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From the Restaurant Week Trenches


Nadya

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Jesus Tapdancing Christ I wish they'd quit scheduling it the same week as my birthday! Do you know how hard it is to celebrate anything during that accursed week?

Yes. Yes I do. My wedding anniversary is February 15. My birthday is February 16. Not a good time to try booking, say, a romantic B&B weekend.

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ohh, can I add stupid open table requests, My absolute favorite was two years ago, for a sat night reservation, the reservation made the night before for 4 people, "both couples are celebrating anniversaries. Roses would be nice." :lol:

durh, I'm supposed to get roses for your anniversary via an e-mail request made the night before.....don't know of rest who normally keep roses on hand except MAYBE valentines day, but....me thinks someone forgot their anniversary...

Also, more real question, looking for feedback, do other fine dining restaurnats provded free desserts for birthdays. We try to glam up special occasion desserts, but what if they don't order a dessert. Gotten comments on open table like "complimentary dessert for my guest would be nice for her birthday", at lunch mind you.

Or at rest week 3 years ago, show up at rest week with 11 people for 8 top reservation, pull their own chairs from recently vacated table and squeege in , only one hand able to reach their table, such shocking behavior from well dressed 40-55 year old ladies, shocking :P

Humph, I ramble, my coffee's getting cold. Need more caffine

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Speaking of sense of humor, this one has had enough.

For those of you who have seen the inside of Bis:

There is a king-size poster with a black-and-white photograph of a nekkid lady with a shadow of a wine glass artistically imposed on her back. Well, to be more accurate, on the crack of her bum. But artistically.

At least once a night, somebody will inquire:

"Is this you in the picture?"

I am running out of smartcracks.

What should I say that doesn't involve expletives?

And what should I say when that somebody is a part of the couple and his very own lady is right next to him obviously grinding her teeth behind her tight smile?

Is it true this happened again last night?

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So, Nadia, still interested in the previous "suprise"??? If I am able to tear myself away from the podium, the suprise (hinted upon in previous postings) can still be dropped off by the dozen or half dozen. Don't think too hard, it is (sort of) food. PSST--don't tell the suprise, :) We rest week rocks-breakers must keep some little secrets, mus'ent we??? :o

By the way, cat snipers RULE!

Edited by DaveBVI
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So, Nadia, still interested in the previous "suprise"??? If I am able to tear myself away from the podium, the suprise (hinted upon in previous postings) can still be dropped off by the dozen or half dozen.  Don't think too hard, it is (sort of) food.  PSST--don't tell the suprise,  :) We rest week rocks-breakers must keep some little secrets, mus'ent we??? :o

By the way, cat snipers RULE!

Brrrring it on!!

Hard to stay cheerful right now because I'm scheduled to work a BRUNCH shift on the 1st of Jan. Report to work at 10 bloody a.m. So instead of a usual PG-13 glamorous hostess trilling excitedly, "Hullo there, what would you like?" guests will be treated to slowly rising swollen eyelids to reveal a look of pure repulsion, followed by barking, "What?"

"Oh go seat your bloodyselves."

So yeah, bring on surprises.

Edited by Nadya
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Brrrring it on!!

Hard to stay cheerful right now because I'm scheduled to work a BRUNCH shift on the 1st of Jan. Report to work at 10 bloody a.m. So instead of a usual PG-13 glamorous hostess trilling excitedly, "Hullo there, what would you like?" guests will be treated to slowly rising swollen eyelids to reveal a look of pure repulsion, followed by barking, "What?"

"Oh go seat your bloodyselves."

So yeah, bring on surprises.

Nadya, dear, 10 AM is only early if you have slept.

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romance is in the air... at least I THINK that's what I smell...

Oh, now that you've gotten yourself married this year, you think every man needs this same state of grace? Or, does the idea of Nadya and Michael getting together bring a big grin to everyone who knows them???? :)
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Days until Saturday of RW: 9

People on the books for Sat night: 230

Brrrrring it on!

Meanwhile, last night a lady telephones wanting a reservation on Saturday night of Restaurant Week.

"I'll be dining with my two daughters...when is a fun time to come in on a Saturday night of Restaurant Week?"

Welllll....I could tell you to come to the Irisn Times after service but I don't think you'd appreciate that idea of fun.

"We'll be full all night long, Madam, so it's up to you. I have 6.15 and 8.30 for three, which would you like?"

"Hmmm....I would need to check with my kids to decide. Can you reserve both times and I'll give you a call later to pick one?"

Folks, please refer to the beginning of this post. People on the books: 230. At this point, I feel like putting her on a speaker, and calling all waiters to listen in, as this is simply too good to keep to myself.

"Madam, I regret that my computer won't let me do that. Please pick one."

The voice on the other end slips into a tone of generous tolerance usually used with finicky children who are being naughty and won't eat their turnip puree but Mommy will prevail no matter what.

"Can't you make it under two slightly different names? And I'll call you back before Saturday to pick one?"

Edited by Nadya
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"Can't you make it under two slightly different names? And I'll call you back before Saturday to pick one?"

"Why certainly, m'am, I'll be glad to do so. I'll just make that card hold for six meals instead of three."

Edited by Principia
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Well, folks, it's been two nights and I wish I had a trunkful of stories for you. Something really outrageous. Something egregious. Something that would have you shake your head and say, "really? people do that?"

But there just hasn't been anything THAT juicy so far.

Oh, we get the usual. We get the innocent, the wide-eyed. As in, four little pumpkins tremulously approaching the host stand, and timidly breathing out, "Jennifer....", only to be confronted with my blank stare followed by barking, "what's the LAST name??"

We get the pissy. "I called to adjust my reservation to five people from three." "Well, it is still showing as three in my book." "That's not MY problem!"

We get the crafty. "Um, er, I have a reservation for 5.30 on Saturday night for three....there's now going to be six, and we'd like to come at 7.30 instead.." - "I didn't have anything for that number at that number when you made your original reservation, and I still don't." (Reservations are not like a darling T-shirt from H&M you brought home and decided to get a larger size tomorrow, baby....you get it, and that's all you gots.)

But nothing really OUT of the ordinary. What I just described is ordinary. Mostly, we got (so far) really nice, cooperative folks who show up on time, like the food, tip the waiter and behave in a civilized fashion to everyone.

I knew there had to be something....here it is.

To all the concierges at all the fancy hotels around town. I know that right now you are a person in a shiny-button uniform. I know that right now you are someone whose compensation and encouragement depend on the number of times and degree of enthusiasm with which you say "yes! yes I can! absolutely!" to your guests.

But you used to be a person once.

Remember that. Don't send people over on a busy night without calling ahead. Don't tell them "OF COURSE you don't need a reservation." "OF COURSE they can take four on a Saturday night at 8 pm."

Because when a dressed-up couple shuffles through my doors and says to me, in a rather blooming and confident voice, "We are from the Fancy Hotel XXXX.....our superhelpful concierge XXX made a reservation for us....here is our confirmation."

And with this, they hand me a hotel card on which the superhelpful concierge has written, by hand, "Bistro Bis. Eight p.m." as an indelible proof of their reservation.

And my computer doesn't have a slightest idea what they are talking about.

So, dear hotel concierge. Don't make me out to be a bitch from hell. Make a call. Ask. THEN send people out. Especially in the middle of the Restaurant Week. Because I don't care where they are staying. If there is a free table, they are getting it.

And if not, not.

Edited by Nadya
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