Better Drinking Through Chemistry

[Meaghan]

From October 10 London Times

[LolaDC]

This just makes me sad. Soon, we'll be able to experience the joys of drinking fine wine without actually having to drink it. Through virtual reality or brain zapping or something. It's terrible.

[TedE]

This reminds me of those little magnetic collars you can get that supposedly perform the mellowing magic on the wine as it is poured (I've never personally been able to tell the difference), albeit on a much grander scale.

Devices like these raise some very interesting philosophical and psychological issues. I think it's pretty clear that a sizeable chunk of the wine world is influenced heavily by tradition and prestige. Yes, there are certain wines, often retailing for exhorbitant sums, that are truly transporting; but there are many, many more that get by simply because they are supposed to be good (see Exhibit A). When someone comes around with technology that threatens to level the playing field a bit many will cry foul (I would bet my life savings that the community of those thoroughly opposed to electrolytic wine transformation would correlate highly to those opposed to the Stelvin cap). I personally don't see anything wrong with this. It's not sad; it's progress. This isn't something trying to "trick" you into believing you are drinking something that you are not. You are drinking a product whose flavor profile has been enhanced through something other than aging. Big whoop. Bring on the cybernetically-enhanced plonk!

(I doubt this would even work on real plonk. From reading the article the original wine is going to need some backbone of its own to provide a foundation. I think of it as a time machine for unmatured wines, forgoing the concerns of proper storage.)

[LolaDC]

This isn't something trying to "trick" you into believing you are drinking something that you are not.  You are drinking a product whose flavor profile has been enhanced through something other than aging. 

You make some good points, but I still think there's something to be said for the traditional method of aging wine. Either way, it will be interesting to see how this plays out.

[deangold]

From October 10 London Times

Every few years there are reports of electrolytic ot cvatalytic devices that raise gas mileage by 10% or 50% or more. Doesn't mean they work. When there is more than a 3 person panel from a newspaper involved, it will be interesting news. Now its just a claim, unsuported. Was the tasting blind? What were the protocols. Is a sample of 2 wines that, frankly, I would never think of consuming, any kind of general test?

[John Wabeck]

Any e-gullet vets remember the wine clip train wreck?

[Al Dente]

Any e-gullet vets remember the wine clip train wreck?

It was at least as entertaining as professional wrestling.

[TedE]

You make some good points, but I still think there's something to be said for the traditional method of aging wine.  Either way, it will be interesting to see how this plays out.

I think there is everything to be said about the traditional method of aging wine. I don't view this as trying to compete with that method (disregarding the slant that seems to be put on it). I would not expect the same results, just similar results. There is undoubtedly a combination of chemical and physical factors that make an aged wine an aged wine. It sounds to me like they've only cracked one of them, albeit an apparently important and pivotal one tastewise.

Dean, I agree that it will be interesting to watch this play out if and when it gains broader acceptance, but be careful what you wish for regarding double-blind, rigorously scientific tasting studies. Time and time again they've shown that perception is the independant variable that determines which is the "better" wine. By far. And the effect seems to correlate positively with experience and expert knowledge

I'm sure some eggheads get a perverse pleasure in beating effete wine snobs at their own game, but data is as data does.

[shogun]

It was at least as entertaining as professional wrestling.

There was a surprisingly earnest thread about the 'vodka filter', too. Sometimes, people want to believe.

[deangold]

Dean, I agree that it will be interesting to watch this play out if and when it gains broader acceptance, but be careful what you wish for regarding double-blind, rigorously scientific tasting studies.  Time and time again they've shown that perception is the independant variable that determines which is the "better" wine.  By far.  And the effect seems to correlate positively with experience and expert knowledge 

I'm sure some eggheads get a perverse pleasure in beating effete wine snobs at their own game, but data is as data does.

Hey I am the one who doesn't read any of the wine press for ratings. I know that there is no "objective" scale for tasting wine. In fact, there is no objective study aroun showing that anyone can reliably assign more than a 7 point scale and have any sort of tasting consistency. I always have a laugh when I see the 100 point scale. I also laugh when I see a panel tasting of, say Dolcetto or Rosso di Montalcino where the top score is around 90 and then a Brunello or Barolo panel where the scores are way up in the upper 90's. If I am in the mood for uncomplicate drinking, or I am having spicy and flavorful foods or even some sharp cheeses, the dolcetto or rosso will be the better wine ba far yet it never seems to score as high.

[dmwine]

The scary thing is, I understand this headline!

[Heather]

Gah. That is precisely the reason I don't drink that stuff. I am convinced part of being a supertaster is oversensitivity to odors too.

[Mark Slater]

"Cat's pee on a gooseberry bush", but in a good way.

NOT

[dmwine]

"Cat's pee on a gooseberry bush", but in a good way.

NOT

There was someone in the DC retail scene several years ago (thankfully moved West, never to be seen again) who used to describe Mourvedre as "the good side of baby diapers."

[Mark Slater]

There was someone in the DC retail scene several years ago (thankfully moved West, never to be seen again) who used to describe Mourvedre as "the good side of baby diapers."

Dave, that's hysterical. Just recently, someone asked me to describe a wine I recommended. "Cigar-box, tar, pencil shavings, barnyard"...... you should have seen the horrified look on their faces. There was no way to save that one. My personal favorite descriptor is "Horse sweat".

[dmwine]

"Cigar-box, tar, pencil shavings, barnyard"

Sounds like a balanced diet to me!

If the wine is good, "barnyard" = "earth"

[deangold]

To my friend Dino Tantawi Negroamaro smells like ass! I don't think he means donkey either!!!

[vinist]

I have a coworker who is constantly shocking sales reps and winemakers alike with his descriptors.

An Gruner Veltliner the other day- "wasabi peas"

A Northern Italian white, can't even remember the varietal- "you know that bubble gum you used to get with an old pack of baseball cards?"

And my favorite, to describe Bollinger Special Cuvee- "Turkey!"

The thing is, he's always dead on. open a bottle of Bollinger Special Cuvee. See for yourself.

[porcupine]

"...you don't so much drink the wine as you frown and then make a thoughtful remark about it... 'It's lucid, yes, but almost Episcopalian in its predictability.' "

"It was a wine that I would describe as yellow in color, and everybody at my table agreed it was awful. 'Much too woody,' said one person. 'Heavily oxidized,' said another. 'Bat urine,' I offered. The others felt this was a tad harsh. I was the only one who finished my glass."

-Dave Barry, "Daze of Wine and Roses"

[Joe Riley]

Courtesy of Monty Python:

"A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh Australian table wines. This is a pity as many fine Australian wines appeal not only to the Australian palate but also to the cognoscenti of Great Britain.

Black Stump Bordeaux is rightly praised as a peppermint flavoured Burgundy, whilst a good Sydney Syrup can rank with any of the world's best sugary wines.

Château Blue, too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and its lingering afterburn.

Old Smokey 1968 has been compared favourably to a Welsh claret, whilst the Australian Wino Society thoroughly recommends a 1970 Coq du Rod Laver, which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule: 8 bottles of this and you're really finished. At the opening of the Sydney Bridge Club, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an hour.

Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is 'beware'. This is not a wine for drinking, this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

Another good fighting wine is Melbourne Old-and-Yellow, which is particularly heavy and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat.

Quite the reverse is true of Château Chunder, which is an appellation contrôlée, specially grown for those keen on regurgitation; a fine wine which really opens up the sluices at both ends.

Real emetic fans will also go for a Hobart Muddy, and a prize winning Cuivre Reserve Château Bottled Nuit San Wogga Wogga, which has a bouquet like an aborigine's armpit."

[RaisaB]

Dave, that's hysterical. Just recently, someone asked me to describe a wine I recommended. "Cigar-box, tar, pencil shavings, barnyard"...... you should have seen the horrified look on their faces. There was no way to save that one. My personal favorite descriptor is "Horse sweat".

If you had recommended that to me, I would of purchased it immediately. Barnyard is my favorite smell in a good Burgundy.

[tabindc]

There is in fact a wine available in the US from Coopers Creek Winery called "Cat's Phee on a Gooseberry Bush." About $10 and a very good representation of that style.

[PollyG]

There is in fact a wine available in the US from Coopers Creek Winery called "Cat's Phee on a Gooseberry Bush." About $10 and a very good representation of that style.

But will the Japanese robot wine nose describe it as cat piss?

[DameEdna]

The general theme of this article is that, with a little careful laboratory work, winemakers

will be able to produce perfect wine:

click

My paranoid reading between the lines is that so many wines will taste like a "Robert Parker

rates it a 100!" wine that even Robert Parker will be disgusted.

Am I saying that we may some find ourselves "dreck wine" deprived? Maybe so.

[Heather]

Am I saying that we may some find ourselves "dreck wine" deprived? Maybe so.

After last night I think that might be a good thing.

I loved this:

"We're trying to make better wine through alchemy," joked Jim Fullmer, director of the Philomath, Ore.-based Demeter Association, a non-profit group that certifies vineyards as "biodynamic" — a sort of hyper-organic designation that means the vintner relies on such things as lunar cycles and planetary alignment rather than chemistry.

Right on.

[TedE]

Wired article

Some of this stuff looks interesting enough to be worthwhile (the two jellied concoctions), but dehydrated rum? Vanilla bean wine? Dumb.

[Sthitch]

Wired article

Some of this stuff looks interesting enough to be worthwhile (the two jellied concoctions), but dehydrated rum? Vanilla bean wine? Dumb.

There has to a reason why the caramelized wine (the aforementioned "vanilla bean wine") has remained a standard at Moto. There is really not much that Homaro Cantu does with a consumables that can be called dumb.

[TedE]

There has to a reason why the caramelized wine (the aforementioned "vanilla bean wine") has remained a standard at Moto. There is really not much that Homaro Cantu does with a consumables that can be called dumb.

I think dumb here is in the eye of the beholder, and that eye in this case is mine. Different strokes and all that.

[KOK]

Wired article

Some of this stuff looks interesting enough to be worthwhile (the two jellied concoctions), but dehydrated rum? Vanilla bean wine? Dumb.

Unless the dehydrated rum is like the dehydrated vodka they had in a Jerry Lewis movie about a hundred years ago called 'Way, Way Out', where they added water to a pill to make a bottle of vodka, I agree that it's kind of dumb.

Thanks,

Kevin

[Sthitch]

I think dumb here is in the eye of the beholder, and that eye in this case is mine. Different strokes and all that.

Yeah, it is always shows great wisdom to call something dumb before trying it.

[TedE]

Yeah, it is always shows great wisdom to call something dumb before trying it.

Not claiming any great wisdom here, just calling out a piece of mixological fantasy for what it is. Ummm, uh, yeah: mixological fantasy. My tastes in adult beverages run a little less avant garde. Let's be honest: a "refined" taste for alcohol is merely a social excuse for the drinky-drinky. If Pomerol/Barolo/boutique Cab Sav didn't have the potential side effect of getting you snookered I don't think anybody would be waxing poetic over their flavor profiles or forking over several bills for a bottle. Just callin' 'em as I see 'em. To me (me, me, MEEEEE!) dehydrated rum and wine infused with vanilla bean vapor isn't worth the time/cost/effort (nor is high dollar Pomerol/Barolo/boutique Cab Sauv). The jellied concoctions hold my interest only because, well, they seem interesting (see(!), now you've done it and made me be consistent and reveal my whole only-interesting-because-I-think-it's-interesting gambit). If Homaro is a friend, I apologize. Were I to sit down at that bar I would not be ordering said drink. What a 'tender can do with a vodka tonic tells me infinitely more about their skills behind the rail.

edit: cuz I had a bit of the drinky-drinky this evening and can't spell so good

and, good lord, I'm a moron with the formatting. look, ma, post 200!