Etiquette, The Two-Way Street

[Nadya]

It is common knowledge that man does not come to restaurant just to eat. As Derek used to ever so wittily remind us, there frequently must be a beverage as well. In fact, most establishments will gladly serve you a wide variety of beverages of varying strength, color and taste. For your convenience, these beverages are described in a nifty compendium. It resembles a large folio and is commonly known as a “wine list.”

Most restaurants have it. Most people have handled it at some point in their lives. So why is it that the distribution of wine lists to diners at tables is often an eyebrow-raising matter?

At least once every night, I will star in a little tableside production that unfolds as follows.

The party walks in, announces itself and is taken to their table. Guests settle comfortably in their chairs and begin browsing menus the second they get them. But wait. The hostess isn’t leaving. There must be something else.

Meanwhile, I am standing by the table with an outstretched hand proffering a thick leather-bound wine list of not insignificant weight. The hand is cunningly placed to hover over the very center of the table so as to give everyone equal opportunity to take the wine list and lord forgive, not to perpetuate the stereotype that people who order wine must have a penis. (This scenario assumes there isn’t an immediately obvious host in the party.)

The guests continue browsing menus, as if sunk in blissful reverie. I am standing there, still holding the list, and the bicep curve on my outstretched arm is swelling slightly. That folio, you know, weighs quite a bit more than the folded Food section. “And here’s a wine list for you,” I say for the fourth time, a tad louder than the last three times.

Finally, the party members raise their eyes from their menus. Desperate darting of eyes across faces ensues. “The wine list? The wine list? Oh horror of horrors. What shall I do?? Shall I smile pleasantly and wait for someone else to take it? Or shall I grab it? Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Why is she still standing there?”

Eventually, someone will save me from my misery. But I tell you, I tell you. Sometimes one is sorely tempted, after about fifteen seconds of holding the wine list aloft the table amid the ignored offers to take it, to open one’s fingers and let the bloody thing tumble down on the candles and shakers and the napkins.

Please. It’s not just about the food. Frequently, there must also be a beverage. Take the wine list. Don’t tempt me.

[porcupine]

I am standing there, still holding the list, and the bicep curve on my outstretched arm is swelling slightly.

Perhaps you have an exceptionally nicely sculpted bicep and your patrons are just admiring it on the sly? <ducking and covering from the kitten's gun>

[deangold]

Sometimes thisng are so bad its funney. Party calls for a ressie at 8:30. I take the ressie at 9:30pm, the first time I have available. I call and confirm it today for 9:30pm. 2 of the party arrive at 8:30 or so and say they have a reservation for 9. I tell them its at 9:30 and the person says "That fucker. He couldn't ahve made it at 9:30" I walk away. The rest of the party completes at 9:10 saying they have a 9pm resie. They are into it with my GM so I go over and say that the resie was at 9:30 and not 9:00. The gentleman tells me "It was at 9pm."

There is no way it was at 9:00pm. I would have had to take it ont he wrong line and misread it when I confirmed it. No matter what I said he said it was at 9:00pm. I finally said that I did nto ahve a table right now and that I would do the best I could for them. He repeated for the 5th or 6th time by now "It was at 9:00pm". I finally said that I am th owner of the restaurant, that I took the reseravtion personally and that I confirmed it as well. He said again "It was at 9:00pm" I finally said I felt he was calling me a liar. He said "I'm not" but his companion, who had been angrily interjecting all along said that he, the companion, was calling me a liar. He repeated that 4 times before I invited them to eat elsewhere. They left yelling fuck you at the top of their lungs. Other customers who witnessed this were laughing at their behavior. This from a well dressed party of 4 in their 50's or late 40's. The irony is that if they hadn't ben so intent on yelling at me and calling me a liar, they would have had their table in 10 or 15 minutes.

[ScotteeM]

The irony is that if they hadn't ben so intent on yelling at me and calling me a liar, they would have had their table in 10 or 15 minutes.

Idiots!

What dummies! They probably miss out on tables wherever they try to dine!

[deangold]

There is an add on to this story....

I wrote that after the incident in order to get my mind back on taking care of the poeple who came to Dino to enjoy themselves. At the end of the night, as we were winding down and I was able to chat with some tables, the 2 couples come back down Connecticut avenue. The two men who got into it with me begin to walk along the windows giving me the bird. One of them grabs his crotch in full view of some customers. They grabbed some poor man by the shoulder and were gesticualting wildly at me probably telling him that I was evil incarnate. He looked like he wished there was a cop around! My customers who saw this were aghast at the entire thing. I got another laugh from it.

I can only imagine what it would have been like to seat these people and how miserable they would have made the server. As I have always said, some poeple come to a business to partake of what it offers and have a good time. Some people come because shopping/dining there is cheaper than getting therapy!

[jdl]

The two men who got into it with me begin to walk along the windows giving me the bird.

Good golly. Too bad you didn't have a camera handy. Would've been kinda funny if you'd taken their picture and then emailed it or posted it where other area restaurateurs could see it!

[porcupine]

Good golly. Too bad you didn't have a camera handy. Would've been kinda funny if you'd taken their picture and then emailed it or posted it where other area restaurateurs could see it!

A camera can be a handy thing. Years ago, when I worked at an animal shelter, a woman called asking for advice on how to stop people from letting their dogs dump on her front lawn. She had already tried asking them nicely. They ignored her, or got rude with her.

Since it happened at about the same time almost every evening (owners got home from work, walked the dogs...), I suggested she borrow a video camera, and when she saw the offenders, open her door and start taping in a really obvious way. (A still camera would have the same effect, too, of course.)

The problem was solved within a few days.

[Barbara]

Good golly. Too bad you didn't have a camera handy. Would've been kinda funny if you'd taken their picture and then emailed it or posted it where other area restaurateurs could see it!

Dean, you actually HAVE something equivalent to this if you subsribe to Open Table. Since you took the initial reservation by phone and have a name . . . .

While some think that certain people are deserving of being culled from herd, I just like the idea that restaurants have the ability to protect their servers, themselves and, most of all (!), their customers from having their meals ruined by jerks like these guys.

[Jacques Gastreaux]

Dino's post raises a good question. Is Dino's fact pattern frequent? (Conversations with Landrum leave me to believe that it happens all the time. This is not a matter of etiquette, it is a matter of ethics.)

Edited to add: By fact pattern, I do not mean to include the reaction of his erstwhile customer after being told that no table was available. What I mean is people who cannot get the time they want going ahead and booking a reservation and then showing up at the time they originally wanted and insisting that the restaurant made a mistake.

Edited December 4, 2005 by Jacques Gastreaux

[Barbara]

Dino's post raises a good question.  Is Dino's fact pattern frequent?  (Conversations with Landrum leave me to believe that it happens all the time.  This is not a matter of etiquette, it is a matter of ethics.)

Jacques: Are you talking about the lies concerning reservation times, the tantrum, or the "show?"

[Jacques Gastreaux]

Jacques:  Are you talking about the lies concerning reservation times, the tantrum, or the "show?"

See my edited post. But I'd be willing to bet that Nadya has some good war stories on the latter.

[Nadya]

See my edited post.  But I'd be willing to bet that Nadya has some good war stories on the latter.

Yes, she do.

People quite often do show up at times that are different from their reservation. I am willing to extend a benefit of doubt that an honest error has been made, particularly for large parties that have multiple assistants, wives and other staff making reservations for them. Since I am the one behind the computer, I have the only definitive record of the reservation, regardless of who says what. And should there be a discrepancy, our policy is quite simple:

If I have a table, you can have it before or after your reservation time.

If I don't have a table before your reservation time, you can wait.

If I don't have a table and you throw a tantrum, you can wait some more while you cool down.

I honestly cannot emphasize enough the importance of acting nice if you want something from the restaurant staff. What I mean here is not obsequious behavior or contributions to my shoe fund, but rather common politeness and courtesy and evidence that you understand that I am indeed a human being and not someone who is legally mandated to fulfill your every whim. If I have two parties waiting in the bar, one nice and one not, I am much more likely to treat the pencildick party, well, like pencildicks that they are. Peope who act nice are much more likely to get a table, or a table they want.

Edited December 4, 2005 by Nadya

[DonRocks]

I am much more likely to treat the pencildick party, well, like pencildicks that they are.

Treat the pencil[lin] dick.

Resistant to staff, ill, low, cock-kiss.

Auntie Bea

[Jacques Gastreaux]

I guess at the end of the day, it makes little difference whether an honest mistake has been made, who made the mistake or whether one party or the other is being unethical (overbooking or lying). The old adage applies: You will catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar or gasoline or flatulence (whether verbal or anal). (Of course, there is the other adage: the squeaky wheel gets the most grease.)

[Mark Slater]

Sometimes thisng are so bad its funney.  Party calls for a ressie at 8:30.  I take the ressie at 9:30pm, the first time I have available.  I call and confirm it today for 9:30pm.  2 of the party arrive at 8:30 or so and say they have a reservation for 9.  I tell them its at 9:30 and the person says "That fucker.  He couldn't ahve made it at 9:30"  I walk away.  The rest of the party completes at 9:10 saying they have a 9pm resie.  They are into it with my GM so I go over and say that the resie was at 9:30 and not 9:00.  The gentleman tells me "It was at 9pm." 

There is no way it was at 9:00pm.  I would have had to take it ont he wrong line and misread it when I confirmed it.  No matter what I said he said it was at 9:00pm.  I finally said that I did nto ahve a table right now and that I would do the best I could for them.  He repeated for the 5th or 6th time by now "It was at 9:00pm".  I finally said that I am th owner of the restaurant, that I took the reseravtion personally and that I confirmed it as well.  He said again "It was at 9:00pm"  I finally said I felt he was calling me a liar.  He said "I'm not" but his companion, who had been angrily interjecting all along said that he, the companion, was calling me a liar.  He repeated that 4 times before I invited them to eat elsewhere.  They left yelling fuck you at the top of their lungs.  Other customers who witnessed this were laughing at their behavior.  This from a well dressed party of 4 in their 50's or late 40's.  The irony is that if they hadn't ben so intent on yelling at me and calling me a liar, they would have had their table in 10 or 15 minutes.

Mr. Gold,

I thought about doing this privately, but I now think the topic will be better served this way.

You will be out of business quicker than you can say "Bob's my uncle" if you don't quit posting this kind of tattle-tale stuff in public. If you can't deal with the public, let me be the first to point out that you are in the wrong racket.

Edited December 5, 2005 by Mark Slater

[Michael Landrum]

I just like the idea that restaurants have the ability to protect their servers, themselves and, most of all (!), their customers from having their meals ruined by jerks like these guys.

It is not just an ability, it is an obligation. A restaurateur, just like a host in his own home, is responsible for the safety, well-being and enjoyment of all of his guests as well as all members of his household.

What host would tolerate or invite back a guest who abused, damaged, or threatened his house or belongings, his family members, or any other guest? A restaurant, its owners or its management should never tolerate any abuse by any individual towards any other.

Especially heinous is the idea, or sense of entitlement, that servers/hostesses/busboys are open to abuse, as though they were somehow lesser people. This pathetic and common attitude comes from both sides--owner/management and guests--and is the hallmark of a class of ignorant, striving peasants.

Most owners and managers that I have worked for have been guilty actually of a greater guilt than the most offensive/offending guest I have ever encountered because: the obligation of awareness of and planning for these foreseeable and expected incidents is obvious and part of the privelege/duty of ownership; and these employees are in the custodial care of the owner while in his employ and therefore his first obligation is to their safety, security and well-being.

The restaurant business is, especially now, too much like a plantation system--and becoming more so with each new 200 seat restaurant or Starbucks that opens--with the triangle trade of sugar/rum/slaves being replaced by the more current version of privelege-money-power/foie gras/uninsured working poor and illegals.

And too many guests believe that the price of a meal entitles them to the right to behave like petty, inbred, minor feudal lords--but only because so many restaurants wouldn't have anything else to offer if they didn't cater to and encourage that.

Edited December 4, 2005 by Michael Landrum

[Al Dente]

Mr. Gold,

I thought about doing this privately, but I now think the topic will be better served this way.

You will be out of business quicker than you can say "Bob's my uncle" if you don't quit posting this kind of tattle-tale shit in public. If you can't deal with the public, let me be the first to point out that you are in the wrong racket.

I don't know Mark. I think douchebags of this caliber deserve as much exposure as possible.

Dean-- have you googled the guy's name? Perhaps he has a website selling duck calls.

[Barbara]

I don't know Mark. I think douchebags of this caliber deserve as much exposure as possible.

I agree with this. Dean, after all, didn't mention the names of any of these people. He clearly spotted the congenital jerks in these guys and his intuition kicked in and he asked them to leave. Given their "display" later on, who here can say he was wrong? And, Mark, aren't you the least bit interested in who these people are, in case they show up at Citronelle?

Personally, I appreciate the opportunity for all who work in the food service, in whatever capacity, to vent their complaints to a sympathetic audience like most of us. We all learn something new every day--like pay your restaurant bills in CASH.

I also think that whoever reads these tales of outrageous behavior has to become more conscientious about his/her own conduct. That can't hurt.

[Barbara]

It is not just an ability, it is an obligation.  A restaurateur, just like a host in his own home, is responsible for the safety, well-being and enjoyment of all of his guests as well as all members of his household.

What host would  tolerate or invite back a guest who abused, damaged, or threatened his house or belongings, his family members, or any other guest?  A restaurant, its owners or its management should never tolerate any abuse by any individual towards any other.

Especially heinous is the idea, or sense of entitlement, that servers/hostesses/busboys are open to abuse, as though they were somehow lesser people.  This pathetic and common attitude comes from both sides--owner/management and guests--and is the hallmark of a class of ignorant, striving peasants.

Most owners and managers that I have worked for have been guilty actually of a greater guilt than the most offensive/offending guest I have ever encountered because:  the obligation of awareness of and planning for these foreseeable and expected incidents is obvious and part of the privelege/duty of ownership; and these employees are in the custodial care of the owner while in his employ and therefore his first obligation is to their safety, security and well-being.

The restaurant business is, especially now, too much like a plantation system--and becoming more so with each new 200 seat restaurant or Starbucks that opens--with the triangle trade of sugar/rum/slaves being replaced by the more current version of privelege-money-power/foie gras/uninsured working poor and illegals.

And too many guests believe that the price of a meal entitles them to the right to behave like petty, inbred, minor feudal lords--but only because so many restaurants wouldn't have anything else to offer if they didn't cater to and encourage that.

Michael, I think you write even better than you cook. And that's saying something. Can't find a single thing to disagree with. From somebody who isn't going to be enjoying your food tomorrow.

[liam]

Dean-- have you googled the guy's name? Perhaps he has a website selling duck calls.

Now, that is funny. Someone should start a website featuring a "customer wall of shame". If catcalls.com is taken, perhaps duckcalls.com is available!

But, seriously, kudos to the restauranteur who stands up to such heathens. I recognize the potential word-of-mouth risk that a restauranteur faces if these louts tell all their friends or post on a web site not to visit Establishment X. The recent Corduroy experience is telling. However, I'll do whatever I can to recognize an owner or manager who draws a line in the sand about behavior like this.

[Jacques Gastreaux]

When patrons do to a restaurant what these fucking morons tried to do to Dean, it impacts the patrons who are coming in behind them. What would have happened to the people who had 9:00 reservations if Dean had given grease to these squeaky wheels. It would not have been fair. It does not appear that this dickless bastard was in any way intersted in letting Dean find a way out of the situation. He wanted a 9:00 table come hell or high water (even though the 9:30 slot would have been availabe in 20 minutes given that the last of the party did not arrive until 9:10). This guy was trying to save face with his friends who obviously wanted to dine earlier.

[Mark Slater]

Now, that is funny.    Someone should start a website featuring a "customer wall of shame". If catcalls.com is taken, perhaps duckcalls.com is available!

But, seriously, kudos to the restauranteur who stands up to such heathens. I recognize the potential word-of-mouth risk that a restauranteur faces if these louts tell all their friends or post on a web site not to visit Establishment X. The recent Corduroy experience is telling. However, I'll do whatever I can to recognize an owner or manager who draws a line in the sand about behavior like this.

There are 2 that come immediately to mind: Bitter Waitress and Waiter Rant. Bitter Waitress has an STD (shitty tipper database).

[DanielK]

There are 2 that come immediately to mind: Bitter Waitress and Waiter Rant. Bitter Waitress has an STD (shitty tipper database).     

I love Waiter Rant - wish he updated more than twice a week!

I find that Bitter Waitress gets repetitive quickly, and they must have my old Apple II running their server, as slow as it responds...

[Josh Radigan]

in response to Mr Slaters comments, it is the fact that we all have good customers and bad customers, and that to rant on the bad all the time only seems to rock the boat to one side. And truthfully, other than those who frequent this website, many are potential customers.

[deangold]

It is true that my post in this this thread hve been about the (thankfully) few customers who have crossed the line. What amazed me is that in the 10 years I have been out of the restaurant game, the decline in behavior of the few. On Saturday night, we had more than a handful of folk show up for their reservations at the time they originally requested, not the time they were given. But they did not cross any lines in any way, they had a drink or waited and were seated as soon as they could be accomodated.

We had a "famous face" call for a last minute reservation. We were able to accomodate them not because they were famous (in fact they called not using their famous name), but because there were these nice sounding people on the phone and they were asking if they could be squeezed in. We said yes and discovered that they were celebrities only on arrival. They were a blast. They let me explain the menu, help them chose a wine (nothing expensive, but a real gem), help them order. They were a fun group in the restaurant and wound up buying Dino tee shirts. I wish I had hundreds more customers like them. not because they are famous, but because they are the kind of people I want in my restaurant. People I can share my passion for food with.

That same night, we had a table who started out upset that I didn't have merlot or syrah by the glass. They wanted to know why we didn't ahve spaghetti with garlic and olive oil as a side dish. etc. I opened a bottle of merlot for them, leaving it on the table saying "drink what you want of it, its on me" and letting them know we could make them pappardelle with garlic and oil (we actually DON"T have spaghetti in house). At the end, they called me over and iunsisted that they pay for the merlot as they thought it was fantastic and they were as happy as could be. Again, they were upset at first and we turned them around because they gave us a chance. Their wait was amazed that they were as nice as they were given how upset they started out.

Again, that why I am in the business. To turn people on to something they may never have been exposed to before or, if they are familiar with what we are doing, to let them enjoy what we are doing. Dino is a passion and a mission, not just a business. Customers who let us share that with them our our lifeblood. Customers who come in wtih fixed, narrow expectations can be dissapointed at Dino I think the best etiquette that a customer can show is to be open to what the restaurant they are at is offering.

[qwertyy]

In October, I snapped up a reservation at Citronelle for the one night my brother was in town that the White Sox had an off-night in the Championship Series--a Tuesday, I think. Imagine my horror when I got the voice mail confirming our reservation for Monday. Nooooooo! screamed the voice in my head. Did I really click on the wrong day on Open Table?? He'll kill me! He'll kill me and we'll have to miss either the game or the dinner!

I called back. "I just got a message confirming our reservation for tonight, but I thought I made it for tomorrow--I meant to make it for tomorrow--please can I eat there tomorrow???"

"Let me check... Oh--I'm so sorry! Yes, we have you down for Tuesday. My mistake!"

And lo, there was baseball one night and dinner the next, and all was well in the land.

[crackers]

  And lo, there was baseball one night and dinner the next, and all was well in the land.

I think that's called a win-win situation. We know how the White Sox did. How was your dinner? Did it hit a home run?

[qwertyy]

I think that's called a win-win situation.  We know how the White Sox did.  How was your dinner? Did it hit a home run?

Amen, crackers. Dinner was just what a gal should expect for a half month's rent. The food was breathtaking, and so were the wine pairings--that technique of cooking the meat at a low temp for days produces a sublime result, and rare is a place that can match a wine so beautifully with asparagus or bruleed foie gras (!?!). The service... Weeeell, the bartender was super, but the dining room service was a bit stand-offish for my taste. But hey, that's just me.

[B.A.R.]

I too have been in the restaurant "game" for 10+ years. Fourteen, to be exact. I have had to ask customers to leave establishments that I have managed exactly three times.

Each were difficult, and in my opinion necessary, decisions. I have had to ask customers to alter their behavior hundreds, if not thousands of times. So what happened during those thousand other guest encounters that did not happen on the other three?

In each instance the guest did not respond to a polite request, then a firm suggestion, then an ultimatum. I like to think at no time (although I am sure the guests opinion differs), did I actually exacerbate the situation by poor choice of language or unneccessary posturing.

Guests upset about a reservation SNAFU doesn't even register to me as something that could get so out of control as to require me to refuse service and remove the guest. Mr. Gold, it's your restaurant, so it's your call. You did what you felt was right for your business, your patrons, and your employees. I can respect that.

But as I read through this chat, and your quotes in particular, I do sense this underlying customer resentment in your words. I don't know you, which makes it even more difficult to intuit your tone. Your mini-essay about why you are in this business seemed heartfelt, but I too would advise against casually posting negative comments about your guests (or-ex-guests) here.

As I am sure you know, the night of the encounter emotions are always the highest. You are preaching to a very appreciative and sympathetic audience here at DR.com, but your message is being broadcast around the world. In that world lives once, future, and never-again customers.

Last night's flaming asshole will quickly become next year's amusing anecdote, if they remain a memory at all.

Brian Reymann

[Nadya]

My GM told me once of a customer who was so rude that he had to tell him, "when you plan to come back, call us and I will wait on your personally because I don't wish to subject my staff to your abuse."

[Banco]

As to the advisability of Mr. Gold's post, I can't help but think the only people to be put off by it in sufficient measure to avoid his restaurant would be friends and acquaintances of the offending patron and other plebs and assholes who might behave in a similar way. Isn't it all the better for the rest of us if this element stays away from restaurants like Dino?

Edited December 5, 2005 by Banco

[Jacques Gastreaux]

As to the advisability of Mr. Gold's post, I can't help but think the only people to be put off by it in sufficient measure to avoid his restaurant would be friends and acquaintances of the offending patron and other plebs and assholes who might behave in a similar way. Isn't it all the better for the rest of us if this element stays away from restaurants like Dino?

What Michael Landrum refers to as "asshole repellant."

[B.A.R.]

As to the advisability of Mr. Gold's post, I can't help but think the only people to be put off by it in sufficient measure to avoid his restaurant would be friends and acquaintances of the offending patron and other plebs and assholes who might behave in a similar way. Isn't it all the better for the rest of us if this element stays away from restaurants like Dino?

I disagree. Part of being in the service business is dealing with assholes. Most of the time you have to suffer them with a smile. Sometimes you get to bitch slap them. But in most cases, it's best just to solve the problem and then let it go.

As owner, you set the example. And if you start letting every asshole get to you, pretty soon your waitstaff thinks it an undo burden to provide honey with tea, and they roll their eyes when you don't order wine, and busboys decide you've had enough bread, and hostesses don't look you in the eye when you walk through the door, and the bartender spends five minutes engaged in a conversation with another patron while you stare at the back bar, and the chef sends out an entree even though it's less than perfect, and that Saturday evening one hour wait for a table becomes 30 minutes, then 10, then disappears altogether.

[Banco]

I disagree. Part of being in the service business is dealing with assholes. Most of the time you have to suffer them with a smile. Sometimes you get to bitch slap them. But in most cases, it's best just to solve the problem and then let it go.

As owner, you set the example. And if you start letting every asshole get to you, pretty soon your waitstaff thinks it an undo burden to provide honey with tea, and they roll their eyes when you don't order wine, and busboys decide you've had enough bread, and hostesses don't look you in the eye when you walk through the door, and the bartender spends five minutes engaged in a conversation with another patron while you stare at the back bar, and the chef sends out an entree even though it's less than perfect, and that Saturday evening one hour wait for a table becomes 30 minutes, then 10, then disappears altogether.

I'm not sure I understand your argument here. Are you objecting to how Mr. Gold dealt with the situation at the time, to his posting about it afterward, or both? Wouldn’t Mr. Gold's story qualify as one of those times where it's right to "bitch slap" a patron? I agree a restaurateur should not let "every asshole" get to him, but I was focusing on this one especially egregious display as an example of what no one--restaurateur or otherwise--should have to endure. And as for posting about it here, what person would avoid his restaurant because of it unless he identifies with the AIQ in some way?

[porcupine]

I disagree. Part of being in the service business is dealing with assholes. Most of the time you have to suffer them with a smile. Sometimes you get to bitch slap them. But in most cases, it's best just to solve the problem and then let it go.

Not that its worth anything, but I for one am sick and tired of seeing spoiled brats get their way. Yes, situations must be handled politely, but I say politely give 'em the boot so the rest of us don't have to suffer. I'll be going back to Dino soon, and paying in cash.

[Jacques Gastreaux]

AIQ="Asshole in Question?"

[Banco]

AIQ="Asshole in Question?"

Ding Ding Ding!

[qwertyy]

In all my time reading online food chats, I don't think I've ever read a restaurateur praise a customer. Might make a nice read someday...

(Edited minutely for atrocious grammar)

Edited December 5, 2005 by Connave

[Banco]

In all my time reading online food chats, I don't think I've never read a restaurateur praise a customer. Might make a nice read someday...

I think Mr. Gold did just that a few posts back: http://www.donrockwell.com/index.php?showt...indpost&p=19289

[porcupine]

In all my time reading online food chats, I don't think I've never read a restaurateur praise a customer. Might make a nice read someday...

"Now it is a strange thing, but things that are good to have and days that are good to spend are soon told about, and not much to listen to; while things that are uncomfortable, palpitating, and even gruesome, may make a good tale, and take a deal of telling anyway." J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit.

[Scott Johnston]

There is a little resturant in Herdon callled the Tortilla Factory. I have been going there for almost 20 years. The owner and wait staff and bus boys know me by name (and many of them have been there the entire 20 years). On more than one occassion they have pick up drinks or dinners because I am a repeat customer.

When a line forms, they bring out free appitizers, well beyong the free chips and salsa that is already there. Drinks are also brought out on a honor system, just tell the wait staff. Repeat customers get a card for 10% off their entire bill...everytime they go there.

Special orders are never a problem and often the staff will also point out new combinations of foods to try.

Service like this is old fashion and why I continue to go back time and time again. At one point I was a weekly customer there. To quote a chain...I am treated like family!

[qwertyy]

I think Mr. Gold did just that a few posts back: http://www.donrockwell.com/index.php?showt...indpost&p=19289

But even that had qualifications--"they did not cross any lines" and "Their wait was amazed that they were as nice as they were given how upset they started out."

I've done lots of time serving, bartending, and managing, and my brother runs a restaurant on the other coast. I know how to conduct myself and I LOVE food and dining out. But when I read posts from industry people--on sites like this, or Tom's chats, or that diatribe in the Post's Food section a couple of months ago--the preponderance are about how customers should act, or how they have acted badly. It's becoming exhausting to be a consumer.

And I personally would never publicly out how much X stakeholder chafes my rear or how Y organization insulted me in our last meeting. Is restauranting that different than the rest of the professional world?

[Banco]

But even that had qualifications--"they did not cross any lines" and "Their wait was amazed that they were as nice as they were given how upset they started out."

I've done lots of time serving, bartending, and managing, and my brother runs a restaurant on the other coast. I know how to conduct myself and I LOVE food and dining out. But when I read posts from industry people--on sites like this, or Tom's chats, or that diatribe in the Post's Food section a couple of months ago--the preponderance are about how customers should act, or how they have acted badly. It's becoming exhausting to be a consumer.

And I personally would never publicly out how much X stakeholder chafes my rear or how Y organization insulted me in our last meeting. Is restauranting that different than the rest of the professional world?

I see your point. Perhaps the increased prickliness on the part of restaurateurs is a response to the general decline in manners that people seem to be talking about these days. Ater all, people in the service industry are on the front lines of consumer/producer interaction and therefore would be among the first to have to deal with a general decline in good behavior.

But I still think Mr. Gold was right to throw the bastards out.

[Barbara]

Service like this is old fashion and why I continue to go back time and time again.  To quote a chain...I am treated like family!

Not a few of us feel this way about Corduroy.

[porcupine]

Perhaps the increased prickliness on the part of restaurateurs is a response to the general decline in manners that people seem to be talking about these days.

Have you read Talk to the Hand - the Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door by Lynne Truss?

my, I'm feeling literary today. must be the snow.

[Banco]

Not a few of us feel this way about Corduroy.

I feel that way about Sonoma, but I'm sure I would about Corduroy as well if I could get there more often.

Suggested new thread: "Where Everyone Knows Your Name (or at least your DR handle)."

[Banco]

Have you read Talk to the Hand - the Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door by Lynne Truss?

my, I'm feeling literary today.  must be the snow.

No, but I saw it advertised just a few days ago (in the New Yorker, maybe?). I don't know, the reality can be depressing enough without having it eloquently documented in such a book.

[qwertyy]

A decline in manners all around--absolutely! Some guy actually started yelling and banging on the train this morning after the doors closed before he could get on. Jiminy! The day hadn't even started yet, and they come by every two minutes!

But for my part, I've been trying lately to counteract all that and respond to rudeness with grace, anger with understanding, and ignorance with generosity. Holy hell it's hard, but it will, at the very least, make my commuting--and dining and living--experiences better.

Edited December 5, 2005 by Connave

[Scott Johnston]

Food is not bad there....family place, additive machaca meat, Queso, and tamales. How was your service?

Remember "The Tongue Thing?"

Yep, happened at Tortilla Factory.

Rocks.

[B.A.R.]

I'm not sure I understand your argument here.

Sorry. Trying to do too many things at once.

There are problems with reservations at restaurants all of the time. Say this particular couple was really beligerent about it, and I imagine they were. The statement "Are you calling me a liar" escalates the argument. Then venting about it in a public forum two hours later while your restaurant is still open may be cathartic to you, the restaurant owner, but it does your restaurant no good.

I hope I have nothing in common with the AIQ's, and it was well within Mr. Gold's right to "bitch slap" these individuals. I just do not think these type of public posts are very productive for ANY restauranteur to make.

Brian Reymann