Losing Your Appetite

[Heather]

This is probably a ridiculous question for a food-obsessed website, but here goes...

For the past few weeks I have lost my appetite. Nothing tempts me, and it seems that even my cooking skills are eroding although I keep on going through the motions. Getting dinner on the table every night is a chore - and it must be done because I have two kids who can't survive on coffee and cold cereal. Does this happen to anyone else, and what do you do to snap yourself out of it?

[JPW]

I think stress may play a fairly big role in your case. I mean, you just moved, you just had a sizable party, you're trying to get kids adjusted to new location/school/friends/activities.

To me the occasional *blah* feeling means it's time to spend some ME time. Take a spa day and relax.

[xcanuck]

This is probably a ridiculous question for a food-obsessed website, but here goes...

For the past few weeks I have lost my appetite. Nothing tempts me, and it seems that even my cooking skills are eroding although I keep on going through the motions. Getting dinner on the table every night is a chore - and it must be done because I have two kids who can't survive on coffee and cold cereal. Does this happen to anyone else, and what do you do to snap yourself out of it?

Not a ridiculous question! This happens to me from time to time. For the past few weeks, as the weather has gotten worse, I've had to pass on grilling and I can't seem to make the transition to the cooktop with any real verve. Cooking in the kitchen seems like a chore after enjoying months of BBQ'ing on the deck. I don't have kids to worry about, thank goodness, but my wife is stuck with cereal or frequent trips to RTC if I don't cook (the latter not being that much of a hardship!).

Some suggestions that might work for you - your mileage will vary.

• make the cooking environment as appealing as possible. Clean it up, turn on some music, light a candle, open a bottle of wine...whatever it takes to make you WANT to be there
  
• motivate yourself with a gift - maybe a new cookbook, kitchen toy, or special purchase from the butcher/grocer/etc
  
• cook something you want instead of something the kids/hubby want
  
• give yourself plenty of time. Don't be rushed (I know, easier said than done)
  

I had to do a little of each of these to get myself back into the cooktop frame of mind. Good luck, Heather!

[Heather]

I think stress may play a fairly big role in your case. I mean, you just moved, you just had a sizable party, you're trying to get kids adjusted to new location/school/friends/activities.

But we Type A's are supposed to thrive on stress. At least that's what the women's mags tell us. And besides, stress usually makes me go the other way.

Maybe it's the 8-year-old in me that wants a new ballerina barbie because all of her toys suck. A new kitchen toy or a cookbook might do the trick. xcanuck, those are good suggestions.

I was interested in whether anyone has a particular food that tempts them.

[Banco]

I'm not surprised that you've lost your appetite. You just moved to Takoma Park for Chrissakes!

I agree with all the good advice that others have already given, especially Joe's suggestion of a spa day. When I've experienced these strange losses of appetite, it's because the daily routine, including but not limited to what I eat and cook, has just become really entrenched. As you know, that can happen very easily when you are looking after kids and every trivial daily task has to be planned with the logistical exactitude of a Prussian military campaign. The cure that always works for me is treating myself to a nice dinner alone, where the food is at a high enough level to demand my concentration and where I have nothing to distract me from the pure pleasure of the meal. Maybe that would be the perfect way to close out your spa day and restore your gastronomical juices!

[demandalicious]

Get someone else to do the work for you.

[bookluvingbabe]

The kids aren't going to suffer if you feed them cereal for dinner a few times.

I'm suffering from food burnout at the moment--18 weeks pregnant, I still feel like crap, all I want are carbs and carbs are making my acid reflux feel 100 times worse and so far none of the drugs I can take are working. (Damn do I miss Prevacid...) Oh, and I still can't find some kitchen supplies (like the can opener) and we moved a month ago...

I've tried abdicating kitchen responsibilties but Mr. BLB gets home on average 60-90 minutes after I do and the man just can't cook much yet. (We're working on it...)

I have decided to just say screw the budget--if something looks good at Whole Foods I'm buying it whether or I normally would or not. Ditto for dining out.

I vote for buying the new Michel Richard cookbook or something else really fun and seeing if something in there inspires you.

I fear my cookbooks just make me sad as I seem to only crave organ meats at the moment and they are off the list until the end of March.

Good luck!

Jennifer

[DanielK]

For the past few weeks, as the weather has gotten worse, I've had to pass on grilling ...

Dude, you don't grill all year round?

[crackers]

I was interested in whether anyone has a particular food that tempts them.

Yes, a big pot of soup. Starting with mirepoix and then a whole chicken in the pot, and when the whole kitchen is filled with the steam and aromatics, my appetite usually starts to return, and I can improvise and add whatever I think will taste good in it - rice, pasta, potatoes, frozen gyoza from Trader Joes. For a few days after that we all can fend for ourselves with a ladle, a bowl and the microwave. And I agree that cereal for dinner once in awhile (or chocolate chip cookies...) won't harm the little ones too much. I hope.

[xcanuck]

Dude, you don't grill all year round?

It's hard to fire up the charcoal BBQ in the rain Besides, half the fun (for me anways) is relaxing by the BBQ with a beer and good music/friends to keep me company. It's not just the end result.

And the food that gets me out of my cooking doldrums is usually comfort food e.g. stuff my folks always made at home. For me, that means dal, torkari, and mangsho jhol (or lentils, veggies, and lamb curry). Yours will differ, no doubt!

[zoramargolis]

Why not turn the "problem" into an opportunity -- use the temporary appetite loss to kick-start a 5 or 10 pound weight-loss goal. One reason it's so hard for me to lose weight, is that I get so f-ing hungry, and when I am, I don't find lettuce with rice vinegar the least bit tempting or satisfying. Years ago, I had an inflammatory condition that resulted in my becoming nauseated any time I tried to eat solid food. I subsisted on chicken broth, yogurt and scrambled eggs for close to a year. I was miserable, needless to say, because I love to cook and eat, but wow did I get thin.

Feed the kids breakfast-for-dinner or Annie's mac-and-cheese, get some Tasty Bite or Trader Joe's Indian entrees or chicken and green chile tamales for Scott, and get by on chicken broth and yogurt for a few days.

[Heather]

Why not turn the "problem" into an opportunity -- use the temporary appetite loss to kick-start a 5 or 10 pound weight-loss goal.

Ha! I just had buy smaller jeans, so that has been a bonus.

I'll be picking up Richard's cookbook over the weekend. And maybe taking a class or two at L'Academie in Bethesda.

[Scott Johnston]

Now we all know that Heather does not need to lose any weight...

I too have been going through spurts of "I am tired of eating". I then notice I like a simple meal...grilled cheese with tomato soup, pot roast in the crock pot, simple chicken and dumpling soup. I stay out of the kitchen some days and others dive in ready for my next dinner party.

Generally I do need to lose those 10-15 pounds +, so I go back and focus on healthy eating...simple yes, but healthy.

[yeuxblu]

Initially I go fairly bland like egg noodles or rice with a touch of butter. After a day or two I start adding cooling elements like ginger and cucumbers, something crispy and fresh, you know the opposite of my mood.

Interesting thread idea. Probably one I would like to revisit in the dead of winter.

[bioesq]

Dude, you don't grill all year round?

I do, unless there's a passing hurricane or blizzard. New Year's Eve is a favorite time of ours to grill, notwithstanding the temperature.

[Scott Johnston]

I have a tradition of grilling and sitting in the hot tub during the first snow of the season. It just does not get any better that that, plus the is a built in frig to keep the wine in.

I do, unless there's a passing hurricane or blizzard. New Year's Eve is a favorite time of ours to grill, notwithstanding the temperature.

[Heather]

Now we all know that Heather does not need to lose any weight...

Let me know where to send that check, Scott.

Funny you should mention grilled cheese and tomato soup. I made that for the kids on Tuesday. Classic comfort food.

[JPW]

I have a tradition of grilling and sitting in the hot tub during the first snow of the season. It just does not get any better that that, plus the is a built in frig to keep the wine in.

Dude,

WAY too much information.

[smokey]

I've definitely gone through phases like that. I generally just ease up on my expectations of what I'll cook. If nothing is grabbing me, i don't want to waste a lot of time over the stove. And I'll totally echo what somebody else said--nobody in the house is going to drop dead if they eat cearel or pancakes or pasta for dinner for many nights in a month.

[mktye]

When I get in the cooking doldrums, I like to look at "old" favorite recipes. Those that are way in the back of my recipe box or in cookbooks I have not cracked open in a while. Those recipes that I used to cook all the time, but for various reason have fallen out of favor. Since I already know what they'll taste like, there is usually at least one that will start a craving. Or, I will be able to come up with a variation or improvement to a recipe that had not occured to me before and then I can hardly wait to try it out.

Or I just give up and go shopping for new shoes.

[Heather]

When I get in the cooking doldrums, I like to look at "old" favorite recipes. Those that are way in the back of my recipe box or in cookbooks I have not cracked open in a while. Those recipes that I used to cook all the time, but for various reason have fallen out of favor. Since I already know what they'll taste like, there is usually at least one that will start a craving. Or, I will be able to come up with a variation or improvement to a recipe that had not occured to me before and then I can hardly wait to try it out.

That's a good idea. Maybe it's time to trot out Fannie Farmer and see what appeals to me from my childhood. Chicken a la King, perhaps...Maybe we should start an "old favorites" thread. The tried and true.

Or I just give up and go shopping for new shoes.

I have an order from zappos.com on the way. Needed something to go with the new jeans.

P.S. Banco

[Seeker]

Heather,

At the risk of being tres declasse, may I suggest a menu-mailer from savingdinner.com?

I am a good cook, but was in a rut and overweight before subscribing to the Low-Carb Menu-Mailer for Two a couple of years ago. I've lost weight both because nutritional information is provided with each recipe and because now I know what a portion for one looks like. (Leanne Ely who writes these is a nutritionist.)

For you as a busy mother of two, the menu-mailers available there at a very reasonable price ($3.00 a month) take planning out of the equation which relieves a lot of stress and maintains variety. You get a menu plan for each week, a shopping list (which also saves money), and recipes.

Turns home cooking into a no-brainer, and the recipes are surprisingly tasty. She really uses spices well.

There are free sample menu-mailers on the Web site.

~Carol

[hillvalley]

For me it depends on the type of loss of appetite.

Sometimes food just becomes blah, an essential to keep going. Other times, usually because of stress, my body makes it clear that food is not our friend right now. When it's the former I splurge on something decadent to remind me why I love food. When it's the latter I stick with homemade chicken broth with stars or alphabets and really good bread sticks.

Heather I promise we will still love you if your kids eat food from a box or can for a while

[Heather]

Heather,

At the risk of being tres declasse, may I suggest a menu-mailer from savingdinner.com?

Not declasse at all, but I am far too disorganized, and contrary, to follow a plan. I can't even manage to follow a shopping list.

Thanks, hill. I know you guys will forgive me but the kids probably won't. Although as long I keep Marcona almonds, nicoise olives, and stinky cheese around they will have something to eat.

[Waitman]

When I get into a rut I eat oversalted, overprocessed greay crap fora while. And damn, is it good; gets the juices flowing even as it gets the arteries clogging.

Then after about a week, you say to yourself, "something French (or vegetarian, or braised until the wholehouse smellsof garlic and red wine) might be good tonight."

And you're off to the races, once again.

[bioesq]

I have a tradition of grilling and sitting in the hot tub during the first snow of the season. It just does not get any better that that, plus the is a built in frig to keep the wine in.

I tried that once, but the neighbor lady threatened to send the videotape to James Dobson.

[Ilaine]

Soup and crackers.

The Chinese take-out around the corner sells relatively decent egg drop soup, $1.35 a pint, with a package of fried egg noodles, you can't beat it. When I don't feel well, I live on this stuff.

Doctored at home with soy sauce and lots of toasted sesame seed oil. I would eat furniture if you sprinkled enough toasted sesame seed oil on it.

Feeling really punk, a can of Ensure or a banana.

I call it "old people food." Old people eat a lot of soup. The older I get, the more soup I eat. Often, a bowl of soup really hits the spot.

[Heather]

When I get into a rut I eat oversalted, overprocessed greasy crap for a while. And damn, is it good; gets the juices flowing even as it gets the arteries clogging.

Define "overprocessed, greasy crap". Pizza? Big Macs?

None of that sounds appealing right now.

[MarraVA]

I have totally lost my appetite, but I have a good excuse ... I've been eating DFAC (dining facility) food in Baghdad for five months ... the end is in sight, and soon I will be back in the land of being able to purchase *fresh* food, and cook it! And go to a restaurant and order what I want! Now, don't get me wrong, there is HUGE variety here, but it's kind of blah cafeteria food. The one thing they do *really* well is desserts, which is really dangerous. Luckily, the food seems to have killed my tastebuds, so I'm not tempted to eat too much from the dessert bar ... I am just hoping they wake back up again once I return to civilization! 8-))

I can't wait until I don't know what to cook for dinner because the choices are too many!

Marra.

[JPW]

I have totally lost my appetite, but I have a good excuse ... I've been eating DFAC (dining facility) food in Baghdad for five months ... the end is in sight, and soon I will be back in the land of being able to purchase *fresh* food, and cook it! And go to a restaurant and order what I want! Now, don't get me wrong, there is HUGE variety here, but it's kind of blah cafeteria food. The one thing they do *really* well is desserts, which is really dangerous. Luckily, the food seems to have killed my tastebuds, so I'm not tempted to eat too much from the dessert bar ... I am just hoping they wake back up again once I return to civilization! 8-))

I can't wait until I don't know what to cook for dinner because the choices are too many!

Marra.

Welcome, Marra. Be safe out there.

[qwertyy]

So what if it's been a few weeks and nothing, either home-cooked or brought in, healthy or greasy, labor-intensive or easy, sounds good at all? The stomach's growling, and the brain needs something, but even a handful of peanuts turns to ash (as it were). And booze tastes too good.

What's a good 12-step program for grief eating?

[pax]

What's a good 12-step program for grief eating?

Get out and walk the streets until something smells good. Take water with you and some crackers, just in case. (Also, cab fare home, I once walked so far on autopilot when I "woke" up I couldn't have walked home, I got all the way down to Georgetown from Bethesda on foot.) Dress warm. Being surrounded by people but not having to talk to them is a good thing. Find a coffee or juice bar.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[qwertyy]

Thankx, pax. I think a walk is probably a very, very good idea (and I hope I have the energy to do so in the near future). Coffee, maybe not so much, since I've been living off of caffiene, sugar, and booze for the last weeks and it's not doing my nerves any favors. And no juice bars in the midwest.

For the first time though, food sounded good tonight, and it tasted good too, but I can't bear people asking me what I want to have tomorrow. Rote is all I can figure, but that just pisses me off.

What goes with scotch? And a militant attitude?

[Walrus]

Walking is very good -- it gives you space to let your mind try to sift through everything without actually having to sit there and think about it. I see it as giving you the same benefit of a really good night's sleep, but being something you actually have control of (I don't sleep when I'm wound tight).

Whiskey, on the other hand, and I say this with primarily understanding followed by concern, tends to only make you feel worse in the end. It helps you stop thinking, which sometimes is what you need, but it also stops you from processing what it is you're dealing with, so that all just sits there, heavy as ever.

Personally, when grieving, I tend to stay away from really heavy, fatty foods, as they slow your body down just when you need it to keep moving. Sushi might be good, especially with miso soup. How about breakfast foods like oatmeal or scrambled eggs? Pancakes? For some reason, breakfast food (though I never eat breakfast) seems happy to me. How about your aunt's chicken and rice soup with some Ritz crackers? Sometimes good food memories can help soothe bad recent memories.

I hope some of this helps, and know that we're here for you.

[Pat]

For the first time though, food sounded good tonight, and it tasted good too, but I can't bear people asking me what I want to have tomorrow. Rote is all I can figure, but that just pisses me off.

Just take it day by day and realize that people who ask you that are trying to help. You know that, but just tell them you'll figure out tomorrow's food tomorrow.

I third (?) the walking. I walk a lot, and it really is very therapeutic.

Sometimes when you have trouble thinking about eating, foods that feel good to eat can get you through it--mashed potatoes, soup, yogurt, pudding.

[qwertyy]

Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, you have finally found your place in my life.

Tomorrow, we try for bratwurst.

[brettashley01]

don't go for anything you found "comforting" before. it wil be a natural turn off.... start off with non-breakfast foods, ie sandwiches, then salads. none of your "favorites'- IMO they made me feel guilty. crackers worked the best, and pretzel sticks.

[pax]

Kraft Mac and Cheese is just fine. Whatever fills up your tum. Some comfort foods for me are:

Grilled cheese sandwiches with cream of tomato soup

Cinnamon toast

Oatmeal with butter and dollops of jam

Hot chocolate

Peanut butter toast with real butter AND honey

Bacon eaten out of the microwave, with no excuses.

[Pat]

Peanut butter toast with real butter AND honey

Bacon eaten out of the microwave, with no excuses.

Peanut butter and bacon sandwich. That is oddly appealing to me at some times.

I understand what Brett is saying (I think) about how your own comfort foods may not be the right thing when you're feeling unbearably awful. But it may be that other people's idea of comfort foods works. I don't know if boxed mac and cheese is something with particular memories or something you never eat. That's something I never grew up eating and don't especially like, but there have been times I've craved it.

Whatever you can actually eat is the best thing. For some reason, the only food that is universally appealing to me, no matter how I feel, is french fries. When I go through periods when I have no appetite, I can always eat fries. They may not do for me what they do when I'm feeling great, but I can always eat them.

Food associations are a very strange thing.

ETA: In addition to the advice everyone is giving, the fact that you have not been eating your "home" food for a while probably is also a wild card here that will throw things into further confusion.

[JLK]

During a long tumultuous relationship, I used to lose weight (5-10 pounds) every time we fought or broke up for a few weeks. All I had to do was think of him for one second, and I couldn't eat for hours or a day. I lived on cereal and bananas during the times when I could tolerate food. Somehow, when we finally broke up, I gained weight. Right about now, I'd be thrilled to lose my appetite.

[qwertyy]

Thank you all for your responses; they've been inspirational, though I'll warn anyone in the same position that there is no equation to figuring this out.

Bratwurst *totally* hit the mark, and maybe only I think because someone mentioned them to me one day, and then a week later my mind said, "Brats! Damn that sounds good!"

Now I'm on sushi and looking forward to Sushi-Ko later this week. They're open for lunch right?

BTW: Pat, I think you're on to something with the "home food" issue. It's just recently occured to me that I'm not only dealing with grief, but also culture shock, jet lag, and "*&$^%# what the *$^#& is this weather?" That can throw a wrench into any gal's stomach.

[AJDC]

Frankly, I'd rather not be bothered with food.

But since avoiding it isn't a viable option, I want it to be good. Good to my palate, good to my health, good to my wallet, good to share with friends. Add a little ambiance to that, and I'll barely begrudge my body the need eat. Finding all that goodness takes time and tenacity. I'm hoping your findings will help focus my foraging.

So thanks for posting. If I manage to learn something useful that isn't already here, I'll try to chime in with it. -AJ

[deangold]

Frankly, I'd rather not be bothered with food.

But since avoiding it isn't a viable option, I want it to be good. Good to my palate, good to my health, good to my wallet, good to share with friends. Add a little ambiance to that, and I'll barely begrudge my body the need eat. Finding all that goodness takes time and tenacity. I'm hoping your findings will help focus my foraging.

So thanks for posting. If I manage to learn something useful that isn't already here, I'll try to chime in with it. -AJ

click

[AJDC]

click

Thanks for that very entertaining link, deangold. I appreciate the inedia sentiment, but don't think I'm quite up to following the prana path personally.

Cheers,

AJ