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The Cereal Bowl, Cleveland Park - Closed

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Examiner article says, "At least one D.C. store (Rader would not reveal the exact location) will open by the end of this year, and the area is being targeted as a major focus area because of its walkable nature, Rader said."

A bowl of cereal is what I used to make when I wanted to do the most minimal amount of "cooking" at home so I don't see myself going out for one. But maybe it's more for the kid crowd (like gummy bears on cereal? yuck).

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Examiner article says, "At least one D.C. store (Rader would not reveal the exact location) will open by the end of this year, and the area is being targeted as a major focus area because of its walkable nature, Rader said."

A bowl of cereal is what I used to make when I wanted to do the most minimal amount of "cooking" at home so I don't see myself going out for one. But maybe it's more for the kid crowd (like gummy bears on cereal? yuck).

This has got to be one of the most stupid-ass things that I have read lately.

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(Background music: "Nevermind")

Dude 1: Dude, got a match?

Dude 2: Yeah. Oh man, where did I put them? Better use the stove.

(From the kitchen)

Dude 1: Man, your pilot light must be out. Oh wait, I was turning the knob the wrong direction. (Beevis-like laugh) (pause) Shit, I caught my hair on fire.

Dude 2: Did you get it out, dude? That shit stinks.

Dude 1: Yeah. I'm OK. It's the hot new hairstyle, get it? (Beevis and Butthead-type laughter)

Dude 2: Hot new hairstyle. That's cool.

Dude 1: (walking back into the living room, rifling a ceral box) "Hey dude, you're out of Lucky Charms."

Dude 2: Oh man we're out of Lucky Charms? That sucks, man. Dude, you should see your hair.

Dude 1: I know, gimme your hat. There..(closes eyes in intense concentration) Wouldn't it be great if there was a place where you could, like, just buy whatever cereal you wanted and they'd, like, serve it in a bowl and shit, and you could get like, banana's and like 2 percent or 1% percent or, like, that shit your girfriend drinks?

Dude 2: Soy?

Dude 1: Yeah, soy. And it would be like a restaurant and all, so you wouldn't even have to like wash the bowls and stuff.

Dude: 2 You never wash the bowls, man.

Dude 1: Sometimes I do....Don't you like hate it when the Cheerios kind of glue themselves to the bowl and you can't get 'em off with your fingernail and then they like come off when you're trying to eat something else.

Dude 2: My girfriebnd freakin' hates that. She's always like naggin' me about the bowls. And like vegetables and shit.

Dude 1: See, so like if we had that cereal restaurant, she wouldn't be on your case.

Dude 2: Yeah, you're right. We should like do that.

Dude 1: Yeah. (pause) Do what?

Dude 2: Start the cereal restautant...got any matches?

Dude 1: Got any Pearl Jam?

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This has got to be one of the most stupid-ass things that I have read lately.

It may be stupid-ass but it's money-making. I am pretty sure the company started on/near a midwestern college campus, which is genius, because I really could have lived on cereal and coffee my freshman year. Sure would beat jumbo slice as a late-night snack, and there never are any good, quick breakfast and/snack options in college cafeterias besides the usual starbucks and candy.

ETA: Perhaps it wasn't the Cereal Bowl itself, but I clearly remember reading about this concept and its launch near a college campus. It seems this particular company was launched in Miami. I don't think they're one and the same (then again, I could be mistaken, or on an allergy medication induced acid trip).

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It may be stupid-ass but it's money-making. I am pretty sure the company started on/near a midwestern college campus, which is genius, because I really could have lived on cereal and coffee my freshman year. Sure would beat jumbo slice as a late-night snack, and there never are any good, quick breakfast and/snack options in college cafeterias besides the usual starbucks and candy.
College was long ago and far away, but I dimly recall small refrigerators in dorms room, where it was possible to keep milk cold, and bowls nicked from the dining hall, and boxes of cereal stashed in closets. Are such thing no longer possible on today's college campuses? Or are the current batch of coeds so inept in the kitchen that even making cereal is beyond them?

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It may be stupid-ass but it's money-making.

Possibly making money at one location does not mean that going nationwide is going to be profitable. That said, I am not surprised that they got funding for this venture.

$4 for a large bowl of cereal?! YHTBFKM.

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According to this article, it seems there are not one, but at least three cereal ventures out there:

Cereality http://www.cereality.com/exp_stores.php from the addresses, the locations seem near colleges

Cereal Central, formerly Cerealicious but then got sued by Cereality according to the article http://www.cerealcentral.net/

Cereal Bowl http://www.thecerealbowl.com/

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According to this article, it seems there are not one, but at least three cereal ventures out there:

Cereality http://www.cereality.com/exp_stores.php from the addresses, the locations seem near colleges

Cereal Central, formerly Cerealicious but then got sued by Cereality according to the article http://www.cerealcentral.net/

Cereal Bowl http://www.thecerealbowl.com/

Yup, I was thinking of Cereality.

And, sure it's fine to keep small boxes of cereal, milk - but on an urban campus, with messy roomates and late night munchies, it's not practical to keep many varieties on hand, and encourages infestation.

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On the upside, there's a ready-made, media-friendly moniker for the first employee of one of these stores who goes on a killing spree.

The Cereal Killer

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The Cereal Killer
Diane Mott Davidson wrote "The Cereal Murders" in 1993. She writes a series of murder mysteries starring Goldie the Caterer. Some of us have too much time on our hands. ;)

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Coming soon to a neighborhood near you, Al Dente's House of Toast... ;)
I'll serve my world famous boiled water right next door.

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I'll serve my world famous boiled water right next door.

I've been trying unsuccessfully to remember where I'd read an article a couple of years ago about the new blighttrend of restaurants that serve banal childhood comfort foods of the 1970s like cereals, Tang, Chef Boyardee canned goods, and so forth. Gaaah. Boiled water might not be that far behind!

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I remember watching the thing about Cereality on Unwrapped on the Food Network and thinking to myself "why didn't I think of that!". If someone was explaining this concept to me or if I was reading an article about it, I would probably be thinking the same thing that others have posted in this thread. But this thing is an unbelievable money maker and HUGELY successful! The concept is genius, their margins are through the rough, and it's one of the those places that will stay busy at whatever campus they put one on.

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Wow. Just wow. I looked at their "menu". I don't think you could make that shit up if you tried.

The neighborhood is crying out for a place to sit down & have a cup of coffee (Firehook is fine, in summer, but there's not enough indoor seating to make it a viable coffeehouse to sit with a friend for coffee for an hour or two), and we get this?

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Wow. Just wow. I looked at their "menu". I don't think you could make that shit up if you tried.

That's only because you haven't done the following:

1) Go to their website

2) Click on "About Us"

3) Then click on "Experience"

4) Read the first sentence.

--

Serial Bol = A 7'6" Dinka tribesman brandishing a Kalashnikov.

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In my mind, Foggy Bottom seems like a way more appropriate location than Cleveland Park for this. I wish them luck.

But then again for basically $5 for a bowl of cereal, they don't need to sell much.

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In my mind, Foggy Bottom seems like a way more appropriate location than Cleveland Park for this. I wish them luck.

But then again for basically $5 for a bowl of cereal, they don't need to sell much.

I know the guy who is opening this franchise and he tried desperately to get a space in both Foggy Bottom and Georgetown. They actually secured spaces both times, but due to the devilish commercial landlords and the price bidding wars they have between perspective tenants, they eventually lost out. After losing out and getting frustrated in both of those attempts, they settled on the Cleveland Park location, which was not ideal but had several advantages, including already been built out to support a restaurant facility (all other locations they'd looked at had not) and it was in a busier area in Cleveland Park, whereas everything they saw and could afford in AM and G'town was off the beaten path.

For obvious reasons I hope this place succeeds, but unfortunately I feel the same way about it that most of you in this thread do. I think in the right location (on or very near a college campus), in the right area (very little other good food options for breakfast), a place like this with margins as high as they are would do very well. I think, however, that moving into the Cleveland Park location was a desperation move after working on this for over 3 years and they are kind of settling and hoping that the parents in the area bring their kids in for Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Marshmallow bowls for $5. If not, I wouldn't assume that this would be a long term venture, and Cereal Bowl corporate would probably shut them down and focus their resources on opening up on another college campus.

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I wonder how much individual stores can deviate from the concept. I noticed, for instance, that all of the hot cereals seemed to be oatmeal-based. What about Cream of Wheat? Grits? Other grains people eat hot for breakfast? The aging baby boomers are a good market for hot grains, but is oatmeal alone going to bring in enough people in the demographic that wants hot cereal?

Not being right on top of a college campus, they're going to have to pull in, say, both 30-something parents and their kids and maybe the grandparents. Most of the concoctions on their menu are way heavy on the sugary cereals, which is great for a late night study (or whatever :angry:) snack, but they may have trouble pulling in enough people in that neighborhood for Lucky Charms mixed with Cap'n Crunch and Cocoa Pebbles. If they can cover a wide range of healthy to sugary sweet to guilty pleasure childhood memory, they might be able to pull it off, even in that area.

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Not being right on top of a college campus, they're going to have to pull in, say, both 30-something parents and their kids and maybe the grandparents. Most of the concoctions on their menu are way heavy on the sugary cereals, which is great for a late night study (or whatever :angry:) snack, but they may have trouble pulling in enough people in that neighborhood for Lucky Charms mixed with Cap'n Crunch and Cocoa Pebbles.
I agree w everything Pat has to say, especially regarding the horror that menu would evoke for your average Cleveland Park-parent who presses down on the blue and yellow line to seal plain, low-sugar Cheerios in narrow plastic bags for snacks before heading down Porter Street with Max or Olivia in the stroller.

There are lots of apartment buildings along Connecticut Avenue stretching from Woodley Park to Tenleytown whose occupants range from college students to young professionals. While they prefer to get loud and rowdy with beer, pizza, burgers and booze, I could see how a sugar-high might appeal to those who wrinkle their noses at Sweetgreens. There is something about those bowls of cereal that reminds me of Cold Stone Creamery which has done well in the neighborhood.

As for oatmeal, Le Pain Q. also sells the stuff if not w glistening, canned pie filling straight out of the can. It's a tried-and-true menu item and no matter how much The Cereal Bowl calls itself and its founders creative, as earlier comments indicate, they offer few signs of originality.

I've always found distinctions between creativity and originality worth exploring...

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I agree w everything Pat has to say, especially regarding the horror that menu would evoke for your average Cleveland Park-parent who presses down on the blue and yellow line to seal plain, low-sugar Cheerios in narrow plastic bags for snacks before heading down Porter Street with Max or Olivia in the stroller.

I don't really think the sugary cereal aspect will keep the Cleveland Park parents out of this place. Cereal, regardless of sugar content, is a pretty low calorie food. 1 cup of Froot Loops with 1/2 cup of skim milk is a reasonable 160 calories, Lucky Charms is 150, Cinnamon Toast Crunch is 170 and Frosted Mini Wheats is 240 (higher calories being the result of higher complex carbohydrates and protein content NOT sugar). So assuming this place sells bowls that are three times the labeled serving size, we are still talking about 500 calories, which is reasonable. As for sugar, everything is relative. Your typical apple juice that CP parents love to feed their kids has twice the sugar per serving than Froot Loops and three times as much as Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It would appear that each of these bowls of cereal they are planning to sell probably has about the same number of calories and half the sugar as a tall Chai Tea Latte with Soy at Starbucks. This place may actually be a good option for the health conscious CP parents and I think they serve Kashi and granola and all that good stuff too.

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