Breast Feeding in Restaurants?

[Al Dente]

Coming soon to the menu at Hooter's:

Those crazy Swiss...

[Waitman]

Coming soon to the menu at Hooter's:

Those crazy Swiss...

New dream job: "forager" for Storchen restaurant.

Or maybe not.

[lackadaisi]

Gross!

[zoramargolis]

"They are not on the list of approved species such as cows and sheep, but they are also not on the list of the banned species such as apes and primates," Rolf Etter of the Zurich food control laboratory said.

So, humans aren't primates? What are we then--chopped liver?

[Waitman]

Don't ask about the blood sausages.

[DameEdna]

"About the placenta, is it fresh?"

Hey, if it is good enough for Tom Cruise ...

[Waitman]

"About the placenta, is it fresh?"

Hey, if it is good enough for Tom Cruise ...

From Saturday Night Live [axed by the censors]

Laraine: By the way, are you planning to eat the placenta?

Gilda: You're kidding! You mean the afterbirth?

Laraine: That's right. Many mammals eat their own placenta. It's nutritious, it's 100 percent natural, and now that you're going to have a family, you've got to watch your food budget more than ever. And there's no cheaper meat than placenta.

Gilda: But is there enough placenta to make a complete meal for my husband and myself?

Laraine: Not if your husband has a hearty appetite like mine. And that's why you need Placenta Helper.

Gilda: Placenta Helper?

Laraine: That's right. Placenta Helper lets you stretch your placenta into a tasty casserole. [Holds up a box of Placenta Helper.] Like Placenta Romanoff--a zesty blend of cheeses makes for the zingy sauce that Russian czars commanded at palace feasts. Or Placenta Oriental. An exotic mixture of oriental vegetables and exotic herbs and spices creates an exotic meal. Look, you can have placenta only once every nine months. Why not make a rare occasion, a rare occasion?

[CUT TO: Gilda's kitchen. John Belushi, as her husband, has just finished his placenta casserole.]

John: Ummm. That was great. Let's have Placenta Helper every night.

Gilda: Oh, honey!

[SeanMike]

I remember seeing a British show where they talked about people who ate their placenta afterbirth.

My favorite was the vegetarian who ate the placenta pate - "after all, no animals were harmed in making this!"

[Heather]

I feel compelled to link this "Steve Don't Eat it" post on thesneeze.com.

Well, I did feel the need to find the appropriate glass. Drinking it from a baby bottle seemed too on the nose (not to mention too creepy), and I didn't have enough milk to justify a martini glass. (Although with a splash of Bailey's I suppose you'd have yourself a nice "Nippletini.")

[Al Dente]

"This is the breast soup I've ever had!"

[Al Dente]

More info here:

Hans Locher

antelope steak with chanterelle sauce with breast milk and cognac

“The idea first came to me when I noticed there were many young mothers in our village, some of them single,” he said. “I thought to myself, why not make use of their potential? I served the meals to my friends without telling them about the new ingredient and the feedback was excellent.”

What do these young mothers receive for their troubles?

around $7 for every 14 ounces of milk

[zoramargolis]

I feel compelled to link this "Steve Don't Eat it" post on thesneeze.com.

The squeamishness expressed is both bizarre and fascinating from a psychodynamic and anthropological perspective. First, let's get the facts right out here: breast milk is delicious. Our first food is extremely sweet, the origin no doubt for the typical human's lifelong love of sweets and sugary treats. Babies and toddlers who are lucky enough to be given regular access to it are extremely reluctant to give it up--it's one of the big factors for why weaning is a challenging issue for many babies. While "Steve" reassures himself that he is manly by deciding to drink some breast milk out of a shot glass, he so shudders at the thought of downing it that he has to disguise it with chocolate syrup. And he is quick to assure readers that he is no baby who is conflicted about his yearning to return to his mother's breast--he's a manly man whose primary interest in breasts (just his wife's, of course, she's going to be reading his blog) is their ability to provide him with sexual stimulation.

Uhhh, and what does Steve suppose is the evolutionary function of hominid males' fascination with and fixation on the breasts of the hominid female? And why the sight of them gets him and other guys horny? It's the perpetuation of the species, dude. This hot babe has what it takes to feed my offspring so they will survive and thrive. The female corollary is the afrodisiac of the big man or the man with the big bank account.

[DanCole42]

The squeamishness expressed is both bizarre and fascinating from a psychodynamic and anthropological perspective. First, let's get the facts right out here: breast milk is delicious. Our first food is extremely sweet, the origin no doubt for the typical human's lifelong love of sweets and sugary treats. Babies and toddlers who are lucky enough to be given regular access to it are extremely reluctant to give it up--it's one of the big factors for why weaning is a challenging issue for many babies. While "Steve" reassures himself that he is manly by deciding to drink some breast milk out of a shot glass, he so shudders at the thought of downing it that he has to disguise it with chocolate syrup. And he is quick to assure readers that he is no baby who is conflicted about his yearning to return to his mother's breast--he's a manly man whose primary interest in breasts (just his wife's, of course, she's going to be reading his blog) is their ability to provide him with sexual stimulation.

Uhhh, and what does Steve suppose is the evolutionary function of hominid males' fascination with and fixation on the breasts of the hominid female? And why the sight of them gets him and other guys horny? It's the perpetuation of the species, dude. This hot babe has what it takes to feed my offspring so they will survive and thrive. The female corollary is the afrodisiac of the big man or the man with the big bank account.

Homo sapiens are the only mammals capable of metabolizing lactose after the weaning period. The ability to produce lactase (the enzyme that breaks down lactose into its more digestible and less flatulence-inducing monomers) well into the adult years is one of mankind's most recent evolutionary mutations, having occurred independently in Northern Europe and East Africa within the last 4,000-5,000 years.

As mammals develop independence through maturity, the need to digest their mothers' milk decreases. If they can forage or hunt, there's no need to nurse, so lactase production drops off.

As humanity developed agriculture, it became possible to extract considerably more calories from domesticated animals by milking them rather than simply slaughtering them. Thus, humans dwelling in regions where goats, sheep, and cattle were readily available developed the ability to continue lactase production into adulthood, leading to a community that was able to more successfully make use of available resources.

Biologically, there's no reason we can't drink human milk well into adulthood. Socially, there's no reason we can't find it abhorrent. Of course, like all social taboos, that reason is often no more than simply because it happens to be a taboo.

Fun fact: Mammaries evolved from sweat glands. Please enjoy Wikipedia's "Gallery o' Breastfeeding."

[Mrs. B]

The female corollary is the afrodisiac of the big man or the man with the big bank account.

So true

[DanielK]

Biologically, there's no reason we can't drink human milk well into adulthood.

Not entirely true. Since the evolution is only the last few thousand years, our bodies are not great at processing lactose past childhood. Actually, the problem is not really with the lactose, but with the complex protein chains that are in lactose.

Most people who thing they are lactose intolerant in fact just don't have the ability to break down the complex protein chains that go along with lactose in cow's milk. Sheep's milk and goat's milk have much simpler protein chains, and are far easier for people to digest.

[DanCole42]

Not entirely true. Since the evolution is only the last few thousand years, our bodies are not great at processing lactose past childhood. Actually, the problem is not really with the lactose, but with the complex protein chains that are in lactose.

Most people who thing they are lactose intolerant in fact just don't have the ability to break down the complex protein chains that go along with lactose in cow's milk. Sheep's milk and goat's milk have much simpler protein chains, and are far easier for people to digest.

Well, the important part is that I personally am lucky enough to be absolutely fantastic at digesting all manner of milk products from a variety of animals.

Humans included, presumably.

[Banco]

I pump myself up and suck my tits!

[Waitman]

And now, for dessert...