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Hardee's, A St. Louis Chain Known Formerly Known for Breakfast Biscuits and "Charcoal-Broiled" Burgers


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I know it's The Onion, but...there *are* no Carl's Jr. in Virginia Beach.  There are *Hardee's*, which are supposed to be the same thing but *aren't* because the customer base for Carl's Jr. have more and better options available to them.  Hardee's, however, are checkered all over the South and are almost all universally shitty because people only eat there for the collectible NASCAR commemorative cups.  When my family lived in Virginia Beach and I still hadn't yet turned ten I had one within a ten minute bike ride's distance and *still* never went.

I mean, when you can't rely on a fake news website to do simple fact checking, you really know the world's going to hell.

Hardee's, at least down south, used to have good breakfast biscuits ("good" being a relative term, of course) - their steak biscuits were really not all that bad.

Most importantly, I've finally found a Hamburger restaurant to rank below Burger King in our Dining Guide.

They're currently boasting about serving *Velveeta* on their Bacon Cheeseburger on their home page:

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You think that's bad? In Tennessee, I've seen them advertising fried bologna velveeta biscuits.

Hey! Watch how you talk about fried baloney (what the hell is bologna?  Is that some sort of fancy-shmancy Northrun type thing?).  You're talking about a Suthrun tradition.  Ummm, ummm, fried baloney on Wonder Bread with some Hellmans (Miracle Whip means you're putting on airs).  Almost as good as samun samiches on Wonder Bread.

And what's with the title? "Known Formerly Known"... is that some kind of secret message or sumpin?  :)

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Believe me, having been born and raised down there, I know all about fried baloney. Still never liked it.

Fried Spam is good eatin' though.

Well...you ain't fambly, but you're all right! (born and bred below the Mason Dixon line. Spam?  that's uptown stuff :D).

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Another thing - never eat anything that claims it's "Black Angus" just because it uses that term.  Supposedly all it means is that the meat came from a dark-colored steer that graded satisfactorily.  They can also cut cost and call meat by whatever 'premium' nomenclature they like by using low-grade meat and high-grade fat.

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Jesus, Don...you really had to dig for this one.

At least they admitted it was a meltdown (*)

We used to use the"Biscuit Trick" at William and Mary in the 80s. Ask me about it sometime. worked every time

Okay, I'm asking. If you can't answer publicly, send me a PM, but I think people are going to want to hear this.

This tale is apocryphal, but supposedly, one of our fraternity brothers went to Pizza Hut on *three consecutive evenings* with *three different dates*, and dined-and-dashed each time. I never believed it, but the story was widely circulated.

I have some pretty wild college tales - maybe this deserves its own thread in Events and Gatherings? Someone start it with a TOS (Tale of Stupidity) you never thought you'd be telling to *anyone*, much less admitting in a public forum. God, I have at least one that could have gotten me expelled..

---

(*) Speaking of delusions, anyone who goes into a late-night nastiness den and asks for "cheddar," thinking that they're getting a better cheez product, needs to rethink that equation. I'm as guilty of this as anyone!

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2 minutes ago, Bob Wells said:

Too late for this trip, but there are several authentic taquerias in Georgetown.

I didn't get a steak biscuit or an Italian sub  (ended up at St. Anselm for brunch) - both of which I crave more than authentic tacos.  I go to Taco Bamba all the time for some tongue action.

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