Dark Wing speaketh.
Perk up, legant: As you sleep off your drunken melancholy, I've ordered a three-day moratorium on Jimmy Castor Bunch's "Bertha Butt Boogie" within a 75-mile radius of the city.
Okay, that might not be your song, but it's a song, and surely this will spare someone else, somewhere, having to endure a similar evening - you should feel pretty good about that.