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The List of DC Area Restaurants


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Yuck's
Shitronelle
Mice-tro
Gali-layoff
Stinkead's
Pa-Lame-a
Farce sells
Cashion's Rat House
DC Coasting
Trite-inya
Blecchquinox
Gerard's Empty Place
Ill at Little Washington
PigPenh
2941 Reasons to stay home
Drecktar
Yawnyu
Tired Fry
Grime Rib
Cafe Mylantico
Toss-ca
New Depths
Barf All Day-o
Teatro Golddigger
IgNora
David's Piggery
The Napalm
Colvin: Run from this Tavern
Chef seeks new Poste
Gnarleston
Sushi-Blo
Blowbelisk
Blowla
Ben's Insect Bowl
Minibarf
Pizzeria Parody
Praying (you don't get sick at) Mantis
Succhus
C. F. Sucks
Snore-duroy
Taberna del Alabarfdero
Eat Worst
Harry's Crap RoomToo
Amiss
Dirty Dish
Mie N Yu are about to have a really, really bad meal
Addis A-Blah-ba
Al Terrible-misu
Blewna
A.V. Ristorante and Pest Control
Bistro Grease
Bistro j'Oc
Beast-Roe Francais
Inbred Line
My Failure
Cafe Swill-ano
Strepto-Caucus Room
Colorado Bitchin'
Crisp & Greasy
Cuban Coroner
86
Four & Twenty Crackheads
Four Sisters related to a food critic
Johnny's Half Shell; the rat carried away the other half
Kaz Blewshi Bistro
Sushi Terrible-o
La Fourshitte
Le Mannequin Pis; le restaurant aussi
Crotchbox
Fleaism
Melrose, then sank
Meiwah: Chinese for larva
Puke Quail
Natty Thai
Mess-scare-em
The Awful Room
Crocku
Raze The Steaks
Under 17, Over 89, no one else will like it
ShittyDen
Scare-a-you
Inde Red
diAria Trot-teria
Cafe Blowz yu
Ocean Err
Setae Osteria (look it up)
Vermin, Million
Injure Beef
Petits Rats
Red Dong Cafe
The Frying Snotsman
We Ricchi, You Sicchi
Ta Blew la
Jack Me's
Grossa Messy Cano
Rosie Palmer
Circle Be Slow
Catatonic
Sell-The Cafe (Please!)
Scandal Lay
Bend Over, See No Girl
Black's Fault
Oy, a meltdown
Restaurant Heave
21P(eople) served daily
Skank's Zoster Bar
CarSonoma
Mercrotcho
Lay a Pole Kinda Whorey
Sleazetique
Blew Gin
Clod
Crockeria Blow Bono
Dino Evil
Mickey in Orlando
Know We Be Raunchy
Stay At Old Home Instead
Restaurant Ho-Humbia
Butterfield: Nein!
Bobby Van's Mistake House
(Phantom Of The) Opera
Fuss, Goys and Mullets
Will Owe
Ta-Hell-and-Baq Bistro
Stinx
Investors to get Cremed
Barf Pilar
Out-grossed Dino
Frown Hall
Ooze and Blahs
A Shady Con, uh...
Capital Singe
Open and Shitty
FakeLove
Worth Pityin'
Oya? O no.
Debt-te Sell-o
Jip
Unlucky Streak
Appalling No-show's Asian Bistro
Raw Cecum
Mocha Slut
The Embarrassed Godmother
Vaginate
Depression Burger
Goodbye Dahlia
Burr bin
Faux Gaudy Show or Forego The Chow (take your pick)
Zen Gonad, aka "Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi ... & Not Yu"
Grosstico
Bimbo Spills
Lemona
Diarrhea Paradiso
100 King-Sized Roaches
Night Gallery
"Aphid David" Cur-Egg
Out-We-Go Laughing
Szechuan B... never mind
Brined Chigger
Indie Kites
A Waste of Carolina
Spasms on Church
Con-Agraria
PisS-7
Ray's Jurassics
Ass Steal
Will Fracture Soon
Le ZeroEtoiles
Sucki Crappo Fuckaducki
U R banal
Liar's
Was A Bi
Eamonn's: a British-Themed Jockey's Whipper
Pee seX
Black's Barn-Kitsch Inn
Gip Me On K Street
Geoduck Tavern
I'd Rather Eat A Cat, Mandu
BLT (Bland, Lifeless, Tough) Steak
Buzz Off
Doc Watson
Dead Sage
King-Kong Vomit
Johnny's Half-Assed Sell-Out
Fare to Bolivia for Morou (I'll pay for it!)
Shoney's
Flee-bo Creditorria aka Chapter 12
Nappy Hole
Ill Melina
Oyamoops I Did It Again
M'Scam Oat Dogs
Axe This Bar and Grill
Urea's Peeza
DefeatBar
Eleventh Incomplete Scrounge
P.O.Sh
Jack Peppers Le Pigalle
Sans Toi, Michel Richard
Me Owe
Cafe Dupe Irk
Hooker
Overwooded Grill
Cafe Pete Saiolo
Taqueria Nasty Tamale
Vapi(d)ano's
Serve A 'Tude Tavern
Cafe Owe In Hock-a
The Jest
Was Sobby Sea Toe
Conasserie Wreck
So Bore Us
Jordan's: Hate.
Veri Tossed Off
SwatGroin
La Pro Mess
Circus
Restaurant K(olumbia) by Malice and Swipe
Banal Chain Chicken
Granny Moos
Pet Zee Ape
Indy in the Ocean
Broke Condom
Heave-o Bistro
Crock Reek
Dad's Backyard Boogers
Joke's Gourmet Boogers
American Flatline
Me Jana, You Tarzan
Locus Delicti
Cafe Ate (then Barfed)
Station 9 from Outer Space
Restaurant Fired 3 Naming Consultants
[stop With The Numbers Already]
ACK: The Cocoa Calorie
Chicks "With A Conscience"
Starvin
Queen Muck-It-Up
Mr. Hanky's "Number Two" Oyster Bar
Need Karo
Crumble Pork Tavern
The Empty Space
The Sores by Gangbang Fuck
Chagrinoteca
Kimpton: No Mas-o!
Deadend Bistro in need of Repair
Asi Nine
Sunny Bice
Monterey Waifish Blotto
Cafe Trop Pay
Fontaine Cafe and Crapperie
Ici ... But Not For Long
Jacksoff 20
Bobby's Crabs Ache
U Blah Bistro
Pee Poo Scrounge
Chix Gone Mild
Georgetown Dry Cake
Chatman's Benign Fakery
Ma Zoo
Palm a Granite Beast
Corked
Bleak Squirrel
Chicks n' Wangs
Bursitis Joint
Lost Sandoval
No Knowledge, Gee: Wine Bar
Old Hick Re: Steakhouse
Pay-Our-Green Espresso (sorry)
Fievel
Manic Cure
Co Co Cabana
Cheek Tease Wine Bar
See Shut Crab House
PR Gall
Bred Scrota
Bo Degas
Pizza! Pizza!
Stinky Lice
Darling Tin House
Dumb Minion Restaurant
A Soggy Mozzarella Bar
Zzzzz Burger and Sandman
Tangy Teat
Only A Dog Wood Go To This Tavern
Hackle Pox
Beau Cottage A Lot Owes
Desperate Jamie
Or Rope Poem Mode Door Roe
Court A Goy
Come And Wilt
Floundering Farmers
Bad Hat Eatery
Tom Is Hairy
Ray's The Steaks 3
Nando's Scary-Scary
Jackson's Mighty-Swine Food
Taverna Sketchy
Bolt
Deadwood
Fart and Soil
Goodbye, Cupcake
Wider Bellies
See Hurl
Lavender Moon Upchuckery
Spray Voila
Surf Died
Missed Her Yoga Toe
The Wandering Gonad
AD: Whore
Yak Coup
Pi = 3.14 = Predicted Lifespan of Restaurant
Him Lay In Hair, It Itch
Terrible Temple
Wiz Dumb
Chick Kin Loco
Gibson: 17 Strikeouts in One Night
Non-Ink Kabob
Sperm Erode
Crap and Whine
Level One Investor (or however many they have)
Err, owe ma
Lousiana Kitsch in a Bayou Bar
Shock d'India
Four Cysts
1905: Ayn Rand's Birth Year
Jock He-Club
Kabob Atrocious
Botch-y
Mow Me ... Gee!
Confusion
Hank's The Steaks
Edgar Allan Posto
Urban Mistake
Kitsch Hen
Barf-a Tomato Kabob
Flop In Pizza
Forepart Hominy
Purina Cat Chow ... Cha Cha Cha!
See Ya, Roc
Ben’s Next Porsche
Leave n’ Hide
Brabvo! You managed to fuck everything up!
Bled and Blew
Leave The Nest Cafe
Unsound Policy
Cafe Ass Sort, He
G-SPOT aka Da General's Sto (click)
It’ll Be Pizza (Maybe One Day)
Double Xing
No Sei
Present: No Future
Brabo Plagiarizing Room
69NE1 aka Twin Cox
Seed Her
Eatin' Vile
Sue, Shit-Hairy Roe
Retire and Age
Potent Influenza
Xen-Tan (Google it)
Pete's uh-oh Testicle
The Pits Stop
Fiasco's
Soul Broke Today, Gee
Paint Me' Shell Bakery
Piss-And-Go Gelato
Faux Joke Brothers
H Street Country Bumpkins
Pho For Teens
Smelly Unknowns
Frat-Hell y la Buffoon
Blew (Former Pennsylvania Governor Tom) Ridge

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The Carcass Room

Me-ran

Dreadline

In the interest of a wider discourse and in light of the fact that I just can't come up with anything good right now, I propose we open it up to anagrams:

Citronelle -> Erotic Nell

Maestro -> Some rat

Ray's the Steaks - > Skeet ashtrays, Shy skat eaters

Cashion's Eat Place -> A pleasant choice(s)

Cafe Atlantico -> 'Cafe' Ain't Octal*

Oceanaire -> iee! An orca!

Bistrot du Coin -> Turbot in disco

Kinkead's -> Ski Naked

Nectar -> trance, recant

Black Salt -> Back stall

Sette Osteria -> Easiest otter

The Brickskeller -> Beer, Sketch, Krill

That'll do for a start. I dorked out of a lot of good ones (hehe, try "Laboratorio Galileo")

*It is, however, hexadecimal; 51966 decimal

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You forgot:

Oya(nother overpriced hipster zoo in Penn Quarter, just what we need.)

The Ugly Mug (that's always empty because it's impossible to get any goddamn service.)

Mie serving slop N Yu too fucking busy preening to notice, morons.

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Winter additions:

Capital Singe
Open and Shitty
FakeLove
Worth Pityin'
Oya? O no.
Debt-te Sell-o
Jip
Unlucky Streak
Appalling No-show's Asian Bistro
Raw Cecum
Mocha Slut
The Embarrassed Godmother
Vaginate
Depression Burger
Goodbye Dahlia
Burr bin
Faux Gaudy Show or Forego The Chow (take your pick)

And last but not least:

Zen Gonad, aka "Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi ... & Not Yu"

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DonRocks said:
Autumn additions:

Fuss, Goys and Mullets

Will Owe

Ta-Hell-and-Baq Bistro

Stinx

Investors to get Cremed

Barf Pilar

Out-grossed Dino

Frown Hall

Ooze and Blahs

And last but not least:

A Shady Con, uh...

Ristorante Cost-a(bundle)

Capital Still

100 Lebanese

Return to Sender

Bilbo Bag It!

La Parachute

The Cheapskate Factory

Rats the Steaks

Cafe Putano

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Winter additions:

I'd Rather Eat A Cat, Mandu
BLT (Bland, Lifeless, Tough) Steak
Buzz Off
Doc Watson
Dead Sage
King-Kong Vomit
Johnny's Half-Assed Sell-Out
Fare to Bolivia for Morou (I'll pay for it!)
Shoney's

And last but not least (and yes, I'll surely burn in Hell for this one):

Flee-bo Creditorria aka Chapter 12

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Autumn additions:

So Bore Us
Jordan's: Hate.
Veri Tossed Off
SwatGroin
La Pro Mess
Circus
Restaurant K(olumbia) by Malice and Swipe
Banal Chain Chicken
Granny Moos
Pet Zee Ape
Indy in the Ocean
Broke Condom
Heave-o Bistro
Crock Reek
Dad's Backyard Boogers
Joke's Gourmet Boogers
American Flatline
Me Jana, You Tarzan
And last but not least:

Locus Delicti

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