The Perils of Ordering Carryout on the Phone

[DonRocks]

I'm not sure what to title this thread; I am sure it doesn't belong in the Gom Ba Woo thread.

On 10/19/2005 at 8:19 PM, DonRocks said:

The following is a transcript of a recent phone call to Gom Ba Woo:

ring ring ring!

<woman answers phone>

"hb jgsgq mwngjo bcv a nnbnbpbgm pp a ghhao hgaa"

<speaking slowly and clearly...>

"Hi, I'd like to make a carryout order, please."

<several seconds of silence>

"j;sljn;lan;ln ;l a;ln ;lnb;a b;a s;dbfgn; abn a;sehb;gha;sdflgkn;alsk Korean restuarnt"

<a last-ditch effort...>

"kimchi jae-yuk bokkum"

"Ah!! Okay! Thank you!"

"Thank you! Bye!"

"Bye!"

Yesterday was "Double Carryout Day" in DR Land, and I went 0-2 in order errors due to language barriers - both were drawn-out phone calls, with my having taken extreme caution to repeat the order several times, and speak slowly and clearly, to no avail.

District Dumplings, South Arlington

I ordered 16 Pork and Celery Dumplings, 8 steamed, and 8 fried.

I got 15 dumplings - 8 Pork and Celery steamed, and 7 Pork and Shrimp, fried.

Wiseguy Pizza, Rosslyn

I ordered a Large Pizza with Extra Cheese and Sausage.

I got a large pizza with extra cheese and extra sauce.

I'm not sure I've ever had two phone orders in a single day, at two different restaurants, with both orders wrong. Oh, well!

[MsDiPesto]

You've probably read this exchange:

Room Service:	"Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Guest:	"Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"
Room Service:	"Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny!  Djewish to odor sunteen??"
Guest:	"Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
Room Service:	"Ow July den?"
Guest:	"What??"
Room Service:	"Ow July den?...pry,boy, pooch?"
Guest:	"Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
Room Service:	"Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
Guest:	"Crisp will be fine."
Room Service:	"Hokay. An San toes?"
Guest:	"What???"
Room Service:	"San toes. July San toes?"
Guest:	"Uhh... I don't think so"
Room Service:	"No? Judo one toes??"
Guest:	"I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."
Room Service:	"Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
Guest:	"Oh, English muffin!!  I've got it!  You were saying 'Toast.'  Fine."  Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
Room Service:	"We bother?"
Guest:	"No.  Just put the bother on the side."
Room Service:	"Wad?"
Guest:	"I mean butter...just put it on the side."
Room Service:	"Copy?"
Guest:	"Sorry???"
Room Service:	"Copy...tea...mill?"
Guest:	"Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
Room Service:	"One Minnie.  Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"
Guest:	"Whatever you say."
Room Service:	"Tendjewberrymud."
Guest:	"You're welcome."

[DonRocks]

That was great - I couldn't figure out "Ass ruin torino fee" (although I'm still not sure it's 23; it could be 303, 703, 1003, 1203, etc.) and apparently I wasn't the only one.

Anyway, it happened to me *again* - this time with Full Kee in Bailey's Crossroads. "Seafood in XO Sauce" turned into "Seafood in Some Sort of White Sauce" (priced about 8-dollars less), and all I got was about 5 disgusting pieces of frozen, rubbery, white-meat squid, and 2-3 crummy little frozen, soggy scallops - the rest was rice, broccoli, carrots, and the worst baby corn I've ever eaten. 75% of the dish went straight down the disposal - this was the type of food that you eat just until the point where you're no longer starving, and then stop.

This was the worst food I'd ever had from Full Kee (which is saying something, because the place is wildly inconsistent), and on top of that, the tilapia and lobster tanks were pretty cloudy - not the cloudiest I've ever seen by a long shot, but still unacceptably so. Not even considering the miscommunication (which was more amusing than annoying), the food was bad enough where I downgraded Full Kee in the Dining Guide.