Then please start promoting coffee milk! This needs to become a thing in DC.
For anyone not familiar with coffee milk, here's a little explanation.
I've been drinking a homemade version of this for years, without realizing it's a thing with a name (I'm not from Rhode Island). Grind coffee beans and steep them in water in the refrigerator for two days, strain, freeze in ice cube trays, and store in a zipper baggie in the freezer. Two cubes in a glass, microwaved at 20% power for two minutes, will melt without warming. Add sugar and milk and there you go, awesome mid-afternoon buzz on days you don't want a hot beverage.