I love me some mussels. But only if, and it's a big-ass if, every last one of them is perfectly fresh and each and every one of them is cooked just right. I'm beginning to suspect that this is simply too much to expect. Mussels can go bad in the blink of an eye, they can be full of grit, and it only takes one stinker to ruin a whole damn plate.

But every couple of months I find myself ordering them. And 9 times out of 10 I kick myself for it when I get that unmistakable whiff of god-awful funkiness or, worse yet, toss one in my mouth and get a flavor that is vaguely reminiscent of the busiest... uhm... "adult entertainment industry professional" in town and that only gargling down half a bottle of wine will help ease my misery.

I’ve awaited them anxiously at some of the most well regarded high end joints in town, and I’ve rolled the dice in some real dives. Whether I’ve paid $18 or $4.99 for a plateful, I can never be certain I’ll enjoy the results.

I’m not sure what my question is, but I guess I’d like to hear from some grizzled restaurant veterans on what they do, if anything, to try and ensure that I won’t gag on a bivalve at their establishment. I totally understand that it may well be impossible to source mussels that are 99.97% pure. Do mussels get returned to the kitchen with any greater frequency than other dishes? Has anyone else’s experience been similar to mine? Should I just give up on mussels and stick to the chicken fingers?

Great question! The last good bucket I had was at Rustico. But I've gotten them mushy, mealy and gaggy. What gives? If I get fresh ones and make them at home, can I expect varied results?
I hesitate to buy a whole big bag of them for just me and DH only to find they are bad quality, even though alive when I made them.

Hmm. I don't know what to tell you. I love me some mussels, too, but seem to have had better experiences around town than you have had. I usually end up with a few "dead soldiers", but I think that is to be expected.

Lately, I've been a fan of the mussels at Rustico, too, served in a spicy tomato caper broth. I think its about $8 for a huge bucketful, and no god-awful funkiness to date.

Darn good question, and one that I'd love to read the responses to.

My suspicion is that good mussels are among the foodstuffs most dependent on obsessive quality control through the entire chain...each supplier had better know their supplier in painful detail. The mussel itself has no choice but to concentrate its native environment - it's aquatic, a filter-feeder, and an immobile one. (This aquatic lifestyle can have significant consequences in the post-industrial age - mussels and oysters are especially high in heavy metals such as cadmium and mercury) I'd have to think that it begins with the "where" and "when" of harvesting. Apart from the time it spends in tanks flushing out the sand, the mussel can get no better. Everything else in the supplier chain is merely an opportunity to degrade its quality.

When I lived in Boston, we'd try to avoid dining on local filter-feeders the week after a storm, on the notion that the outflow would simply churn a fresh batch of the city's sediment out into the Mass Bay...and Boston was the last major East Coast city to lack secondary sewage treatment.

On the other hand, some of the best mussels I've had in the area were at Monocacy Crossing, and he simply bought them regularly from a particular large supplier at the wholesale market in Jessup that he deemed reliable. Perhaps this is analogous to shopping for wine based on the importer's label.

I've eaten mussels all over town and can categorically state that the moules poulette at Bistrot du Coin are the tastiest, most consistent, most satisfying mussels I've had in Washington. The Poulette is a wine-cream sauce and is great for dipping both mussels and bread in. A large order is extremely filling. They seem to have a system for cooking mussels there that is seemingly fool proof. They are the same every time - no grit, no stinkers.
Best,
GRV*






*grizzled restaurant veteran

Thanks GRV*. Come to think of it, I've had the mussels there 3 or 4 times, and I don't recall any encounter with the classic stylings of Grand Funk Bivalve. Perhaps BdC will be my one and only moules refuge.

*Great Recommender of Vino

I love mussels, too, but haven't experienced the "bad" ones, although I have been served ones which didn't open. Maybe my senses of smell and taste aren't as sensitive as yours--which is entirely possible. What I try to follow is Bourdain's dictum about only eating mussels in places that sell a LOT of them. Which describes Bistrot du Coin to a T. I also had them at Open City and thoroughly enjoyed them.

Boy. I rarely eat mussels out because they're so easy to make at home, plus you get to do your own quality control. I wonder if Al has access to store that sells reasonable seafood?

PS: Anyone remember Bertha's? As in the ubiquitous and vaguely disquieting bumper sticker "Eat Bertha's Mussles?"

Still there; paid them a visit on a pub crawl of Fell's Point last winter. Wasn't too taken with their mussels, which weren't bad, but not great either.

Thanks for the pointer to BdC, Mark. That description is making me hungry.

I don't care for mussels, for exactly the reasons you give, AlDente. The one time I had them and thought "wow! this is what I've been missing all these years" was three years ago at Greenwood, when ol_ironstomach insisted I try them. So maybe you should try them at Buck's if they're ever on the menu.

Every bag of mussels is required to carry a tag identifying its source, harvest date and shipping date. The best way to ensure good mussels is to ask to see the tag so that you can determine how long it has been since the mussels were harvested and shipped. If it has been a few weeks, they may be still alive, but obviously they aren't feeding after harvest, and have been living off of their own stored nutrients, so they will be less plump and tasty, and more of them may no longer be alive. All of the commercially available mussels are rope cultured and shouldn't be gritty. The best ones IMO come from Prince Edward Island. Though I no longer work there, I recommend BlackSalt as a good place both to buy mussels in the fish market, and order them in the restaurant. They sell a ton of them, so are frequently getting fresh deliveries. I'd be surprised if any place sells fresher, higher quality mussels. The restaurant has several different preparations to choose from ( I always get the Addie's mussels) and they are reasonable--it's possible to sit at the bar, have a serving of mussels and a glass of wine and get change back from a $20 bill.

Unfortunately, I am limited to the Safeway or Giant, but I ALWAYS ask to see the date on the bags of farmed mussels. If it's hinkty, I don't buy them. I am also limited in the fact that Dame Edna doesn't care much for them. So, when he wants to go to Firefly to appease his fried oyster jones, I can get a plate of the mussels. Sometimes, I can even talk him into going to BdC so that I can have mussels and he can have some mediocre French stuff.