Strange Things You Eat or Want to Try

[DameEdna]

Vanilla ice cream with cherry flavored cough syrup (the kind with codeine) for a sauce. I was probably 8 years old.

[purplesachi]

spaghetti and hotdogs (like, chopped up hotdogs in the sauce). oh, and the SO dips his potato chips in jello. this is the only occasion in which ruffled chips are ok to eat (at least this is what he claims). i guess non-ridged potato chips just don't hold up?

[lizzie]

bread with butter and colored sprinkles (or just sugar if in a pinch). An old aussie neighbor of mine served it to her kids and called it "fairy bread". I say it's good for grown up kids too. Extra points for crustless wonder bread!!

This is a traditional Dutch afterschool snack - the sprinkles are called hagelslag in Holland; one of those great gutteral Dutch words. My family favors chocolate sprinkles but they come in many flavors, inclduing anise. My daughter prefers nutella to butter under her sprinkles.

[Heather]

oh, and the SO dips his potato chips in jello. this is the only occasion in which ruffled chips are ok to eat (at least this is what he claims). i guess non-ridged potato chips just don't hold up?

Prepared jello, or jello powder? Either way,

[purplesachi]

oh. definitely prepared jello. we'll go and visit his parents and his mom will make a jello mold with fruit in it, and i'll look over and he's scooping the jello onto the potato chips and mowing. strange boy. (i wonder if he's tried just the powder packets and potato chips... )

[zoramargolis]

This is a traditional Dutch afterschool snack - the sprinkles are called hagelslag in Holland; one of those great gutteral Dutch words. My family favors chocolate sprinkles but they come in many flavors, inclduing anise. My daughter prefers nutella to butter under her sprinkles.

My Dutch relatives call these -- and I'm going to spell this phonetically, because Dutch spelling is beyond my ken and it's probably spelled with an oe, a j and an umlaut -- "chocolata mershes" and "gestampte mershes." Maybe there are various names, or regional ones--they are from Haarlem, if that makes a difference.

[cheezepowder]

kimchee sandwiches - white bread, mayo, kimchee. sometimes, i'd add a slice of bologna.

I like kimchee sandwiches with buttered white toast and kimchee and also spaghetti sandwiches. Plus my mom used to fry either hot dog slices or bologna quarters in soy sauce and sugar for us to eat with our rice. I'll still make that sometimes when I'm feeling nostalgic.

spaghetti and hotdogs (like, chopped up hotdogs in the sauce).

Same here!

[oliveDC]

The "artsy" movie theater in my college town, Cinemopolis, used to have shaker containers of brewer's yeast that you could put on popcorn.

Aha. I knew there had to be sightings out there.

(I just bought a can to reinstate the tradition.)

[TinDC]

spaghetti and hotdogs (like, chopped up hotdogs in the sauce). oh, and the SO dips his potato chips in jello. this is the only occasion in which ruffled chips are ok to eat (at least this is what he claims). i guess non-ridged potato chips just don't hold up?

Not all that strange as I remember eating Spaghetti-O's growing up that came with hot dogs.

[hillvalley]

Keller's cocktail sauce out of the jar

[wineitup]

When I was a kid I had 2 strange things I remember eating. One was carrot sticks dipped in butterscotch. The other was chocolate chips cookies dipped in Heinz 57.

[Gastro888]

Ok, I'll 'fess up one of my weird eating habits. I loved a Budget Gourmet Swedish meatball entree, nuked for 7-8 minutes until the meatballs are somewhat dried and the gravy corners turn brown and crusty. Why, I don't know but damn, I love me some overnuked industrial food. I love me some chicken tail, too. I don't know why more people don't eat it - it's the best ratio of skin:fat:meat:bone. Oh yeah!

I have a friend who will eat a cheddar cheese & peanut butter & mayo sandwich on wheat toast. Bleah.

[bimbap]

As a child, whenever we had some leftover rice (in a Korean household, this was often), I would have a bowl of it mixed with a "special sauce" made from ketchup (only Heinz), pickle juice and soy sauce (sometimes substituting Worchestershire sauce if I wanted a little more spice). Oh the sweet, salty, sourness of it!

[brettashley01]

Scrambled eggs with maple syrup- havent had since I was a kid.

Sugar free red vines, seriously, sometimes they taste like plastic but i am addicted. also frozen pudding, and cool whip straight from the container... Burnt food too. I love the crust of any burnt bread/pizza, but am not a filling person. When I go out to dinner with my mom, I eat the crust of the bread and pass her the rest!

[Anna Blume]

SALTED butter

The crime of culinary cognoscenti. Whole Foods at Tenleytown at 6 PM on a Sunday night. Not a single roasting chicken in the store. No sour cream of any kind. No unsalted butter at a price I'm willing to pay for plain old ordinary weekday cooking. Never, ever put off the last grocery store trip on a weekend to this hour. The place was mobbed, too.

[JeffC]

When I was a kid, I loved pudding skins. Far and away my favorite treat--they were best just after forming, well before the pudding had hardened. And raw hot dogs wrapped in a slice of American cheese were great as an after-school snack.

When I'm feeling lazy and hungry, nothing quite does it like Wheat Thins and Gulden's spicy brown mustard. Yum......

[Barbara]

When I was a kid, I loved pudding skins.

Oh, Boy! Does THIS bring back memories. My mother used to make the very fudgy Jello pudding mix (not instant) and put it in some very nice stemmed glasses. I actually LOVED that skin which formed on top, not knowing that this is the result of several chemical reactions one finds in cooking with a thickener like corn starch.

BTW: Tom Power's chocolate tart fires up my memory cells. Except, of course, there is no "skin" and he has the flakiest crust imaginable. But, it comes as close to that deep, dark chocolate pudding that I remember from my childhood. Refined to the nth power. (Not to mention the carmelized banana and the scoop of chocolate ice cream, none of which my mother ever dreamed.)

[JeffC]

Oh, Boy! Does THIS bring back memories. My mother used to make the very fudgy Jello pudding mix (not instant) and put it in some very nice stemmed glasses. I actually LOVED that skin which formed on top, not knowing that this is the result of several chemical reactions one finds in cooking with a thickener like corn starch.

BTW: Tom Power's chocolate tart fires up my memory cells. Except, of course, there is no "skin" and he has the flakiest crust imaginable. But, it comes as close to that deep, dark chocolate pudding that I remember from my childhood. Refined to the nth power. (Not to mention the carmelized banana and the scoop of chocolate ice cream, none of which my mother ever dreamed.)

Yep, my grandmother used the Jello mix as well. She liked tapioca, my grandfather loved his butterscotch, and I wanted the chocolate. But of the three, I liked the butterscotch skins best. But the whole thing had a stealth element, 'cause she never liked the way I pilfered the skins before the pudding had properly set......

[brettashley01]

But of the three, I liked the butterscotch skins best.

Wow that just reminded me of something i used to love- fritos dipped in butterscotch pudding. Tried on a dare. But oh, the rewards...

[porcupine]

Wow that just reminded me of something i used to love- fritos dipped in butterscotch pudding. Tried on a dare. But oh, the rewards...

I'm having a Superintendent Parrot moment.

[Scott Johnston]

ahh this thread brings back memories

PB & Mayo sandwiches as a kid

French's Fried Onions from a can

Sardines with mustard on crackers

Kidney stew on waffles Christmas morning

Cottage cheese missed with Apple Butter (ala Peter Pan Inn)

Fried Chicken Livers with gravy over French fries

Pickled Eggs

[MsDiPesto]

Vanilla ice cream with cherry flavored cough syrup (the kind with codeine) for a sauce. I was probably 8 years old.

I've always wanted to do that! ...next time I get bronchitis...

[monsterriffs]

-potato chips with dijon mustard (prolly not that weird, but sooo delicious)

-moustokouloura (greek 'grape must' cookies) and vanilla soymilk

-natto (i'm still learning this one...)

-spaghetti & scrambled egg sandwich

[mame11]

I like those dehydrated marshmellows. I used to pick them out of the mix!

When I have a microwave, I have a bad habit... 1 ounce dark chocolate melted... mix in a teaspoon+ of peanut butter mixed and eat with a spoon.

I don't have a microwave right now :-(

(really the only thing I have ever used a microwave for at home)

Well, I bought some strawberries at TJ the other night. (I know, totally out of season and the opposite of my buy local/independent pledge... but they looked good and the other fruit at TJ didn't). I was craving something fruity and sweet. I light went off in my head and I thought... hmmm can't I melt chocolate on the stove. Who needs a microwave!

Yep, old fashion stuff still works.

(the chocolate covered strawberries hit the spot)

(one wonders how such good, almost wild, strawberries are grown in Florida in January.... wait, don't tell me Global Warming)

[mdt]

Well, I bought some strawberries at TJ the other night. (I know, totally out of season and the opposite of my buy local/independent pledge... but they looked good and the other fruit at TJ didn't). I was craving something fruity and sweet. I light went off in my head and I thought... hmmm can't I melt chocolate on the stove. Who needs a microwave!

Yep, old fashion stuff still works.

(the chocolate covered strawberries hit the spot)

(one wonders how such good, almost wild, strawberries are grown in Florida in January.... wait, don't tell me Global Warming)

Um, by using a greenhouse?

[zoramargolis]

As a counterpoint to the "Eeew, gross!" thread, where brave souls are revealing their comestible prejudices, I thought it would be interesting to reveal some of the more unusual or interesting things that we've eaten. Or would like to eat. A bit of history and/or context would make it all the more entertaining.

I'll start by reminiscing briefly about the "Offal Meal" where about a dozen hardy souls from the Chowhound board, met at Full Kee in Chinatown, and ordered every dish on the special menu: pig intestine in several different styles, duck feet, duck tongues, and duck blood. Just about anything is edible with enough ginger and garlic, is my recollection. The pig intestine (I kept thinking sausage casings without the yummy stuff the sausage-makers put inside) was pretty funky tasting, there's not much to eat on a duck tongue or a duck foot after you nibble at the webbing, and a little bit of duck blood goes a long way. I guess that it has a lot to do with a great fondness for what you grew up eating. I wonder how Chinese people would feel about kishke? They'd probably like gefilte fish, though.

My +1, who doesn't post here, has eaten guinea pig in Ecuador, which was probably in an "I can't insult my host" situation, since he is fairly finicky--he didn't accompany me to the offal meal :-D

[goldenticket]

My +1, who doesn't post here, has eaten guinea pig in Ecuador, which was probably in an "I can't insult my host" situation, since he is fairly finicky--he didn't accompany me to the offal meal :-D

I had the opportunity to try stewed gibnut on a trip to Belize two years ago. (I think this is the first time I've actually seen a picture of the live animal ) Probably somewhat similar to guinea pig (just a little bigger), we ordered it voluntarily - if it's good enough for the Queen, it's good enough for me! And it was actually not bad - of course the spicy components of the stew/gravy probably didn't hurt!

Unlike some of our friends in the other thread, I have tried the 1000 year egg in congee during a "WokWiz" tour in San Francisco's Chinatown. My memory is somewhat faint, but I think it was a bit tough and kind of pungent (not in a bad way) - I'd certainly try it again.

[Sthitch]

Unlike some of our friends in the other thread, I have tried the 1000 year egg in congee during a "WokWiz" tour in San Francisco's Chinatown. My memory is somewhat faint, but I think it was a bit tough and kind pungent (not in a bad way) - I'd certainly try it again.

I have had the infamous 1000 year old egg in Philadelphia and San Francisco, and the examples I have had are quite good, but the first bite of the first egg was a bit trying.

For me my first bonding moment with my now mother-in-law was over a grilled spleen sandwich. I also enjoyed an offal meal with her at the now defunct Elisabeth Daniel in San Francisco, we enjoyed veal brains, kidneys, sweetbreads, and three types of liver. To make this an even more memorable meal I asked her if I could marry her daughter.

[chickenlover]

Goat's Head Soup, aka "Mannish Water". I didn't know what I was eating at the time, but it was quite good.

[ol_ironstomach]

Seeing as how there simply aren't many opportunities to try woolly mammoth steak or 50,000 year-old horse marrow, my near-term aims are a lot more modest: very much looking forward to trying dondurma in Turkey next spring. Elastic, not-so-cold ice cream you eat with a knife and fork. I had dreams of something vaguely similar when I was a kid; wonder how the real thing will stack up? (For the record, I also used to dream about something rather like the Guinness smoothifier, except in a soft drink. Still waiting for that one to become reality.)

[Al Dente]

I'd like to go to an utterly decadent old school old world feast with ortolan and other game birds, truffles, foie gras, sweetbreads, and no wine under 50 years old. Then for dessert, I'd have Giada.

Thus far I've had duck tongue, duck feet, pig feet, various offal (most of which I'm not a big fan of-- I mean, come on, kidneys suck), bear, muskrat, grasshopper, jellyfish, and there was that time in Spain I ate some sort of meat substance which to this day I don't know what it was. I made as many edible animal noises as I could think of to the chick behind the tapas bar, but to no avail.

[Beto]

For me, it would have to be steamed silkworms, or bon dae gi eaten at a sidewalk stand in Korea. They tasted musty and earthy, but the most unsettling part is that they are full of liquid which gushes out of them upon being chewed.

Here's a look:

[purplesachi]

interesting thread. i've had cow brains in seville, spain about 8 years ago. i can't remember how they were prepared, but i do remember they were soft and squishy. i had to try it just once.

when i was younger, i used to devour balut (which scott has referenced here) before i realized what i was eating. when i finally recognized a beak , i put it down and never looked back.

i guess this isn't that unusual (or maybe it is?), but there is a filipino dish, dinaguan, which the sauce is made from pig's blood and vinegar (plus add in pig's ears, and other pork products for the meatier substance). upon first glance, unsuspecting non-filipinos are told it's "chocolate stew" because of it's dark color and find the taste quite appealing. but if you tell them first what it's made of, most people cringe at the thought.

[goldenticket]

Anybody else ever try the meal worms, grasshoppers (or were they crickets?), etc., at the long-departed Insect Club, way back when the Penn Quarter was more grunge than trendy? They were crunchy, slightly salty, and free if I remember correctly!

[phoqueen]

My +1, who doesn't post here, has eaten guinea pig in Ecuador, which was probably in an "I can't insult my host" situation, since he is fairly finicky--he didn't accompany me to the offal meal :-D

I had guinea pig (and alpaca and llama) when I was in Peru this summer. It was actually pretty good; tasted like pork. Though, I don't think I can look a guinea pig in the eye ever again.

[Scott Johnston]

Kidney Stew is a fav of mine Al Dente does not know what he is talking about, I had Fugu Sashi 10 years ago in DC, usual stuff others have mentioned already. Possum Stew in Lynchburg, VA, goat curry in Jamacia, horse in Europe, live goldfish in college, cow brains, roasted ants and grasshoppers in scouts, rattlesnake (does actually taste like chicken).

http://www.deependdining.com/

[synaesthesia]

Fish eyeballs are great.

There's a type of Chinese preserved egg that is way stronger than 1000 year old eggs. It sits in salt until it gets stinky, but boy is it good. I don't think you can usually get it at Chinese markets. It's a homemade thing. Kinda like the preserved tofu (not the same as Taiwanese stinky tofu) you can find at the Chinese stores.

I've yet to do the chicken hearts, but my sister says that they're like really tender chicken. I've seen that at the stores though.

[zoramargolis]

I've yet to do the chicken hearts, but my sister says that they're like really tender chicken. I've seen that at the stores though.

Heart is usually fairly chewy. If you think about it, muscle tissue that works harder is usually less "tender" and heart is a muscle that works 24/7, as long as the animal is alive. There is a Colombian dish called anticuchos which is strips of marinated beef heart that are skewered and grilled. Probably found elsewhere in South America, too. Quite tasty--heart, like other organ meats, has a strong, instense meaty flavor, whatever animal they are from.

[plunk]

I'd like to go to an utterly decadent old school old world feast with ortolan and other game birds, truffles, foie gras, sweetbreads, and no wine under 50 years old. Then for dessert, I'd have Giada.

You may find this planned feast a bit more difficult: click

[scottmcl]

I like brains and jellyfish - yum! Same for random mammal meat (goat, bison, etc.)

But an old Chinese g'friend brought over the 1000 year old eggs. Blech re: taste, texture and smell. My kitchen smelled for a day or so afterwards. Another weird (to me) food I really didn't like was marmite.

[PollyG]

As a counterpoint to the "Eeew, gross!" thread, where brave souls are revealing their comestible prejudices, I thought it would be interesting to reveal some of the more unusual or interesting things that we've eaten. Or would like to eat. A bit of history and/or context would make it all the more entertaining.

I'll start by reminiscing briefly about the "Offal Meal" where about a dozen hardy souls from the Chowhound board, met at Full Kee in Chinatown, and ordered every dish on the special menu: pig intestine in several different styles, duck feet, duck tongues, and duck blood. Just about anything is edible with enough ginger and garlic, is my recollection. The pig intestine (I kept thinking sausage casings without the yummy stuff the sausage-makers put inside) was pretty funky tasting, there's not much to eat on a duck tongue or a duck foot after you nibble at the webbing, and a little bit of duck blood goes a long way. I guess that it has a lot to do with a great fondness for what you grew up eating. I wonder how Chinese people would feel about kishke? They'd probably like gefilte fish, though.

My +1, who doesn't post here, has eaten guinea pig in Ecuador, which was probably in an "I can't insult my host" situation, since he is fairly finicky--he didn't accompany me to the offal meal :-D

[PollyG]

Phone call with my Brother-in-Law from some years back:

"Polly, you kno

w a lot about food. How are you supposed to eat a 1000 year-old egg?"

"I'm not sure, let me grab one of my Chinese cookbooks and see what it says."

"Does it say what you should do about the black stuff on the outside?"

"You mean the covering of ash and lye on the outside of the shell?"

"Oh, that's why my mouth burned when I bit into it."

*sounds of muffled snickering from my end*

"Maybe you should have called me

before

trying to eat it."

We ordered a plate of raw, marinated crab in-shell at a now-defunct Korean restaurant in Falls Church, dressed in full business suits. That was a bit of a challenge to eat, and probably one of the few times we should have listened as the waitress tried to talk us out of the order. It tasted great, but the mess wasn't worth it.

We weren't able to try dog in Korea. The chowpup was with us and would have rioted. We also never saw the fried silk worm larvae in Korea, though we didn't get much exposure to street food.

[monavano]

As a counterpoint to the "Eeew, gross!" thread, where brave souls are revealing their comestible prejudices, I thought it would be interesting to reveal some of the more unusual or interesting things that we've eaten. Or would like to eat. A bit of history and/or context would make it all the more entertaining.

I'll start by reminiscing briefly about the "Offal Meal" where about a dozen hardy souls from the Chowhound board, met at Full Kee in Chinatown, and ordered every dish on the special menu: pig intestine in several different styles, duck feet, duck tongues, and duck blood. Just about anything is edible with enough ginger and garlic, is my recollection. The pig intestine (I kept thinking sausage casings without the yummy stuff the sausage-makers put inside) was pretty funky tasting, there's not much to eat on a duck tongue or a duck foot after you nibble at the webbing, and a little bit of duck blood goes a long way. I guess that it has a lot to do with a great fondness for what you grew up eating. I wonder how Chinese people would feel about kishke? They'd probably like gefilte fish, though.

My +1, who doesn't post here, has eaten guinea pig in Ecuador, which was probably in an "I can't insult my host" situation, since he is fairly finicky--he didn't accompany me to the offal meal :-D

Duck's blood soup (czarnina) is treasured in Polish cooking. My mom loves the stuff but it's hard to come by since the days when she was a child and went down the street to the butcher with 2 quarters and a jar with vinegar. I'm not all that adventurous and never tried it. The most exotic thing I've eaten was alligator.

[1000yregg]

i think i've had a few pretty crazy foods

in China- Yang Tzou, I had drunken shrimp- basically a glass container of live shrimp soaking in chinese white wine. They twitched away as they slowly died in the alcohol at the table and when the dancing stoppped, we ate the shrimp - grey and cold, but not bad.

also in china, we had a whole turtle- we were told all parts were edible, so some of us ate parts of the gelatinous shell and the spinal cord.

organ meats- no problem, i love 1000 year egg in congee- it's great. balut is rather bland to me.

i would love to try prarie oysters and fugu someday

a great book is Extreme Cuisine with an intro by Tony Bourdain- fetal mice seems kind of disturbing- they pop like grapes.

i was also wondering if anyone on this board has had the chicken sashimi you can supposedly get in NYC

[Sthitch]

i was also wondering if anyone on this board has had the chicken sashimi you can supposedly get in NYC

I have an upcoming trip to Tokyo where I have been promised that we are going to be eating some. I look forward to trying it, along with lardos made from whale blubber and horse mane fat.

[Xochitl10]

I've had bear (greasy, fishy-tasting meat ) and jellyfish. Several times at our local Okinawan joint, we've had umi budou, a seaweed from Okinawa that looks like little teeny-tiny green grapes. They release an oceany-tasting, viscous liquid upon chewing. Last night, we had some fantastic grilled pork cartilage.

[Poivrot Farci]

Consider the meat smoothie.

Whilst frying 1 lb of bacon for said smoothie during the “who can eat the most meat” competition (the Mt. St. Elias of documentary/game show/Canadian TV), Kenny lamented how pissed his Rabbi would be. Spenny ate virtually an entire turkey and will allegedly never touch the stuff again, claiming his bathroom later smelled just like Thanksgiving...only without the cranberry sauce and fixin's.

[Escoffier]

I've had dog (in Taiwan and Korea), fugu in Tokyo and Seoul, Caribou in Yellowknife, Bear in Great Slave Lake, Elk in a number of places, Reindeer (at least that's what I was told it was) in NWT and a few other "foods" I'd rather not think about but I don't eat silkworm larva even though I know someone who does...

[Xochitl10]

I have to update my submission. Pickled salmon face cartilage is now the most unusual thing I've ever eaten.

[deangold]

probably the oddest thing I've ever had was at a sushi bar in LA's little Tokyo. We were the only non Japanese folk we EVER saw in the place and we had the delight of having Japanese folk pointing at our plates and asking the chef if they could have some of that! Two dinners stand out for this topic.

One was live sashimi. It was a type of sculpin or scorpion fish that is knifed and bled, then carved up while still moving. They take the bones with head and tail on and make a display piece out of it and then put the slices of the two fillets on it. We were instructed to take the fish slices in order from tail to neck to see how the texture changes with each slice. The head was definitely alive. The mouth opened and closed several times during the meal and the gills worked. The fish has evolved to breathe air during low tides! As soon as we were about to take the last bite of fish, the waitress hovered behind us and as soon as the final slices were mid air, scooped up the bones and ran to the kitchen where we saw the cook toss them into a pot of boiling liquid (turned out to be strong veggie broth with seaweed but no dried fish). The pot was cooked for a minute and returned to us where we got to eat the most incredible fish soup in our lives. Well worth the $140 price tag before sake.

The other meal was one of the culinary highlights of my life. We were seated next to two Japanese men, one very old and very drunk when we came in. The younger one saw what we were ordering and said we had made some good choices. He then ordered some things for us which were incredible: a plate of 5 kinds of toro, a special cut of yellow tail, a marinated fish that was incredible etc. He also explained that he was here with his boss from Japan and that good manners dictated that he say drinking with him until the elder man either called it a night or passed out, whereupon he would have to take him back to his room. He explained to us that he would rather be home "making babies" with his girlfriend.

The night was taking on a surreal quality as the food got better and better and stranger. Abalone liver which has the taste of the most incredible oyster ever and the texture of a steel belted radial. Then came jars of stuff from under the sushi counter. One was a type of seaweed: mozuku which was slimy strands of fine seaweed in an incredible marinade the texture of mucus. Other nameless stuff was served to us in tiny portions in exquisite dishes that I had only seen as display pieces before. Several type of roe, cooked and not. Several types of mucusy substances of origin known not to me (and for which no one at the bar, who were all amused at my plight, could translate).

The older man had by now passed out but my new friend was taking me under his wing and wasn't about to leave! Kay had by now dropped out of the festivities because (a) each dish was accompanied by a new cold sake to complement and someone had to be sober enough to get us home, ( the food was too weird for her, © everything he was giving me was "good for my vigor" and "good for making babies". Finally he asked the sushi chef for something and the chef's eyes got large and he stared at me with a very odd look. The man, whose name I never found out, asked again and the sushi chef shook his head in a sorrowful way and bent down and took out a jar with what looked like very white linguine in a very brown sauce. I figured out (correctly and oh so not correctly all at once) that is was giant squid noodle cut and marinated in miso. Yet it was. But it was the marination process that I had not quite got right. It was packed in the jar and left on the roof of the building in downtown LA, smog capitol of the world, and left to ferment. For 6 months. Unrefrigerated. He told me that the long strands would make me "long too". I wasn't so desperate for the additional equipment package but I now realized that if I refused this one, I would lose all face at this restaurant and could never show up there again. So I followed his lead and took the "noodle" and dropped it into my mouth. He chewed his with obvious relish and swoon not seen since the last time I watched Graham Green, the Galloping Gourmet. I took one chew and began to figure out how to either projectile vomit it out of my mouth in a way that would kill everyone in the bar or swallow it whole. I finally chose the latter and, in one of the greatest feats of fortitude of my life, swallowed it.

How to describe the taste? First off imagine taking a tablespoon of Coleman's powdered mustard and sloshing it around your mouth. Then add some baby poop. From a baby with a very smelly and poorly functioning digestive track. Then add the aroma of a tire that has blown out on the freeway after driving on it for hours. Then add the essence added by LA's smog. Got it? Well it was worse than that. Infinitely worse. So much worse that my eyes tear up at the memory typing these word brings back. But I swallowed and everyone at the bar smiled at me with congratulatory looks on their faces. The best part? My friend picked up our entire tab which I later found out was about $500 for my specials alone! Who knew baby poop cost so much?!?!?