Michael Landrum Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 Since so often restaurant professionals are here to give you all advice on our world, and since so many of us, me most obviously first, have no clue as to things in the real world, I was wondering if any of you could help me with a seemingly insurmountable problem I am dealing with now in return. I am currently cat-sitting a perfectly charming feline who, when not bringing me various bird and rodent remains in tribute, seems to think that relentlessly putting his butt in my face is his life's mission. Does anyone know a way, without hurting his feelings or making him suck the life force out of me while I sleep, to make him stop? Can anyone at least tell me just to ease my mind--as I lay dying and gasping for breath--whether, in his mind, this is a good thing? Do I need to mention I am desperate for an answer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 Since so often restaurant professionals are here to give you all advice on our world, and since so many of us, me most obviously first, have no clue as to things in the real world, I was wondering if any of you could help me with a seemingly insurmountable problem I am dealing with now in return. I am currently cat-sitting a perfectly charming feline who, when not bringing me various bird and rodent remains in tribute, seems to think that relentlessly putting his butt in my face is his life's mission. Does anyone know a way, without hurting his feelings or making him suck the life force out of me while I sleep, to make him stop? Can anyone at least tell me just to ease my mind--as I lay dying and gasping for breath--whether, in his mind, this is a good thing? Do I need to mention I am desperate for an answer? Probably because you're a known felanaling, and you've done far too much "cat sitting" in the past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Landrum Posted January 9, 2010 Author Share Posted January 9, 2010 Probably because you're a known felanaling, and you've done far too much "cat sitting" in the past. So I guess you are going to merge this with the "Just Desserts" thread? Is it too late to order the cheese plate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanielK Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 Well, I think it's now all been said. Time to close the interwebs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KMango Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 (canned air) (be creative) (and name a new cocktail after the experience) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Landrum Posted January 9, 2010 Author Share Posted January 9, 2010 (canned air) (be creative) (and name a new cocktail after the experience) I am abnormal, but you--you--are sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KMango Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 I am abnormal, but you--you--are sick. *beaming with pride* (lions travel in prides) (i wonder if anyone has ever had to deal with lion butt in the face) (i feel a new children's book coming on...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Landrum Posted January 9, 2010 Author Share Posted January 9, 2010 Oh well, I guess I will just have to drink some more Hennessey, close my eyes, and sing Thunder Road over and over again in my head until it stops--just like I've always done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbara Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 OK, OK, assuming that Landrum actually has a problem and that everyone else has had his fun, there are two known ways to get a cat to leave you alone: 1. Get a spray bottle full of water and spritz the cat. We have one and every time I get out the ironing board, our cat is perplexed at what that lump of cloth did to deserve such a punishment; and 2. Hiss loudly at the cat. This works wonderfully to confuse the little darling, since the cat hisses at whoever to leave him/her alone. This will actually work if you aren't in a position to grab a spray bottle. And, it costs nothing and doesn't actually harm the cat. Thank you. I won't go into Dame Edna's rather inappropriate and X-rated comments on this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 Oh well, I guess I will just have to drink some more Hennessey NB Stacy Hennessey sold Stacy's Coffee Parlor a couple of years ago. OK, OK, assuming that Landrum actually has a problem ... 1. Get a spray bottle full of water and spritz the cat. Spritz, or Fritz? Let's not forget you're dealing with Michael Landrum here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaisaB Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 Michael, he is interested in you, and he figures you are interested in him, so he is givng you his butt so you can sniff his glands. Pretend to sniff him...you can sniff to the side and then rub his back muscles for him.... You should be honored he likes you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DameEdna Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 ML dreams of an amazing New Zealand pinot noir, and wakes up to find a cat butt in his face. Surprising? No.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdt Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 Thank you. I won't go into Dame Edna's rather inappropriate and X-rated comments on this thread. Damn, what did I (we) miss? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefgunshow Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 Damn, what did I (we) miss? Andouilletes des chats? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Landrum Posted January 9, 2010 Author Share Posted January 9, 2010 Michael, he is interested in you, and he figures you are interested in him, so he is givng you his butt so you can sniff his glands.... You should be honored he likes you! So you're saying that cats--even boy cats--are just like girls? Now it makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 Barbara's advice is sound - a spray bottle full of water is a good tactic. Spritz, or Fritz? Let's not forget you're dealing with Michael Landrum here. I think I just hurt myself laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deangold Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 Outrageously inappropiate and improper comment alert. Danger to all with good taste! Michael, I gotta hand it to you. It takes a big man to admit he has a problem with pussy..... While all three five songs are funny, the third fifth is pertinent to my comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Landrum Posted January 9, 2010 Author Share Posted January 9, 2010 Okay, quick poll before Don locks or deletes this thread. What is more disturbing?: A ) That this thread even exists. B ) That "cat glands" are mentioned and Dean immediately pulls out a link to a song about "cat love glands" as though he had been waiting for the subject to come up all along, which, no doubt, one day it must. C ) That "B" surprises no-one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deangold Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 Okay, quick poll before Don locks or deletes this thread. What is more disturbing?: A ) That this thread even exists. B ) That "cat glands" are mentioned and Dean immediately pulls out a link to a song about "cat love glands" as though he had been waiting for the subject to come up all along, which, no doubt, one day it must. C ) That "B" surprises no-one. Sir.... You're reaction humbles me.... at least I can get away saying that to folk who don't know me..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
durwoodx Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 You are making the cat very sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostrider Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 I see that this thread is 2 days old, but on the chance that this is still an issue: With some cats, if you have the fortitude for it, blowing hard on the nether regions when they are presented will annoy the cat & cause it to move away. (ETA: I see that a version of this approach has already been mentioned with the gas duster suggestion. Mine at least has the virtue of being cheaper & not requiring a trip to the store.) Unfortunately, since some cats pretend to have short attention spans, this is rarely a permanent solution. (This principle also applies to the water-spritz method.) I have one cat on whom this does not work. She insists on shoving her butt in my face when I nap. My choices are to toss her to the floor, which I am loathe to do, or to turn her sideways & attempt to hold her in place, which generally results in a lengthy struggle. There's no sure-fire, one-size-fits-all solution that I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsDiPesto Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 I had a cat (Jello Biafra) that thought the perfect way to wake me was to sneeze directly into my face, sometimes followed by hooking my cheek face with a claw. Be glad you're just getting the butt show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lola007 Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 You really need help.... Oh well, chalk one more up for the felines and add another photo to: this. "I am a cat and I'll sleep where I want." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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