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Cala, Expensive Mexican on Fells Street in Hayes Valley


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Cala (149 Fell Street (Van Ness Avenue) in Hayes Valley) has the worst service at any restaurant I've ever been to, and that is saying something. San Francisco has a wealth of good establishments (despite my feelings (mostly because we've been eating at the wrong places)). After today's experience, strike this one off the list and here is why:

* We were ignored for 15 minutes after being seated while FOH staff attended to two large parties in front of us who were seated at the same time we were;
* Staff described the menu to the aforementioned parties, we received only grudging, perfunctory treatment;
* The pickled vegetables that you see in the picture below were just laid down in front of us with no explanation whatsoever. Just as the server was about to walk away, B flagged her down and asked for a description;
* A minute after receiving the vegetables - which function as an amuse-bouche, a waiter arrived with drinks for the five and six-tops in front of us. He managed to smash one large goblet - somehow - while setting down the drinks, and in the process, accidentally doused B's clothes with alcohol. Shards of glass all over the carpet. No apologies whatsoever.

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After that incident, they didn't automatically reseat us; when we asked to be reseated, the waiter glared at us as if our request was out of the question, then relented.
* Most of the food is "meh". That's a pity because the menu reads well. At heart, it's overpriced Mexican food and there are much better elsewhere with a fraction of the preciousness.
* We ordered dessert. After handing us dessert spoons, they also laid down the check in front of us even though dessert was on the bill but BEFORE we had gotten them. Confronted with this faux pas, staff justified that by saying he thought I had asked for the "receipt". Also, I ordered mint tea which I never received. They comped the desserts...small comfort.

Stay away from here. You'll thank me later.

Oh, you want to see pictures of the food.  

Ok...

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Left: apple-ginger mocktini with hisbiscus agua fresca.
Right: Hisbiscus agua fresca.

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Dungeness crab tostada, celery root, habanero.

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Abalone tostadas, trout roe, purple daikon.

These were "fine". They're basically corn chips with stuff on top. Sorry to sound harsh but you might say that the evening was already tainted.

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Camaronillas with bay shrimp and carnitas.

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Sopes playeros with black beans, crema and ricotta salata.

If you like thick corn cakes with no flavor and almost flavorless beans, these fit the bill.

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Tamal with pork and achiote.

Probably the best thing we ate all evening. The tamal was steamed inside a banana leaf.

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Opah salpicón with puntarella and cilantro, served with warm tortillas.

Basically a do-it-yourself fish taco. Second best thing we ate tonight.

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Printing your dessert menu on dark blue paper is a great idea if you like your guests using pocket flashlights just to read them.

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Buñelo with apples and ricotta. My mom-in-law loved it.

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Flan de cajeta.

Rich and intense. Perfect, actually.

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Blood orange sorbet.

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8 hours ago, TrelayneNYC said:

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My goodness, what an experience, and you neglected to mention that their wine list is overpriced to the point of fury (three-times what you'd pay at full retail, without any entry point that I can find - this is a seriously hostile, and I would even say "predatory," wine list (the quality and breadth reflects a degree of knowledge, the wines are "innocent-looking" being priced in the two-digits, and I can't find a single typo). Even that one, sub-$50 Txakolina that draws everyone's attention should have cost the restaurant around $11 a bottle).

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There are several rave-reviews online, and every one I saw by a professional is from within six months after opening. This may be a perfect example of the internet having displaced the usefulness of "one-and-done" reviews by newspapers, and more importantly, the notion of "Review Season" (those first few months after a restaurant opens, when chefs put on a full-court press, newspaper journalists write their raves, restaurants plaster them all over the place, and then things slowly go to hell in a handbasket - for better or for worse, we're on a 24-hour news cycle now). Unlike, for example, films and art, restaurants are so dynamic that they must be examined almost constantly, and it's physically impossible for a single individual - no matter how good they are - to do anything more  than take a snapshot of a moment in time. Steven Shaw, merc though he may have been, made this same argument, but he was ten years too early, and was ignored by the system - I'm probably too early as well, but one day, some uppity, caustic (I don't like being caustic) DR 2.0 will emerge and foster change - that does not diminish the accomplishments of restaurant critics in times past and present, any more then Steph Curry's 3-pointer usurps the importance of a Julius Erving windmill.

This restaurant looks a little too precious for what they're charging - even the website has an arrogant feel to it. I have no doubt that Gabriela Camara is a fine, fine chef and an amazing cook - but is she even located in the United States now?

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4 hours ago, TrelayneNYC said:

Cala (149 Fell Street (Van Ness Avenue) in Hayes Valley) has the worst service at any restaurant I've ever been to, and that is saying something. 

Oh my oh my oh my.  This was great reading.  And of course your expert photography enhanced the post.

Reading through this was like watching the embarrassing moments in reality TV.   Entertaining to those that didn’t experience the miserable service.

Thanks for sharing is too trite with regard to the above post.  I’d say better luck on your next evening out and hopefully you will share a more enjoyable evening

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