Arduous Journeys To The Restroom

[DonRocks]

Gold Medal: Poste (the damndest hike I've ever seen)

Silver: Dish (through firedoor, down stairs, past vending machines)

A few candidates for Bronze: Cactus Cantina, Circle Bistro, Citronelle Lounge, Pulcinella, Restaurant Eve ("creak, creak")

Of course there's always this.

Subtopic. Where to pull over when you're desperate: 7th St & Indiana Ave Penn Quarter (Starbucks), Potomac St & M St Georgetown (Dean & DeLuca), 18th & Pee Street Dupont (Biddy Mulligan's)

[TedE]

I'm assuming this one from the Snap thread qualifies :

Oddly enough, it SHOULD have a restroom since it offers seating but the owner said there wasn't one and directed us to Barnes and Noble instead

Any other off-premise, open air strolls to the loo that could match that one?

[Tweaked]

Bronze nomination: Corduroy Leave the restaurant, hang a right, down the hall, just past the gym.

[JPW]

Bronze nomination:  Corduroy Leave the restaurant, hang a right, down the hall, just past the gym.

Yeah, I've noticed that it tends to put a damper on my gustatory orgies when I walk past the gym.

Another (bar) candidate that I believe Stretch can elucidate on -- Timberlakes.

I've almost fallen down those stairs and broken my neck on more than one occasion.

[Jacques Gastreaux]

Yeah, I've noticed that it tends to put a damper on my gustatory orgies when I walk past the gym.

Another (bar) candidate that I believe Stretch can elucidate on -- Timberlakes.

I've almost fallen down those stairs and broken my neck on more than one occasion.

My understanding is that Stretch's problems arose (pun intended) once he got to the bottom of those steps.

Edited September 14, 2005 by Jacques Gastreaux

[shogun]

Citronelle Lounge

This one time we were there late for drinks, and I went to the bathroom and got locked out of the restaurant!

[Heather]

BdC. I don't know whether going up or down is more treacherous. Scary even when not hammered.

[Gastro888]

Eating in any of the little hole in the wall restaurants in Saigon West or Saigon East in Eden Center and having to use the communal restroom in the strip malls. <sighs>

So not kosher dilly!

[Stretch]

Stoneys. Fight your way upstairs through the Sysco crates into a stall so small the door hits you on the ass. God knows what the Ladies must be like.

Archies. Costs you two dollars every time you walk that way.

[Tweaked]

Crap!

[Pat]

Bronze nomination:  Corduroy Leave the restaurant, hang a right, down the hall, just past the gym.

I think hotels are the most difficult, due to the design. I tend to get lost going to the restroom at Bis. When I'm not paying attention at Corduroy, I end up in the little side hallway that goes by the rooms.

My worst experience was a restaurant in Chicago (I forget the name). It was attached to a hotel, and getting to the restroom entailed taking an elevator to another floor. I managed to get to the restroom eventually but didn't think I was ever going to find my way back to my table.

[Mark Slater]

Another (bar) candidate that I believe Stretch can elucidate on -- Timberlakes.

I've almost fallen down those stairs and broken my neck on more than one occasion.

The stairs at Timberlake's are considered a Rite of Passage in some circles.

[JimRice]

My worst experience was a restaurant in Chicago (I forget the name).  It was attached to a hotel, and getting to the restroom entailed taking an elevator to another floor.  I managed to get to the restroom eventually but didn't think I was ever going to find my way back to my table.

Rincome Thai in Arlington is purported to have the same thing and it's in a Days Inn.

(edited to remove triple-space)

Edited September 14, 2005 by JimRice

[Nadya]

The stairs at Timberlake's are considered a Rite of Passage in some circles. 

In bloody four-inch stilettos after four kir royales at BdC. Take That!

[goldenticket]

Restaurant Eve ("creak, creak")

Ah yes, those stairs at Restaurant Eve - not so bad going up, but coming out of the ladies room at the top of those VERY steep stairs, oh say, about 2/3 of the way through the 9 course tasting menu WITH wine pairing, all of which has been VERY generously poured by M. Thrasher.... (what, not finish every drop of what's poured for me - perish the thought!)

Well, let's just say my descent was accompanied by a little "Please don't let me fall on my ass, please don't let me...." mantra until I safely arrived on the ground floor (still standing).

[oliveDC]

BdC.  I don't know whether going up or down is more treacherous.  Scary even when not hammered.

Agreed. And oh the horror and scene if you happened to fall...

[mktye]

Mendocino. Not too distant or terribly arduous, but I always expect to see some hobbits while on the journey down to the restrooms.

The only time I've eaten at Eve, we were at the table in the Bistro that has a view (through a window) into the sink area of one of the restrooms. We could see who washed their hands and who abstained.

Conversely, my favorite area restaurant restroom -- Oyamel. The stalls are like stepping into a Frida Kahlo painting.

[oliveDC]

Digessing from our fair city, does anyone have memories from using the toilette at Cafe du Monde in New Orleans? It's basically in the kitchen and you have to stand flat against the wall as servers rush past with trays shedding clouds of powdered sugar. Then you get to the actual 4x4 foot WC in all its grimy graffiti-ed glory.

[hillvalley]

Ah yes, those stairs at Restaurant Eve - not so bad going up, but coming out of the ladies room at the top of those VERY steep stairs, oh say, about 2/3 of the way through the 9 course tasting menu WITH wine pairing, all of which has been VERY generously poured by M. Thrasher.... (what, not finish every drop of what's poured for me - perish the thought!)

Well, let's just say my descent was accompanied by a little "Please don't let me fall on my ass, please don't let me...." mantra until I safely arrived on the ground floor (still standing). 

uh, yeah, we won't talk about my birthday when I missed a step going up after the champagne, wine, cocktail Thanks heavens it is narrow and you can hold on to both rails.

She who has higher heals has right of way.

[ScotteeM]

I have to second the vote for Rincome. It is in a Days Inn, and you have to exit the restaurant and take the motel elevator--my recollection is that some walking outdoors was involved, but it was a while ago.

The Spanish tapas restaurant on Wilson Blvd. in Arlington was a trial for me with my vertigo and inability to walk up stairs. The restroom is two very high, open storeys above the main floor, and the elevator is at the opposite end of the upper floor from the restroom behind the bar. The Sangria actually enhanced the experience for me.

And then there is a little diner, name forgotten, outside of Missoula, MT, where the stall doors in the ladies' room were artfully replaced with ripped lace curtains that didn't quite reach across or down. Kind of a symbolic barrier (like Les Nessman's office walls). But their homemade strawberry jam was amazing!

ScotteeM

[JLK]

I recently dined at Bistro Bis for the first time (excellent meal), but like a lot of restaurants in hotels, the bathroom requires a mini-trek. Some stairs, a landing with a few doors, insert Alice in Wonderland woozy feeling here.

When I lived in NYC, I loved taking visiting relatives to Jekyll and Hyde in Greenwich Village. The food was nothing at all to write home about, but after a beer or two, I would find their search for the bathroom - hidden in a hallway made to look like shelves and shelves of books - endlessly amusing.

[giant shrimp]

i am glad to hear that poste gets the gold medal. our son was gone from the table for so long that we suspected he had started smoking again.

[Woodleygrrl]

The Raven in Mount P has great johns. What really makes it is the graffiti. My favorite recent addition in the ladies room is, "If you have to take a cab here you don't belong here."

[joncephine]

The Delhi Club in Arlington - their bathrooms are downstairs, which isn't the issue. The issue is that the stairs start IMMEDIATELY on the other side of the door. So, when you see the girl who opens the door marked "Restrooms" and then immediately falls down the stairs, know that you've found me.

[ol_ironstomach]

Rainbow, a delicious Senegalese hole-in-the-wall in Old Town Gaithersburg, has one of those epic trekking routes out the back which leads you along a trail of signs, around some corners and down some hallways, only to arrive at an office building restroom which is locked (you need a key from the front counter, not mentioned on the signs) sending you back to repeat the route a second time. As it is customary in West African cuisine to sauce and eat the sticky starch item using your hands, this is basically a non-optional trek both before and after the meal.

[lizzie]

Perry's - first you pull your heels out of the space between the wood planks on the deck, and then you slide as gracefully as possible down to the bathroom level, all the while hoping that a large crowd or food server doesn't start the trek up..

Re an earlier comment on Oyamel (Conversely, my favorite area restaurant restroom -- Oyamel. The stalls are like stepping into a Frida Kahlo painting.). My 11 year old refuses to go to the bathroom there - she believes it is the stuff of which nightmares are made.

[JLK]

The bathroom at Perry's creeps me out. Reminds me of a very, very old high school bathroom or something.

Perry's - first you pull your heels out of the space between the wood planks on the deck, and then you slide as gracefully as possible down to the bathroom level, all the while hoping that a large crowd or food server doesn't start the trek up..

[goldenticket]

The Delhi Club in Arlington - their bathrooms are downstairs, which isn't the issue. The issue is that the stairs start IMMEDIATELY on the other side of the door. So, when you see the girl who opens the door marked "Restrooms" and then immediately falls down the stairs, know that you've found me.

Oh yeah! This is one scary entrance to a stairwell - all I could think was what a liability it is. There's no warning at all about the stairs being RIGHTTHERE (and steep to boot)!

[Sthitch]

Sergio's in Silver Spring requires you to leave the restaurant, and go up three flights of stairs to get to the hotel's public restroom.

[PollyG]

My husband spotted this in the men's room at the M&S in Reston on 7-15-07. I will remember this whenever I wonder why he carries a camera at all times.

[Roger Troutman]

The restrooms at the District Chophouse are hidden away in the basement, and you must take the tiny, slow elevator to get there. The stairs are locked down. And the basement area has a very creepy vibe, especially when the private dining room down there is empty.

[JLK]

The restrooms at the District Chophouse are hidden away in the basement, and you must take the tiny, slow elevator to get there. The stairs are locked down. And the basement area has a very creepy vibe, especially when the private dining room down there is empty.

That has freaked me on the several occasions I have been dragged to the Chophouse. What if there were a fire??

[Nutty Buddy]

Citronelle Lounge: JPW and I were there Friday and I walked down to the restaurant to use the restroom and was blocked at the desk and told to go down the hall to the left. But, I'm thinking, that's not the way to the bathroom. I felt like a second class citizen. I walked down the dark hallway past empty glass enclosed private dining rooms until I finally reached the bathroom. Despite the hall of mirrors feeling of the dining rooms, I made my way back. I asked JPW if he had been banished to the Siberian bathrooms too when he excused himself earlier but he said he just walked straight to the restaurant's bathrooms! Doouugghhh!

[lackadaisi]

Citronelle Lounge: JPW and I were there Friday and I walked down to the restaurant to use the restroom and was blocked at the desk and told to go down the hall to the left. But, I'm thinking, that's not the way to the bathroom. I felt like a second class citizen. I walked down the dark hallway past empty glass enclosed private dining rooms until I finally reached the bathroom. Despite the hall of mirrors feeling of the dining rooms, I made my way back. I asked JPW if he had been banished to the Siberian bathrooms too when he excused himself earlier but he said he just walked straight to the restaurant's bathrooms! Doouugghhh!

I was under the belief that the bathroom to use at Citronelle lounge is the hotel bathroom located down the lobby elevator on floor 2 (yes, floor 2 is down). As much as this is a bit inconvenient, it seems a ton better for the restaurant guests, who - at the rate they are paying - should not have to be subjected to tons of people traipsing through from the more casual lounge.

[Scott Johnston]

With the popularity of the "Where did you eat" thread. I thought it is only fair that we play equal time to the results of that meal. I want to compile a list of great bathrooms in the metro area, compiled by intersections, in case anyone would like to print a guide.

To start things off…Where did you poop today?

[pax]

When in extremis, waltz into a nice hotel like you own the place, march directly to the restaurant, which is usually clearly signed, and voila....a reasonably clean bathroom.

[Mark Slater]

[synaesthesia]

in your soup.

on a boat

with a goat.

in the rain

on a train

in a box

with a fox.

in a house

with a mouse.

here and there.

ANYWHERE!

[dcandohio]

With the popularity of the "Where did you eat" thread. I thought it is only fair that we play equal time to the results of that meal. I want to compile a list of great bathrooms in the metro area, compiled by intersections, in case anyone would like to print a guide.

To start things off…Where did you poop today?

This is an excellent idea. Sometimes, you know, you have to go. Some of my particular favorites are the Smithsonians, particularly the less crowded ones like the Freer and the Sackler. The Teasim at 8th and D (right in the main dining area, easily visible). The food court at National Place (right near Five Guys). The lobby of that hotel (I forget which one) across from Acadiana - on 7th and Mass, I think. The lobby of Loew's L'Enfant Plaza. If you're walking along the waterfront, the restroom at Phillips is quite convenient - just past the reception desk. It's always such a madhouse in there that no one notices if you are are aren't dining. The Four Seasons in G'town - walk into the lobby and go boldly down the stairs to the lower level. Both DC Filene's basements.

[hungry prof]

(right in the main dining area, easily visible).

You do know you can get arrested for that, right?

[tripewriter]

Damn, I am so jealous. I forgot to eat my Fiber One this morning.

Does hand washing count?

In any case, for ambiance, nothing can beat the men's at Proof, especially after swilling a full flight from the champagne cart.

[chickenlover]

In Gallery Place, the Portrait Gallery's restrooms are located conveniently close to the front exit.

[Spiral Stairs]

Proof does indeed offer a lovely experience in evacuation.

Zengo, if I recall correctly, has private stall-rooms. So you can go in there for hours.

[DanCole42]

This is a little off topic, but I've thrown up in some of the nicest bathrooms in town: 2941 and Equinox.

In my defense, it wasn't entirely because of the booze. Really, I just wanted to make room for dessert.

[dcandohio]

In any case, for ambiance, nothing can beat the men's at Proof, especially after swilling a full flight from the champagne cart.

I didn't know we were talking ambiance...I just thought we were talking about necessity. Rasika, Zaytinya, Zola (cool swinging door), 701...good ambiance. The most inconvenient bathroom has to be at Poste - you have to use the elevator and it's tricky to find it after getting to the correct floor. It's also fun to go to Cafe Asia (DC, not VA) to the unisex to watch people try to figure out which stalls are for men and which are for women. The scariest climb to a bathroom is a tie between the upstairs bathroom at Tabard and the one at Bistrot du Coin.

[Al Dente]

Is Rocks out of town or something without access to the internets?

As with all phenomenally attractive people, I simply do not create any form of excrement. I know what you're thinking-- then I'm full of it, right?

Hah!

[Meaghan]

On the white carpet, near the glowing picture box that the humans stare at night time, while eating snacks. I'm sorry.

[synaesthesia]

With all the mention of Proof's restrooms, I have to say I do find the metal toilets a little strange. It's like you're pooping in a can... oh wait... you are.

[Sthitch]

I think that Ruby's Bar and Grill on Coney Island takes the prize for the most Arduous Journeys Out of the Restroom.

[ol_ironstomach]

With all the mention of Proof's restrooms, I have to say I do find the metal toilets a little strange. It's like you're pooping in a can... oh wait... you are.

They've been en vogue ever since Netscape co-founder Jamie Zawinski chose one-piece prison toilets (although in this context, "suicide Proof!" takes on a funnier meaning) for his renovation of San Francisco's DNA Lounge in 2000, and then blogged about it.