He is not emulous, as Achilles is.
  • UlyssesKnow the whole world, he is as valiant.
  • AjaxA whoreson dog, that shall pelter thus with us! 1455
    Would he were a Trojan!
  • NestorWhat a vice were it in Ajax now,"”
  • UlyssesAy, or surly borne,"”1460
  • DiomedesOr strange, or self-affected!
  • UlyssesThank the heavens, lord, thou art of sweet composure; 
    Praise him that got thee, she that gave thee suck: 
    Famed be thy tutor, and thy parts of nature 
    Thrice famed, beyond all erudition: 1465
    But he that disciplined thy arms to fight, 
    Let Mars divide eternity in twain, 
    And give him half: and, for thy vigour, 
    Bull-bearing Milo his addition yield 
    To sinewy Ajax. I will not praise thy wisdom, 1470
    Which, like a bourn, a pale, a shore, confines 
    Thy spacious and dilated parts: here's Nestor; 
    Instructed by the antiquary times, 
    He must, he is, he cannot but be wise: 
    Put pardon, father Nestor, were your days 1475
    As green as Ajax' and your brain so temper'd, 
    You should not have the eminence of him, 
    But be as Ajax.
  • AjaxShall I call you father?
  • NestorAy, my good son.1480
  • UlyssesThere is no tarrying here; the hart Achilles 
    Keeps thicket. Please it our great general 
    To call together all his state of war; 
    Fresh kings are come to Troy: to-morrow 1485
    We must with all our main of power stand fast: 
    And here's a lord,"”come knights from east to west, 
    And cull their flower, Ajax shall cope the best.
  • AgamemnonGo we to council. Let Achilles sleep: 
    Light boats sail swift, though greater hulks draw deep.1490

[Exeunt]

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I urge anyone reading this play to acquire the Oxford Edition edited by Kenneth Muir.
 
The reason is that no original text of the 1602 play has ever been found, and what is known as the "First Quarto" was published in 1609, and even that was not anything definitive.
 
Piecing together "Troilus and Cressida" was a project of monumental scope, and you simply cannot buy just any old edition - the foreword in the Oxford Edition is something like 50 pages long, and goes in depth into all the work they did, selecting the very best fits, passage-by-passage, even word-by-word, citing the references for them, and explaining why they did what they did. It is a remarkable piece of scholarly work - it would also be unfathomably boring to read, but it's nice to know the world's leading experts took the time to scrutinize this play, word-for-word, coming up with *the* best choices, and explaining their rationale for choosing them. God only knows how many tens of thousands of hours of labor went into this.
 
Here's an example. In Act 2, Scene 3, Thersites is being his edgy, sardonic self, and comes up with what I believe is the absolute funniest moment in the scene. In giving his opinions of the Greek commanders (whom he's standing there talking with), the dialogue is as follows:

  • ThersitesI'll decline the whole question. Agamemnon commands 1265
    Achilles; Achilles is my lord; I am Patroclus' 
    knower, and Patroclus is a fool.
  • AchillesHe is a privileged man. Proceed, Thersites.1270
  • ThersitesAgamemnon is a fool; Achilles is a fool; Thersites 
    is a fool, and, as aforesaid, Patroclus is a fool.
  • ThersitesAgamemnon is a fool to offer to command Achilles; 
    Achilles is a fool to be commanded of Agamemnon; 
    Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool, and 
    Patroclus is a fool positive.
  • ThersitesMake that demand of thy Creator.

That is some seriously funny stuff. However, in line 1279 of the version I'm copying into this post, the final two words are changed into something much less funny (have a look up above). You could almost gloss over it without having a chuckle. On the page notes, the Oxford Edition writes several sentences as to why they chose "thy Creator" instead of "the prover," and it just works *so* much better - it's so much more modern and funny.
 
So go out of your way to get the Oxford Edition if you can find it. It's little things like this that make the difference between "good" and "great." I'm only fully realizing this as I'm getting deeper into the play.

(And I suspect "prover" is of the same sense as "Aberdeen Proving Ground," just off Exit 85 on I-95 in Maryland.)

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Act III, Scene 1

Troy. Priam's palace.

       

long_line.gif

[Enter a Servant and PANDARUS]

  • PandarusFriend, you! pray you, a word: do not you follow 
    the young Lord Paris?
  • ServantAy, sir, when he goes before me.1495
  • PandarusYou depend upon him, I mean?
  • ServantSir, I do depend upon the lord.
  • PandarusYou depend upon a noble gentleman; I must needs 
    praise him.
  • ServantThe lord be praised!1500
  • ServantFaith, sir, superficially.
  • PandarusFriend, know me better; I am the Lord Pandarus.
  • ServantI hope I shall know your honour better.
  • ServantYou are in the state of grace.
  • PandarusGrace! not so, friend: honour and lordship are my titles. 
    [Music within] 
    What music is this?
  • ServantI do but partly know, sir: it is music in parts.1510
  • PandarusAt whose pleasure, friend1515
  • ServantAt mine, sir, and theirs that love music.
  • ServantWho shall I command, sir?
  • PandarusFriend, we understand not one another: I am too 
    courtly and thou art too cunning. At whose request 1520
    do these men play?
  • ServantThat's to 't indeed, sir: marry, sir, at the request 
    of Paris my lord, who's there in person; with him, 
    the mortal Venus, the heart-blood of beauty, love's 
    invisible soul,"”1525
  • ServantNo, sir, Helen: could you not find out that by her 
    attributes?
  • PandarusIt should seem, fellow, that thou hast not seen the 
    Lady Cressida. I come to speak with Paris from the 1530
    Prince Troilus: I will make a complimental assault 
    upon him, for my business seethes.
  • ServantSodden business! there's a stewed phrase indeed!

[Enter PARIS and HELEN, attended]

  • PandarusFair be to you, my lord, and to all this fair 1535
    company! fair desires, in all fair measure, 
    fairly guide them! especially to you, fair queen! 
    fair thoughts be your fair pillow!
  • HelenDear lord, you are full of fair words.
  • PandarusYou speak your fair pleasure, sweet queen. Fair 1540
    prince, here is good broken music.
  • ParisYou have broke it, cousin: and, by my life, you 
    shall make it whole again; you shall piece it out 
    with a piece of your performance. Nell, he is full 
    of harmony.1545
  • PandarusRude, in sooth; in good sooth, very rude.
  • ParisWell said, my lord! well, you say so in fits.
  • PandarusI have business to my lord, dear queen. My lord, 1550
    will you vouchsafe me a word?
  • HelenNay, this shall not hedge us out: we'll hear you 
    sing, certainly.
  • PandarusWell, sweet queen. you are pleasant with me. But, 
    marry, thus, my lord: my dear lord and most esteemed 1555
    friend, your brother Troilus,"”
  • HelenMy Lord Pandarus; honey-sweet lord,"”
  • PandarusGo to, sweet queen, to go:"”commends himself most 
    affectionately to you,"”
  • HelenYou shall not bob us out of our melody: if you do, 1560
    our melancholy upon your head!
  • PandarusSweet queen, sweet queen! that's a sweet queen, i' faith.
  • HelenAnd to make a sweet lady sad is a sour offence.
  • PandarusNay, that shall not serve your turn; that shall not, 
    in truth, la. Nay, I care not for such words; no, 1565
    no. And, my lord, he desires you, that if the king 
    call for him at supper, you will make his excuse.
  • HelenMy Lord Pandarus,"”
  • PandarusWhat says my sweet queen, my very very sweet queen?
  • ParisWhat exploit's in hand? where sups he to-night?1570
  • HelenNay, but, my lord,"”
  • PandarusWhat says my sweet queen? My cousin will fall out 
    with you. You must not know where he sups.
  • ParisI'll lay my life, with my disposer Cressida.
  • PandarusNo, no, no such matter; you are wide: come, your 1575
    disposer is sick.
  • ParisWell, I'll make excuse.
  • PandarusAy, good my lord. Why should you say Cressida? no, 
    your poor disposer's sick.
  • PandarusYou spy! what do you spy? Come, give me an 
    instrument. Now, sweet queen.
  • HelenWhy, this is kindly done.
  • PandarusMy niece is horribly in love with a thing you have, 
    sweet queen.1585
  • HelenShe shall have it, my lord, if it be not my lord Paris.
  • PandarusHe! no, she'll none of him; they two are twain.
  • HelenFalling in, after falling out, may make them three.
  • PandarusCome, come, I'll hear no more of this; I'll sing 
    you a song now.1590
  • HelenAy, ay, prithee now. By my troth, sweet lord, thou 
    hast a fine forehead.
  • HelenLet thy song be love: this love will undo us all. 
    O Cupid, Cupid, Cupid!1595
  • PandarusLove! ay, that it shall, i' faith.
  • ParisAy, good now, love, love, nothing but love.
  • PandarusIn good troth, it begins so. 
    [sings] 
    Love, love, nothing but love, still more! 1600
    For, O, love's bow 
    Shoots buck and doe: 
    The shaft confounds, 
    Not that it wounds, 
    But tickles still the sore. 1605
    These lovers cry Oh! oh! they die! 
    Yet that which seems the wound to kill, 
    Doth turn oh! oh! to ha! ha! he! 
    So dying love lives still: 
    Oh! oh! a while, but ha! ha! ha! 1610
    Oh! oh! groans out for ha! ha! ha! 
    Heigh-ho!
  • HelenIn love, i' faith, to the very tip of the nose.
  • ParisHe eats nothing but doves, love, and that breeds hot 
    blood, and hot blood begets hot thoughts, and hot 1615
    thoughts beget hot deeds, and hot deeds is love.
  • PandarusIs this the generation of love? hot blood, hot 
    thoughts, and hot deeds? Why, they are vipers: 
    is love a generation of vipers? Sweet lord, who's 
    a-field to-day?1620
  • ParisHector, Deiphobus, Helenus, Antenor, and all the 
    gallantry of Troy: I would fain have armed to-day, 
    but my Nell would not have it so. How chance my 
    brother Troilus went not?
  • HelenHe hangs the lip at something: you know all, Lord Pandarus.1625
  • PandarusNot I, honey-sweet queen. I long to hear how they 
    sped to-day. You'll remember your brother's excuse?
  • HelenCommend me to your niece.1630

[Exit]

[A retreat sounded]

  • ParisThey're come from field: let us to Priam's hall, 
    To greet the warriors. Sweet Helen, I must woo you 1635
    To help unarm our Hector: his stubborn buckles, 
    With these your white enchanting fingers touch'd, 
    Shall more obey than to the edge of steel 
    Or force of Greekish sinews; you shall do more 
    Than all the island kings,"”disarm great Hector.1640
  • Helen'Twill make us proud to be his servant, Paris; 
    Yea, what he shall receive of us in duty 
    Gives us more palm in beauty than we have, 
    Yea, overshines ourself.
  • ParisSweet, above thought I love thee.1645

[Exeunt]

 

 
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I purchased my book in London in 2003, and began it about ten times before putting it down each time, and Act 3, Scene 1 is one of the reasons why. In my book, there are dog-ears on every page of this short chapter. Each time, it went something like this: I'd read a few sentences, fold the page, put the book down. Pick it up a few days later, read a few lines, say "I can't do it," fold the page, put the book down, etc.

I'm going to break down and read a plot summary for this scene because I just don't understand why it exists. It's boring, it's filler, and it's exit material, at least it has been for me in the past. I finished it this time, but I didn't like it.

I would be delighted to hear someone who appreciates this scene more than I do discuss it in depth.

Here's a plot synopsis written in a modern voice. <--- This isn't a bad website to visit to take some of the tedium out of the play.

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I don't see any meat in this scene. It seemed to me like nothing more than a bit of "comic" relief about the pandering of Pandarus.

I think if you saw a live performance of this scene, the music would enhance it. Aside from that, unless someone out there sees something that we both missed (which is entirely possible) I say, let's move on!

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I don't see any meat in this scene. It seemed to me like nothing more than a bit of "comic" relief about the pandering of Pandarus.

I think if you saw a live performance of this scene, the music would enhance it. Aside from that, unless someone out there sees something that we both missed (which is entirely possible) I say, let's move on!

You could make a solid case for Pandarus having laid the foundation for the entirety of punk rock with the last line of his song (line 1612), in which case this would be one of the most culturally relevant scenes Shakespeare ever wrote.

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Act III, Scene 2

The same. Pandarus' orchard.

       

long_line.gif

[Enter PANDARUS and Troilus's Boy, meeting]

  • PandarusHow now! where's thy master? at my cousin 
    Cressida's?
  • BoyNo, sir; he stays for you to conduct him thither.1650
  • PandarusO, here he comes. 
    [Enter TROILUS] 
    How now, how now!

[Exit Boy]

  • TroilusNo, Pandarus: I stalk about her door, 
    Like a strange soul upon the Stygian banks 
    Staying for waftage. O, be thou my Charon, 
    And give me swift transportance to those fields 1660
    Where I may wallow in the lily-beds 
    Proposed for the deserver! O gentle Pandarus, 
    From Cupid's shoulder pluck his painted wings 
    And fly with me to Cressid!
  • PandarusWalk here i' the orchard, I'll bring her straight.1665

[Exit]

  • TroilusI am giddy; expectation whirls me round. 
    The imaginary relish is so sweet 
    That it enchants my sense: what will it be, 
    When that the watery palate tastes indeed 1670
    Love's thrice repured nectar? death, I fear me, 
    Swooning destruction, or some joy too fine, 
    Too subtle-potent, tuned too sharp in sweetness, 
    For the capacity of my ruder powers: 
    I fear it much; and I do fear besides, 1675
    That I shall lose distinction in my joys; 
    As doth a battle, when they charge on heaps 
    The enemy flying.

[Re-enter PANDARUS]

  • PandarusShe's making her ready, she'll come straight: you 1680
    must be witty now. She does so blush, and fetches 
    her wind so short, as if she were frayed with a 
    sprite: I'll fetch her. It is the prettiest 
    villain: she fetches her breath as short as a 
    new-ta'en sparrow.1685

[Exit]

  • TroilusEven such a passion doth embrace my bosom: 
    My heart beats thicker than a feverous pulse; 
    And all my powers do their bestowing lose, 
    Like vassalage at unawares encountering 1690
    The eye of majesty.

[Re-enter PANDARUS with CRESSIDA]

  • PandarusCome, come, what need you blush? shame's a baby. 
    Here she is now: swear the oaths now to her that 
    you have sworn to me. What, are you gone again? 1695
    you must be watched ere you be made tame, must you? 
    Come your ways, come your ways; an you draw backward, 
    we'll put you i' the fills. Why do you not speak to 
    her? Come, draw this curtain, and let's see your 
    picture. Alas the day, how loath you are to offend 1700
    daylight! an 'twere dark, you'ld close sooner. 
    So, so; rub on, and kiss the mistress. How now! 
    a kiss in fee-farm! build there, carpenter; the air 
    is sweet. Nay, you shall fight your hearts out ere 
    I part you. The falcon as the tercel, for all the 1705
    ducks i' the river: go to, go to.
  • TroilusYou have bereft me of all words, lady.
  • PandarusWords pay no debts, give her deeds: but she'll 
    bereave you o' the deeds too, if she call your 
    activity in question. What, billing again? Here's 1710
    'In witness whereof the parties interchangeably'"” 
    Come in, come in: I'll go get a fire.

[Exit]

  • TroilusO Cressida, how often have I wished me thus!1715
  • CressidaWished, my lord! The gods grant,"”O my lord!
  • TroilusWhat should they grant? what makes this pretty 
    abruption? What too curious dreg espies my sweet 
    lady in the fountain of our love?
  • CressidaMore dregs than water, if my fears have eyes.1720
  • TroilusFears make devils of cherubims; they never see truly.
  • CressidaBlind fear, that seeing reason leads, finds safer 
    footing than blind reason stumbling without fear: to 
    fear the worst oft cures the worse.
  • TroilusO, let my lady apprehend no fear: in all Cupid's 1725
    pageant there is presented no monster.
  • CressidaNor nothing monstrous neither?
  • TroilusNothing, but our undertakings; when we vow to weep 
    seas, live in fire, eat rocks, tame tigers; thinking 
    it harder for our mistress to devise imposition 1730
    enough than for us to undergo any difficulty imposed. 
    This is the monstruosity in love, lady, that the will 
    is infinite and the execution confined, that the 
    desire is boundless and the act a slave to limit.
  • CressidaThey say all lovers swear more performance than they 1735
    are able and yet reserve an ability that they never 
    perform, vowing more than the perfection of ten and 
    discharging less than the tenth part of one. They 
    that have the voice of lions and the act of hares, 
    are they not monsters?1740
  • TroilusAre there such? such are not we: praise us as we 
    are tasted, allow us as we prove; our head shall go 
    bare till merit crown it: no perfection in reversion 
    shall have a praise in present: we will not name 
    desert before his birth, and, being born, his addition 1745
    shall be humble. Few words to fair faith: Troilus 
    shall be such to Cressid as what envy can say worst 
    shall be a mock for his truth, and what truth can 
    speak truest not truer than Troilus.
  • CressidaWill you walk in, my lord?1750

[Re-enter PANDARUS]

  • PandarusWhat, blushing still? have you not done talking yet?
  • CressidaWell, uncle, what folly I commit, I dedicate to you.
  • PandarusI thank you for that: if my lord get a boy of you, 
    you'll give him me. Be true to my lord: if he 1755
    flinch, chide me for it.
  • TroilusYou know now your hostages; your uncle's word and my 
    firm faith.
  • PandarusNay, I'll give my word for her too: our kindred, 
    though they be long ere they are wooed, they are 1760
    constant being won: they are burs, I can tell you; 
    they'll stick where they are thrown.
  • CressidaBoldness comes to me now, and brings me heart. 
    Prince Troilus, I have loved you night and day 
    For many weary months.1765
  • TroilusWhy was my Cressid then so hard to win?
  • CressidaHard to seem won: but I was won, my lord, 
    With the first glance that ever"”pardon me"” 
    If I confess much, you will play the tyrant. 
    I love you now; but not, till now, so much 1770
    But I might master it: in faith, I lie; 
    My thoughts were like unbridled children, grown 
    Too headstrong for their mother. See, we fools! 
    Why have I blabb'd? who shall be true to us, 
    When we are so unsecret to ourselves? 1775
    But, though I loved you well, I woo'd you not; 
    And yet, good faith, I wish'd myself a man, 
    Or that we women had men's privilege 
    Of speaking first. Sweet, bid me hold my tongue, 
    For in this rapture I shall surely speak 1780
    The thing I shall repent. See, see, your silence, 
    Cunning in dumbness, from my weakness draws 
    My very soul of counsel! stop my mouth.
  • TroilusAnd shall, albeit sweet music issues thence.
  • CressidaMy lord, I do beseech you, pardon me; 
    'Twas not my purpose, thus to beg a kiss: 
    I am ashamed. O heavens! what have I done? 
    For this time will I take my leave, my lord.
  • TroilusYour leave, sweet Cressid!1790
  • PandarusLeave! an you take leave till to-morrow morning,"”
  • TroilusWhat offends you, lady?
  • TroilusYou cannot shun Yourself.1795
  • CressidaLet me go and try: 
    I have a kind of self resides with you; 
    But an unkind self, that itself will leave, 
    To be another's fool. I would be gone: 
    Where is my wit? I know not what I speak.1800
  • TroilusWell know they what they speak that speak so wisely.
  • CressidaPerchance, my lord, I show more craft than love; 
    And fell so roundly to a large confession, 
    To angle for your thoughts: but you are wise, 
    Or else you love not, for to be wise and love 1805
    Exceeds man's might; that dwells with gods above.
  • TroilusO that I thought it could be in a woman"” 
    As, if it can, I will presume in you"” 
    To feed for aye her ramp and flames of love; 
    To keep her constancy in plight and youth, 1810
    Outliving beauty's outward, with a mind 
    That doth renew swifter than blood decays! 
    Or that persuasion could but thus convince me, 
    That my integrity and truth to you 
    Might be affronted with the match and weight 1815
    Of such a winnow'd purity in love; 
    How were I then uplifted! but, alas! 
    I am as true as truth's simplicity 
    And simpler than the infancy of truth.
  • CressidaIn that I'll war with you.1820
  • TroilusO virtuous fight, 
    When right with right wars who shall be most right! 
    True swains in love shall in the world to come 
    Approve their truths by Troilus: when their rhymes, 
    Full of protest, of oath and big compare, 1825
    Want similes, truth tired with iteration, 
    As true as steel, as plantage to the moon, 
    As sun to day, as turtle to her mate, 
    As iron to adamant, as earth to the centre, 
    Yet, after all comparisons of truth, 1830
    As truth's authentic author to be cited, 
    'As true as Troilus' shall crown up the verse, 
    And sanctify the numbers.
  • CressidaProphet may you be! 
    If I be false, or swerve a hair from truth, 1835
    When time is old and hath forgot itself, 
    When waterdrops have worn the stones of Troy, 
    And blind oblivion swallow'd cities up, 
    And mighty states characterless are grated 
    To dusty nothing, yet let memory, 1840
    From false to false, among false maids in love, 
    Upbraid my falsehood! when they've said 'as false 
    As air, as water, wind, or sandy earth, 
    As fox to lamb, as wolf to heifer's calf, 
    Pard to the hind, or stepdame to her son,' 1845
    'Yea,' let them say, to stick the heart of falsehood, 
    'As false as Cressid.'
  • PandarusGo to, a bargain made: seal it, seal it; I'll be the 
    witness. Here I hold your hand, here my cousin's. 
    If ever you prove false one to another, since I have 1850
    taken such pains to bring you together, let all 
    pitiful goers-between be called to the world's end 
    after my name; call them all Pandars; let all 
    constant men be Troiluses, all false women Cressids, 
    and all brokers-between Pandars! say, amen.1855
  • PandarusAmen. Whereupon I will show you a chamber with a 
    bed; which bed, because it shall not speak of your 
    pretty encounters, press it to death: away! 1860
    And Cupid grant all tongue-tied maidens here 
    Bed, chamber, Pandar to provide this gear!

[Exeunt]

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You could make a solid case for Pandarus having laid the foundation for the entirety of punk rock with the last line of his song (line 1612), in which case this would be one of the most culturally relevant scenes Shakespeare ever wrote.

:angry: Humorless twits.

---

Unlike 3.1, 3.2 is a wonderful scene, and made more so because I had just read Jonathan Franzen's review of Runaway in which he stresses that Alice Munro is about 'people, people, people.'

3.2 had the most Munrovian character development of any scene so far in Troilus and Cressida (and yes I am comparing the two right now).

And, assuming that Pandarus is the origin of the verb "to pander" (and I believe he is), then by definition, that word didn't exist until sometime after this play came out. Essentially, Shakespeare did what I've never seen done before: He controlled and commanded what was to occur in the future (in real life, not in the play) by saying this:

  • PandarusGo to, a bargain made: seal it, seal it; I'll be the 

    witness. Here I hold your hand, here my cousin's.

    If ever you prove false one to another, since I have 1850

    taken such pains to bring you together, let all

    pitiful goers-between be called to the world's end

    after my name; call them all Pandars; let all

    constant men be Troiluses, all false women Cressids,

    and all brokers-between Pandars! say, amen.1855

This was an authorial feat of such epic proportions that I don't even know what to call it.

Also, the importance of this scene cannot be overstated, as it's the first time Troilus and Cressida are together onstage, their chemistry is established, and the reader is taken another level deeper into both of their minds.

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Finally, the two lovers are on stage together! Its about time!

It's interesting that you compare this scene to Munro. Cressida's self-conscious ramblings are similar to the thoughts that run through the minds of Munro's characters.

But, though I loved you well, I woo'd you not;

And yet, good faith, I wish'd myself a man, 
Or that we women had men's privilege 
Of speaking first. Sweet, bid me hold my tongue, 
For in this rapture I shall surely speak 1780
The thing I shall repent. See, see, your silence, 
Cunning in dumbness, from my weakness draws 

My very soul of counsel! stop my mouth.

Cressida wants Troilus to know she has been thinking about him, but then she chastises herself for revealing too much. Munro's characters frequently were at odds with how they felt and how they felt society expected them to behave.

From everything I have read, the current meaning of the word pander did originate with Pandarus, so that definitely is something worth noting.

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Act III, Scene 3

The Grecian camp. Before Achilles' tent.

       

[Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, DIOMEDES, NESTOR, AJAX,] [p]MENELAUS, and CALCHAS]

  • CalchasNow, princes, for the service I have done you, 
    The advantage of the time prompts me aloud 
    To call for recompense. Appear it to your mind 
    That, through the sight I bear in things to love, 
    I have abandon'd Troy, left my possession, 1870
    Incurr'd a traitor's name; exposed myself, 
    From certain and possess'd conveniences, 
    To doubtful fortunes; sequestering from me all 
    That time, acquaintance, custom and condition 
    Made tame and most familiar to my nature, 1875
    And here, to do you service, am become 
    As new into the world, strange, unacquainted: 
    I do beseech you, as in way of taste, 
    To give me now a little benefit, 
    Out of those many register'd in promise, 1880
    Which, you say, live to come in my behalf.
  • AgamemnonWhat wouldst thou of us, Trojan? make demand.
  • CalchasYou have a Trojan prisoner, call'd Antenor, 
    Yesterday took: Troy holds him very dear. 
    Oft have you"”often have you thanks therefore"” 1885
    Desired my Cressid in right great exchange, 
    Whom Troy hath still denied: but this Antenor, 
    I know, is such a wrest in their affairs 
    That their negotiations all must slack, 
    Wanting his manage; and they will almost 1890
    Give us a prince of blood, a son of Priam, 
    In change of him: let him be sent, great princes, 
    And he shall buy my daughter; and her presence 
    Shall quite strike off all service I have done, 
    In most accepted pain.1895
  • AgamemnonLet Diomedes bear him, 
    And bring us Cressid hither: Calchas shall have 
    What he requests of us. Good Diomed, 
    Furnish you fairly for this interchange: 
    Withal bring word if Hector will to-morrow 1900
    Be answer'd in his challenge: Ajax is ready.
  • DiomedesThis shall I undertake; and 'tis a burden 
    Which I am proud to bear.

[Exeunt DIOMEDES and CALCHAS]

[Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS, before their tent]

  • UlyssesAchilles stands i' the entrance of his tent: 
    Please it our general to pass strangely by him, 
    As if he were forgot; and, princes all, 
    Lay negligent and loose regard upon him: 
    I will come last. 'Tis like he'll question me 1910
    Why such unplausive eyes are bent on him: 
    If so, I have derision medicinable, 
    To use between your strangeness and his pride, 
    Which his own will shall have desire to drink: 
    It may be good: pride hath no other glass 1915
    To show itself but pride, for supple knees 
    Feed arrogance and are the proud man's fees.
  • AgamemnonWe'll execute your purpose, and put on 
    A form of strangeness as we pass along: 
    So do each lord, and either greet him not, 1920
    Or else disdainfully, which shall shake him more 
    Than if not look'd on. I will lead the way.
  • AchillesWhat, comes the general to speak with me? 
    You know my mind, I'll fight no more 'gainst Troy.
  • AgamemnonWhat says Achilles? would he aught with us?1925
  • NestorWould you, my lord, aught with the general?

[Exeunt AGAMEMNON and NESTOR]

[Exit]

  • AchillesWhat, does the cuckold scorn me?
  • AjaxHow now, Patroclus!1935
  • AjaxAy, and good next day too.

[Exit]

  • AchillesWhat mean these fellows? Know they not Achilles?
  • PatroclusThey pass by strangely: they were used to bend 
    To send their smiles before them to Achilles; 
    To come as humbly as they used to creep 
    To holy altars.1945
  • AchillesWhat, am I poor of late? 
    'Tis certain, greatness, once fall'n out with fortune, 
    Must fall out with men too: what the declined is 
    He shall as soon read in the eyes of others 
    As feel in his own fall; for men, like butterflies, 1950
    Show not their mealy wings but to the summer, 
    And not a man, for being simply man, 
    Hath any honour, but honour for those honours 
    That are without him, as place, riches, favour, 
    Prizes of accident as oft as merit: 1955
    Which when they fall, as being slippery standers, 
    The love that lean'd on them as slippery too, 
    Do one pluck down another and together 
    Die in the fall. But 'tis not so with me: 
    Fortune and I are friends: I do enjoy 1960
    At ample point all that I did possess, 
    Save these men's looks; who do, methinks, find out 
    Something not worth in me such rich beholding 
    As they have often given. Here is Ulysses; 
    I'll interrupt his reading. 1965
    How now Ulysses!
  • UlyssesA strange fellow here 
    Writes me: 'That man, how dearly ever parted, 1970
    How much in having, or without or in, 
    Cannot make boast to have that which he hath, 
    Nor feels not what he owes, but by reflection; 
    As when his virtues shining upon others 
    Heat them and they retort that heat again 1975
    To the first giver.'
  • AchillesThis is not strange, Ulysses. 
    The beauty that is borne here in the face 
    The bearer knows not, but commends itself 
    To others' eyes; nor doth the eye itself, 1980
    That most pure spirit of sense, behold itself, 
    Not going from itself; but eye to eye opposed 
    Salutes each other with each other's form; 
    For speculation turns not to itself, 
    Till it hath travell'd and is mirror'd there 1985
    Where it may see itself. This is not strange at all.
  • UlyssesI do not strain at the position,"” 
    It is familiar,"”but at the author's drift; 
    Who, in his circumstance, expressly proves 
    That no man is the lord of any thing, 1990
    Though in and of him there be much consisting, 
    Till he communicate his parts to others: 
    Nor doth he of himself know them for aught 
    Till he behold them form'd in the applause 
    Where they're extended; who, like an arch, 1995
    reverberates 
    The voice again, or, like a gate of steel 
    Fronting the sun, receives and renders back 
    His figure and his heat. I was much wrapt in this; 
    And apprehended here immediately 2000
    The unknown Ajax. 
    Heavens, what a man is there! a very horse, 
    That has he knows not what. Nature, what things there are 
    Most abject in regard and dear in use! 
    What things again most dear in the esteem 2005
    And poor in worth! Now shall we see to-morrow"” 
    An act that very chance doth throw upon him"” 
    Ajax renown'd. O heavens, what some men do, 
    While some men leave to do! 
    How some men creep in skittish fortune's hall, 2010
    Whiles others play the idiots in her eyes! 
    How one man eats into another's pride, 
    While pride is fasting in his wantonness! 
    To see these Grecian lords!"”why, even already 
    They clap the lubber Ajax on the shoulder, 2015
    As if his foot were on brave Hector's breast 
    And great Troy shrieking.
  • AchillesI do believe it; for they pass'd by me 
    As misers do by beggars, neither gave to me 
    Good word nor look: what, are my deeds forgot?2020
  • UlyssesTime hath, my lord, a wallet at his back, 
    Wherein he puts alms for oblivion, 
    A great-sized monster of ingratitudes: 
    Those scraps are good deeds past; which are devour'd 
    As fast as they are made, forgot as soon 2025
    As done: perseverance, dear my lord, 
    Keeps honour bright: to have done is to hang 
    Quite out of fashion, like a rusty mail 
    In monumental mockery. Take the instant way; 
    For honour travels in a strait so narrow, 2030
    Where one but goes abreast: keep then the path; 
    For emulation hath a thousand sons 
    That one by one pursue: if you give way, 
    Or hedge aside from the direct forthright, 
    Like to an enter'd tide, they all rush by 2035
    And leave you hindmost; 
    Or like a gallant horse fall'n in first rank, 
    Lie there for pavement to the abject rear, 
    O'er-run and trampled on: then what they do in present, 
    Though less than yours in past, must o'ertop yours; 2040
    For time is like a fashionable host 
    That slightly shakes his parting guest by the hand, 
    And with his arms outstretch'd, as he would fly, 
    Grasps in the comer: welcome ever smiles, 
    And farewell goes out sighing. O, let not 2045
    virtue seek 
    Remuneration for the thing it was; 
    For beauty, wit, 
    High birth, vigour of bone, desert in service, 
    Love, friendship, charity, are subjects all 2050
    To envious and calumniating time. 
    One touch of nature makes the whole world kin, 
    That all with one consent praise new-born gawds, 
    Though they are made and moulded of things past, 
    And give to dust that is a little gilt 2055
    More laud than gilt o'er-dusted. 
    The present eye praises the present object. 
    Then marvel not, thou great and complete man, 
    That all the Greeks begin to worship Ajax; 
    Since things in motion sooner catch the eye 2060
    Than what not stirs. The cry went once on thee, 
    And still it might, and yet it may again, 
    If thou wouldst not entomb thyself alive 
    And case thy reputation in thy tent; 
    Whose glorious deeds, but in these fields of late, 2065
    Made emulous missions 'mongst the gods themselves 
    And drave great Mars to faction.
  • AchillesOf this my privacy 
    I have strong reasons.
  • UlyssesBut 'gainst your privacy 2070
    The reasons are more potent and heroical: 
    'Tis known, Achilles, that you are in love 
    With one of Priam's daughters.
  • UlyssesIs that a wonder? 2075
    The providence that's in a watchful state 
    Knows almost every grain of Plutus' gold, 
    Finds bottom in the uncomprehensive deeps, 
    Keeps place with thought and almost, like the gods, 
    Does thoughts unveil in their dumb cradles. 2080
    There is a mystery"”with whom relation 
    Durst never meddle"”in the soul of state; 
    Which hath an operation more divine 
    Than breath or pen can give expressure to: 
    All the commerce that you have had with Troy 2085
    As perfectly is ours as yours, my lord; 
    And better would it fit Achilles much 
    To throw down Hector than Polyxena: 
    But it must grieve young Pyrrhus now at home, 
    When fame shall in our islands sound her trump, 2090
    And all the Greekish girls shall tripping sing, 
    'Great Hector's sister did Achilles win, 
    But our great Ajax bravely beat down him.' 
    Farewell, my lord: I as your lover speak; 
    The fool slides o'er the ice that you should break.2095

[Exit]

  • PatroclusTo this effect, Achilles, have I moved you: 
    A woman impudent and mannish grown 
    Is not more loathed than an effeminate man 
    In time of action. I stand condemn'd for this; 2100
    They think my little stomach to the war 
    And your great love to me restrains you thus: 
    Sweet, rouse yourself; and the weak wanton Cupid 
    Shall from your neck unloose his amorous fold, 
    And, like a dew-drop from the lion's mane, 2105
    Be shook to air.
  • AchillesShall Ajax fight with Hector?
  • PatroclusAy, and perhaps receive much honour by him.
  • AchillesI see my reputation is at stake 
    My fame is shrewdly gored.2110
  • PatroclusO, then, beware; 
    Those wounds heal ill that men do give themselves: 
    Omission to do what is necessary 
    Seals a commission to a blank of danger; 
    And danger, like an ague, subtly taints 2115
    Even then when we sit idly in the sun.
  • AchillesGo call Thersites hither, sweet Patroclus: 
    I'll send the fool to Ajax and desire him 
    To invite the Trojan lords after the combat 
    To see us here unarm'd: I have a woman's longing, 2120
    An appetite that I am sick withal, 
    To see great Hector in his weeds of peace, 
    To talk with him and to behold his visage, 
    Even to my full of view. 
    [Enter THERSITES] 2125
    A labour saved!
  • ThersitesAjax goes up and down the field, asking for himself.
  • ThersitesHe must fight singly to-morrow with Hector, and is so 
    prophetically proud of an heroical cudgelling that he 
    raves in saying nothing.
  • ThersitesWhy, he stalks up and down like a peacock,"”a stride 2135
    and a stand: ruminates like an hostess that hath no 
    arithmetic but her brain to set down her reckoning: 
    bites his lip with a politic regard, as who should 
    say 'There were wit in this head, an 'twould out;' 
    and so there is, but it lies as coldly in him as fire 2140
    in a flint, which will not show without knocking. 
    The man's undone forever; for if Hector break not his 
    neck i' the combat, he'll break 't himself in 
    vain-glory. He knows not me: I said 'Good morrow, 
    Ajax;' and he replies 'Thanks, Agamemnon.' What think 2145
    you of this man that takes me for the general? He's 
    grown a very land-fish, language-less, a monster. 
    A plague of opinion! a man may wear it on both 
    sides, like a leather jerkin.
  • AchillesThou must be my ambassador to him, Thersites.2150
  • ThersitesWho, I? why, he'll answer nobody; he professes not 
    answering: speaking is for beggars; he wears his 
    tongue in's arms. I will put on his presence: let 
    Patroclus make demands to me, you shall see the 
    pageant of Ajax.2155
  • AchillesTo him, Patroclus; tell him I humbly desire the 
    valiant Ajax to invite the most valorous Hector 
    to come unarmed to my tent, and to procure 
    safe-conduct for his person of the magnanimous 
    and most illustrious six-or-seven-times-honoured 2160
    captain-general of the Grecian army, Agamemnon, 
    et cetera. Do this.
  • PatroclusI come from the worthy Achilles,"”2165
  • PatroclusWho most humbly desires you to invite Hector to his tent,"”
  • PatroclusAnd to procure safe-conduct from Agamemnon.
  • ThersitesGod b' wi' you, with all my heart.
  • ThersitesIf to-morrow be a fair day, by eleven o'clock it will 
    go one way or other: howsoever, he shall pay for me 
    ere he has me.
  • ThersitesFare you well, with all my heart.2180
  • AchillesWhy, but he is not in this tune, is he?
  • ThersitesNo, but he's out o' tune thus. What music will be in 
    him when Hector has knocked out his brains, I know 
    not; but, I am sure, none, unless the fiddler Apollo 
    get his sinews to make catlings on.2185
  • AchillesCome, thou shalt bear a letter to him straight.
  • ThersitesLet me bear another to his horse; for that's the more 
    capable creature.
  • AchillesMy mind is troubled, like a fountain stirr'd; 
    And I myself see not the bottom of it.2190

[Exeunt ACHILLES and PATROCLUS]

  • ThersitesWould the fountain of your mind were clear again, 
    that I might water an ass at it! I had rather be a 
    tick in a sheep than such a valiant ignorance.

[Exit]

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I enjoyed this scene. I feel like we are getting into the meat of the play. This scene has humor, drama, foreshadowing and philosophical musings.

I liked Ulysses' speech about how a person cannot see himself until he gives to others and then his worth is reflected back through his actions. I enjoyed his thoughts on how people latch on to the latest thing, forgetting past good deeds and remembering whatever is attracting the most attention at the moment. I thought this speech was very applicable to our times.

I didn't like the way Cressida's father offered her up so quickly. I assumed he would have been badgered and tormented about it. Instead, he offered her up on a silver platter without even being asked.

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I enjoyed this scene. I feel like we are getting into the meat of the play. This scene has humor, drama, foreshadowing and philosophical musings.

I liked Ulysses' speech about how a person cannot see himself until he gives to others and then his worth is reflected back through his actions. I enjoyed his thoughts on how people latch on to the latest thing, forgetting past good deeds and remembering whatever is attracting the most attention at the moment. I thought this speech was very applicable to our times.

I didn't like the way Cressida's father offered her up so quickly. I assumed he would have been badgered and tormented about it. Instead, he offered her up on a silver platter without even being asked.

I loved Ulysses' speech, and also feel that it resonates very clearly in modern times - more than you might possibly imagine in the restaurant world, actually. Hence, the popularity of some very vacuous websites.

My favorite part of the speech (*) was in line 2049 - the word "desert" which can mean any of three things in this situation:

1) dessert (something sweet)

2) desert (an arid place)

3) desert (going AWOL)

I suspect that was done deliberately (it's also in my edition, and is brilliant).

Since you enjoyed the scene so much, maybe you can explain to me what in the heck the part with Thersites was all about - why does Achilles want Hector to come over for tea, and why did Patroclus end up doing the talking? I've read through it twice, and feel as dimwitted as, well, Ajax.

(*) Certain things stand out to certain people, and I suspect "desert" stood out to me and me only - this is why I want to have a general discussion, so others can share their unearthed treasures. This is not easy reading, and more of it escapes me than not (lines 2184-2185 are a perfect example: "catlings" are cat gut (used for musical instrument strings), and "Apollo" was obviously the Greek God of the Sun, but why him? (One of the nice things about copying the text online is the ability to search for terms - Apollo has been used four times so far.))

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Achilles has become a pacifist because of his love for Polyxena, king Priam's youngest daughter, and Troilus' sister. In Greek mythology, he tells her about his vulnerable heel, and he is killed by her brothers because of it.

I think Ulysses and Patroclus are appealing to Achilles' wounded ego to try to get him interested in the war instead of love. They are both playing up how beloved Ajax has become while he, Achilles, is being forgotten. Perhaps Achilles desire to sit peacefully with Hector shows how he is more interested in his Trojan love than winning the war.

As for the to reference Apollo, I think he was mentioned here because he is the god of music and poetry, and the lyre was supposedly created for him. It is interesting to note, however, that in Greek mythology, Achilles is ambushed and killed by Polxena's brothers at the temple of Apollo.

At line 2163 in my book, it says, in italics before the dialogue, {to Thersites who is playing Ajax,}. Then, at line 2180, it says, {he pretends to exit.} This exchange is a little play within the play in which Patroclus and Thersites poke fun at the dimwitted Ajax.

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My favorite part of the speech (*) was in line 2049 - the word "desert" which can mean any of three things in this situation:

1) dessert (something sweet)

2) desert (an arid place)

3) desert (going AWOL)

I suspect that was done deliberately (it's also in my edition, and is brilliant).

I did not notice this, and when I went back and read the passage, it seems to me like meaning number two makes the most sense, if this is a list of positive things for which a person should not seek remuneration. If it refers to military service in a desert, that would be something for which a person might expect adulation.

If he intended all three meanings, do you think Ulysses mentioned desert of service (definition number 3) as a subtle dig at Achilles' reluctance to fight?

and "Apollo" was obviously the Greek God of the Sun, but why him? (One of the nice things about copying the text online is the ability to search for terms - Apollo has been used four times so far.))

I know very little about Greek mythology, but some brief and limited research on the internet showed numerous connections between Achilles' and Troilus' deaths and Apollo.

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I did not notice this, and when I went back and read the passage, it seems to me like meaning number two makes the most sense, if this is a list of positive things for which a person should not seek remuneration. If it refers to military service in a desert, that would be something for which a person might expect adulation.

If he intended all three meanings, do you think Ulysses mentioned desert of service (definition number 3) as a subtle dig at Achilles' reluctance to fight?

See, if I had to choose only one, I might think 1) - dessert in service, i.e., takes pleasure in military service.

And I think 3) is a not-so-subtle dig at Achilles, absolutely.

As for Apollo, refer to Season 2, Episode 2. He even mentions Hector and Agamemnon. :)

I once read "Agamemnon" by Aeschylus - I need to figure out a way to tie these two plays together without going back and re-reading it.

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See, if I had to choose only one, I might think 1) - dessert in service, i.e., takes pleasure in military service.

And I think 3) is a not-so-subtle dig at Achilles, absolutely.

As for Apollo, refer to Season 2, Episode 2. He even mentions Hector and Agamemnon. :)

I once read "Agamemnon" by Aeschylus - I need to figure out a way to tie these two plays together without going back and re-reading it.

Ah, yes, I see your point about meaning one.

Leave it to you to find a Star Trek connection!  :)

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Act IV, Scene 1

Troy. A street.

[Enter, from one side, AENEAS, and Servant with a] [p]torch; from the other, PARIS, DEIPHOBUS, ANTENOR, [p]DIOMEDES, and others, with torches]

  • ParisSee, ho! who is that there?
  • AeneasIs the prince there in person? 
    Had I so good occasion to lie long 
    As you, prince Paris, nothing but heavenly business 
    Should rob my bed-mate of my company.
  • DiomedesThat's my mind too. Good morrow, Lord AEneas.2205
  • ParisA valiant Greek, AEneas,"”take his hand,"” 
    Witness the process of your speech, wherein 
    You told how Diomed, a whole week by days, 
    Did haunt you in the field.
  • AeneasHealth to you, valiant sir, 2210
    During all question of the gentle truce; 
    But when I meet you arm'd, as black defiance 
    As heart can think or courage execute.
  • DiomedesThe one and other Diomed embraces. 
    Our bloods are now in calm; and, so long, health! 2215
    But when contention and occasion meet, 
    By Jove, I'll play the hunter for thy life 
    With all my force, pursuit and policy.
  • AeneasAnd thou shalt hunt a lion, that will fly 
    With his face backward. In humane gentleness, 2220
    Welcome to Troy! now, by Anchises' life, 
    Welcome, indeed! By Venus' hand I swear, 
    No man alive can love in such a sort 
    The thing he means to kill more excellently.
  • DiomedesWe sympathize: Jove, let AEneas live, 2225
    If to my sword his fate be not the glory, 
    A thousand complete courses of the sun! 
    But, in mine emulous honour, let him die, 
    With every joint a wound, and that to-morrow!
  • AeneasWe know each other well.2230
  • DiomedesWe do; and long to know each other worse.
  • ParisThis is the most despiteful gentle greeting, 
    The noblest hateful love, that e'er I heard of. 
    What business, lord, so early?
  • AeneasI was sent for to the king; but why, I know not.2235
  • ParisHis purpose meets you: 'twas to bring this Greek 
    To Calchas' house, and there to render him, 
    For the enfreed Antenor, the fair Cressid: 
    Let's have your company, or, if you please, 
    Haste there before us: I constantly do think"” 2240
    Or rather, call my thought a certain knowledge"” 
    My brother Troilus lodges there to-night: 
    Rouse him and give him note of our approach. 
    With the whole quality wherefore: I fear 
    We shall be much unwelcome.2245
  • AeneasThat I assure you: 
    Troilus had rather Troy were borne to Greece 
    Than Cressid borne from Troy.
  • ParisThere is no help; 
    The bitter disposition of the time 2250
    Will have it so. On, lord; we'll follow you.

[Exit with Servant]

  • ParisAnd tell me, noble Diomed, faith, tell me true, 
    Even in the soul of sound good-fellowship, 2255
    Who, in your thoughts, merits fair Helen best, 
    Myself or Menelaus?
  • DiomedesBoth alike: 
    He merits well to have her, that doth seek her, 
    Not making any scruple of her soilure, 2260
    With such a hell of pain and world of charge, 
    And you as well to keep her, that defend her, 
    Not palating the taste of her dishonour, 
    With such a costly loss of wealth and friends: 
    He, like a puling cuckold, would drink up 2265
    The lees and dregs of a flat tamed piece; 
    You, like a lecher, out of whorish loins 
    Are pleased to breed out your inheritors: 
    Both merits poised, each weighs nor less nor more; 
    But he as he, the heavier for a whore.2270
  • ParisYou are too bitter to your countrywoman.
  • DiomedesShe's bitter to her country: hear me, Paris: 
    For every false drop in her bawdy veins 
    A Grecian's life hath sunk; for every scruple 
    Of her contaminated carrion weight, 2275
    A Trojan hath been slain: since she could speak, 
    She hath not given so many good words breath 
    As for her Greeks and Trojans suffer'd death.
  • ParisFair Diomed, you do as chapmen do, 
    Dispraise the thing th
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In Act IV, Scene 1, Diomedes says some things in lines 2258-2270 about Helen that will be just as irritating to the modern-day female as certain lines in Othello would be to a modern-day person of color. He is really brutal, and holds nothing back - I'm curious, DIShGo (or porcupine, if you're still with us), if you found this offensive.

This was just the scene I needed - three pages long, easy reading, and packed with plot advancement.

I didn't like the way Cressida's father offered her up so quickly. I assumed he would have been badgered and tormented about it. Instead, he offered her up on a silver platter without even being asked.

 

Going back to Act III Scene III, regarding Calchas offering up his daughter (Cressida) so easily to the Greeks, it's important to do a "Find" on the first occurrence of Calchas on this page, and to remember that he's a traitor, wants his daughter back, and wants her away from Troilus. So I'm not sure he's "offering her up to the Greeks" so much as "trying to get her back" since he's essentially banished from Troy forever.

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In Act IV, Scene 1, Diomedes says some things in lines 2258-2270 about Helen that will be just as irritating to the modern-day female as certain lines in Othello would be to a modern-day person of color. He is really brutal, and holds nothing back - I'm curious, DIShGo (or porcupine, if you're still with us), if you found this offensive.

This was just the scene I needed - three pages long, easy reading, and packed with plot advancement.

I found it shocking that Diomede spoke this way about the most beautiful woman in the world over whom a war was being waged. His language was extremely descriptive, to-the-point and offensive. While Helen took the brunt of it, he was harsh about Paris and Menelaus as well. I was surprised by Paris' calm reaction--that he didn't jump to defend Helen's honor or himself. Instead, he basically said, "You are just jealous because you can't have her."

Clearly Diomede's speech illustrates how fatigued the soldiers are of this war and that they blame Helen for it.

The way Diomede speaks about Helen, and the way that Helen and Cressida are seen in this play as "things" to be had, stolen and bartered with, makes me appreciate that I do not live in a society where such attitudes still exist, and sad for the women who do.

I enjoyed this scene, too. That's two in a row!

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Going back to Act III Scene III, regarding Calchas offering up his daughter (Cressida) so easily to the Greeks, it's important to do a "Find" on the first occurrence of Calchas on this page, and to remember that he's a traitor, wants his daughter back, and wants her away from Troilus. So I'm not sure he's "offering her up to the Greeks" so much as "trying to get her back" since he's essentially banished from Troy forever.

Thank you for clearing this up for me. I had forgotten about her father being banished from Troy. Remembering that makes his actions more understandable.

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Act IV, Scene 2

The same. Court of Pandarus' house.

[Enter TROILUS and CRESSIDA]

  • TroilusDear, trouble not yourself: the morn is cold.
  • CressidaThen, sweet my lord, I'll call mine uncle down; 
    He shall unbolt the gates.
  • TroilusTrouble him not; 
    To bed, to bed: sleep kill those pretty eyes, 2290
    And give as soft attachment to thy senses 
    As infants' empty of all thought!
  • TroilusO Cressida! but that the busy day, 
    Waked by the lark, hath roused the ribald crows, 
    And dreaming night will hide our joys no longer, 
    I would not from thee.
  • CressidaNight hath been too brief.2300
  • TroilusBeshrew the witch! with venomous wights she stays 
    As tediously as hell, but flies the grasps of love 
    With wings more momentary-swift than thought. 
    You will catch cold, and curse me.
  • CressidaPrithee, tarry: 2305
    You men will never tarry. 
    O foolish Cressid! I might have still held off, 
    And then you would have tarried. Hark! 
    there's one up.
  • Pandarus[Within] What, 's all the doors open here?2310
  • CressidaA pestilence on him! now will he be mocking: 
    I shall have such a life!

[Enter PANDARUS]

  • PandarusHow now, how now! how go maidenheads? Here, you 2315
    maid! where's my cousin Cressid?
  • CressidaGo hang yourself, you naughty mocking uncle! 
    You bring me to do, and then you flout me too.
  • PandarusTo do what? to do what? let her say 
    what: what have I brought you to do?2320
  • CressidaCome, come, beshrew your heart! you'll ne'er be good, 
    Nor suffer others.
  • PandarusHa! ha! Alas, poor wretch! ah, poor capocchia! 
    hast not slept to-night? would he not, a naughty 
    man, let it sleep? a bugbear take him!2325
  • CressidaDid not I tell you? Would he were knock'd i' the head! 
    [Knocking within] 
    Who's that at door? good uncle, go and see. 
    My lord, come you again into my chamber: 
    You smile and mock me, as if I meant naughtily.2330
  • CressidaCome, you are deceived, I think of no such thing. 
    [Knocking within] 
    How earnestly they knock! Pray you, come in: 
    I would not for half Troy have you seen here.2335

[Exeunt TROILUS and CRESSIDA]

  • PandarusWho's there? what's the matter? will you beat 
    down the door? How now! what's the matter?

[Enter AENEAS]

  • AeneasGood morrow, lord, good morrow.2340
  • PandarusWho's there? my Lord AEneas! By my troth, 
    I knew you not: what news with you so early?
  • AeneasIs not Prince Troilus here?
  • PandarusHere! what should he do here?
  • AeneasCome, he is here, my lord; do not deny him: 2345
    It doth import him much to speak with me.
  • PandarusIs he here, say you? 'tis more than I know, I'll 
    be sworn: for my own part, I came in late. What 
    should he do here?
  • AeneasWho!"”nay, then: come, come, you'll do him wrong 2350
    ere you're ware: you'll be so true to him, to be 
    false to him: do not you know of him, but yet go 
    fetch him hither; go.

[Re-enter TROILUS]

  • TroilusHow now! what's the matter?2355
  • AeneasMy lord, I scarce have leisure to salute you, 
    My matter is so rash: there is at hand 
    Paris your brother, and Deiphobus, 
    The Grecian Diomed, and our Antenor 
    Deliver'd to us; and for him forthwith, 2360
    Ere the first sacrifice, within this hour, 
    We must give up to Diomedes' hand 
    The Lady Cressida.
  • AeneasBy Priam and the general state of Troy: 2365
    They are at hand and ready to effect it.
  • TroilusHow my achievements mock me! 
    I will go meet them: and, my Lord AEneas, 
    We met by chance; you did not find me here.
  • AeneasGood, good, my lord; the secrets of nature 2370
    Have not more gift in taciturnity.

[Exeunt TROILUS and AENEAS]

  • PandarusIs't possible? no sooner got but lost? The devil 
    take Antenor! the young prince will go mad: a 
    plague upon Antenor! I would they had broke 's neck!2375

[Re-enter CRESSIDA]

  • CressidaHow now! what's the matter? who was here?
  • CressidaWhy sigh you so profoundly? where's my lord? gone! 
    Tell me, sweet uncle, what's the matter?2380
  • PandarusWould I were as deep under the earth as I am above!
  • CressidaO the gods! what's the matter?
  • PandarusPrithee, get thee in: would thou hadst ne'er been 
    born! I knew thou wouldst be his death. O, poor 
    gentleman! A plague upon Antenor!2385
  • CressidaGood uncle, I beseech you, on my knees! beseech you, 
    what's the matter?
  • PandarusThou must be gone, wench, thou must be gone; thou 
    art changed for Antenor: thou must to thy father, 
    and be gone from Troilus: 'twill be his death; 2390
    'twill be his bane; he cannot bear it.
  • CressidaO you immortal gods! I will not go.
  • CressidaI will not, uncle: I have forgot my father; 
    I know no touch of consanguinity; 2395
    No kin no love, no blood, no soul so near me 
    As the sweet Troilus. O you gods divine! 
    Make Cressid's name the very crown of falsehood, 
    If ever she leave Troilus! Time, force, and death, 
    Do to this body what extremes you can; 2400
    But the strong base and building of my love 
    Is as the very centre of the earth, 
    Drawing all things to it. I'll go in and weep,"”
  • CressidaTear my bright hair and scratch my praised cheeks, 2405
    Crack my clear voice with sobs and break my heart 
    With sounding Troilus. I will not go from Troy.

[Exeunt]

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Act IV Scene 2 is another super-easy, super-short scene that can be really considered "Part Two" of Act IV Scene 1. What was discussed in the first, is in the process of being executed in the second.

About the only noteworthy thing I can see in this scene is Cressida swearing (feigning?) her devotion to Troilus (after an obvious night of lustful debauchery), and from what little I know about what's coming up, that attitude is about to change very quickly - but the viewer doesn't know this yet.

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Act IV Scene 2 is another super-easy, super-short scene that can be really considered "Part Two" of Act IV Scene 1. What was discussed in the first, is in the process of being executed in the second.

About the only noteworthy thing I can see in this scene is Cressida swearing (feigning?) her devotion to Troilus (after an obvious night of lustful debauchery), and from what little I know about what's coming up, that attitude is about to change very quickly - but the viewer doesn't know this yet.

I found a couple other things worth noting here. First, I found it interesting that after their first night of lovemaking. Troilus can't seem to get out of there quickly enough to suit him. And that Cressida, once again, laments that she gave of herself too readily, and that if only she had held out, Troilus might be lying next to her, spooning.

When it is learned that she must leave Troy, Troilus seems more concerned with no one discovering he was there, enjoying a night of lustful debauchery, than with the fact that his "true love" is being sent away. Pandarus seems more upset by the news, but he acts more troubled by how it will affect Troilus than with the welfare of his niece. This is another example of how women were viewed as property at this time.

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About the only noteworthy thing I can see in this scene is Cressida swearing (feigning?) her devotion to Troilus (after an obvious night of lustful debauchery), and from what little I know about what's coming up, that attitude is about to change very quickly - but the viewer doesn't know this yet.

It would be interesting to know if the actresses playing the role of Cressida present her as flighty and vain or sweet and sincere. I wonder if the turn of events to come took viewers unfamiliar with the story by surprise.

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