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Celebrity Cooking Showdown


Meaghan

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Celebrity Cooking Showdown

Five nights in a row! Who will be the master of the kitchen? Who will wind up with stitches? You will help choose the winner! Plus each night, play along at home and you could win a brand new GE kitchen!

It would be cool if Tom Cruise came on and his face got burned (only a little). Or if a breast implant bursted somehow.

I've heard of no one on this show (except Wolfgang). Forgive me.

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cat cora is a hack chef, the woman Iron Chef; who in the biggest robbery of Iron Chef America was crowned victor over Alex Lee, perhaps the finest contestant the show has ever seen.

as for govind armstrong, he owns a couple of restaurants in LA; i believe one is called Table 8 or is it Table 9?

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Ms. Cora offers the viewing audience more sex appeal than Julia Child ever would have, hence her participation in the saccharine version of Iron Chef.

The syndicated original Japanese version appears to have been taken off the air, much to my chagrin.

Ms. Cora and Payaso Flay are one trick ponies that should be put down. Give them something other than eggplant and feta or nacho cheese and blue corn tortillas respectively, and Ms. Cora is likey to use her femine wiles on the judges and Flay is likely to hit the bottle. As for Wolfgang Puck, will part of his celebrity coaching involve hocking bakeware on QVC or autographing cans of pizza flavored soup?

While the Japanese are excessive in almost every regard, be it golf, karaoke or holiday photography...their dignity is kept in check by Sakai, Michiba, Chen...and to a lesser extent Kobe, man on the scene Shinichirô Ôta... and the psychic judge.

I am beset that my industry has succumbed to the greed of lowbrow prime-time television executives and the extinction of writers. Celebrities have become the duct-tape of ratings. And if that doesn't work, throw in B or C listers of the Charles Nelson Rielly or Tony Danza variety.

Are there any culinary documentaries?

As for films, Babette's Feast will shadow the shame of cooks everywhere.

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Ms. Cora offers the viewing audience more sex appeal than Julia Child ever would have, hence her participation in the saccharine version of Iron Chef.

The syndicated original Japanese version appears to have been taken off the air, much to my chagrin.

Ms. Cora and Payaso Flay are one trick ponies that should be put down. Give them something other than eggplant and feta or nacho cheese and blue corn tortillas respectively, and Ms. Cora is likey to use her femine wiles on the judges and Flay is likely to hit the bottle. As for Wolfgang Puck, will part of his celebrity coaching involve hocking bakeware on QVC or autographing cans of pizza flavored soup?

While the Japanese are excessive in almost every regard, be it golf, karaoke or holiday photography...their dignity is kept in check by Sakai, Michiba, Chen...and to a lesser extent Kobe, man on the scene Shinichirô Ôta... and the psychic judge.

I am beset that my industry has succumbed to the greed of lowbrow prime-time television executives and the extinction of writers.  Celebrities have become the duct-tape of ratings.  And if that doesn't work, throw in B or C listers of the  Charles Nelson Rielly or Tony Danza variety.

Are there any culinary documentaries?

As for films, Babette's Feast will shadow the shame of cooks everywhere.

hell of a post, poivrot. keep em coming. watched maybe 2 minutes of the show tonight, when i realized i was watching alan thicke, some dude named ashley and cat cora....i flipped quickly, and looked around to see if anyone saw me.

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For anyone who dislikes Bobby Flay...

There is also the lowbrow

Ask Bobby something silly

It reads like a desperate 2nd to last SNL skit that would have aired during a writer's strike.

My early favorite Floppy Boob rebuttals are:

(In no particular order)

1.Don't freak out. I honestly don't know.

2.For the love of God, just calm down Lucy.

3.You are really falling apart. (in response to a woman who is coming to NYC after hip replacement and pneumonia. Nice!)

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I happened to come home to my wife watching this as it was winding down. I have no idea who that punk *** little kid was who was doing the bobby flay by jumping up on the counter and screaming, but I wanted to shoot him really badly.

The only part of the program I found interesting was that towards the end they let the chef's come in for some miracle work on anything wrong with the celebrities' dishes before the time runs out. Wolfgang Puck put the skewers of chicken satay back on the burner after his young punk c-rate celeb had already taken them off the burner.

The judges said that the sauce for the satay was great, if not a little too sweet, but the chicken was overcooked and dry ... :)

The biggest problem with the show (other than the horrible has been celebs and the obvious touting of Wolfgang Puck) was that there was no weighting for degree of difficulty for the dishes chosen. The little punk made vegetarian pizza, creme' brulee and chicken satay ... versus people cooking with much more complicated foods. Plus there was no theme, so it wasn't even skill to skill.

Horrible show ... I was very glad when my 15 minutes of torture ended so that I could grab the remote back.

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If and when,

..no, wait

WHEN there is a tangent to this truly putrid televisionial fondue of celebrity L'epoisse, it should be:

Celebrity dishwasher.

I, chairman/dude/sir/man/guy/whatever Poivrot Farci, draw, pick or whatever to be my anti-septic lemon-flavored latex-glove clad porter to be:

(in order of choice/availability)

1. James Woods

2. Scott McClellan

2. Gary Busey

3. Charles Nelson Reiley

4. Sharon Stone

5. Charles Neslon Reiley

6. One of the Olsen Twins. (the fat one)

7. Ken Lay

Allez Lavez!

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i stayed up late this morning to see it for myself and then was so keyed up i couldn't fall asleep -- although i preferred the cooking program preceding it in which one contestant is asked each week to pack up and leave the show, ten little indians style. but honestly, there hasn't been this much excitement over flames since a few years ago when a headcase was lurking in grand central station and setting commuters' hair on fire. (unfortunately, i cannot remember anything that happened after tom arnold in a panic stuck two ramekins in the oven.)

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If and when,

..no, wait

WHEN there is a tangent to this truly putrid televisionial fondue of celebrity L'epoisse, it should be:

Celebrity dishwasher.

I, chairman/dude/sir/man/guy/whatever Poivrot Farci, draw, pick or whatever to be my anti-septic lemon-flavored latex-glove clad porter to be:

(in order of choice/availability)

1.  James Woods

2. Scott McClellan

2. Gary Busey

3. Charles Nelson Reiley

4. Sharon Stone

5. Charles Neslon Reiley

6. One of the Olsen Twins. (the fat one)

7. Ken Lay

Allez Lavez!

You forgot Richard Simmons and Donald Trump.

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awwwwwwwwwwwww...what to do now?

Sudden brainstorm: lobby Comcast/Discovery Networks/Time-Warner/Disney/whomever to create an all-pork channel. Swinevision. HogTV. Something like that. For starters, they could program Two Fat Ladies reruns. And just about any self-respecting BBQ show.

Ancillary thought: the Umami Network. 'nuff said.

FFS, it's gotta be better than CSPAN2...

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Sudden brainstorm: lobby Comcast/Discovery Networks/Time-Warner/Disney/whomever to create an all-pork channel.  Swinevision.  HogTV.  Something like that.  For starters, they could program Two Fat Ladies reruns.  And just about any self-respecting BBQ show.

Ancillary thought: the Umami Network.  'nuff said.

FFS, it's gotta be better than CSPAN2...

You'll make billions, billions!

"Bacon tastes good, pork chops taste good, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie..."

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