Tom Sietsema's Reviews

[dmwine]

Flossy would mean stringy. Maybe there are cooked greens meant to be stringy, but I'm not registering what they might be.

My Webster's defines flossy as "downy, light, fluffy," so I think he's OK there. "Deems," ... no.

[Pat]

My Webster's defines flossy as "downy, light, fluffy," so I think he's OK there. "Deems," ... no.

I found "downy" in one dictionary I looked at, and "fluffy fibrous material" in another, but that really doesn't seem a very standard word usage. He's running out of adjectives. If people can't figure out from reading the text what he means, it's not too effective.

And "deems" is just wrong. It might have been intended as "deems it time to rescue me," and a couple of words got dropped in the editing process.

[Waitman]

Is he talking about food?

Men tend to play with their food, often erecting fortresses and skyscrapers from their ingredients. Women, on the other hand, tend to edit themselves better.

[Mark Slater]

Look it up in the Flesaurus.

[chickenlover]

"Sable goes down like satin."

Um, yeah...

[Tujague]

"Sable goes down like satin."

Um, yeah...

Hey, I read that line last night in John Updike's little-known but classic novel, Sable and Satin: The Absolutely True Tales of the Twin Transvestite Hookers (Except it ended, "Ummmmmmm....yeahhhhh....ummmm....oh baby.")

[Waitman]

"Sable goes down like satin."

Um, yeah...

Now yer gettin' picky. Perfectly good line.

[Waitman]

In contrast to recent practice, Sietsema gives Comet Ping Pong nine months to get its shit to gether. Verdict?

Comet has its shit together: 2.5 stars.

Wonder how many stars Hook, Beck, Central or the new Johnny's would get if they had nine months to get their acts together and/or for the hype to wear off?

[Heather]

I wonder too...wasn't he not going to review it since the menu was so limited? Or was that Kliman?

[TedE]

In contrast to recent practice, Sietsema gives Comet Ping Pong nine months to get its shit to gether. Verdict?

Comet has its shit together: 2.5 stars.

Wonder how many stars Hook, Beck, Central or the new Johnny's would get if they had nine months to get their acts together and/or for the hype to wear off?

It was the first thing that struck me about the review, especially with him all but saying outright that he allowed them to settle in before running a review. At the very least this will give more ammo to the "Tom has it in the bag for X and Y!" conspiracy theorists that pop up in his chats. It seems he's already seen as a Greenwood apologist anyway, so this won't help.

[Tujague]

Or maybe we've just gotten so spoiled in expecting a review six weeks after a restaurant's opening that when that doesn't happen, suspicions about fairness arise. He didn't review Le Paradou for about six months after it opened a few years ago but I don't remember any outcry about that. Cafe du Parc opened before Central or Beck, but has yet to be covered with a full review. Some places where one might expect a review never get a mention at all. In the end, it's his call when a place is ready to review. My biggest beef with it is that it's simply one of the least substantive, food-wise, of any review he's done in a long time. I don't think it deserved a full column, but should have been combined with some other places with limited menus, like Taqueria Nationale.

[The Hersch]

Or maybe we've just gotten so spoiled in expecting a review six weeks after a restaurant's opening that when that doesn't happen, suspicions about fairness arise.

I think most folks around here don't want a review six weeks after an opening.

Cafe du Parc opened before Central or Beck, but has yet to be covered with a full review.

Actually, Central opened in January. Café du Parc opened in early April, with Beck following in late April. I think.

[Tujague]

Actually, Central opened in January. Café du Parc opened in early April, with Beck following in late April. I think.

Oops, you're right, sorry about that. My bad.

[jdl]

From the Association of Food Journalists 2007 Awards Competition...

BEST NEWSPAPER RESTAURANT CRITICISM

SECOND: Tom Sietsema, The Washington Post

(First was Gail Shepherd of New Times Broward/Palm Beach.)

Full list of winners here.

[monavano]

Congrats Tom!

[synaesthesia]

Looks like Tom stole from KeithA

"The crust on the pizzas could pass for fused saltines"

Circa review

[lackadaisi]

Did the DC area run out of restaurants to review?

This week's "review" seems rather odd as it only mentions the new Korean stand, and doesn't both to mention whether the food is good.

[Tujague]

Did the DC area run out of restaurants to review?

This week's "review" seems rather odd as it only mentions the new Korean stand, and doesn't both to mention whether the food is good.

Well, this was the Post Magazine's "Fall Travel Issue" and Tom's column seemed to fit the theme. I can't recall whether he's done travel-related pieces in past similar issues or not, but since he's not syndicated (unlike Weingarten), I think it was appropriate. And I think that there was plenty to suggest that the Korean cart is decent, not least the fact that he decided to dedicate space to it at all ("an appetizing little adventure in an unexpected place" was the overall motif, after all). I imagine he's relieved to get to do something different once in a while.

[Mark Slater]

Well, this was the Post Magazine's "Fall Travel Issue" and Tom's column seemed to fit the theme. I can't recall whether he's done travel-related pieces in past similar issues or not, but since he's not syndicated (unlike Weingarten), I think it was appropriate. And I think that there was plenty to suggest that the Korean cart is decent, not least the fact that he decided to dedicate space to it at all ("an appetizing little adventure in an unexpected place" was the overall motif, after all). I imagine he's relieved to get to do something different once in a while.

I don't eat meals at street carts, myself, but I'm curious as to how many other people who read this website and post here do.

[lackadaisi]

I don't eat meals at street carts, myself, but I'm curious as to how many other people who read this website and post here do.

I do, but I am picky about which ones. I would have greatly appreciated a review of the street cart if it actually said that it was good. I didn't get enough from it to trust that the food was decent at all; instead, I read it only as saying that it was great that the street carts weren't so limited anymore.

[Poivrot Farci]

“Soupcon on seasoning... hostess with the mostess... cloaked with a zippy tomato sauce...

asparagus in late fall? If nothing else, an Italian kitchen should cook to the tune of the season.”

Is this what passes for respected, objective food criticism?

Aside from reading as if the article were hastily generated through a Mad-Lib program, Mr. Sietsema bullies a casual Italian chain restaurant that does not advertise seasonality for serving benign asparagus year round? Hollywood handsome chefs and other established starred sweethearts can serve unseasonal produce and proteins unchallenged, however pedestrian eateries designed for the broad and many hungry get a undeserved tisk-tisk, much like the silly “easy on the carbs, please” reproach Red Rocks Pizzeria received. There are also seasons in France and the United States and pretty much every other country above and below the tropics (I looked it up). Il Fornaio boasts “authenticity”...but so does the popularly revered Olive Garden. Neither herald seasonality. The critic should have objected to the Tagliata Chianina item which surely is not Chianina cattle (USDA “choice” at the Vegas outlet).

Approachable establishments are not designed to “attract patrons looking for discernment on a plate” and should not be held to the other half's elite standards.

[baczkowski]

Is this what passes for respected, objective food criticism?

Aside from reading as if the article were hastily generated through a Mad-Lib program, Mr. Sietsema bullies a casual Italian chain restaurant that does not advertise seasonality for serving benign asparagus year round? Hollywood handsome chefs and other established starred sweethearts can serve unseasonal produce and proteins unchallenged, however pedestrian eateries designed for the broad and many hungry get a undeserved tisk-tisk, much like the silly “easy on the carbs, please” reproach Red Rocks Pizzeria received. There are also seasons in France and the United States and pretty much every other country above and below the tropics (I looked it up). Il Fornaio boasts “authenticity”...but so does the popularly revered Olive Garden. Neither herald seasonality. The critic should have objected to the Tagliata Chianina item which surely is not Chianina cattle (USDA “choice” at the Vegas outlet).

Approachable establishments are not designed to “attract patrons looking for discernment on a plate” and should not be held to the other half's elite standards.

I understand (but don't fully agree) with your criticisms of Sietsema's criticisms, but do you think he missed in his overall rating of the restaurant? It met my expectations for a chain restaurant (since I haven't been). Or would it have been better to not have reviewed the place at all?

But you are absolutely right in highlighting "hostess with the mostess" as offensively bad writing. That's a gratingly sloppy cliche for even a high school student.

Pax,

Brian

[jdl]

What, exactly, is "objective criticism"?

[Halloween]

Is this what passes for respected, objective food criticism?

Aside from reading as if the article were hastily generated through a Mad-Lib program, Mr. Sietsema bullies a casual Italian chain restaurant that does not advertise seasonality for serving benign asparagus year round? Hollywood handsome chefs and other established starred sweethearts can serve unseasonal produce and proteins unchallenged, however pedestrian eateries designed for the broad and many hungry get a undeserved tisk-tisk, much like the silly “easy on the carbs, please” reproach Red Rocks Pizzeria received. There are also seasons in France and the United States and pretty much every other country above and below the tropics (I looked it up). Il Fornaio boasts “authenticity”...but so does the popularly revered Olive Garden. Neither herald seasonality. The critic should have objected to the Tagliata Chianina item which surely is not Chianina cattle (USDA “choice” at the Vegas outlet).

Approachable establishments are not designed to “attract patrons looking for discernment on a plate” and should not be held to the other half's elite standards.

Who is that masked man known as Poivrot Farci?

[Al Dente]

Who is that masked man known as Poivrot Farci?

a mystery wrapped in prosciutto...

[Heather]

What, exactly, is "objective criticism"?

I'm going to let Waitman handle that question.

Perhaps instead of chiding chain restaurants for their lack of seasonal produce, Mr. Sietsema could spend the next few week re-reviewing a few places that he rushed to judgement on.

[Poivrot Farci]

What, exactly, is "objective criticism"?

Objective criticism/journalism is unbiased, neutral and fair. Testing and deducting on material that is not in the syllabus is not. Penmanship, like taste, however is subjective and Mr. Sietsema's palatte is not being questioned. His partisanship is. Neither Il Fornaio Reston nor the unnamed Milanese chef/partner make any mention of using seasonal products, only that the food has “been crafted in the custom of Italy's chefs, bakers and homemakers...In the tradition of Italy's trattorias, the sights, sounds and aromas of authentic Italian cuisine are recreated fresh everyday” whatever that means. Most independant restaurants motivated by passion rather than profit may not need such mission statement jingles.

Commenting on merely 10 of the 41 savory dishes offered on the accompanying website's menu after 3 visits and goofing on the restaurant for skirting the new seasonality criteria (in Wednesday's chit-chat as well) which it does not trumpet is probably a type of irresponsible Narrative Journalism. Investigating and exposing Il Fornaio employees and management as sex offenders whose grasp of authentic Italian cuisine is muted by their grasping of each others' genitals and food goods with unwashed hands is Muckraking. Criticising Il Fornaio in function and context of what it strives to deliver -casual, approachable Italian themed cuisine- to a wide swath of sloping brow cretins who slurp Pope Room sized maccheroncelli through their overbites, the best of whom might sheepishly discuss symptoms of what they believe to be gorgonzola with their free-clinic physician...thats Gonzo. Freedom to discuss it might be Citizen Journalism.

My previous allusion to the Olive Garden was unwarranted and insensitive since Il Fornaio operates 20 sites to the OG's 600+ and the former has received awards and accolades from Wine Spectator, New Yorker and other national publications. I am now very familiar with their whole operation. Still, with luck, Mr. S will not roast Denny's next week for serving “kitschy” Moons over My Hammy well into pre-theatre hours.

[jdl]

Criticism 1. the act of passing judgment as to the merits of anything.

By its very nature, isn't criticism all about the expression of opinion? And isn't opinion based on one's personal view? We all view the world through the prism of our own biases, no? Is your criticism of Tom's criticism unbiased and neutral? What is neutral criticism, anyway? Critics are supposed to take sides, to state positions. Otherwise, it's just reportage.

[brian]

There's a great interview with Il Fornaio president Mike Beatrice in this month's Pizza Today (#1 magazine of the pizza industry!) that includes the following...

Beatrice says another point that distinguishes Il Fornaio is that its menu changes seasonally to reflect nature's growing cycle. "In Italy, they cook with what's in season, and that's how we try to run our menus," he explains. "If fresh tomatoes aren't in season, you're probably not going to see them on our menu. If artichokes and eggplant are in season, you'll see them in our dishes. Certain times of year a swordfish's flavor is not as good, so we're not going to have a swordfish at that time. If you use what's in season, you get the best flavors. When we say we're fresh, we're in-season fresh. That's what the Italians do, and that's what I tell people is our difference. No one else does that."

That rule is strictly adhered to, even in the case of top-selling items. If an ingredient isn't at its yearly peak, Il Fornaio will find other dishes with which to make money. Take this example:

"We have a Caprese salad, and it's a big seller, but we don't have it on the menu all the time," says Beatrice. "Is it available, will (the chefs) make it for you? Yes, they will, but they don't really want to because the tomatoes aren't the best flavor. They don't want somebody to get a mushy tomato with no flavor. We offer you an alternative dish that is in season, and we try to be very strict with that."

I think it's also fair to note that the awards received by Il Fornaio by Wine Spectator are their "Award of Excellence", also held by all Morton's and Ruth's Chris steakhouses and awarded without a site visit. They haven't received any accolades from the New Yorker - they were only mentioned in a fascinating Malcolm Gladwell article on an industrial food r&d company.

[rappahannock]

There's a great interview with Il Fornaio president Mike Beatrice in this month's Pizza Today (#1 magazine of the pizza industry!) that includes the following...

I think it's also fair to note that the awards received by Il Fornaio by Wine Spectator are their "Award of Excellence", also held by all Morton's and Ruth's Chris steakhouses and awarded without a site visit. They haven't received any accolades from the New Yorker - they were only mentioned in a fascinating Malcolm Gladwell article on an industrial food r&d company.

Actually it isn't an award at all. It is paid advertising. An award is given, not paid for.

[Joe H]

Objective criticism/journalism is unbiased, neutral and fair. Testing and deducting on material that is not in the syllabus is not. Penmanship, like taste, however is subjective and Mr. Sietsema's palatte is not being questioned. His partisanship is. Neither Il Fornaio Reston nor the unnamed Milanese chef/partner make any mention of using seasonal products, only that the food has “been crafted in the custom of Italy's chefs, bakers and homemakers...In the tradition of Italy's trattorias, the sights, sounds and aromas of authentic Italian cuisine are recreated fresh everyday” whatever that means. Most independant restaurants motivated by passion rather than profit may not need such mission statement jingles.

Commenting on merely 10 of the 41 savory dishes offered on the accompanying website's menu after 3 visits and goofing on the restaurant for skirting the new seasonality criteria (in Wednesday's chit-chat as well) which it does not trumpet is probably a type of irresponsible Narrative Journalism. Investigating and exposing Il Fornaio employees and management as sex offenders whose grasp of authentic Italian cuisine is muted by their grasping of each others' genitals and food goods with unwashed hands is Muckraking. Criticising Il Fornaio in function and context of what it strives to deliver -casual, approachable Italian themed cuisine- to a wide swath of sloping brow cretins who slurp Pope Room sized maccheroncelli through their overbites, the best of whom might sheepishly discuss symptoms of what they believe to be gorgonzola with their free-clinic physician...thats Gonzo. Freedom to discuss it might be Citizen Journalism.

My previous allusion to the Olive Garden was unwarranted and insensitive since Il Fornaio operates 20 sites to the OG's 600+ and the former has received awards and accolades from Wine Spectator, New Yorker and other national publications. I am now very familiar with their whole operation. Still, with luck, Mr. S will not roast Denny's next week for serving “kitschy” Moons over My Hammy well into pre-theatre hours.

Regardless, after two visits now, I stand by my initial comments about this restaurant which is the first post on the Il Fornaio thread: "My wife and I had dinner at Il Fornaio in Midtown West on its opening night this evening. Remarkably, for a Monday night, the line was literally out the door.

I cannot tell you how much I missed Bebo-despite all the criticism of this board. Or the nearby Carabba's for that matter! Il Fornaio will be empty in three months..."

Obviously I was wrong: it has been more than three months and Il Fornaio is still open. But this is NOT a very good restaurant. It continues to do well in Town Center (which I live two miles from) but I cannot tell you how disappointed I am that this restaurant performs like this here. I've been to their restaurants in San Diego and Silicon Valley and thought they were very good for their market. The Reston outpost is not on par with either of them. For myself, I continue to believe that when Passion Foods and the Great American restaurant group open in Town Center next year (and possibly the White Chocolate Grill) Il Forniao will have serious problems.

I believe Tom was right in his one and one half star value judgment.

I continue to wish that Roberto will come to Reston!

[jpschust]

what's up with the like 20 minutes of discussion on the one disney restaurant not allowing kids? i just read yesterday's chat- is it just me or was that one of the worst chats in a while?

[DonRocks]

The "Sound Check" in Tom's Reviews is noteworthy. I like it because it's quirky, personal, and at the same a useful bit of objective data. The fact that it's at the very top of the review is sending a powerful message to the industry, although I do think that once this "intro period" is over, it needs to take a back seat to the review itself, and should be placed at the bottom alongside the address (and star rating ).

Cheers,

Rocks.

[ScotteeM]

The "Sound Check" in Tom's Reviews is noteworthy. I like it because it's quirky, personal, and at the same a useful bit of objective data. The fact that it's at the very top of the review is sending a powerful message to the industry, although I do think that once this "intro period" is over, it needs to take a back seat to the review itself, and should be placed at the bottom alongside the address (and star rating ).

Cheers,

Rocks.

I agree, Don! That info is particularly important to folks like me with a partial hearing loss (My mother was right--rock & roll did make me deaf!). I have regretfully not returned to some restaurants where I loved the food and service, because the noise level was uncomfortably high. But the Sound Check needn't be more prominent than other aspects of the review.

[giant shrimp]

The "Sound Check" in Tom's Reviews is noteworthy. I like it because it's quirky, personal, and at the same a useful bit of objective data. The fact that it's at the very top of the review is sending a powerful message to the industry, although I do think that once this "intro period" is over, it needs to take a back seat to the review itself, and should be placed at the bottom alongside the address (and star rating ).

Cheers,

Rocks.

i didn't really see much need for this, until we went to cork and sat across from the bar. i could hardly hear anything. next time i am asking for the back, which i assume is less deafening.

[youngfood]

The fact that it's at the very top of the review is sending a powerful message to the industry, although I do think that once this "intro period" is over, it needs to take a back seat to the review itself, and should be placed at the bottom alongside the address (and star rating ).

Did you see it in print? I think it's a quirk that it appears so prominently online - it's with that other info in the print edition of the magazine.

[Michael Landrum]

Three Tastes of China From Tom Sietsema

Sunday, August 3, 2008; Page N04

"Anyone hovering over the feast gets a free, and fragrant, facial. "

Note to self: No hovering over feasts...ever.

[squidsdc]

Three Tastes of China From Tom Sietsema

Sunday, August 3, 2008; Page N04

"Anyone hovering over the feast gets a free, and fragrant, facial. "

Note to self: No hovering over feasts...ever.

I just had to look up the source of the quote! Here it is for anyone else so inclined. (Scroll to bottom of article re: Pacifica)

[qwertyy]

I just had to look up the source of the quote! Here it is for anyone else so inclined. (Scroll to bottom of article re: Pacifica)

That entire piece was a triumph of painful writing, with cutesy writing and euphamisms in nearly every sentance. Really, quite extraordinary.

[Michael Landrum]

That entire piece was a triumph of painful writing...

Oh, it is not the writing that worries me...Perhaps people here are too much the Elizabeth Arden set (or don't have enough fun with their boyfriends) to see what truly alarms me in the quote (threat?) above.

Ink and nibs can break my ribs, but please, NOT IN THE EYE!!! (If I had a dollar for every time I heard THAT, I could stop selling burgers for once and for all...)

[Waitman]

Oh, it is not the writing that worries me...Perhaps people here are too much the Elizabeth Arden set (or don't have enough fun with their boyfriends) to see what truly alarms me in the quote (threat?) above.

Maybe you could post a link. I can't seem to find any.

[Mrs. B]

Maybe you could post a link. I can't seem to find any.

Oh honey, I'm sure you know where to look

[qwertyy]

Oh my.

[Michael Landrum]

London Calling

A Columbia chef tries to break the chain

By Tom Sietsema

Washington Post Staff Writer

Sunday, August 24, 2008; Page W19

"Every time I took a bite, fruit goo spurted out."

[synaesthesia]

Oysters on the half shell were the equivalent of the Olsen twins -- scrawny -- and from their lack of liquor, they appeared to have been shucked a day earlier.

I'd never considered comparing food to famous people...

[Pat]

I'd never considered comparing food to famous people...

Do the Olsen twins lack liquor?

[Poivrot Farci]

...The meat, served in thick, rosy slices with buttery whipped potatoes and an ever-changing green, was swollen with juices and gushing with flavor...

Yum. Repressed pre-teen sexual mentality can’t help but get giggly from the veiled geographical reference to a diluvial river of pan drippings and Mrs. Dash breaking a levee. Along with the campy Datelab filler, the WashPo mag’s dining tomfoolery can be a titillating roadside lunch truck accident as seen through a glory hole. Such padded descriptions may be inspired by cheap cushion and drapery accessories on sale at Bed, Bath & Blowyourfaceoff, as advertized in the circular, nuzzled between the perky A-cup Parade and sagging newsweight of the Grande Dame magazine. Discount dirty prose used to only be appropriate for cheeky reviews of all male reviews and burlesque buffets, but has finally broken through to arts of the table. If the author strives to be more proficient in generating clever sex analogies in the jobs at hand, he should get an eyeful of Mr. Landrum and the moderator’s Rabelaisian quips or late-night red-light liquor flavored musings.

[jdl]

Tom was honored yet again by the Association of Food Journalists in the best newspaper restaurant criticism contest. Third place this time around.

[edenman]

The cocktails and wines are fine, but beer goes down best with this kind of food, and the staffers are helpful guides to what's on tap. The English penchant for unusual branding extends to the suds, which sport such names as Golden Monkey, an ale with banana notes, and Entire Butt, a sweetish porter. ("I got it just for the name," Leeds says of the latter.)

Victory Golden Monkey - um, it's not british, it's american. And it's not even an english-style brew, it's a belgian tripel. do your research, man.

Salopian Entire Butt Porter - hey, if people order it just for the name, at least they're ordering a delicious, unusual beer.

[Hannah]

And then there was this:

Fish and chips are a letdown, though, done in by fat and undercooked french fries ("half the reason for ordering" fish and chips, groused a tablemate).

They're not fries, they're chips, and they're supposed to be large and somewhat squishy. His "tablemate" is an idiot. That being said, the chips at Commonwealth aren't appropriately chiply either - the size is fine, but they're overly dry, like they were oven-baked instead of fried. Eamonn's chips are still the closest approximation of a decent post-pub bag of chips available in the area, and they're not quite right either - current spousal theory is that OSHA/Dept. of Health regulations don't permit the truly gigantic vat of oil necessary for the production of proper chips.