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Found 5 results

  1. I'd love to say "Old / New" (2015) is "Patton Oswalt at his best," but it's really Patton Oswalt at his most typical: A medium talent, trying to be historically great, but settling into his usual, mildly amusing self.
  2. Speaking of advances in carbon and plastics in sports ... Why all this fire-and-brimstone crap? Why not high-speed drill technology, or Goldfinger's laser? Or The Agony Booth - wouldn't it be sufficient to stick someone in there and just leave them for all eternity? Do we still have nerves that cause pain after we die? That's sort of weird. Does an exact copy of our body magically appear somewhere deep beneath the Earth's surface? I mean, this makes for a good horror tale, but I'm not quite sure I buy it. James Joyce does a fine job at scaring the shit out of people: "Now let us try for a moment to realize, as far as we can, the nature of that abode of the damned which the justice of an offended God has called into existence for the eternal punishment of sinners. Hell is a strait and dark and foul-smelling prison, an abode of demons and lost souls, filled with fire and smoke. The straitness of this prison house is expressly designed by God to punish those who refused to be bound by His laws. In earthly prisons the poor captive has at least some liberty of movement, were it only within the four walls of his cell or in the gloomy yard of his prison. Not so in hell. There, by reason of the great number of the damned, the prisoners are heaped together in their awful prison, the walls of which are said to be four thousand miles thick: and the damned are so utterly bound and helpless that, as a blessed saint, saint Anselm, writes in his book on similitudes, they are not even able to remove from the eye a worm that gnaws it." Seriously, what the hell have I done to deserve *this*? If God came floating through my door *right now*, I'd abandon all my worldly possessions, give him a blowjob, and essentially do whatever the hell he wanted me to do, no matter what it was (with my luck, it would turn out to be some horny space alien, masquerading as God) - but nobody other than my fellow human beings has ever given me orders about how I'm supposed to live my life! Kind of unfair to humanity, to have terrified them for so many millenia, don't you think? I mean, living for merely 80 years in an infinity of time is bad enough on its own (and if anyone believes "the universe is 15-billion years old," they're wrong). This "universe" is nothing more than a blip, and just because our puny brains don't understand infinity, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Is "time" ever going to end? Did it have a beginning? I don't think so. The "Big Bang" might have been "an event," but it was one of an infinite number of events. No, I can't prove it, but that makes about as much sense as rotting in hell (actually, if you "rot" in hell, then it wouldn't be eternal, would it?) If you think about it, "eternity" is another word for "infinity," and that surely stretches backwards as well as forwards (and probably sideways, and through other dimensions) - why wouldn't it? That kind of puts the kibosh on the seven-day theory, don't you think? --- On a related note, I like "The Little Bird of Svithjod" as a visualization technique for "eternity": High up in the north, in the land called Svithjod, there stands a rock. It is a hundred miles high and a hundred miles wide. Once every thousand years a little bird comes to this rock to sharpen its beak. When the rock has thus been worn away, then a single day of eternity will have gone by. From The Story of Mankind by Hendrik Willem Van Loon [The link just above calculates "one day in eternity" as 4.2 octillion years, FWIW. That number can be written as follows: 4,200,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000] --- I wonder what Zeus has to say about all of this. "Fucking pecker, coming along and trying to usurp me!" It's like what James Hunt must have thought about Niki Lauda.
  3. It's a sobering thought, realizing that 15+ billion years went by without you being alive, and who-knows-how-many billions of years will pass after you're no longer alive. Talk about a blip in time! Being non-existent doesn't bother me; dying to me don't sound like all that much fun, Don Cougar PS - If you want to die early, fixate on visualizing the beginning of time, or the end of space. Like a cat trying to understand calculus. Moral of the story: Treat yo'self.
  4. Most people reading this have made some sort of comment, statement, or joke about "The Zombie Apocalypse" in the past few years - if you haven't, then you've probably heard or read it, spoken or written by someone you know. Either way, you didn't give it a second thought, or at most, you thought to yourself, 'Meh, dead metaphor.' (Yes, pun intended - sorry!) But suppose the zombie apocalypse actually happened? Suppose that every single person you knew most likely had a friend or relative that was killed and devoured by flesh-eating zombies. Would it still be okay to joke about "The Zombie Apocalypse?" Of course it wouldn't - it would be like joking about the Bubonic Plague while it was going on, and people were dying all around you. At some earlier point, you considered it a benign subject, and okay to joke about. Then, when social pressure against you began, maybe you even learned to hate anything associated with it, because your entire thought process was in danger of permanently being infringed upon - that's Point A. But then, at some point, it became readily apparent that this was no laughing matter, it wasn't going away, and you no longer considered it okay to joke about - that's Point B. The bad news: It takes certain people longer to get from Point A to Point B than other people - sometimes a lot longer: years or decades longer. The good news: Once you're at Point B, you almost never return to Point A.
  5. My mother is really ill and seems to just be 'floating'. To explain: She had some abdominal issues that got out of hand, resulting in sepsis and surgery. In the month since surgery, she hasn't eaten. She originally went to a rehabilitation center after surgery, but with no eating, there's no energy available to spend on rehabbing. Her mind is pretty sharp most days while her body has withered. She's back to the hospital now and getting IV nutrition and undergoing tests everyday... It has me questioning - what is life? Where's the line between life and...not life? I visit and talk to her...and the doctors are searching for a solution. It just feels like a cycle that we can't figure out how to break. A bit of eaten food would maybe give her a bit of energy, which would give her some ability to rehab a little bit, even if just lifting her legs. In turn, that might stimulate some more hunger and the cycle would improve every day. It's like we're stuck on the shoulder of freeway, watching all the other cars wiz by when all we need is a spark to turn the engine the first time. At what point does a person decide that they're on the exit ramp, not the shoulder? I'm not the hard core foodie some of you are and I've never wanted a person to eat - just a bite or two - like this before. This life in limbo, represented by the lack of eating, seems awful. You all seem to have every food answer. I could use one now!
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