Jump to content

Hosts on the Food Network


Dave Pressley

Recommended Posts

I found myself at home much of this past weekend (definitely not the norm) and while I was often cleaning, cooking or playing with my kid, I had the Food Network on in the background. There were exactly two times when I had to turn around after something caught my ear and rewind the DVR to hear some moronic "expert" say something so stupid, it made me want to jump into the TV set and punch them so hard in the throat so as to collapse their voicebox and prevent them from ever speaking again.

A lot of people obviously watch food being prepared on TV by a lot of personalities. A select few of them are professional chefs who are well-researched. Some of them smile WAY too much. Some of them wear nothing but bowling shirts and pronounce every single piece of food they shove into their face "The Absolute Best Thing I've Ever Eaten".

On to the things I heard that bothered me:

"Cold water boils faster than hot water."- Bobby Flay (Really? Want to bet your restaurant empire on that piece of info?)

...and when asked what exactly the definition of fish sauce was, the spiky haired dipstick, Guy Fieri, authoritatively replied that "fish sauce is that old bottle in the back of everyone's pantry that nobody uses, but it's really good stuff".

I think I'm officially done with this channel (except for Iron Chef). I need to save my anger for other things, like opening new DVD's and road rage. :mellow:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hate him. Watching that 'Diners and Drive-ins' show makes me want to barf.

It's too bad really. He seems to go to small, family-owned spots that could always use new business from the tourism industry, but because he pronounces everything to be his "new favorite food ever", he ends up diluting his own efforts to pay compliments to the restaurants he goes to.

That interesting fellow also had a cooking show where he focused on "manly food" where he also would make pitchers of the most fruity, frilly-garnished, poorly named (add "Tini" to any stupid word or phrase) drinks to "compliment" the food. Wha?!

I hate to rant, but oh well, I also watched this gentleman try to learn how to flip an egg in a pan on one of his shows over the weekend (he was unsuccessful). Maybe the Food Network shouldn't televise their "experts" displaying their obvious lack of cooking skills.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guy won the second season of "The Next Food Network Star."

That's right, he was just like one of the people who posts in the Shopping and Cooking thread on this very forum. Only difference is that he submitted a tape. Turned out people liked him, so they gave him some more shows. Maybe we should ask Zora (who should ABSOLUTELY submit a tape!!!) if she knows how to flip an egg in a pan, or would that risk exposing her as a turd?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guy won the second season of "The Next Food Network Star."

That's right, he was just like one of the people who posts in the Shopping and Cooking thread on this very forum. Only difference is that he submitted a tape. Turned out people liked him, so they gave him some more shows. Maybe we should ask Zora (who should ABSOLUTELY submit a tape!!!) if she knows how to flip an egg in a pan, or would that risk exposing her as a turd?

Dan, your faith in me is truly heartwarming...

As I recall, Guy Fieri owned a restaurant when he was a contestant. I do keep an eye on what's going on at the Food Network-- and aside from Paula Deen and Ina Garten, who are beloved survivors from years past, all of the new personalities appear to be no older than 40 and all the women are thin as a rail. Only male hosts are allowed to be chubby--I'm thinking about Guy Fieri, Duff Goldman, and Chris Cognac, the California cop, who doesn't appear to have been renewed.

So that rules me out. Come to think of it, maybe you should submit a tape--with your home-made pizzas as a theme.

And as for whether I can flip an egg... I have enough trouble doing it with a spatula. I'd try it, but I'm the one who'd have to clean the stove afterward, so I'll have to accept the Golden Turd award in this category...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Cold water boils faster than hot water."- Bobby Flay (Really? Want to bet your restaurant empire on that piece of info?)

To give him credit, he may have just been getting this mixed up with the (fairly) common adage "Hot water freezes faster than cold water". That actually can happen under some conditions (it was actually found, and named after, a schoolboy from Tanzania that noticed that his ice cream mixture straight from the boil froze faster than his classmates that were put into the same freezer but after allowing them to cool to room temperature before putting them in the freezer, more info here). However, even this adage isn't normally seen as the affect typically doesn't occur for cold water from a tap versus warm water from the tap in an ice cube tray.

Cold water actually -can- boil faster than hot water if the cold water was previously boiled and the water originally contained alot of impurities. But something tells me Bobby wasn't talking about pre-boiling your water so you can re-boil it later faster...

Long story short, he either was mixing it up with an effect that is real, though typically not seen in kitchen settings, or with an effect that would be very odd to duplicate in the kitchen.

And now that the science lesson of the day is over, we can return to the thread :-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So they kick out people like Mario and, yes, even Emeril, for charlatans like this? I knew the FN was deteriorating rapidly, but it now seems to have become a toxic slime trail of mediocrity and hucksterism.
well, in his (half-hearted) defense, it seems from my perhaps not-too-careful reading that this is stuff he told a "Florida socialite" [gad!] whilst trying to get into her purse, a la "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" or something, rather than stuff he told The Food Netork, not that THEY don't deserve it, too, for (among other things) the crimes you've pointed out.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

To give him credit, he may have just been getting this mixed up with the (fairly) common adage "Hot water freezes faster than cold water". That actually can happen under some conditions (it was actually found, and named after, a schoolboy from Tanzania that noticed that his ice cream mixture straight from the boil froze faster than his classmates that were put into the same freezer but after allowing them to cool to room temperature before putting them in the freezer, more info here). However, even this adage isn't normally seen as the affect typically doesn't occur for cold water from a tap versus warm water from the tap in an ice cube tray.

Cold water actually -can- boil faster than hot water if the cold water was previously boiled and the water originally contained alot of impurities. But something tells me Bobby wasn't talking about pre-boiling your water so you can re-boil it later faster...

Long story short, he either was mixing it up with an effect that is real, though typically not seen in kitchen settings, or with an effect that would be very odd to duplicate in the kitchen.

And now that the science lesson of the day is over, we can return to the thread :-)

That was a pretty interesting read! I had no idea hot water could freeze faster than cold water in certain situations.

In the Bobby Flay quote, he was definitely not referring to this effect. I forget the exact context in which he stated it, but he was definitely referring to boiling water from a cold temperature rather than hot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am rather curious as to why he feels the need to wear a sweat band on one arm or why he always wears sunglasses backwards on his head. Some sort of grasp at cool I'd imagine.
My guess is that he is trying to be 'punk rock' and/or appeal to Generation X. Maybe he is the Food Network's answer to Anthony Bourdain?

The problem with Guy is that he's more Avril Lavigne than Minor Threat. Not cool.

His affiliation with TGIFridays makes him even less appealing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My guess is that he is trying to be 'punk rock' and/or appeal to Generation X. Maybe he is the Food Network's answer to Anthony Bourdain?
At least so far this season Bourdain seems to be putting far less emphasis on the food and more on the travel. Take the Jamaica episode, even when it was about food it really was not about food. The Coronation Market scene had little or no mention of food, the music and cave segments made zero mentions of food. Even in the few scenes that were about food it took a back seat to his verbose ramblings about anything but the food.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

At least so far this season Bourdain seems to be putting far less emphasis on the food and more on the travel. Take the Jamaica episode, even when it was about food it really was not about food. The Coronation Market scene had little or no mention of food, the music and cave segments made zero mentions of food. Even in the few scenes that were about food it took a back seat to his verbose ramblings about anything but the food.

Yeah, I almost turned off the Romania episode last week. Zzzzzzzzzzz.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Next week AB goes back to the line at Les Halles, should be interesting...
I know someone who happened to be eating dinner there the night it was taped. He said that his meal was great but that's always the case when he eats there.

ETA Eric Ripert was in the kitchen with Bourdain that night.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ahhh...the good old days, when an admittedly camera shy Emeril stuttered and stopped his way through the original episodes of "The Essence", when a much thinner Mario cooked for a small crowd and seemed to impart volumes of knowledge on the waiting public. Having pondered the network many times I've come to the realization that TFN is trying very hard to cater to the notion that people don't have time to cook and that cooking is a chore, to be accomplished as fast as possible; whereas in the beginning it was about opening peoples eyes as to the possibilities of food (ohhhhhh look, I can do the same thing they do in their kitchens, but at HOME!!!!). Now they are trying to make everybody feel as if they can be a chef or at least cook a good meal, "I mean fu@@ if Rachel Ray can do that, I can!!" I'm all for the dissemination of information on cooking; for making it accessible for most people; for getting people back together again over food'; for making it healthier; for education. The problem is that the best information doesn't always come from the best teachers. I would really be excited to see more food driven shows about the food instead of the location or the theme or for christsakes "the tablescape". Thank God for Alton, he's the perfect example, smart, articulate, insanely knowledgeable about what he's doing AND accessible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I almost sent in a tape of me cooking with my kids -

A new show - "Family cooking with the kids" - Who thinks we have an emmy here.

Guy won the second season of "The Next Food Network Star."

That's right, he was just like one of the people who posts in the Shopping and Cooking thread on this very forum. Only difference is that he submitted a tape. Turned out people liked him, so they gave him some more shows. Maybe we should ask Zora (who should ABSOLUTELY submit a tape!!!) if she knows how to flip an egg in a pan, or would that risk exposing her as a turd?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just caught the tail end of something called (I think) "Down Home With the Neely's." I have no idea who they are, but someone ought to tell the female host not to use her tasting spoon to serve. Blech!
My husband had to turn the channel the one time I put this show on because he found her so irritating.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was standing on a street corner in midtown Manhattan last week and Guy Fieri walked by so close that I thought he was going to step on my toes. I did a double take when I realized who it was and started laughing. (He's rather short, btw.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A truly terrible show is Giada at Home (sorry Al). I watched one episode last week where she revisited her and Todd's vacation in Paris, from her Giada's Weekend Getaways series, and then created reinterpretations of the dishes they had while in Paris...the show was filled with sickly flashback scenes. It was awful.

Maybe they are taking it easy on her during new motherhood.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The only thing missing from this article is a link to the original FHM photo shoot. Maybe Dan Cole can help us out?

cheesecake factory?

rachel5.jpg

I don't subscribe to FHM, but I do have a copy of that one issue. Jenny McCarthy is on the cover. Screw that, I want the girl who makes $16,000,000 a year, cooks, sound like a phone sex operator, and clearly knows how to work a salami with her hands.

Plus she's 40 now.

Gonna go bag me a cougar.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am all for traveling around and finding new interesting diners and mom/pop joints in small towns but I agree everything is the best he has ever had. As a food authority, he is horrible. Also, what's up with that crazy looking kitchen he cooks from on his show. It's decked out in some kind of cheesy, carnival decor.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...