i went to the bar at morton's on connecticut avenue last night - meeting a freind who works in the building for plans later. until last evening i had assumed that the real differences between the big steakhouses was the service. the menus have pretty much the same fare, the wine lists are all expansive with a few gems and a few clunkers, they each did a pretty good job with a good cut of beef. had i been in the mood for a steak, i most likely would have continued to believe in this general culinary parity.

cold and rainy nights scream for lobster bisque. a soup and the chopped salad was just what i wanted. the bisque arrived and to it's credit it was piping hot and it had the proper consistency, and that is all i can say to it's credit. it had no richness, the sherry influence was also m.i.a., and the two pathetic pieces of lobster claw were boiled for what must have been an interminable amount of time. if you scratched the surface of this soup you got more surface. just bad.

if the only good things to be said of the bisque are that it was hot and liquid, then the only good thing to be said of the salad is that it was cold. it was listless lettuce haphazardly tossed with low grade blue cheese, some way past their prime tomatoes, and something that had the texture of bacon but none of its porkly goodness. the dressing was a thin vinaigrette that would have gone undetected except that i knew something was making the other ingredients slick.

i am very gratefully for the gracious service provided by damian and liz (i think that is her name). but for $45 (pre-tip) for 2 beers, criminally bad soup and salad, i felt violated.

Even if they are given away the potato rolls with horseradish mayo and a shred of chard meat remnant for happy hour, it's not worth it.

You should go for dinner. They actually wheel up a cart of raw meat to your table and then a half-trained server begans to lie about the various cuts, aging, pedigree of it all. It's scary. I'm sorry you experienced it. Go get a Manhattan at Cashions.

Don't feel too bad, Danny. You aren't the first to get "snookered" by Morton's. A couple of years ago, Craig received a coupon in the mail entitling him to a "surf and turf" dinner for two for $75 (if I remember correctly). Throw in a bottle of wine, tax and tip and it all came to just about $150. It was no bargain. Mostly just mediocre. The service was fine, if a bit smug. We felt like a coupla right pillocks for being enticed by this "deal." For that kind of money we could have gone to Ray's, Corduroy, Firefly or (insert your favorite place here) and had some really memorable food and wine.

More evidence that chain restaurants should be shunned like the frumious Bandersnatch.

In the past I have enjoyed their burger for lunch once every few months. It is usually loosely packed, cooked as ordered and full of beefy flavor. A few weeks ago I recommended it in a burger thread somewhere, which got me to return after a longer-than usual interval.

It was awful - dense, overcooked by at least two grades and underseasoned. And the above-mentioned chopped salad was as described - lifeless and tasteless.

At least the fries were good in a thin-McDonald's fries sort of way.

Grover and I went to Morton's last night for dinner. I'm starting the forum so that I can compare our dinner with dinners of other people who have dined there. I will write a review of or our dinner later today but for right now, your impressions please.

Click

(If you're ever wondering if a thread has been started on a restaurant, an easy way to find out is to go to the Restaurant Guide here. In this case, since Morton's has multiple locations, it is listed here and you can just click on the link to go to the thread. )

I've been to multiple Mortons, and never impressed by any of'em. Forgettable food, predictable crowd and an utterly ridiculous dog-and-pony show by waiters who insist on showing you a shrink-wrapped piece of beef before taking your order. As if I'm a raving schizo who can't tell her mignon from a prophylactic without visual aids.

Hey, since this thread is going south fast, might I add that at least their Onion Bread is pretty good. Morton's is a chain steak house that delivers a predictable meal at all of their locations. It's not the worst I've eaten and it's easily not the best, but it works for the occasion at times.

At the risk of replying to myself, Grover and I were also enticed by the "Steak and Seafood" special which is now $89. We also had the dog and pony show which was cut short by my handing the server the coupon. I started with 6 oysters on the half-shell for $12. The oysters were excellent. They were fresh and very tasty. The accompanying cocktail sauce had a matching cup of horseradish for additional bite if wanted, as well as lemon and a bottle of Tobasco. I had the caesar salad and Grover had the Morton's salad. Both were large, crisp and fresh, and for the caesar, seemingly lacking in egg, but I don't think that's too unusual anymore. I had the 8oz filet medium rare and Grover had hers medium. Both steaks were cooked to spec. I had the Shrimp Imperial, 3 large broiled shrimp on a spicy cream sauce. Grover had the crab cake. The shrimp were good but a bit chewy. The crab cake isn't going to win any prizes but it was acceptable with a minimum amount of extraneous breading and other non-crab filler. The steaks were tender and moist but a bit deficient in that "steaky" flavor. Desserts were either a vanilla bean flan or chocolate lava cake. We both opted for the chocolate...it came accompanied with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. As a cliche, it was a decent end to the meal. The best part of the meal was our server. Jocelyn was both informative and helpful. She immediately replaced a glass of wine that wasn't to Grover's taste with a better one, she was very attentive without being intrusive and overall was a pleasure to deal with. The final bill with tax, tip and 3 glasses of wine was about $150.

NotQuickDraw and I have eaten at Morton's a few times, with other people picking the restaurant (and picking up the check). Steaks are decent, caesar salad OK, hot chocolate cake warm and gooey and filling. Nothing great, overpriced, but OK. Drinkable wine. Service has always been good to very good - efficient, unpretentious (but seemingly ready to adopt a more pretentious attitude if the customer seems to prefer it, as some do). The meat display can be seen as either amusing or absurd, and is far more tolerable if you approach it as amusing.

When we've gone there have usually been a few people obviously dining on an expense account, couples apparently hoping for a "fine dining" experience (and if they don't know any better, it's no harm to them), and frequently families. All generally seem to be having a good time. It's easy, it's predictable, everything on the plate is recognizable, it's comfortable and unfussy, it's family- and kid-friendly. As NQD puts it, "It's Denny's for rich people." Not where I would choose to spend my money, but there are worse places. And if someone else is paying, why not?

I am, in actual fact, going to a party at Morton's Thursday night and have every intention to enjoy it. It's drinks and desserts - what's not to like about booze and sugar? If someone else is paying, why not?

We appear to have a consensus. Morton's is just fine, so long as someone else is picking up the check and you have no control over choosing the venue.

From Da List - Ya'll Ownit?

A Steak In Success -- Morton's Steak Bible is a new book showing how to select and cook steak and other great dishes from the great steakhouse. According to a Morton's press release, the book "...was coauthored by a restaurant visionary responsible for cooking more than 25 million steaks (Klaus Fritsch, co-founder of Morton's Steakhouses)... (is) lavishly illustrated with full-color photographs (and) features never-before-published recipes and inside lore from Morton's. Also look for 100 recipes for Morton's signature cocktails, steak specialties and other main dish favorites, appetizers, soups and salads, side dishes and desserts.

The Morton's in Washington is rather special ... it took over the location of Duke Ziebert's ...
for Washingtonians of a certain age, Duke Ziebert's was as important a Washington institution as
the Supreme Court. The stories of a snow storm, when Duke Ziebert and his pals when out in the street
to hit golf balls!
Anyway, now we have Morton's, very respectable, very non-threatening (too much garlic? of course not!)
if you are still following the Atkins diet, and your wife is on the rabbit food diet, not to worry! They have
something for each of you! Nothing will be memorable, but really excellent quality cafeteria food.
I think for some Washingtonians (say, lawyers who bill $1,000 dollars per hour) going to Morton's is
like a trip though the drive-thru at McDonalds.
It has its place. It will survive, because they know their audience. I got a coupon because some computer
thought I was a Morton's kind of person. The computer was wrong.

By the time Duke's got to that new, above ground location, it had already lost a lot of it's vibe. The liver steak was never as good, the rye bread was sliced too thin, and the waiters weren't as condescending.

Btw, I believe Morton's is now a public company, with very respectable margins (especially on the Cali Cabs!).

I received an e-mail from Morton's plugging their new "Prime Ocean Platter." The accompanying photo is intriguing, and I am always on the lookout for a plateau de fruits de mer. I have not had a good one in Washington, including Oceanaire (skimpy) and Sea Catch (incomplete). Kudos to the Morton's photographer, but for $87 they're offering 4 shrimp, oysters, lobster pieces, etc. That comes out with tax to about $4.50 per thing. It would be way cheaper to order the ingredients one by one. How can Balthazar in NY provide so much more for only $12 more? To say nothing of Montreal's Au Pied de Cochon or places in Paris like La Coupole and Le Bar à Huitres.

Stephen, have you had any of the seafood platters (I think they're called Orca platters) at Clyde's (including Old Ebbitt Grill)? Especially at the half-off happy hour prices, they can be pretty good deals.

Not yet. But that's on my list, along with Kinkaid's. Ebbitt's is hard to park at, so do the other Clyde's outlets have the same Orca platter?

Most, though not all. And the happy hour half-off hours and policy varies substantially by location, so it's best to call ahead.

MORTON’S // EBBITT’S
“PRIME OCEAN” // “ORCA”

$87 // $47 (happy hour)
4 LOBSTER PIECES // 1 LB LOBSTER
4 SHRIMP // 12 SHRIMP
4 CRAB LEGS // 12 CRAB CLAWS
4 OYSTERS // 12 OYSTERS
JUMBO LUMP CRABMEAT //————————-
____________________ // 12 CLAMS

What kind of crab legs do they serve up?

I never get the Ebbitt's Orca platter because those crab claws are a waste of time. But if they had some nice king crab on there...

Actually, last time I was at OEG in season, they were stone crab claws! I think normally they are snow crab legs.

Stephen, the way I'm reading your grid, OEG is the clear winner even at NON happy hour prices, when that platter is $94 not $47!

Right now the crab claws at OEG are Jonah crab claws, frozen & defrosted by the taste of them. OK. THe shrimp temd to be a little hammered (overcooked and not drunk), but are good with cocktail sauce & horseradish. The lobster, however, is pretty damned good.

Last week, however, we stuck to oysters & more oysters and 6 shrimp. The oysters continue to amaze for the money. Last week they had California Kumamotos (as opposed to Oregon which are much less briney) which were wonderufl and the St Simon were buttery/milky rich and superb. The Wiannos are pretty damned good for very large and very briny oysters. Yum! I also put back several (if you call 4 several) bloody maria's made with a lot of well tequila, a lot of horseradish & tabasco for $6.50 each. This was a decision I regretted the next morning.

Saturday dinner: Morton's, Atlantic City, NJ. (Last bachelor party I'll probably ever go to, since I have no more bachelor friends.)

This was my first time at any Morton's. What the hell is with the song-and-dance routine the waiter gives at the beginning of the meal? My lord, I thought I was going to pass out from the combined effects of boredom, astonishment, and simple aging. He actually held up a tomato so we knew what he was talking about when he mentioned a "tomato." He also held up a potato and an onion at the appropriate moments in his script. Wow.

I ordered a cajun ribeye medium-rare. The waiter acted as though I had ordered an armed hand grenade: "Now that's going to be red throughout, warm in the center. Is that okay?" Yes. Then it came and it was medium (or even, perhaps, medium-well). I'm glad it had the cajun seasoning, as that made it taste fine anyway.

Decent food, but crazy-overpriced and clownish service.

Wow. I had a totally different experience last evening from most people. Maybe because I was giggling like a high schooler because we had just made a great escape from my first visit to Old Ebbitt Grill. (The decorations, the menu it was all too much. We threw some money on the table, having not ordered anything and RAN.) No dog and pony show. Just the obscenely-sized onion bread, which was a bit lamentable and rather intimidating. And let me tell you, when you drown two slices of likely-Chilean beefsteak tomatoes with bleu cheese and cracked pepper it isn't so bad. I got the nod from the waiter for ordering my ribeye medium rare. It wasn't the most flavorful piece of meat, but it did have a fairly pleasing salt and pepper crust. Would I have paid nearly $40 for the steak myself? No.

I think in a nod to our not ordering our meat burnt to a crisp, our server kindly brought a complimentary Godiva chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream to share. It may have been free because it was the end of the day and it would have been binned... because the cake was a bit crusty, which isn't all that bad. But the ice cream... UGH... had either been frozen way too slowly or refrozen because I could hear the ice crystals breaking as I put my spoon through it. But beggars can't be choosers. It was certainly a memorable evening.