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So here I am flipping channels on the cable box when I accidentally wander into the broadcast network zone, and hear a familiar noise on Fox. That gravelly, husky sound. The perky attitude. Yes, it's Rachael Ray, and her show. (Tells you how often I watch broadcast...last time I checked, she was still on Food Network.)

I stare, transfixed in horror. What have you done with the original, cute, harmless Rachael Ray, talking alone to the camera? Or travelling to distant cities, inappropriately moaning over a bargain dessert?

In her place there is the new RR. Her makeup and wardrobe assistants have decided that with her new look she should channel Sally Field circa 1976. There is an audience. Routinely, the camera switches to a reaction shot of their strangely synchronous applause. I think they're on loan from the Emeril show, but they must have eaten earlier - no lip-smacking going on. Rachael is cheerfully extolling the virtues of lemons. She zests one vigorously over some rice. She grips another and shows the audience her special squeeze - cut-side-up, so the juice runs down the rind and drips off the perky pointy end.

I step into the kitchen for a spot of breakfast. That's when hell, previously wearing a Joker-like rictus and chained to a four-burner stove, breaks loose.

From the other room, I can hear the TV. A mother is complaining about her daughter's suggestive wardrobe. The daughter giggles that her mom is old and wears '80s clothing. A voice asks the mom who is buying her income-less adolescent these clothes. That voice. A cloud of dread forms as I realize...the show hasn't changed. It's RR solving domestic disputes a la Rikki Lake. Or maybe Jerry Springer, or whoever it is that does that kind of thing. I change the channel quickly and find a Ken Burns documentary to clear my mind.

But the nightmare remains. "I'm Rachael Ray! On today's show, we're going to rescue an 1100 pound French chef trapped in his apartment! And I'll show you how to make a delicious cous-cous! On the Rachael Ray show!"

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So here I am flipping channels on the cable box when I accidentally wander into the broadcast network zone, and hear a familiar noise on Fox. That gravelly, husky sound. The perky attitude. Yes, it's Rachael Ray, and her show. (Tells you how often I watch broadcast...last time I checked, she was still on Food Network.)

The other day I had to buy a box of Ritz crackers (IMO the best vehicle for conveying chopped liver from the bowl to the tongue, and I had a load of chopped liver). Not only did I have to suffer the shame and indignity of paying full price since the damn things weren't on sale, but worse all the boxes on the shelf came with a large picture of RR herself on the cover, including a family-friendly section of genuine RR boobs, 8.5 teeth showing in the smile, and RR recipes on the back for something called "Ritz clubs" and "deviled ham and cheese spread."

What's more, if I buy five more boxes and throw in $4.99, I can get a copy of one of her 30-min. cookbooks.

It's going to get worse before it gets better.

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...all the boxes on the shelf came with a large picture of RR herself on the cover, including a family-friendly section of genuine RR boobs, 8.5 teeth showing in the smile, and RR recipes on the back for something called "Ritz clubs" and "deviled ham and cheese spread."

She's on Wheat Thins, too, and looks more air-brushed than the magazines I had under my bed when I was fourteen.

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Paula Deen doing late-nite comedy?
She's a shoe-in: that woman is hilarious (unintentionally)
I'm guessing that you haven't seen her new live audience show, "Paula's Party" yet. It's scary.

(and I kind of liked her cooking show)

Come to think of it, "Essence of Emeril" didn't really bug me, but "Emeril Live"? (Insert shuddering emoticon)

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but "Emeril Live"?
Y'know, I happened to watch a couple episodes of this recently. And despite the strangeness of the whole audience thing, the Fall River Faustus actually makes pretty good food most of the time. And he explains himself, not on a Mario/Alton level, but at least trying to instill a certain amount of knowledge. By Food Network standards (insert shuddering emoticon), not so bad at all.
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Y'know, I happened to watch a couple episodes of this recently. And despite the strangeness of the whole audience thing, the Fall River Faustus actually makes pretty good food most of the time.

Ah, but what about his Garry Shandling-esque turn as the hero of an eponymous sitcom? My attempts to locate clips on YouTube and Google Video have come to naught...has anybody actually seen this show?

Fall River Faustus...hyuk hyuk hyuk. Bam!

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Y'know, I happened to watch a couple episodes of this recently. And despite the strangeness of the whole audience thing, the Fall River Faustus actually makes pretty good food most of the time. And he explains himself, not on a Mario/Alton level, but at least trying to instill a certain amount of knowledge. By Food Network standards (insert shuddering emoticon), not so bad at all.

Don't forget, Emeril made executive chef at Commander's Palace in NO at the age of 24. At that age RR was still trying to figure out how to work the spray can of Pam.

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Don't forget, Emeril made executive chef at Commander's Palace in NO at the age of 24. At that age RR was still trying to figure out how to work the spray can of Pam.
Emeril may be goofy, annoying, and commercial but he has chops. Johnson & Wales grad, Commander's Palace, etc. Rachael Ray's qualifications seem to be the abilty to combine pre-sliced, pre-packaged ingredients while blathering non-stop.
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The one episode of the RR daytime talk show that I have seen had a segment of the show representing her as the Fairy Godmother to the pathetic. A couple came on to tell her their tale of woe--they had just gotten married and were on their way to their honeymoon, when theystopped at a restaurant for a bite to eat, and their truck was broken into and all of their honeymoon finery and lots of electronic gifts (ipod, video game, etc.) and their airline tickets were stolen. They were so bummed out that they didn't go on their honeymoon.All the while Rachel was patting the woman's hand and saying: "Aww, honey. Don't cry." At the end of this litany of woe, Rachel got to wave her magic wand, thanks to a variety of commercial sponsors, and bestow a panoply of goodies on the unhappy couple: a resort week, luggage, sexy wardrobe for her and electonic goodies for him. I got the sense that this was a regular feature of the show--the viewers were invited to write in with their own sad stories.

This reminded me of a popular daytime show that was on in the late 1950's, called "Queen for a Day" with Ralph Bailey. ("How would YOU like to be Queen for a Day?") Three women would go on the show and tell their tales of pathos, and the audience would vote, via applause meter for the "winner"--the most deserving tragedienne. And that woman would win furniture, a washing machine, clothing from a Chicago catalogue store, etc. It was the prototype of the American Grotesque genre. The mother of a friend of mine went on--told about coming home from school in her Polish village, to find that the Nazis had arrested her family and taken them away and she never saw them again--AND SHE DIDN'T WIN!!! I'm sure that Rachael Ray would have been much more compassionate.

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The one episode of the RR daytime talk show that I have seen had a segment of the show representing her as the Fairy Godmother to the pathetic. A couple came on to tell her their tale of woe--they had just gotten married and were on their way to their honeymoon, when theystopped at a restaurant for a bite to eat, and their truck was broken into and all of their honeymoon finery and lots of electronic gifts (ipod, video game, etc.) and their airline tickets were stolen. They were so bummed out that they didn't go on their honeymoon.All the while Rachel was patting the woman's hand and saying: "Aww, honey. Don't cry." At the end of this litany of woe, Rachel got to wave her magic wand, thanks to a variety of commercial sponsors, and bestow a panoply of goodies on the unhappy couple: a resort week, luggage, sexy wardrobe for her and electonic goodies for him. I got the sense that this was a regular feature of the show--the viewers were invited to write in with their own sad stories.

This reminded me of a popular daytime show that was on in the late 1950's, called "Queen for a Day" with Ralph Bailey. ("How would YOU like to be Queen for a Day?") Three women would go on the show and tell their tales of pathos, and the audience would vote, via applause meter for the "winner"--the most deserving tragedienne. And that woman would win furniture, a washing machine, clothing from a Chicago catalogue store, etc. It was the prototype of the American Grotesque genre. The mother of a friend of mine went on--told about coming home from school in her Polish village, to find that the Nazis had arrested her family and taken them away and she never saw them again--AND SHE DIDN'T WIN!!! I'm sure that Rachael Ray would have been much more compassionate.

That is so tacky on so many levels it's hard to know where to start.

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That is so tacky on so many levels it's hard to know where to start.
I remember this SO well. I was just a little kid when my parents bought our first TV (it was an extremely heavy Admiral, if you must know. Dame Edna and I now have a flat screen Sylvania that I can lift with one hand [!]) I remember watching the very first episode of the "Mickey Mouse Club" with Annette Funicello, etc. "Queen for a Day" particularly had an impression on me because I was too young to really understand any of it. I just empathized with everybody. The idea of pitting one person's woes with another's wasn't something I could actually grasp at that age. Jeebus.
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Rachael Ray is on my list of Five Celebrities I'm Allowed to Sleep With.

On my desk at work I have a picture of me with my wife, and a picture of me with Rachael.

When I have a bad day at work, or am feeling ill, Rachael's happy, cheery demeanor always makes me feel better.

I would, as my father says, drink a tub of her bathwater.

Clearly, the gods as well are on my side.

Funny bit on Good Eats... the camera cuts back to Alton from commercial as he's holding a glass beaker full of some liquid. "Soon I'll be as perky as Rachael!"

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Emeril may be goofy, annoying, and commercial but he has chops. Johnson & Wales grad, Commander's Palace, etc. Rachael Ray's qualifications seem to be the abilty to combine pre-sliced, pre-packaged ingredients while blathering non-stop.
Ooh! Ooh! You want an annoying bimbo who combines pre-sliced, pre-packaged ingredients while blathering non-stop?? How about that Sandra Lee dingdong of "Semi-Homemade Food" fame. Oh, lord...I have thrown things at the TV when she comes on. It's a tenth of a step removed from slathering cream of mushroom soup on a chicken breast and calling it dinner.
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If any of you were offered millions to do a show like this, I bet you would do it. Besides, I like Rachel Ray, she looks like she really eats, unlike that big head Italian girl! :unsure:
Really? I've never looked that high up on Giada. That girl shows more cleavage than a Russ Meyer movie. Not that I'm complaining, mind you (pass the kleenex). :lol:
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Really? I've never looked that high up on Giada. That girl shows more cleavage than a Russ Meyer movie. Not that I'm complaining, mind you (pass the kleenex). :lol:

LOL, this a true. I often complain about here big head when my wife is watching this show, as to distract from the fact that I am watching her cleavage.

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LOL, this a true. I often complain about here big head when my wife is watching this show, as to distract from the fact that I am watching her cleavage.

Point out her crazy forced smile, too. I think her teef are bigger than her head. Besides, it'll pad a few months on to your wife catching on to what you're really looking at.

You might want to hide watching Nigella from her.

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Just as I had to watch Morton Downey Jr., just as I had to watch Jerry Springer, I simply have to watch this show, at least once. Tomorrow: "TV personality Montel Williams prepares his signature green health-drink; a psychic medium feels spirits in the studio." Sounds sort of like the Mike Douglas show. Is she gonna sing?

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Point out her crazy forced smile, too. I think her teef are bigger than her head. Besides, it'll pad a few months on to your wife catching on to what you're really looking at.

You might want to hide watching Nigella from her.

Nigella....oh my!! She almost makes up for centuries of bad cooking.

It really is sad that I'm participating more actively in this thread than just about any other...

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this is how i deal with my hatred of this awful woman who should never ever be allowed to be called a chef: http://www.slobak.com/rachaelray.html

Who calls her a chef? She certainly doesn't claim to be one. She has gotten to be more and more annoying as the seasons of her cooking show have gone on. She had some good ideas in the first season, but I really cannot believe that she would get so successful so as to have her own talk show.

And Dan -- One of top five celebrities that you get to sleep with?! :lol: Tell me you are at least hard of hearing. :unsure:

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Point out her crazy forced smile, too. I think her teef are bigger than her head.

It's the talking-out-of-the-side-of-her-mouth thing that gets me. She could be the world's greatest ventriloquist, but only when viewed in profile.

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Ooh! Ooh! You want an annoying bimbo who combines pre-sliced, pre-packaged ingredients while blathering non-stop?? How about that Sandra Lee dingdong of "Semi-Homemade Food" fame. Oh, lord...I have thrown things at the TV when she comes on. It's a tenth of a step removed from slathering cream of mushroom soup on a chicken breast and calling it dinner.

She's the daughter of Sara Lee, right? :lol:

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I can understand why a gourmand or a chef or someone with very discriminating tastes would object to some upstart coming on the telly and representing herself as the second coming of Palladin.

Rachael Ray has said, repeatedly, that she is not a chef. She has represented herself as "one of you, the viewers," who learned to cook from her mom, and from friends, and has never attended some fancy-shmancy culinary school. She is continually awed by her more talented Food Network costars.

Is it wrong that she has taught millions of people, who otherwise might eat takeout every night, how to cook? And genuinely cook - she's not showing us how to make microwave dinners. It's not like she's on air botching some artsy pastry that her viewers would never make in a million years. She's teaching people how to cook. I'm sorry that it's not petite fours or vichysoisse, or slow cooked whatever that requires a PhD in charcoal control to make. She is doing a great service to people who don't happen to be foodies but whose lives could be enriched with a simple home cooked meal.

I don't get why people hate her so much or are so offended by her. If she annoys you because she's so perky (god forbid there should be one less whiny, miserable person in the world), or because she repeats herself (it's television... people might be tuning in to her show for the first time), or because she's talks out of the side of her mouth (so does Mohammed Ali, but no one's making fun of HIM for it), that's fine. Everyone gets annoyed by personality quirks. But do NOT hate her because of what she's doing. It's not like if she were off the air that everyone would be tuning into some fancy French chef and we'd suddenly have a nation full of Robuchons.

I happen to LOVE the food that some may call snobby, pretentious, or (in my wife's words) "uppity." All the stuff Rachael DOESN'T make. Truffle me crazy! I ALSO happen to love my wife's cooking, which is delicious, and fantastic, and filling, and homey, and warm, and doesn't have a single piece of delicious foie gras in it. She would NOT be cooking if it weren't for Rachael Ray.

So someone, please, explain to me why they object to her?

I have made every effort not to single out and insult any individual or the general community of Rachael-haters. I would appreciate replies in kind.

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Rachael Ray is on my list of Five Celebrities I'm Allowed to Sleep With.
I hope you're list is laminated.

I caught the RR show for the first time yesterday. I was on the elliptical at the gym flipping channels and there she is making tuna burgers nicoise with an olive tapenade spread and sushi-grade tuna, using a ton of oil I might add. The recipe looked interesting, something I might make at home. Until she said, "This tuna tastes exactly like the stuff you get out of a can, but better." I think I flinched.

Really, what is going on with that audience? They sat there, clapping inappropriately for things like pepper (um, what?). Thank god I'm not at home right now, or else I could be watching a medium tell a woman that her dead mother is happy that she is happy on RR..

I have no problem with RR's food, although I would probably cut the fat in a lot of her recipes. They are quick and easy and accessible. I wonder how many people will go looking for sushi-grade tuna at the store this week. For introducing quality ingredients to the general public, I have to applaud her. For being annoying, well, let's just say I wish she'd stick with the print medium.

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