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DonRocks

Friday Afternoon Throwdown

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I saw a pattern in the carpet.

Then I looked away, looked back.

and it was gone. Then I went to

the kitchen, and grabbed a beer,

and when I returned, it was there

again. So I began to masturbate.

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My DNA courseth

through your

every cell.

A beautiful way

to tell a man

you did

his mother.

Is this

the thread

where I can find

a good

proctologist?

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this is just to say

I drank the

beer

that was in the ice box

which you were

probably saving

for your breakfast

masturbation

forgive me.

it was lovely.

so hoppy, so cold.

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If I die young, bury me in satin

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Sink me in the river at dawn

Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life

Well, I've had just enough time

(Never switch to the radio station your kids listen to, you will be useless for the rest of the day)

The Band Perry-If I Die Young

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Not that I'm calling you an asshole or anything, but:

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP,

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP

<ring ... ring ... ring>

"Dial-An-Asshole ... May I take your order please?"

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Rosa Mexicano sucks. It sucks! How much does it suck? It sucks, that’s how much it sucks. It sucks ducks, bucks, monster trucks, hockey pucks, guys named Chuck, migrant workers that shuck, lightning bolts that struck, sewage workers wallowing in muck, rear-wheel drive cars that are stuck, vagrants who are down on their luck, babys who taste spinach for the first time and say yuck, and don’t think for a moment I’ve forgotten about the word fuck. There!

[from the slim volume "the poems and philosophy of D. Rockwell"] :)

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I just this second realized it was Friday, and remembered this thread.

As I type, I have no idea what I'm about to write,

so here I go, completely winging it:

A laundry basket,

latticed,

sits at my side.

No, that's not going anywhere.

I just ate a bowl of grapes,

somewhat testicular in nature.

There are two shriveled ones

left at the bottom, with stem.

"Coming soon: Road Improvements!"

essentially means that your life

is fucked for the next five years.

"Please click for Software Upgrade"

means that your enhanced version

will put out tracking cookies, and

remind you about expiration dates.

When Evil Knievel jumped the

Snake River Canyon, he petered

out in a big way, but give him

credit for taking the risk.

My favorite quote from Steve Jobs

was something about there being

"no skeletons that can't be allowed out."

Sort of how I feel about myself.

Let those who live in glass houses ...

Is it possible, that I'll make it through this

without saying something that is crude?

Yes.

It is possible.

But highly unlikely.

So let Judge William Adams,

statute of limitations be damned,

live the rest of his life, knowing that he

will be condemned for all of eternity, because

the internet, this most permanent form of communication

has no statute of limitations - it is forever, and so his legacy will

be that of a child abuser, the smallest and lowest form of humankind.

Scumbag piece of shit.

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Mary had a little lamb

and topped it with some raita

and then she had a little ham

and her grandmother Batsheva

feigned a heart attack.

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No sexually suggestive musings for the weekend? I feel kind of cheated, didn't mean to be a thread killer w/ the Band Perry...

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New Year's Resolution, 2015: Stop worrying about petty things.

Thinking of the very few people who make my blood curdle just to look at ... they are, without exception, grinning idiots, seemingly devoid of meaningful substance, and focused entirely on themselves and their own self-advancement. Show me someone of intelligence and reason, who completely disagrees with my views or philosophies, and I'll show you someone for whom I just bought a drink. Show me an imbecile devoted to the well-being of others, and I'll show you someone who has commanded my deepest admiration and respect.

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