Is there a recipe website that will allow you to download not only their recipes but also to add your own and then from those it will make a shopping list for you?

yes! www.allrecipes.com

it is wonderful- i typed in the words "chicken quick" and got the most amazing parmesan crusted chicken recipe ever- though i DID cut the butter it called for in half. lots of helpful reviews and suggestions to improve recipes as well. hope you like it!

I use allrecipes, but I can't figure out how to take from my private recipe box to add to a shopping list automatically.

in your recipe box, check the recipes you want, then at the bottom click on COPY checked items to "My Shopping List", hit go. click the Shopping list tab, then view and print. it's not automatic, but it works...