Etiquette, The Two-Way Street

[Nadya]

We take credit card numbers and charge $25 per person for no-show of parties over 6. I believe notification time is 24 hrs.

[Dental_FlossTycoon]

Being strictly a consumer of food, never a giver, always a taker, I do know that a lot of very self important people in this city just can't seem to ever be on time.

Shame, guiliting, nothing works. Nothing is worse than waiting on little Miss can't answer my cell phone but I'm still a callin ya repeatedly because all six of us are here and they're not seating us till you and your mystery friend get here.

Not showing up with any or the whole party without calling, well that's just selfishness and wrong no matter how you look at it. I agree with Nadya's rules and they're fair.

[deangold]

Whether we implement a no show fee for large parties or not is, as was said, a business decision. What I was lamenting was how someone gets to be an adult with enough disposable income to think about dining out with 9 friends and then no shows on a reservation. Unless all the group was abducted by aliens, imprisioned in locations usknown for un American thoughts or all perished in a car crash, what gives?

It is rude enough to no show for any size reservation, but how do people come to not realize that a reservation for 10 puts a burden on the business and people involved.

I lament the me centeredness of our current world.

[Meaghan]

Have we talked about no shows?  No shows for large parties?  What's up with that?  Last night we had a no show for a party of 9.  They had called the day before to enlarge their party from 8 to 9 so its not like they didn't know what restaurant they were going to or something.  Their waiter lost about 1/4 his income for the night.  We turned away another party of 6 because we didn't have the table.

Overbook. OpenTable pimp.

[ol_ironstomach]

What I was lamenting was how someone gets to be an adult with enough disposable income to think about dining out with 9 friends and then no shows on a reservation.

...

I lament the me centeredness of our current world.

Alas, there will always be some proportion of the population who believe that acting like a total peckerhead is both a privilege of having - and an integral part of obtaining - a large disposable income.

Of course they don't deserve your best game. Besides, you gotta have room to escalate for us genuinely nice diners

Edited December 26, 2005 by ol_ironstomach

[deangold]

Besides, you gotta have room to escalate for us genuinely nice diners

Hey... our 12 turned into a last second 14 and we just dragged a few more chair and some people were only sorta at the table. I recommended them Ridge Home Ranch Cab (4 bottles!!!) so all was well there! They were nice to me and I was nice to them!

[Waitman]

Faster, Don, faster!

[DonRocks]

Faster, Don, faster!

[This is REALLY getting annoying. Every time I move the posts, there's a new one by the time I finish! ]

[Jacques Gastreaux]

To give you an idea how at least one restaurant is handling the problem of no-shows for Valentines Day, I have attached a copy of the contract that Restaurant Eve is using to confirm reservations. The document sends 2 messages: show up and show up on time. I wonder if other restaurants go to this length on special days such as VD and Mother's Day.

Reservations_Contract.pdf

[Stretch]

I damn well hope they used a local lawyer to draft that.

[Jacques Gastreaux]

Actually, I think that that version was produced in house. The ad hoc DR.com legal team has since revised it. I don't know if the revised version is in use yet.

[jm chen]

The ad hoc DR.com legal team has since revised it. 

Ad hoc = ad jacques?

I've only ever signed a reservations contract at minibar, and I can see why they'd be really cheesed about no-shows, given the six-stool situation.

[qwertyy]

I like how "penalty" is crossed out and replaced with "charge." I suppose that's supposed to make dropping some dough for being rude less painful?

[Though if we're going to start enforcing politeness by contract, I say we start on the Metro. Each fare card ought to have a statement on the back binding the holder to certain rules, such as not standing in the doorway...]

[Jacques Gastreaux]

I like how "penalty" is crossed out and replaced with "charge." I suppose that's supposed to make dropping some dough for being rude less painful? 

[Though if we're going to start enforcing politeness by contract, I say we start on the Metro. Each fare card ought to have a statement on the back binding the holder to certain rules, such as not standing in the doorway...]

I suggested that change on the ground that credit card companies might not accept a charge for a "penalty." And I think the characterization of such a charge as a "penalty" in inaccurate. Such a charge, to my mind, is more in the nature of liquidated damages related to lost revenue for the failure of the patron to to live up to his/her end of a bargain; the bargain being the restaurant's agreement to hold a table on an evening when they expect to be sold out.

[smokey]

[Though if we're going to start enforcing politeness by contract, I say we start on the Metro. Each fare card ought to have a statement on the back binding the holder to certain rules, such as not standing in the doorway...]

Oh, I like this! Not standing on the left side of the escalator so that people can walk past you; not taking the elevator when you're able-bodied and there's somebody there with a child in a stroller; the list of offense could go on and on. Now, for that enforcement problem...

[qwertyy]

Oh, I like this!  Not standing on the left side of the escalator so that people can walk past you; not taking the elevator when you're able-bodied and there's somebody there with a child in a stroller; the list of offense could go on and on.  Now, for that enforcement problem...

Clearly, take the credit card number and penalize--er, charge them 60 bucks!

Edited January 12, 2006 by Connave

[Crise_de_Foie]

Just tonight, I visited the new upscale, modern and totally dope tratoria place in Clarendon. Needless to say, after sampling numerous delicious wines, I had to make my way to the men's room to shake the dew of my lily. What should have been a satisifying and relieving experience (after all, life's pleasures can be reduced to eating, drinking, f***ing, roughing up the suspect, pissing and Sh*tting) turned out to be not so.... I am standing at this cool, modern, auto-flush urinal holding phat frank like a hose on a five alarm fire when this tool walks around behind me yapping on a cell phone. I thought, "okay, he's done and will walk out in a sec." NOT SO! This fool keeps babbling and actually bumbs into me! Worst of all, he's talking in Italian (at least give me something to listen to!!!) Next person I catch talking (especially non-American English) will get fleeced!

The bottom line is: People should stay off those goodamn phones when in a public rest room!! I'd like to know other people's thoughts on this.

Edited January 13, 2006 by Frank Puma

[DonRocks]

I am standing at this cool, modern, auto-flush urinal holding phat frank like a hose on a five alarm fire when this tool walks around behind me yapping on a cell phone. I thought, "okay, he's done and will walk out in a sec."... NOT SO! This fool keeps babbling and actually bumbs into me!

I would have just turned around and said hello, remembering that hydronephrosis can result from interrupting the flow of urine. My advice would be to monitor closely for flank pain over the next 24 hours.

That will be twenty dollars.

Rocks

[Crise_de_Foie]

I would have just turned around and said hello, remembering that hydronephrosis can result from interrupting the flow of urine.

Okay, I don't know what that meant, and I am not into any sort of piss play. Although, I do feel it would have been appropriate to shower this fool with the living water!

[Barbara]

I would have just turned around and said hello, remembering that hydronephrosis can result from interrupting the flow of urine.  My advice would be to monitor closely for flank pain over the next 24 hours.

That will be twenty dollars.
Rocks

You are a sick, sick man.

[Crise_de_Foie]

You are a sick, sick man.

But I'll bet his kidneys are in top form!

[DonRocks]

But I'll bet his kidneys are in top form!

Thanks for urinalysis, but isn't a frank puma an oxymoron, given that a puma is a-lyin'? Tying this into JLK's claim that beets are on the trite food list, has anyone ever called their physician complaining that they had blood in their urine when, in fact, they were merely scaring themselves silly witnessing the symptoms of beet urea, induced by a meal several hours before?

[crackers]

>shakes head in dismay, hoping his mommy doesn't read this board...<

Edited January 13, 2006 by crackers

[monavano]

I wanted to share a very funny children policy I saw yesterday. We loaded up the dogs and took them for a walk in Old Town. On the way, we stopped at a neighborhood coffee shop called "Janet's Java" on Telegraph Rd. to get some latte to go.

Whilst standing at the counter, my husband pointed out a sign on the counter which read: UNATTENDED CHILDREN SHALL BE GIVEN ESPRESSO AND A FREE PUPPY!.

Coffee with a shot of good humor.

[deangold]

I wanted to share a very funny children policy I saw yesterday. We loaded up the dogs and took them for a walk in Old Town. On the way, we stopped at a neighborhood coffee shop called "Janet's Java" on Telegraph Rd. to get some latte to go.

Whilst standing at the counter, my husband pointed out a sign on the counter which read: UNATTENDED CHILDREN SHALL BE GIVEN ESPRESSO AND A FREE PUPPY!.

Coffee with a shot of good humor.

We always threatened to give my nephew (the wild child one) a snare drum or a jr explosive kit for his birthday/Christmas.... Maybe we should get rid of the crayons and coloring books.... hmmmmmm

[porcupine]

Is it acceptable to ask to be seated in a particular waiter's section when walking in to a restaurant? Or when making a reservation? I would love to hear from industry people on this one. Thanks.

[deangold]

Is it acceptable to ask to be seated in a particular waiter's section when walking in to a restaurant? Or when making a reservation? I would love to hear from industry people on this one. Thanks.

I take it as a complement to the waiter and their service

[ScotteeM]

Is it acceptable to ask to be seated in a particular waiter's section when walking in to a restaurant? Or when making a reservation? I would love to hear from industry people on this one. Thanks.

I agree with Dean. It is a compliment to a server, and I've done it when making reservations. I haven't tried it when just walking in without a reservation, but I would think that as long as there is room the server's station at that time, it would be just fine.

[johnb]

Is it acceptable to ask to be seated in a particular waiter's section when walking in to a restaurant? Or when making a reservation? I would love to hear from industry people on this one. Thanks.

Some restaurants actually work this way. It's called the "waiter system." I know of none in this area, but Antoines in New Orleans is famous for it. All regular customers have a specific waiter--kind of like your barber. When you call for a reservation you call your waiter, not the restaurant. He(/she?) sets everything up, and of course takes care of you while in the restaurant.

[DanielK]

I haven't tried it when just walking in without a reservation, but I would think that as long as there is room the server's station at that time, it would be just fine.

I've done this at Corduroy before.

<wave> Hi, Ferhat!

[SrtaJRosa]

Is it acceptable to ask to be seated in a particular waiter's section when walking in to a restaurant? Or when making a reservation? I would love to hear from industry people on this one. Thanks.

I support others' comments on this one. It's great for the servers when repeat guests request their section, but I would go so far as to say that many of our regulars know and are recognized by all of our staff.

[Barbara]

I've done this at Corduroy before.

<wave> Hi, Ferhat!

We are introducing some friends of ours to Corduroy during RW. In talking about this to Rissa last Friday night, she asked if we needed a particular table; I told her, "No," but I wanted either Ferhat, Tom, or Kathy to wait on us. She didn't bat an eye.

I just can't imagine any restaurant worth its salt being the least bit offended by a customer requesting a particular waiter. It seems to me that it would be easier than trying to accomodate a particular table.

[Ferhat Yalcin]

from the customers side and some other industry peoples side it may seem nice and complementing the server , but in my mind I always feel good and sad at the same time.

It is really a good feeling when someone asks you to wait on them because they feel comfortable with you asking 20 different questions about the menu or the wine, about your pet and haircut, about the car that you bought last week.... And as the server you know it from the heart how to satisfy those people, taking another step for them and kicking up another notch as the service. This is a great dialogue between you and your specific server.

But here is my sad part , look at the picture from the restaurants(owner,gm,chef,manager) side. 75% of the customers are asking the same server. that means the service given at this restaurant is usually not the same. if they get the good server they`ll be happy but if they dont that means something negative.

I just wish the service given at a restaurant could be almost same by all the servers.(I know it wont be exactly same)

I know a world class restaurant in US when you go the second time and ask the same server you will not get it on purpose. Because the owner thinks and knows that all of the servers working at this place are providing the same Class-A service.

I hope you understand my concern.

[porcupine]

But here is my sad part , look at the picture from the restaurants(owner,gm,chef,manager) side. 75% of the customers are asking the same server. that means the service given at this restaurant is usually not the same. if they get the good server they`ll be happy but if they dont that means something negative. <snip>

I hope you understand my concern.

Thanks for an interesting consideration, Ferhat.

[Escoffier]

Is it acceptable to ask to be seated in a particular waiter's section when walking in to a restaurant? Or when making a reservation? I would love to hear from industry people on this one. Thanks.

I do this as a matter of course. Almost every place we visit has a server who has shown themself to be either very personable or provide good service. Their reward is larger than normal tips and requests for them when we go back.

[blakegwinn]

Similarly, please give me more than 30 seconds with my meal before coming to my table to ask if everything is okay. I want a chance to taste and assess everything. If there's a problem, I'm more likely to be able to identify it specifically if I've had a few minutes and a few bites. If you come to me too soon to ask how everything is, you'll likely get one of two answers:

"Uh, fine, thanks." Even though it's not.

"Uh, this sucks. But don't ask me to tell you why." And we can guess how helpful to the server and the kitchen that answer is.

I totall agree with you but I know at least one place I worked at where they sent in secret shoppers all the time to check out our steps of service. Well one step was a "2 bite checkout" I definitely knew servers who got docked for waiting a couple of minutes to come back. Those shoppers REALLLY took the two bite thing literally. As well as "greet and take drink orders within 30 seconds of being seated" With some customers that is just WAY too fast. I think hard core regulations like these aren't good for anyone. I know you have to have bench marks but if you trust that your servers are professionals you should let the waiter read a table on their own and decide how to handle it. But just remember that before you get snappy with your server!! We might just be trying to follow the rules we have been given instead of trying to purposely rush you.

[blakegwinn]

I see your point. Perhaps the increased prickliness on the part of restaurateurs is a response to the general decline in manners that people seem to be talking about these days. Ater all, people in the service industry are on the front lines of consumer/producer interaction and therefore would be among the first to have to deal with a general decline in good behavior.

But I still think Mr. Gold was right to throw the bastards out.

Sorry for the triple post but I just joined this board and discovered this gem of a string. I blame it on two things, FIRST (semi-joking): reality TV. Remember in the mid 90's when everyone said violent video games and movies were desensitizing kids to violence? The same is happening now with bitching, arguing and getting bent out of shape. We are inundated with people acting like children and whining about every little thing and now we think this is normal behavior. and SECOND (not-joking): Restaurants willingness to bend over backwards for asshole customers. Yes it is the service industry and I do my best to please every customer that comes through the door but sometimes I think it is easier for managers to just comp and placate assholes than to actually deal with them. I mean if a guy acts like he did in Dean's restaurant and gets 5 free meals and profuse apologies from the owner himself, he is vindicated. Dean asked them to leave. IF this schmuck tries this again at a restaurant and the same happens, maybe the third time he will think to himself "Jesus I could do without the drama and embarassing myself in front of my friends again tonight maybe I will just play by the rules and see how that goes." I feel like a lot of restaurants have just been like parents handing out candy to kids when they misbehave because the truth is it the easy way out. It is so much easier for a manager to comp a meal than to have an honest discussion with the patron and possibly defend themselves to the owner when they get an angry email from the customer. IT just makes me angry sometimes when a customer, who is widely known as someone who complains EVERY time they come in and subsequently gets comped, gets another free meal. Meanwhile that family of 5 who comes in twice a week, say please and thank you every time, ask me about how things are going in my life, and never cause problems don't get jack.

This evolution of usage does not make the term any less of an expression of the utterer's ass-hattery (in a restaurant setting).

I do have to admit I like ass-hat better than guy. "Good evening, can I get you asshats some drinks while you look over the menus?" Seriously though I work in a place that hands out kids menus and crayons to draw on the butcher-papered tables. I think guys is just fine. When I was in fine dining you are right, I didn't actually use guys, not becuase of any gender issues, but becuase it is informal. But if you are letting a little, tecnically correct, word-usage get under your skin during an otherwise fine meal....

[treznor]

Everyone has peeves, and some people's peeve is being called guy. Personally I have two peeves in regards to dining that annoy me above all others:

1) Waiting for the check. If everyone is done eating the check should be on the table, or at least to have come by to ask if we'd like the check. Now, I understand that waiters have other things to do than attend to my needs and to notice the second that I'm done eating dessert. But when the dessert plates have been licked clean, the water glasses are empty, the wine glasses are empty and I've been sitting there for 5 minutes or more I start to get a bit irked. After 10 minutes it turns into a full-blown annoyance. It doesn't happen all that often thankfully since the restaurant has a vested interest in allowing you to leave as soon as you'd like so they can turn the table.

2) Refilling my water or drink (if I'm not drinking) glass. This doesn't particularly apply to wine as sometimes I'd prefer to pace that myself. Now, I realize that I sometimes appear to be a person who has done nothing other than eat 20 pounds of salt prior to dining and as such can make entire glasses of water vanish in seconds. I understand that I drink more water than the average patron and I try to allow for that, but if the server comes to the table when my water glass is empty and it isn't refilled (by them or someone else) a little bit after it annoys me to no end. There have been a few occasions where my glass sat empty most of the meal and I could only get a refill by practically extracting the water from whatever I'm seated upon.

My point in illustrating this is that everyone has there peeves and to other people those peeves may sound silly. A good restaurant should try to annoy the obvious peeves (calling ladies guys, making people wait forever to pay, etc.) that may not annoy many, but is sure to annoy some. It shouldn't necessarily be able to anticipate the "odd" peeves (yes, like my water drinking in some instances), but when made aware of them a good restaurant should be able to handle them.

[qwertyy]

1) Waiting for the check. If everyone is done eating the check should be on the table, or at least to have come by to ask if we'd like the check. Now, I understand that waiters have other things to do than attend to my needs and to notice the second that I'm done eating dessert. But when the dessert plates have been licked clean, the water glasses are empty, the wine glasses are empty and I've been sitting there for 5 minutes or more I start to get a bit irked. After 10 minutes it turns into a full-blown annoyance. It doesn't happen all that often thankfully since the restaurant has a vested interest in allowing you to leave as soon as you'd like so they can turn the table.

I agree. Kind of.

Because one of my pet peeves is having the check dropped immediately after--or even during!--the meal. While I hate waiting around for the check to come, I think the server should ask if we'd like it, or should be available so I can request it if I like. Many a time have I been digesting--or even chewing!--when the server whizzes by and drops off the check without comment, bringing to a screeching halt my thought process about whether I might just have another glass of wine and leaving me somewhat crestfallen--"Oh. I guess I'll leave then..."

[hillvalley]

I've been spending a lot of time in the quiet room of Mayorga lately. I love this room, it's attached to the coffee house but is seperate and quiet enough to be able to study. That is until someone decides that they cannot get up and walk five feet out of the quiet room and must have their cell phone conversation right where they are.

Come on people, it's the only coffee house in the area with a quiet room. Make your phone calls somewhere else, like on the other side of the door in the rest of the coffe house.

[Banco]

Waiting for the check. If everyone is done eating the check should be on the table, or at least to have come by to ask if we'd like the check.

On the contrary, I've always been under the impression that restaurants that take pride in their service do not bring the check until the patron requests it. It depends somewhat on the degree of formality of the establishment, but in most middle-to-higher-end restaurants I would be put off if the waiter put the check on my table without my asking for it.

What do those in the business think about this?

[blakegwinn]

On the contrary, I've always been under the impression that restaurants that take pride in their service do not bring the check until the patron requests it. It depends somewhat on the degree of formality of the establishment, but in most middle-to-higher-end restaurants I would be put off if the waiter put the check on my table without my asking for it.

What do those in the business think about this?

These peeves all kind of fall under "You can't please all of the people all of the time". I think there are some obvious things you can avoid, leaving glasses empty, not explaining food delays, inappropriate touching etc. Then there are some personal peeves or needs that may or not be picked up on by the server. I consider myself very adept at reading people and tables and there are probably still a lot of things that go under the radar. Sometimes you just have to do what you feel comfortable with and half of the customers will like it and half won't. For every person who feels like "guys" is nails on a chalkboard there are 10 who subconciously feel more comfortable with the server. For every person who wants their plate cleared so they don't have mussell shells and juice sitting in front of them while their partner finishes, there are those who will berate you on proper etiquette if you try and clear it. I've been in the biz since I was old enough to work and by this point I know what I am comfortable with and I just roll with that until I get some strong signals otherwise. So if you are pulling out your wallet mid dessert, chances are I will be there with a check by the time your spoon hits the table. If I do end up missing those signals though I find that with 95 percent of my customers if I am cool and confident and relaxed, they can't help but be relaxed also. I do think some customers forget that we might have served 50 people before them, each with there own preferences which might have been exactly opposite from there own. So before you start talking about what a neanderthal your waiter is for trying to refill your wine glass just remember he might have gotten taken down a peg by the customers before you for not refilling. I always see rookies get sucked in to overreacting to this kind of stuff. One customer gets upset about something so they go overboard in the opposite direction and up getting it again from a different customer. Oh and one thing that definitely frustrates me is when people get snippy at the very beginning. When you just sit down and I come over you are a blank slate to me. I might be able to make a few assumptions based off your body language and dress or whatever but nothing concrete. I am not sure if you want me to be quick and efficient , slow and leisurely, or chatty and funny. You have to at least give us a minute or two of interaction before you jump on us for something you see as faux pas. If your waiter still doesn't get the picture by the time your entrees are done than yes, he probably just doesn't get it.

[TSE]

Actually, that's exactly what the evolution of usage does.

I'm sorry, but under such logic any number of diction-crimes could be justified. Irregardless, anyone?

I do have to admit I like ass-hat better than guy. "Good evening, can I get you asshats some drinks while you look over the menus?" Seriously though I work in a place that hands out kids menus and crayons to draw on the butcher-papered tables. I think guys is just fine. When I was in fine dining you are right, I didn't actually use guys, not becuase of any gender issues, but becuase it is informal. But if you are letting a little, tecnically correct, word-usage get under your skin during an otherwise fine meal....

Fair enough- it's usually not the use of the term itself that I find grating, but rather that sort of perky-yet-vacuous manner in which it is said. On the other hand, the English language is a bitch when it comes to the second person plural.

Unless your waiter is named Sloth.

Touche...

[qwertyy]

I'm sorry, but under such logic any number of diction-crimes could be justified. Irregardless, anyone?

No it couldn't. But once "irregardless" is in the dictionary, then yeah, that pretty much means people can use it. Evolution of language. I never thought relying on good ol' Merriam-Webster would be considered so cutting edge and controversial!

But again, we digress...

Great posts, Blake! Welcome!

[treznor]

On the contrary, I've always been under the impression that restaurants that take pride in their service do not bring the check until the patron requests it. It depends somewhat on the degree of formality of the establishment, but in most middle-to-higher-end restaurants I would be put off if the waiter put the check on my table without my asking for it.

What do those in the business think about this?

Which I'm fine with as well... As I say, it's when the waiter isn't around to get the check from that annoys me. Dropping the check after dessert is fine with me personally since dessert is always the end for me (never another glass of wine or beer or whatnot, dessert = done :-) ), but understanding that not all people are the same a simple "Would you care for anything else?" or "How was everything?" or anything that would allow me to ask for the check is fine. It's when the waitstaff just decides to up and disappear altogether than annoys me.

No it couldn't. But once "irregardless" is in the dictionary, then yeah, that pretty much means people can use it. Evolution of language. I never thought relying on good ol' Merriam-Webster would be considered so cutting edge and controversial!

But again, we digress...

Great posts, Blake! Welcome!

People that use the word "irregardless" should be taken out in the street and shot, if for no other reason than just making certain the word does not make it's way into a dictionary somewhere. Another word peeve of mine is the broading of the word anniversary. Unfortunately it has been broaded such that "6-month anniversary" is now acceptable occording to Mirriam-Webster, but I'll still maintain that it's not the proper usage of the word.

Let me second the welcome to Blake!

[jm chen]

The only usage mistake that upsets me more than "irregardless" is the use of an apostrophe in the possessive "its." Then again, you can't hear that in spoken English, so it doesn't count as a restaurant pet peeve. Just an example of Skitt's law.

The discussion of pet peeves always makes me feel bad for those in the industry. Seems you really can't win: the exact thing that one patron loves will infuriate another, and how are you supposed to know which is which? The check must come, the check can't come, etc.

[DonRocks]

Here are a couple of useful solutions to pet peeves mentioned in this thread:

Similarly, please give me more than 30 seconds with my meal before coming to my table to ask if everything is okay. I want a chance to taste and assess everything. If there's a problem, I'm more likely to be able to identify it specifically if I've had a few minutes and a few bites. If you come to me too soon to ask how everything is, you'll likely get one of two answers:

"Uh, fine, thanks." Even though it's not.

"Uh, this sucks. But don't ask me to tell you why." And we can guess how helpful to the server and the kitchen that answer is.

This happens to me all the time, but all you need to do is smile, shrug, and say "I haven't tried it yet." It's polite, it's honest, and it's disarming enough so that the server will usually say "Oops, sorry about that," and then remember to come back a bit later. Also, this question isn't entirely lazy or nonchalant on the server's part: It's an early check-in to make sure you got what you ordered.

On the contrary, I've always been under the impression that restaurants that take pride in their service do not bring the check until the patron requests it. It depends somewhat on the degree of formality of the establishment, but in most middle-to-higher-end restaurants I would be put off if the waiter put the check on my table without my asking for it.

What do those in the business think about this?

The important thing isn't for the staff to instantly bring the check, but for someone - the server, the floor manager - to be aware that the table has finished up, and to be monitoring the situation. When this happens, the diner can simply catch their eye and ask for the check. Also, if eye contact is made while the server is on the other side of the dining room, the diner can simply hold up his left hand like it's a piece of paper, his right hand like he's holding a pen, and make a scribbling motion. The server will always know that the check is being asked for (this technique is especially useful in foreign countries).

Cheers,

Rocks.

[Ferhat Yalcin]

On the contrary, I've always been under the impression that restaurants that take pride in their service do not bring the check until the patron requests it. It depends somewhat on the degree of formality of the establishment, but in most middle-to-higher-end restaurants I would be put off if the waiter put the check on my table without my asking for it.

What do those in the business think about this?

the country Im from , you drop the check without the customer asking it , would be one of the biggest mistakes of your life.

but in here it is different. you dont give the check after dessert , it is called French, and people like it because they dont feel rushed out....you give the check right away , people like that too because they have a show to catch. It is all about reading the customers mind.

[treznor]

The only usage mistake that upsets me more than "irregardless" is the use of an apostrophe in the possessive "its." Then again, you can't hear that in spoken English, so it doesn't count as a restaurant pet peeve. Just an example of Skitt's law.

The discussion of pet peeves always makes me feel bad for those in the industry. Seems you really can't win: the exact thing that one patron loves will infuriate another, and how are you supposed to know which is which? The check must come, the check can't come, etc.

Sadly enough, the mistake infuriates me as well and I'm one of the worst offenders. I know it's an easy rule to remember, and yet I can never remember which one gets the apostrophe! Skitt's Law indeed! I had never heard of it, but it is very apropos.

[Michael Landrum]

What I as a service industry worker find so disturbing in these discussions is the underlying but still blatant assumption that the offending party simply does not know his place. Nor his grammar, nor his usage.

Might I suggest, from our positions of wealth, privilege and ridiculous over-abundance in the face of so much want and hardship, that we find other matters from which to take offense while we enjoy such unimaginable plenty.