Most Outrageous, Extravagant Meal Of Your Life

[DonRocks]

Many years ago, a famous reporter (who shall remain anonymous for obvious reasons) came back from Russia, where he had purchased, on the black market, an entire kilogram (over two pounds) of the finest quality beluga caviar. This was the real stuff, and I bought about 1/3 of it for an absurdly low price (a couple hundred dollars).

So here I was with nearly a pound of black gold that was now 2-3 days old and needed to be eaten.

I was having it several times a day - a teaspoon here, a tablespoon there - until, a few days later, I decided this needed to be consumed before it turned. There was nothing else to do with it *but* eat it.

That afternoon, I went to Einstein Brothers Bagels, and bought two plain bagels, then went to the store to buy some crème fråiche, and went home.

I lightly toasted a bagel, cut it in half, spread a little crème fråiche on both sides, and put the remaining caviar on the bagel. Picture a tennis ball, and that's how much beluga caviar was left. When it was squashed down, it was about the size of a large hamburger patty.

There was so much caviar that upon the first bite, it plopped out the other end and fell down onto my plate - which is exactly why I had the second bagel: to use as a swiper to scoop up any fallen caviar (and there was a lot).

Although I have no idea how much this insane sandwich would have cost, I will say that I once spent $550 on lunch at Per Se (and that doesn't include bringing hundreds of dollars of my own wine), and this would have cost more. This was easily a $1,000 sandwich, and yet, it wasn't the least bit wasteful; just the opposite, it was done to prevent waste - imagine breaking the neck of a bottle of 1947 Cheval Blanc ... you can either sit there and cry while it goes bad over the course of an hour, or you can break out the Bordeaux glasses and make the most of it. I chose the latter.

Total excess, and an absurd luxury that I'll surely never experience again. It was as if the richest person in the world decided to have a final meal before going to the electric chair.

[zoramargolis]

A dear friend treated me to the chef's table at Citronelle for a milestone birthday. Since booking the table required six people, and she and J. and K and I only added up to four, my SIL and BIL came down from NYC for the evening. My friend consulted with Mark Slater beforehand about appropriate wines to drink. We started with a very good bottle of champagne, and had a separate bottle of fabulous wine for each course of the tasting menu--there were numerous courses. I can't even guess at the size of the bill, but it was a spectacular meal I will remember for the rest of my life.

[lovehockey]

This doesn't qualify under "extravagant" as defined by the above two posts, but it does work under "outrageous" and certainly expensive.

The most expensive meal I ever had was actually a Restaurant Week lunch at Capital Grille. While eating bread an already-in-trouble molar decided to break for good, and I therefore spent some quality time on the phone booking a trip to the dentist before I had a chance to eat the salad course. Therefore, the lunch was $20.12 + beverage + tax + tip + crown. And I wasn't overly impressed with my steak either.

[Tweaked]

DC Area: Joe H's Maestro Blow Out Dinner. Fabio Trabocchi basically threw everything in his Maestro arsenal at us. In terms of pacing it was over the top and too heavy, but damn it was delicious. Dishs included what are now considered Fabio classics, such as the lobster ravioli and his rework of Tournedos Rossini.

Non-DC Area: I would probably have to go with a tie.

Uri Buri in Akko, Israel. Widely considered one of the best seafood restaurants in Israel. The chef's tasting menu works this way: They keep bringing you food until you tell them to stop. We drove two and a half hours specifically to have lunch. 3 hours and 11 courses later we threw in the napkin.

Machneyuda in Jerusalem. Chef's table is one of the hardest reservations to score in Israel and you are rewarded with a riot of modern Israeli cooking (and arak). The finale is a giant platter of meat (bone marrow, tenderloin, kabob, lamb shank, lamb wrapped in caul fat). You are too full to even contemplate it, but that doesn't stop you from diving in. It's the closest I've ever come to a wafer thin mint moment.

[Waitman]

I did once drop $475 on lunch, by myself, as a walk-in, at The French Laundry ("you should have played the lottery today, you have excellent luck," said the maitre d' in a French accent that made things even more fun).

The best was lunch at Bouley, the morning after a Dead show at Madison Square. We ordered a Chablis Grand Cru and when the waiter went for the wine list we said "wait, we haven't ordered the red yet." Tom Wolfe was two tables down and two super models were having greens and expensive water next to us, but nobody else was drinking two bottles of Burgundy at lunch, and so free stuff just started appearing out of nowhere.

Of course, Craig Clairborne's legendary meal at Chez Denis -- behind the paywall, alas -- must be mentioned in a thread like this, and the summary is almost as good as the original article.

And Russell Bakers' response deserves a read, as well.

"For the meat course, I had fried bologna à la Nutley, Nouveau Jersey."

[TedE]

Extravagantly over-the-top meals at high-end places aren't really my thing so this will have to do.

Several years ago on our last day in Tokyo on a trip through Japan we were at the Tsukiji market for breakfast. We had started our trip the exact same way: at Sushi Dai, but jetlagged and not really into the rhythm of the culture (our first time to the Pacific Rim even) we'd settled for the set menu. This time I counted up our remaining yen, took about $50 worth out for last-minute gifts at Narita, and motioned for a calculator from the chef behind the counter as I'd observed many of the fish market workers do our first time there. I punched in a number corresponding to remaining cash on hand and handed it back. He raised an eyebrow, I nodded, then he went to work. The next 30 minutes or so was a parade of the best sushi I've ever eaten (average dwell time is 10-15 minutes for the 8 or 10 seats at this tiny, tiny place). I'm happy to report that I don't even know for sure what the f*ck half of it was (trying to decipher my notes later based on what he announced for each plate was hit or miss). But it was gloriously fresh, and some of it slid down my throat still wriggling.

All before 08:00 AM local time.

[DaveO]

Oh lordie:

Haven't thought about this for a while, but I flashed on several events from decades ago in my youth (when dope was cheap) and combining huge amts of dope with sometimes stolen lobster. Tres extravegent. Tres wrong on so many levels. But what debauchery LOL

[Barbara]

I did once drop $475 on lunch, by myself, as a walk-in, at The French Laundry ("you should have played the lottery today, you have excellent luck," said the maitre d' in a French accent that made things even more fun).

The best was lunch at Bouley, the morning after a Dead show at Madison Square. We ordered a Chablis Grand Cru and when the waiter went for the wine list we said "wait, we haven't ordered the red yet." Tom Wolfe was two tables down and two super models were having greens and expensive water next to us, but nobody else was drinking two bottles of Burgundy at lunch, and so free stuff just started appearing out of nowhere.

Of course, Craig Clairborne's legendary meal at Chez Denis -- behind the paywall, alas -- must be mentioned in a thread like this, and the summary is almost as good as the original article.

And Russell Bakers' response deserves a read, as well.

"For the meat course, I had fried bologna à la Nutley, Nouveau Jersey."

Thanks for reminding me how much I love me some Russell Baker. That link had me doubled-over with laughter. Particularly since it reminded me of what I believe was our most expensive meal. One which left me still hungry and insulted. No, I don't wish to reveal this, since it was a DR.com dinner and everyone else seems to have just loved the place--which no longer exists in its original form. Fancy that. Fortunately for me, I was able to regale (or bore) the late Mrs. B with my outrage one morning shortly afterward, when we met up one morning for coffee at Tryst.

[DaveO]

Having grown up down the road from Nutley, I would agree that fried bologna from Nutley, Nouveau Jersey is indeed a rare delicacy. I would be happy to put on my chef hat and prepare some for anyone at the going price of $800/serving. In fact if I rummage through the wine cellar I might find some vintage canned coke 1975, indeed a splendid year.