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Michael Landrum

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Everything posted by Michael Landrum

  1. Warning: NOT Suitable For Work! This shocking sex tape featuring Don having sex with Paris Hilton was just discovered at the Sherrif's Auction of the contents of the offices of the now defunct "**ckWell Productions". Behinds the scenes commentary by the on-set fluffer reveals that this entire scene was slowed down to give this a more realistic feel, making this Don's greatest, and longest-lasting, performance ever! In the "Making of" documentary footage also discovered, Don himself exclaimed, "Yes, that's EXACTLY how it happened. I remember it like it was yesterday, it's still so fresh--so raw. It's one of those moments that just plays over and over in your mind. It was like something out of my darkest, most twisted fantasies. It's amazing what we could get away with in those days." Again, Warning: Not Suitable for Children or Family Members! Prepare to be SHOCKED !
  2. Indeed, indeed. For the most part I concur with Charles, while not necessarily agreeing with him. Burgers are like sex and fishing lures (flies)--there is really no way to say exactly what is "right" or "best", just what gets the job done. I will say, though, that among many other considerations--chief among them that the Hell-Burger was an attempt to create a burger that cooked up and ate like a steak, and was intended to fill a negligible niche as a fun, small, side project and offshoot of what Ray's was already doing--the real reason behind the decision to offer a ten ounce burger was to privately honor the memory of Joel Siegel, who ate his last meal at Ray's: The Steaks and with whom I had a heated, furious, bitter, on-going (and entirely imaginary) Nabokov/Wilson-like feud based on his outrageous claim that I measured my original eight ounce burger from the taint, as it were, and to whose burgers I always added a couple of extra ounces just to shut him up while mocking him at the same time.
  3. Quote of the day from tartarus.com: "Can irony lost be regained?"
  4. By the way, I probably should be keeping this secret, and it is probably off-topic (why isn't there a shorter way to say that?) , but I was in one of my regular AOL chat rooms last night, "Foxes and Finances", and I heard about this web-site, The Motley Fool, which basically guarantees that we'll all be able to retire by, like, 50 max and that the Dow will soar past 25,000 in, like, five years tops. Now if these sites will ever develop the far-reaching impact and legacy of Yelp! is a whole other question...
  5. Just a quick announcement: A member of the board alerted me that he wasted a trip to Ray's The Steaks on Sunday because he hadn't realized we were closed. So to all of you who are not aware, Ray's: The Steaks is closed on Sunday. Sorry for the inconvenience.
  6. LYCOS search on you and NOTHING, erik and bloo boyeeeeee
  7. Well, after Tom's All Super Fabulous World...LOL!!!
  8. And all you people in Geo-Cities--Let me know what city ur in, because that's where I want to live (ALL CAPS!!!).
  9. So, after reading this thread, and after discussing the effects of macro-economics with my tight circle of High-Powered Executive-Class friends on LinkedIn that I met up with on Friendster.com and finding out what the general consensus was with the several groups whose blogs I religiously follow on Geo-Cities, I did a quick search on Lycos to find out what was really going on. Well, suffice it to say, that all my "links" on My-Space (whatever *that* is) led me to the one place, and the one place only--and that is the "GRIPES" section of Tom Sietsema's Pulitzer (or Beard, I forget which) winning chat--that really tells the truth. So all I can say, is that you are all wrong, according to Yelp. And thank god for Friendster, LinkedIn, Lycos, Geo-Cities, and TS's Super-Fabulous Chat for letting me know this. And to all my friends on ClassMates.com--I'm still waiting! And to all my friends on Friendster--You're (ur) the best!!!
  10. Burgers do not make money unless they are a part of what you are already doing. Sorry if you signed up for a franchise.
  11. And to Gunnar Heinsohn, recent events proving that his theories on "Youth Bulge" apply (correctly) to something other than the adolescent priapism that I endured well into my thirties. Not to mention his refreshingly sensible explanations of (non-Ishmaelite) anti-semitism as being rooted in the Jew's doing away with sacrifice as part of doing away with killing in general on principle.
  12. Just so Don does not get all excited and head over to 3905 Dix Street, NE, Washington, DC by mistake in his confusion, the dry-aged steaks are only available at Ray's: The Steaks, which is located at 2300 Wilson Boulevard (entrance on Clarendon) in Arlington, Virginia. ETA: This information may also be useful to a reader who is not a frequent participant on the board.
  13. That was not product placement, that was product immersion, or rather, something worse--the participants as worthless accessories subsumed by the products. I kept hoping that one of the "chef-"testants would say, "As desperate for fame and money as I am, even this is beneath me and I refuse to participate." And the judges would have no choice but to name him the real winner, and then resign in shame. I thought Colicchio decrying "fakeness" in his Diet Coke ads was pathetic (but slightly humorous as an inadvertent coming out), but this was worse. And who wants to hear an emasculated-by-choice Bourdain rail against "The Man" from the check-out aisle? (And don't even get me started on how pathetic he was cluelessly, clumsily, and artlessly pretending to butcher a pig in full-butch Pig-Macho mode). What a bunch of losers (The judges, I mean). In hip-hop, they distinguish between being a sell out and being out selling. These guys are just sell outs, all the more lame for claiming credibility. Why any young chef or aspiring restaurateur would hold this as a path to emulate is beyond me. What waits? A slot between Todd English and Rocco on QVC? Cooking demos on a cruise ship?
  14. It seems you missed Mahi Mayhem on Mondays, Taco Trauma on Tuesdays, Fish-Fry Frenzy on Fridays, and Sushi Sadness on Saturdays. On Sundays they rest.
  15. Let's hope they have better luck than I did the other night...cough, cough, ahem, ahem. Gotta say that whether it's for the ridiculous steal $30 three course special which puts our bistro special to shame, or an elegant dinner in the dining room, Corduroy keeps getting better and better with time and with each visit.
  16. "We put Rockwell's knowledge to the test and asked him to play culinary Cupid this Valentine's Day — especially for you, dear Express reader. Whether choosen for its fine foods or fancy decor, here are his most intimate and upscale restaurant picks for breakfast, lunch and dinner." New editor at the Post?
  17. Great. Now I've got THIS stuck in my head. (ETA: Actually, if you could peak inside my brain, Simpsons-style, this is a pretty close representation of what you would find most of the time, right down to the dancing bellhop-girls...)
  18. Thanks for the kind words, Joe. Come in and check out one of our (relatively) new dry-aged cuts that we hack off of the carcasses we have on display in our (relatively) new aging room. I won't say better, but I can definitely say that no steakhouse in the country is doing what we are doing. We are getting entire carcasses of all natural Angus, hung for over thirty days, directly from the farmer who raises them in Lexington, which we age for up to another week or so and then butcher into unique and proprietary versions of the classic bone-in cuts as well as some brand new cuts that we have come up with. Simply put a truly unique and original steak experience, unlike any other at any other steakhouse in the country. Might have a little too much funk to it for some people, though. (Believe it or not, with all of my shameless self-promoting here, I think this is the first time I have outright bragged about something we are doing--that's how excited I am). Still can't say much about the atmosphere though, and the service is still what it is--exactly what the vast majority of our guests are looking for--prompt, efficient and timely.
  19. Are you so sure that the City Paper reporting is accurate? I know that Casey has a much different explanation than what was represented in the article. I know personally that the owners of Taylor's are highly involved, deeply caring, and bring a stronger measure of integrity to their product than many restaurateurs I know. I also know that whatever measures they took in regards to their bread supply were genuinely well-intended and logistics-based, with no subterfuge intended whatsoever. Pretty strong charges of malfeasance and criminal activity here. It's not like they are serving domestic Angus/Wagyu blend and calling it Kobe at $50 a portion. Or, committing tax fraud and stealing from their employees. (Apparently, forgivable transgressions, unlike, say, calling A &J's Chinese dumplings dim sum). Every time I deal with the office/professional/government world, I come across a lot more incorrect, misleading, or un-updated information that what restaurants are continually excoriated for on their websites, etc. It's an eight dollar sandwich, people. And a delicious one at that.
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