I thought that this was a complete hoot: http://www.astradyne.co.uk/cheese/

Apparently, I am Bel-Paese:

Dolcelatte



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Dolcelatte is a very soft blue cheese from Italy, and melts in the mouth like ice cream. The name Dolcelatte means "sweet milk" in Italian, and this cheese has a corresponding sweet taste.

Exactly.

FETA!:
Feta is soft, white cheese made in Greece. Traditionally it was made with ewe or goat milk, but today is mostly made from pasteurised cows milk. It is solid, but very crumbly, due to the numerous fissures it contains. It has an acidic, salty taste, and is often used in salads

perfect! I love salads.. and I'm pretty acidic, too

Roquefort. I am getting to be a moldy old bastard...

I'm obsolete.

That was mine too!

Damn. I thought we looked pretty lively last night at Viridian.

Scott's is Gorgonzola:

Can't say I ever heard of this one.

That was me too! Obscure cheese, obscure wine, obscure Madonna lyrics, it's all the same.

I ebtered crap doodle as a anme and it returned baby bel which is crap doodle cheeese! Dean Gold is brie but Dean Lewis Gold is Parmigiano.

Apparently I'm "Gruyere"

So... who/what is Astradyne?

A round of cheese...

Roquefort = Limberger
Limberger = Port Salut
Port Salut = Stilton
Stilton = Double Gloucester
Double Gloucester = Roquefort

And DR.com = Bel Paese -- a "beautiful land"

Stinking Bishop

Feta, Damm I wanted some mold....


I tried my full name and became: White, Creamy, and mild. That about sums it up.

S



A traditional whey cheese, Ricotta is white, creamy and mild, and is used when making traditional lasagne. Ricotta should be firm, rather than solid, and consists of a mass of fine, moist grains.

It appears that no matter what kind of chese I am, I need to ripen for a number of months.

Using my first and last name, my cheese rating is:

"Your cheese rating is: Meira
Meira is a traditional Iraqi cheese, made from sheeps milk. The curds are cut into strips and matured in a sheepskin bag for between 6 and 12 months."

Using my first, middle and last name, my cheese rating is:

"Your cheese rating is: Red Leicester

A hard, grainy cheese, coloured red with annatto. Red Leiceter ripens quickly, and is typically sold after maturing for 10 - 12 weeks, but can be left to ripen for up to 9 months."

Bleasdale
A marbled cheddar, made by mixing plain and annatto coloured curds. It is slightly softer than traditional cheddar.

i, apparently, am a head cheese -- brawny and simmering in a gelatinous broth for most of my adult life. can anyone guess my name?

Cheese results
Your name is: Mark Slater
Your cheese rating is: Dolcelatte

"Do you have Prince Edward in a can?"

"If you could be any twee, what twee would you bee?"

Next.

But wait....Wilma is a stinking bishop too! However, Laura is a camembert.

With my (ironically, ethnically Chinese) name, I am the cheese of the (lactose-intolerant) people:

Cheddar is the most famous, and most widely eaten cheese in the world. Cheddar is a hard natual cheese, with a white to pale yellow colour, although some variants have artifical colours added to give a yellow or orange hue. It is matured for between 9 to 24 months, during which is evolves from a mild, smooth cheese to a strong, tangy, slightly crumbly cheese.

Including my middle name, however, I become...French?

Camembert - A soft creamy cheese named after the French village in Normandy in which it was created, by a woman named Marie Harel. It has a crumbly, edible rind, and gets softer as it ripens, giving off that familiar smell for which French cheese became infamous.

Heh.