Changing Diapers in Restaurants

[mame11]

I have seen it all. Seriously. I now have.

Picture walking into Nam-Viet in Cleveland Park and seeing.... oh it is bad... a baby having its diaper changed in full view of the world on a seat WITHOUT a changing pad. The dad was even using a wipe.

My sister has kids. My other sister too. In the 16 years since I have been an aunt and 25 since I started babysitting, I have never considered changing diapers hygienic. Sure, I've changed a diaper in the back seat of a car, on the hood even (people don't worry it wasn't summer) but in a RESTAURANT on a SEAT??????

This was an only child situation so it wasn't like there was a gaggle of kids that needed to be watched.

The capper, the mom then breast fed without a blanket. (generally doesn't bother me anymore but combined with the diaper changing... they should have had delivery...)

ps... to BLB, this should make it easier to find a restaurant to take the little one... don't worry about diaper genies or changing tables in the bathrooms, just use the seat next to you.

[Walrus]

I have seen it all. Seriously. I now have.

Picture walking into Nam-Viet in Cleveland Park and seeing.... oh it is bad... a baby having its diaper changed in full view of the world on a seat WITHOUT a changing pad. The dad was even using a wipe.

My sister has kids. My other sister too. In the 16 years since I have been an aunt and 25 since I started babysitting, I have never considered changing diapers hygienic. Sure, I've changed a diaper in the back seat of a car, on the hood even (people don't worry it wasn't summer) but in a RESTAURANT on a SEAT??????

This was an only child situation so it wasn't like there was a gaggle of kids that needed to be watched.

The capper, the mom then breast fed without a blanket. (generally doesn't bother me anymore but combined with the diaper changing... they should have had delivery...)

ps... to BLB, this should make it easier to find a restaurant to take the little one... don't worry about diaper genies or changing tables in the bathrooms, just use the seat next to you.

We saw this happen in the airport -- some lady was changing her baby, without a pad, on the seats at the gate as the flight was boarding. She even put the dirty diaper on the seat until she was ready to toss it. I felt sorry for the two girls who sat there next! I don't have children, but I'd like to think that I'd at least do it in the space behind the counter wall with the flight info on it, and use a pad, and maybe even wash my hands!!!

[Andelman]

I have seen it all. Seriously. I now have.

Picture walking into Nam-Viet in Cleveland Park and seeing.... oh it is bad... a baby having its diaper changed in full view of the world on a seat WITHOUT a changing pad. The dad was even using a wipe.

My sister has kids. My other sister too. In the 16 years since I have been an aunt and 25 since I started babysitting, I have never considered changing diapers hygienic. Sure, I've changed a diaper in the back seat of a car, on the hood even (people don't worry it wasn't summer) but in a RESTAURANT on a SEAT??????

This was an only child situation so it wasn't like there was a gaggle of kids that needed to be watched.

The capper, the mom then breast fed without a blanket. (generally doesn't bother me anymore but combined with the diaper changing... they should have had delivery...)

ps... to BLB, this should make it easier to find a restaurant to take the little one... don't worry about diaper genies or changing tables in the bathrooms, just use the seat next to you.

Is this really that big of a deal? Maybe they forgot the changing pad. I am guessing that Nam-Viet doesnt have a changing table in the bathroom. I agree, maybe they could have been a little more discreet, but sometimes with kids you gotta do watcha gotta do. Would you have been equally annoyed if they had left the kid in its soiled diaper and it screamed throughout your meal?

Also, breast feeding without a blanket? BFD? My advice, don't look.

[mame11]

Is this really that big of a deal? Maybe they forgot the changing pad. I am guessing that Nam-Viet doesnt have a changing table in the bathroom. I agree, maybe they could have been a little more discreet, but sometimes with kids you gotta do watcha gotta do. Would you have been equally annoyed if they had left the kid in its soiled diaper and it screamed throughout your meal?

Actually it is a big deal. While I agree with the blanket comment, it goes with the theory that the public space is not private and a bit of discretion is advisable. The reason changing a diaper in public without consideration for cleanliness is a big deal is that it is not hygienic. As I wrote, I understand having to deal with true diaper disasters in awkward places. But just because there is no changing table in a bathroom does not mean that it is still not the place to do it.

So no, I think the couple in question acted inappropriately in changing the diaper at the TABLE on the chair in a place that serves food. The idea that you have to have the most convenient items in a bathroom is absurd and says more about the sense of entitlement the parents obviously feel than about the difficulties of parenting.

please note: had they used the stroller sitting near them as the changing table I would not have a real complaint. it was the use of the table and chair that I found inappropriate. Of course the most polite thing to do would be go to the bathroom or some other private place.

[bookluvingbabe]

A few comments:

Let's seperate the diaper changing and breastfeeding issue.

I am not going to cover up when I nurse-- I don't see it as a private act. Kid needs to eat just like the rest of us. I don't cover my head when I go out to eat. And the law in most states backs that up 100 percent. In 10 months of nursing here, there and everywhere the only negative comment I received was from a patron of a coffee house in St. Louis-- I think he said that he didn't know people still did that.

So BFD to that part of it. (And a special thanks to the incredible staff at all the dining establishments we have been to who haven't blinked when we walked in, who turned down the sound so I could get him to nap, and the special ones who smile in delight when they see us coming. Even better are those who razz us when we come in alone.)

As to changing a diaper: I have never changed him on a chair while we were eating. (Though an unnamed propriter mentioned that his/her booths were good for that when I was looking for a place to take him this week...). But we have changed him on the floor of the sanctuary of our religious congregation while other parents told us about how they had done the same thing back in the day. I know how messy he is and the days of diaper explosions and extra outfits are pretty much gone, we keep handwipes in the bag, and really if poop isn't dripping out of the diaper, I wouldn't freak out if another parent did the same thing next to me. Is that 10 months of sleep deprived jadedness talking? I don't know...

My two cents...

Jennifer

[Waitman]

Whether it's hygenic or not, no one wants to see shit while they're eating. Changing should be done out of site and out of smell.

Regarding breastfeeding, I think there's a whole thread on that somewhere. Like a lot of other perfectly legal and permissible acts, consideration should be given to the fact that others of a more conservative generation or region or religion might be put off and courteous discretion is advised.

[Heather]

Hm, I would fall in the "I'd rather die than change my kid at the table" camp.

But how hard is it for a restauranteur to put up a discreet diaper change thing? If they are worried that it will harm the aesthetic appeal of the bathroom , then it can be put up inside the handicapped stall. I see the latter option quite a bit, as most parents need extra room to cope. Maybe Adamson & Demetriou need to design a line of foldaway changing tables.

[Andelman]

Agreed, the changing of the diaper on the seat was perhaps inappropriate, and maybe they could have looked for a better place to do the deed. If there was a stroller present, then yes, they should have used the stroller. I guess I was a bit irked by your tone in regards to the entire incident. It was like it was the worst thing you had ever seen in your life. Having not been there, I don't feel very qualified to comment anymore on the situation, so I will leave it at that.

Also, I agree on the hygiene issue. If it was a "poop" diaper, by all means get the kid somewhere else and change the diaper. (I don't think this was the case, however).

The breastfeeding issue is another can of worms which I think should remain closed. I think people can tell by my previous post where I stand on that issue.

[Pool Boy]

Changing diapers anywhere near food or where people are eating is just bad, bad form. You just don't DO that. Go to the bathroom, go to the car, go to the Starbucks (isn't there one on every streetcorner now?), but do not ever do this in the dining area of a restaurant. Who wants to see that? Who wants to smell that? Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew.

Breastfeeding.....It's just a boob. But at the same time, I think it is not exactly discrete or classy, but whatever.

[dinwiddie]

Shame on any restaurant not haveing a changing space in the bathroom. I remember changing diapers on the space between a couple of sinks in the men's room when my son was an infant because there was no place else to do it. Now I see changing tables on the walls of mens rooms all the time (soemtimes times do change for the better.)

However, I agree, you shouldn't change a diaper on the table or near food in a restaurant. On the other hand, when I was a social worker (over 25 years ago) I kept a box of Pampers in my desk and was constantly changing diapers on my desk, but then I had to deal with newborns and young mothers who had no clue on a daily basis.

[Heather]

Breastfeeding.....It's just a boob. But at the same time, I think it is not exactly discrete or classy, but whatever.

Well there are two of them...however, they do form a unified system so maybe that was the right word.

I have nothing to say about the "classy" part of the sentence.

[Demetrius]

As the parent of two daugthers still in diapers, I have to agree that it is bad form to change a diaper in view of other diners.

I also have been surprised a number of times by restaurants that do not have a changing table and/or area in the men's or woman's bathrooms. I am not sure how expensive it is for a restaurant to purchase a changing table for its restrooms, but know that it certainly helps a parent out when we are called to care for our children.

[dmwine]

Many years ago at Paul Kee in Wheaton, I walked into the men's room to find a Chinese gentleman with the attire and cowlick to suggest he was fresh off the boat from the mainland, holding his small boy who was standing on the edge of the sink, baggy trousers around his ankles. The kid had good flow, something I appreciate even more as I get older. Having lived in Taiwan and Beijing and been used to footprints on toilet seats - if there were any seaters as opposed to squatters - I realized that these new arrivals merely needed some cultural acclimation. Still, I bolted from there, informed the manager, and have never been back. I think the place is still there though.

[Dave Pressley]

As a parent of a daughter still in diapers, I have to say that I'm surprised at the amount of "family" and "Kid-friendly" restaurants that don't have changing tables in the restrooms. There ought to be a law--if you offer highchairs, you should offer a changing table in each restroom. Simple. (Maybe when our senators are through investigating professional sports, they can move on to more important matters like this!)

[zoramargolis]

We travelled to Paris when Veggie-teen was twenty months old, in a stroller and diapers. What an adventure! It was early Spring, and still quite cold outside. We had been to the Picasso Museum in the Marais, and wandered into a nearby small café for lunch-- an ancient-style family-owned place, where the cooking was done in an open fireplace by the father, the mother ran the cash register at the zinc-topped bar, and the adult son was the waiter. Heaven! There was a quarter of beef on a heavy table by the fire, and the chef was cutting steaks and chops to order. The daily dessert choice, a plum tart, was sitting on the bar. They were, as was almost everyone we met in Paris, delighted by our beautiful baby. We were just about the only customers in the place. Partway through our meal, it became obvious that a diaper change was needed. Desperately. I asked to be directed to the restroom, and they pointed me out to the outdoor courtyard in the rear of the building, where I found a cubicle with a hole in the stone floor which served as the toilet, and a cold-water faucet with a miniature sink. I went back inside and managed to explain in my few words of French and lots of body language and mime, that I needed a place to change her diaper. The waiter suggested that I use one of the tables. Like "oh, no big deal"... But clearly, I indicated by pinching my nose, that this would not be a good option. He then sent me upstairs to the family apartment, where his wife was caring for their baby. I found a friendly woman, who spoke some English. She told me that the restaurant was at least two hundred years old. The current family had owned it since the 1930's. Like I said, quite an adventure.

[Malawry]

I hate it when there's no changing table and no room at the sink to change my son in a restaurant bathroom. I WILL NOT get on the floor of the bathroom to change him, nor will I change him anywhere in the dining room. I sometimes end up taking him out to the car.

Please, restaurateurs, put a changing table in the bathroom!

I have been to airports in Florida, Iceland, England and Illinois as well as around DC with my son, and all of them had decent changing facilities in the bathrooms, usually with small sink for handwashing and dedicated trash can. I am flummoxed at the concept of changing a baby on the seats outside a gate.

[Dmnkly]

Stay at home dad here (working nights) with a 14-month old son.

Even setting aside hygiene issues for a moment (just because they're cute doesn't mean their poop is any less capable of transmitting bacteria and disease), I'd NEVER do this for the same reason I won't hold a loud cell phone conversation or wear a lot of strong cologne (not that I do anyway) in a restaurant. It disrupts others' dining experience and it's rude. Would somebody changing a kid in the next booth bother me personally? Probably not. But just because I'm okay with it doesn't mean I think it's in any way reasonable to expect my fellow diners to be okay with seeing and smelling my kid's crap. I understand "you gotta do what you gotta do", but in 14 months despite frequently dining out I haven't, and I suspect if you feel you need to do THAT, you aren't looking hard enough for an alternative. We've gotten a little acrobatic at times in the bathroom or headed out to the car, but I've never subjected anybody else to his changes in a restaurant. I can't imagine what would make that a necessity, and I think it's just rude and inconsiderate.

Regarding changing tables in restrooms, I love them and I appreciate it when restaurants install them. And ladies, I have a LOT fewer of them to work with than you do, believe me. But good golly, the LAST thing we need is more legislation telling restaurants how they can and cannot run their business. If it's easier for me to bring the kid and change him without a hassle if need be, I'm more likely to return. They can choose to act or not act accordingly. End of story.

I don't have a right to change my kid wherever I want, I don't have a right to a changing table, and I don't have a right to disturb other diners. This means I go out to eat a whole lot less and to different places than I used to, and yeah, I hate it. But as far as I'm concerned, that's just part of having a kid. He's worth it.

[Andelman]

I guess I should chime in since I started this shitstorm. I am not saying that I would change my kids diapers in the restaurant, I agree it is a bit uncouth. However, if I saw someone else doing it, I wouldn't really care. It's in the same vein as the cellphone thing. I would never use my cellphone in a nice restaurant, I would excuse myself and take the call elsewhere. However, if I saw someone else taking a call, I wouldn't really give a shit. Complaining about all of these little things seems a little pointless to me.

So, in conclusion, I do not condone changing a diaper in a restaurant. I would not change my daughters diaper in a restaurant. I just don't think it is that big of a deal if someone else does.

[monavano]

Hold on....be back in a minute

......OK....carry on.

[Woodleygrrl]

A few rules should be followed

1) No strollers in the dinning room, or blocking the entrance. Leave it in the car.

2) No multimedia setup on the table so Timmy can watch DVD's.

3) No the kitchen can not warm up your nuggets or Tofu hotdogs.

4) No requesting to turn the music down because Timmy needs a nap, what about what I want. For that matter leave the enviornment, air and heat alone as well.

So with you dude. I would add to this list:

5) if your little preshus is screaming and fussing please take him for a walk outside and calm his little sweet self down.

In my mind this list does not apply when you are at a non'"fine dining" place. It is all on me if I go to CA Tortilla or Ruby Tuesdays and junior is acting up. But even there? I don't want to see your kid's crap. Gross man.

[Dark Wing]

Bottom-feeding investor.