The Horrors Of McDonald's - A $27 Billion Dollar Franchise, Ending Humanity, One Sandwich at a Time

[DanielK]

I had my first McRib in 1984.

Wonder if that one has decomposed yet.

[Pool Boy]

Built to Last. This is actually fairly incredible. McDonald's Happy Meal didn't decompose after six months.

As horrible as that sounds, it's not exactly a fair demonstration. There should be a few other test cases alongside it -- a made at home burger and fries. Maybe something that spoils quickly (chicken?) and maybe something like a salad. Just to see how each of them fares to see how gross each one gets.

[leleboo]

As horrible as that sounds, it's not exactly a fair demonstration. There should be a few other test cases alongside it -- a made at home burger and fries. Maybe something that spoils quickly (chicken?) and maybe something like a salad. Just to see how each of them fares to see how gross each one gets.

There is a comparison of a fast food meal versus homemade. I'm trying to figure out what the right search terms are to find it; I've seen the pictures before, and the homemade spoiled in a day while the other lasted a week or more, IIRC.

[Antonio Burrell]

As horrible as that sounds, it's not exactly a fair demonstration. There should be a few other test cases alongside it -- a made at home burger and fries. Maybe something that spoils quickly (chicken?) and maybe something like a salad. Just to see how each of them fares to see how gross each one gets.

I thought about that too as I looked at the slides. If you leave something like that out at room tempeture, with constant lighting on it it will simply dehydrate, which it seems to have done. If there isnt any moisture in the meat or bread or fries then bactieria and mold can't grow. No doubt there are a lot of preservatives in fast food, but it seems fairly straight forward.

[DrXmus]

I had my first McRib in 1984.

I was working at McDonald's when the McRib was introduced. I was 16 and would eat anything, but only ate one McRib sandwich:-)

[Jarad Slipp]

There is a comparison of a fast food meal versus homemade. I'm trying to figure out what the right search terms are to find it; I've seen the pictures before, and the homemade spoiled in a day while the other lasted a week or more, IIRC.

Check out the DVD extras on Super Size Me. They do a side by side of McDonalds vs. Corner Bistro in NYC under bell jars - rather scary really. When the Corner Bistro is a quivering mass of goo, McDonalds looks pristine. But God Damn if elastic polymers aren't delish.....

[Joe H]

I was working at McDonald's when the McRib was introduced. I was 16 and would eat anything, but only ate one McRib sandwich:-)

I hope somebody can one up me on this but when the first McDonald's opened in Hybla Valley my parents and I would drive to it on Saturday nights from Piney Branch and Flower. ("Forty five cents for a three course meal...") This was before the Beltway was built. When their second location opened on the Rockville Pike it was a gift of sorts-only a half hour drive from Silver Spring.

Almost a quarter of a century later Don had his first McRib.

[Jeff White]

I hope somebody can one up me on this...

It was always a treat when our family stopped at McDs on the way home from church in Fairfax. This one was located beside the old Fairfax high school and was the original design with built in arches and white tiled benches where we would eat out lunch.

Later in college my friends and I would also frequent the chain but we called it McDeaths.

[slarochelle]

Check out the DVD extras on Super Size Me. They do a side by side of McDonalds vs. Corner Bistro in NYC under bell jars - rather scary really. When the Corner Bistro is a quivering mass of goo, McDonalds looks pristine. But God Damn if elastic polymers aren't delish.....

I think what you are referring to is this:

YouTube Supersize Me McDonalds Fast Food Test

[Lydia R]

The October edition of Fast Company magazine focuses on design. The article, Making Over McDonald's, by Ben Paynter details McDonald's new tactics:

Inside the $2.4 billion plan to change the way you think about the most iconic restaurant on the planet.

<snip>

Next year, McDonald's will launch its first total makeover campaign since the Carter administration, allocating $2.4 billion to redo at least 400 domestic outposts, refurbish 1,600 restaurants abroad, and build another 1,000.

<snip>

Over the past two years, Weil has tested modern renovations throughout the United States, in such varied locales as Manhattan, Los Angeles, and Kearney, Missouri. In July, the company reported a 6% to 7% sales jump at U.S. stores that had been redesigned.

[thetrain]

I thought about that too as I looked at the slides. If you leave something like that out at room tempeture, with constant lighting on it it will simply dehydrate, which it seems to have done. If there isnt any moisture in the meat or bread or fries then bactieria and mold can't grow. No doubt there are a lot of preservatives in fast food, but it seems fairly straight forward.

A fairly scientific test supporting your theory.

[beachgirl54]

Just learned an interesting fact at an industry conference I'm attending (which Don made me think about when, in another post , he alluded to WalMart supporting organic farmers):

McDonald's, because of their fruit smoothies, is the largest purchaser of blueberries in the United States. In fact, the initial rollout of the fruit smoothies was supposed to be three years ago, but the suppliers of blueberries would not have been able to keep up with the demand so they delayed the launch.

They are also, because of their salads and apple dippers, the largest purchaser of apples in the United States.

This comes straight from a McDonald's employee.

[DanielK]

This comes straight from a McDonald's employee.

Therefore it MUST be true!

A little Google research suggests that they are certainly the largest RESTAURANT purchaser of apples, but possibly beat out overall by WalMart.

[mdt]

Just learned an interesting fact at an industry conference I'm attending (which Don made me think about when, in another post , he alluded to WalMart supporting organic farmers):

McDonald's, because of their fruit smoothies, is the largest purchaser of blueberries in the United States. In fact, the initial rollout of the fruit smoothies was supposed to be three years ago, but the suppliers of blueberries would not have been able to keep up with the demand so they delayed the launch.

They are also, because of their salads and apple dippers, the largest purchaser of apples in the United States.

This comes straight from a McDonald's employee.

Is this a good thing?

[Mark Slater]

This popped up on Chowhound the other day. Totally amusing. The "fancy" McDonalds.

[Barbara]

This popped up on Chowhound the other day. Totally amusing. The "fancy" McDonalds.

The person who wrote that the AdMo Mickey D's is in the building that used to house Gartenhaus Furs is WRONG! Gosh! Bad information on the interwebs, who knew? It is actually in a building that used to house a People's Drug store. The BB&T Bank across the street is in the old Gartenhaus building. And, yes, that is my name on the back of all those Heritage Trail signs in the neighborhood.

[beachgirl54]

Is this a good thing?

I honestly don' t know - part of me says that it is because it supports the farming industry overall, but then it also drives people to eat McDonald's icky food - and I admit that I do like their smoothies every now and then.

As for the fact that it must be true because it came from a McD's employee - it wasn't a line cook, but someone from corporate who represents the company in public forums. I have no reason not to believe her.

[goodeats]

Since I am on a coffee kick, I will hold out my fickle coffee snob status and proclaim that McDonald's iced coffee is actually quite delightful. This is after purchasing and downing a 24oz, mega, super size gulp original iced coffee as my co-pilot for the 13hr drive down to Orlando. It kept me awake, it didn't upset my stomach and it was actually quite flavorful. The only weird part of ordering this is that they add 6 pumps of sugar/simple syrup/syrup* to a large, as well as cream, so if you want less or more or not add something, you need to tell them when you order. As a comparison, I purchased a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee this past weekend, which I instantly regret after an initial taste, since it was really bland and, well, tasteless.

Which leads to my other comparison, which is purchasing the same 24oz (I think it's 24oz? It was a large for $2.05 after taxes) on the trip back, at a different McDonalds, with similar thoughts about the product post-consumption. Take this for what you will, but I guess I am a fan in a pinch, as I can never give up my Beanetics/Caffe Pronto/Central Roasters/Intelligentsia/Stumptown/Alterra fixes....

*Believe it or not, 6 pumps did not make the coffee sweet at all. I actually wished they put a bit more for my liking, but then I thought I shouldn't have that much sugar for a full-caffeinated-please-keep-me-awake-and-not-swerve-type of effect.

[bookluvingbabe]

I usually drink decaf but I too needed a little caffeine fix for our drive to Florida. I stuck to the smallest of the McDonald's iced coffees and had it unsweetened. I think it has good coffee flavor, is reasonably priced and as someone traveling with a small child--the bathrooms are consistently clean.

(BTW--we broke up the trip over two days each way and stopped for the night in Florence, SC. It is almost exactly midway between DC and Daytona which was our first destination. I'm not sure the little guy would have put up with more than 7-8 hours a day in the car, even with the portable dvd player at his command! Totally worth the extra money as a solo driver!)

I agree that the Dunkin Donuts has little to no flavor.

I did make notes about which exits have Starbucks so I could get iced decaf fixes the next time we do this!

Jennifer

Since I am on a coffee kick, I will hold out my fickle coffee snob status and proclaim that McDonald's iced coffee is actually quite delightful. This is after purchasing and downing a 24oz, mega, super size gulp original iced coffee as my co-pilot for the 13hr drive down to Orlando. It kept me awake, it didn't upset my stomach and it was actually quite flavorful. The only weird part of ordering this is that they add 6 pumps of sugar/simple syrup/syrup* to a large, as well as cream, so if you want less or more or not add something, you need to tell them when you order. As a comparison, I purchased a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee this past weekend, which I instantly regret after an initial taste, since it was really bland and, well, tasteless.

Which leads to my other comparison, which is purchasing the same 24oz (I think it's 24oz? It was a large for $2.05 after taxes) on the trip back, at a different McDonalds, with similar thoughts about the product post-consumption. Take this for what you will, but I guess I am a fan in a pinch, as I can never give up my Beanetics/Caffe Pronto/Central Roasters/Intelligentsia/Stumptown/Alterra fixes....

*Believe it or not, 6 pumps did not make the coffee sweet at all. I actually wished they put a bit more for my liking, but then I thought I shouldn't have that much sugar for a full-caffeinated-please-keep-me-awake-and-not-swerve-type of effect.

[weezy]

I went thru a McD's drive-thru window on the Saturday before July 4th, as I was leaving town on 95-S at the buttcrack of dawn, and ordered an iced coffee with plain milk only -- and I was that specific about my order: unsweetened, only iced coffee and plain milk. And that's what the video screen at the order post showed back to me.

I got on the highway and discovered I had gotten the 6 pumps of sweetened flavored milky crap added. For someone who abhors sweetened coffee (unless we're talking the ice cream flavor), it was definitely too sweet and the flavoring was awful as well. I have no idea if their iced coffee is any good or not because the coffee flavor was completely obliterated by the un-asked for additions.

Next time -- if there is a next time -- I'll go into the store to place such an incredibly complicated order.

[goodeats]

I went thru a McD's drive-thru window on the Saturday before July 4th, as I was leaving town on 95-S at the buttcrack of dawn, and ordered an iced coffee with plain milk only -- and I was that specific about my order: unsweetened, only iced coffee and plain milk. And that's what the video screen at the order post showed back to me.

Next time -- if there is a next time -- I'll go into the store to place such an incredibly complicated order.

I think it's because they are on auto pilot - the drone of the assembly line effect, as anytime I deviate from a menu order, whether it'd be hold the sauce or add mustard instead of ketchup, regardless of what it shows up on my receipt or on their menu screen, they still manage to mess it up, without a doubt (okay maybe less than 2% they get it right). So, now I just check before I drive away or take a bite. *sigh*

[jayandstacey]

In fairness, McDonald's itself denies it is a restaurant.

[pizza man]

Once I went through the drive through at McD's, ordered two cheeseburgers, (the cheap ones with one patty, pickles, onions, ketchup, and mustard) I received two buns with pickles, onions, ketchup, and mustard-no patty.

[schulju]

Once I went through the drive through at McD's, ordered two cheeseburgers, (the cheap ones with one patty, pickles, onions, ketchup, and mustard) I received two buns with pickles, onions, ketchup, and mustard-no patty.

Sad thing is, I'm not sure if you were better off or not....

[mtureck]

Just for the record, new Spicy Chicken McBites are substantially better than the non-spicy version.

OK, back to whatever you were doing...

[DonRocks]

Just for the record, new Spicy Chicken McBites are substantially better than the non-spicy version.

OK, back to whatever you were doing...

Click

[mtureck]

Click

I've inspired a DR tweet...scratch that one off my bucket list.

[DonRocks]

I've inspired a DR tweet...scratch that one off my bucket list.

There really are moments when I want to say "fuck it," tear my clothing into shreds, walk somewhere into a back alley, cozy up next to a rat, drink vodka from a paper bag, and fill up on Slim Jims and Andy Capp's Hot Fries.

And then I think to myself, 'Hey, wait a minute ... New York Avenue Beach Bar!'

(No I haven't been, so that was the cheapest possible low blow someone could make.),

[deangold]

There really are moments when I want to say "fuck it," tear my clothing into shreds, walk somewhere into a back alley, cozy up next to a rat, drink vodka from a paper bag, and fill up on Slim Jims and Andy Capp's Hot Fries.

Not Mad Dog?

[synaesthesia]

Just for the record, new Spicy Chicken McBites are substantially better than the non-spicy version.

OK, back to whatever you were doing...

That is sad. I have not had the originals, but I did happen to try the spicy ones and wow. Like eating spicy, salty bundles of uncooked flour.

[qwertyy]

Time for me to come clean: I had the first Big Mac of my life about a year ago, and I kind of loved it. No kidding. And now I'm addicted to it as 2am post-bar food. I know I should be going to the Falafelshop but I keep going back there. I don't even like the french fries, just the special-saucy/sugar-laden/limp-lettuce/grey-meat burgerness of it. Chalk it up to a Happy Meal being a special treat out when I was a kid and eating bland home-cooked meals was dull. That damn watery orange drink and syrupy-sweet cheeseburger had me at hello. Help me.

[DonRocks]

Time for me to come clean: I had the first Big Mac of my life about a year ago, and I kind of loved it. No kidding. And now I'm addicted to it as 2am post-bar food. I know I should be going to the Falafelshop but I keep going back there. I don't even like the french fries, just the special-saucy/sugar-laden/limp-lettuce/grey-meat burgerness of it. Chalk it up to a Happy Meal being a special treat out when I was a kid and eating bland home-cooked meals was dull. That damn watery orange drink and syrupy-sweet cheeseburger had me at hello. Help me.

Pretty damned dramatic modulation from C major to D major - ahead of its time.

Yes I have perfect pitch, and can tell you what note you burp in.

[Barbara]

Time for me to come clean: I had the first Big Mac of my life about a year ago, and I kind of loved it. No kidding. And now I'm addicted to it as 2am post-bar food. I know I should be going to the Falafelshop but I keep going back there. I don't even like the french fries, just the special-saucy/sugar-laden/limp-lettuce/grey-meat burgerness of it. Chalk it up to a Happy Meal being a special treat out when I was a kid and eating bland home-cooked meals was dull. That damn watery orange drink and syrupy-sweet cheeseburger had me at hello. Help me.

Go get the falafel. You won't hate yourself in the morning.

[jayandstacey]

Pretty damned dramatic modulation from C major to D major - ahead of its time.

Few people know this, but Williard Scott was once a weatherman.

[DonRocks]

Few people know this, but Williard Scott was once a weatherman.

Was Willard Scott ever anything but a weatherman?

[Bob Wells]

Was Willard Scott ever anything but a weatherman?

For many years Willard was a Joy Boy.

http://www.thejoyboys.com/

[JDawgBBall9]

Time for me to come clean: I had the first Big Mac of my life about a year ago, and I kind of loved it. No kidding. And now I'm addicted to it as 2am post-bar food. I know I should be going to the Falafelshop but I keep going back there. I don't even like the french fries, just the special-saucy/sugar-laden/limp-lettuce/grey-meat burgerness of it. Chalk it up to a Happy Meal being a special treat out when I was a kid and eating bland home-cooked meals was dull. That damn watery orange drink and syrupy-sweet cheeseburger had me at hello. Help me.

Go get the falafel. You won't hate yourself in the morning.

I lived across the street from a McDonald's during the height of my college years. Let's just say there were many mornings where I felt like two bears were fighting in my stomach and I would say "never again" only to end up destroying the dollar menu a couple weeks later.

Coincidentally, an English professor I had said he was a part-owner of Amsterdam Falafelshop but I no longer see him on the website. I still have never been, oh well.

Speaking of bear fights, that was always a good one...an Irish Car Bomb and a Jägerbomb taken one after the other. I'm not sure if I miss those days or not....

[dcs]

I lived across the street from a McDonald's during the height of my college years. Let's just say there were many mornings where I felt like two bears were fighting in my stomach and I would say "never again" only to end up destroying the dollar menu a couple weeks later.

Perhaps you were just a victim of advertising.

[JDawgBBall9]

Perhaps you were just a victim of advertising.

Nope, just drunk

[dpamlin]

At the risk of embarrassing myself and destroying any sliver of credibility I have (or hope to have) here, breakfast at McDonalds is, ahem, not bad. There is something magical about the Egg McMuffin, the bacon, egg & cheese biscuit is darn good, and the hotcakes are also quite edible.

(ducks for cover)

[SeanMike]

There really are moments when I want to say "fuck it," tear my clothing into shreds, walk somewhere into a back alley, cozy up next to a rat, drink vodka from a paper bag, and fill up on Slim Jims and Andy Capp's Hot Fries.

The only problem I see with that is the vodka. Gotta go with cheap scotch, man! Or gin.

[hoosiereph]

At the risk of embarrassing myself ... breakfast at McDonalds is, ahem, not bad.

Likewise, the snack-size fruit-and-yogurt parfaitis not a bad way to satisfy the need for a frozen treat on a hot day -- without breaking the bank or the diet.

[bookluvingbabe]

At the risk of embarrassing myself and destroying any sliver of credibility I have (or hope to have) here, breakfast at McDonalds is, ahem, not bad. There is something magical about the Egg McMuffin, the bacon, egg & cheese biscuit is darn good, and the hotcakes are also quite edible.

(ducks for cover)

I am quite fond of the bacon egg and cheese biscuit. I don't the hotcakes of today are as good as they were when I was a kid. I also really like the iced coffee (unsweetened.)

[Dr. Delicious]

Using syrup-infused pancakes as bread is a revelation. The McGriddle is a gift from the gods.

[mtureck]

Using syrup-infused pancakes as bread is a revelation. The McGriddle is a gift from the gods.

Molecular gastronomy at its finest...Rogue 24 has nothing on McDonalds. Sorry RJ!

[jayandstacey]

At the risk of embarrassing myself and destroying any sliver of credibility I have (or hope to have) here, breakfast at McDonalds is, ahem, not bad. There is something magical about the Egg McMuffin, the bacon, egg & cheese biscuit is darn good, and the hotcakes are also quite edible.

Many years ago, I was pleased to find Costco frozen sausage patties that closely mimicked the McDonald's offering with the convenience of home. I've improved my sausage palate since then, though I wouldn't say I've reached charcuterie actualization.

At the end of the day there's something to be said for the sharp tang of the McDonald's sausage patty. The meat texture is something not to think about - but the flavor - its so unique. Salt? Pepper? Magic sauce? I think the McDonalds cheese also has that magic tang in it, such that the tastebud excitement becomes literally addictive. Especially when the sausage and cheese are combined for a double-whammy mouth event.

[jayandstacey]

Was Willard Scott ever anything but a weatherman?

Sorry, that was an inside McDonald's joke.

[goodeats]

Was Willard Scott ever anything but a weatherman?

Sorry, that was an inside McDonald's joke.

I feel like I missed something, considering that Willard Scott was the first Ronald McDonald...(very appropo, non?)

[back into the cave I go. It'll be sporadic.]

[jayandstacey]

I feel like I missed something, considering that Willard Scott was the first Ronald McDonald...(very appropo, non?)

Zactly. So Don links to an old McD's commercial and points out how the modulation change was ahead of its time. So since we were talking McD's insider's arcane references...it was seem funny (only to me) that a McD's inside fan might say to another...'hey, did you know Williard Scott was also a weatherman..." the underlying shared knowledgebase being, of course, that he was the first, and for some time the only, Ronald McDonald.

OK, so anything that needs that much explanation assuredly is not funny and best dismissed with a 'nevermind'

Did you know that the first pop iteration of "You deserve a break today" was performed by Barry Manilow? And that Mr. Manilow wrote/performed the original "Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there" and "I am stuck on Bandaids, cause Bandaids' stuck on me."

[goodeats]

Thanks jayandstacey! I really needed that laugh and explanation. I also love the trivia (which hopefully will be handy in this week's trivia quest).

On a separate note, I found it interesting that the commercial featured paper boxes...my first introduction of McDonald's was in Styrofoam boxes. I also miss the old Birdie and Grimace commercials (Bring back Mayor McCheese!).