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Tips on Tipping


Pool Boy

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I'd tip on the cost of the meal.

Several years ago, I was watching Oprah and her guest was Charles Barkley. They chatted all about rich people stuff and the subject of tipping came up. Of course, both being so, so famous, they get to eat for free...a lot. They both agreed that they leave big tips when dinner is comped, but then Oprah was shocked when Barkley went on and on about his cheap-ass friend, Michael Jordan.

It seems that Jordan, what with his gajillion dollars, doesn't tip so well. In fact, when he has meals comped, which is often, he tips on the cost of his food. $0.

Prick.

Untrue. Jordan used to be a regular at Olives when I was managing there...he spent a lot of money and always tipped at least 40-50% each visit. We never comped him anything and he couldn't have cared less. My servers alwys looked forward to his visits and clamored for his table.

As far as tipping on a comped meal, my train of thought is to always leave what the meal would have cost me minus 10-20%. If it's a $100 meal that I was comped (for math's sake), I'd leave $80-$90 in gratuity. I figure the meal would have cost me $100 plus $20 in gratuity, so I feel like I "saved" $30-$40 and the service staff gets a hookup.

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This is worth bookmarking - it contains a good chart on what to tip in certain situations:

"Everything You Don't Know About Tipping" on waitbutwhy.com

I looked at that chart.  I use to tip $1 per beer, but that's when beers were about $6-8, so it's about 15%.  What if the beer is $10?  What about a $15 glass of wine?  I don't really drink cocktails so that doesn't concern me as much.

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2 things stuck out to me:

1.  "Even if service sucks, never go below 15%". I would probably amend this to 10%. I think that too many people still regularly tip 15%, so leaving a tip at that rate might not register as someone expressing their displeasure with their service/meal.

2.  You are considered both a low tipper and average tipper if you tip $1/beer. Well, which is it?

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The *never* part bugs me.  While I encounter problematic service regularly and usually tip in the 15-18% range in those instances, I think aggressively bad service (which happens maybe once a year) deserves a close to 0% tip.  Chances are, if the service is that bad, going to management is just going to make things worse because the management is at fault and the waitperson should be forced out of the business by lack of financial renumeration.

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The *never* part bugs me.  While I encounter problematic service regularly and usually tip in the 15-18% range in those instances, I think aggressively bad service (which happens maybe once a year) deserves a close to 0% tip.  Chances are, if the service is that bad, going to management is just going to make things worse because the management is at fault and the waitperson should be forced out of the business by lack of financial renumeration.

Just to supplement astrid's post - which I agree with - I will add that the service she's discussing happens to me less than 1 out of every 1,000 times. Even still, it could mean that the person just had a death in the family, etc., but all they need to do is just say that - or say *something* - and it's instantly back up to 20%.

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How much do you tip the pizza delivery guy?

15-20% for delivery. I figure they work just as hard for one customer as a server in a restaurant, and they need the money (they also know where I live) - that said, I have absolutely no basis for this figure.

If you order from a restaurant multiple times for delivery at your home, they "know" whether or not you're a good tipper. Again, I have no basis for this; it's just a gut feel.

I tend to tip 15% if there's a $1-2 delivery charge, and 20% if there's no delivery charge; I won't order from a restaurant that has a $4 charge, for example - it's up to the restaurant to tell me where that money is going, and I'd like to know if it goes to the restaurant (likely) or the driver (less likely, but possible).

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I never do delivery pizza. We have so few choices in Laurel and all of them are awful.  So I go to Pasta Plus and overpay for pizza as carryout. I always tip the same 2 bucks for carryout no matter what the price of the pizza is. I mean...it's carry out right?

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I never do delivery pizza. We have so few choices in Laurel and all of them are awful.  So I go to Pasta Plus and overpay for pizza as carryout. I always tip the same 2 bucks for carryout no matter what the price of the pizza is. I mean...it's carry out right?

I don't know when this "tipping for carryout" protocol became expected, but I don't like it. Yes, they have to put the pizza in the box and ring you up, but this is called a *job* - two dollars is plenty.

Is the Ledo in Laurel not good any longer? Does it even exist any longer? (I think it was on Route 1 and Cherry Lane, or somewhere around there.)

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I don't know when this "tipping for carryout" protocol became expected, but I don't like it. Yes, they have to put the pizza in the box and ring you up, but this is called a *job* - two dollars is plenty.

Is the Ledo in Laurel not good any longer? Does it even exist any longer? (I think it was on Route 1 and Cherry Lane, or somewhere around there.)

It is still there. I have no idea if they deliver. The only places I am aware of that do deliver are Domino's, Pizza Hut and Papa John's - and they are all pretty awful.

I tip for the Pasta Plus carryout because then I tend to get better service when I walk in there

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Libertarians are literally anti-social, in that they don't believe they have any obligations to support the society that provides them with infrastructure, police powers, military protection, and court system to enforce their property rights.

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Every so often, I read about a group of libertarians try to enforce their property rights in a Latin American country or Southeast Asia, where foreigners are not afforded the same property protection as locals, and feel some satisfying schadenfreude.

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Also, i'm not a practicing lawyer and this is not legal advice, but the "libertarian tip" of declaring as gift money given in exchange for services rendered, with expectation of pay, sounds like tax fraud to me.  Any waitperson who tries that defense for not declaring their tip b/c it's a gift is unlikely to get a pass for an IRS auditor.

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24 minutes ago, astrid said:

Also, i'm not a practicing lawyer and this is not legal advice, but the "libertarian tip" of declaring as gift money given in exchange for services rendered, with expectation of pay, sounds like tax fraud to me.  Any waitperson who tries that defense for not declaring their tip gift is unlikely to get a pass from an IRS auditor.

I'm not a lawyer at all, and I can guarantee these tips won't get a pass from an IRS auditor - that's why they're in cash. The bigger problem is going to be at the restaurant, when it comes time to pool the tips - that's when all hell breaks loose.

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On 9/15/2016 at 2:10 PM, dcs said:

I have some quibbles I could make, but this more or less comports with my views on the matter:

The basic rules of tipping that everyone should know about, by Becky Krystal and Fritz Hahn, September 15, 2016, at 11:32 AM on washingtonpost.com.

Sounds reasonable to me.

On 4/27/2017 at 11:12 AM, Dr. Delicious said:
1 hour ago, astrid said:

Libertarians are literally anti-social, in that they don't believe they have any obligations to support the society that provides them with infrastructure, police powers, military protection, and court system to enforce their property rights.

57 minutes ago, astrid said:

Every so often, I read about a group of libertarians try to enforce their property rights in a Latin American country or Southeast Asia, where foreigners are not afforded the same property protection as locals, and feel some satisfying schadenfreude.

52 minutes ago, astrid said:

Also, i'm not a practicing lawyer and this is not legal advice, but the "libertarian tip" of declaring as gift money given in exchange for services rendered, with expectation of pay, sounds like tax fraud to me.  Any waitperson who tries that defense for not declaring their tip gift is unlikely to get a pass from an IRS auditor.

I find it sad that a practice that at least a certain part of the population has been using for tipping for at least 3 decades and most assuredly longer has now been branded with a political name.  That alone speaks to the politicization of our society and the further politicization of a practice if not commonly followed is one that is applied by a healthy number of diners.

Once electronic POS systems came into vogue certainly within the food and beverage industry and for those familiar with it, the practice of tipping cash came into greater use.

POS systems don't record cash tips.  That of course gives the FOH(front of house) staff discretion on how and what to declare.  They might declare zero on cash tips, they might be required to report about 8% or so of gross sales, or they they might report something between the total of their cash tips and something less.  It becomes their personal choices.

Career FOH tend to make different choices on this.  It often somewhat depends on their stage in life.  If one is looking at purchasing a home and getting a mortgage they will want to declare more income.  It becomes a strong incentive to declare the entire value of cash tips.  Otherwise they might declare less.

I couldn't give a hoot about whether FOH people under declare their incomes.  They are not that wealthy.  What they might under declare is a tiny drop in the bucket and has to pale compared to major tax fraud.

The remarkable story about FOH incomes is that it is dramatically variable.  I've seen stories here about how much FOH staff can earn and also how much they might earn relative to Back of House (BOH) staff.  Some of that is undoubtedly true.  OTOH, the vast majority of FOH personnel make small incomes.  Go door to door in Great Falls or Potomac and interview home owners.  See if you can find any FOH restaurant people who are not restaurant owners?  Visit restaurants that are good and popular but not uber busy every day and night.  FOH income can vary dramatically among staff.

Frankly its not my business to know what FOH staff declare or don't declare on their taxes.  Whatever they do it is such a minuscule level of under reporting or tax fraud it is not worth focusing on IMHO.

Its a shame to see the practice of tipping with cash in lieu of adding it to a credit card payment described in political terms.  It was never political for decades and decades.  To the extent its practiced now its mostly not political.  Too many damn everyday events are being labeled political.  Now that is a problem.

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Yes, compared to the vast "tax planning" industry (where tax laws are bent to the absolutely limit so that super rich individuals and corporations can minimize their tax burden), this situation is a drop in the bucket.  But let's not pretend that it's acceptable behavior or not deserving of punishment when caught.

I would agree that people who don't think rules/laws apply to them are found across all sorts of self identifications. That's my biggest problem with this sort of thinking. While some of this behavior is largely victimless, a large segment of society thinking casual lawbreaking or gaming the existing social order is okay is a symptom of a highly dysfunctional society.

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5 hours ago, DonRocks said:

I'm not a lawyer at all, and I can guarantee these tips won't get a pass from an IRS auditor - that's why they're in cash. The bigger problem is going to be at the restaurant, when it comes time to pool the tips - that's when all hell breaks loose.

Pooling tips is a different story.  I believe that in those cases the amount pooled per staffer is reported.  (Might not be the case every time-but I suspect it is the majority of times).

Staffers have different reactions to pooling.  If one feels they have worked like a dog and carried the heavy work load they don't like pooling.  If they realize they are getting more than their share of the work effort, they are probably pretty happy, albeit silent on it.  The results of pooling are very disparate place to place.  On the bartending side I'm aware of places wherein pooling has been great and the team happily and readily embraces it.  Other places end up losing staffers as they feel "cheated".   Whether pooling or not, its often not obvious to customers.  Its not the easiest or simplest thing to implement and practice effectively.  When the staff buys in and works it well, the bar rocks.

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I always tip 20%. I view it as part of the price for eating out.

For me, it doesn't matter if the restaurant in question is Per Se, Applebee's or something in between. While I would never go to Applebee's, you get my point.

What staff does with it after I'm out of the picture isn't my business. *shrug*

ETA:  Just read the link and noted the date (2005). That's great! But I don't think that service model will catch on in the U.S. as widely as I would hope, which is a pity.

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2 hours ago, Ericandblueboy said:

Tipping Quiz from WaPo.

Do you tip as you hand the keys to the valet?  Do you tip when you get the car back?

Do you tip house-keeping daily or at the end of your stay?

Those are some issues I disagree with the article.

Well, without even looking, I know that (unless you're staying at a posh resort (which I've done about five times in my life), where I tip *at the beginning* for everything), you tip daily for hotel housecleaning, because it's a different housekeeper that comes each day. 

I always tip when I get the car back, but I've never questioned this (ETA - oh, I was thinking "restaurant valet").

By the way, I *always* give the hotel clerk $5 upon check-in - a gesture that is met with absolute shock and disbelief almost without exception, and probably 50% of the time, I've gotten an upgrade. Just last week, I had two glasses of wine sent up to my room (it was wretched wine, but still). This isn't why I do it, and you should never expect anything in return, but it's something to think about.

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It all depends on the level of service you want/expect.

Tip the valet $10 or $20 on the way in, your car will be in the front, or close by, when you come out.  This avoids any valet from driving your car more than a few feet and also almost eliminates issues for any damage. Trust me, you do not want a valet driving your car around the block - remember the valet in Ferris' Bueller's Day off?  It happens. Always tip on the way in.

Tip the bellman, front desk and concierge and everyone will greet you by name, help you with whatever you need and you/your family will enjoy your time away more.  It may cost you $30-$50, which is nothing if staying at a nice resort or higher-end hotel. 

7 hours ago, DonRocks said:

By the way, I *always* give the hotel clerk $5 upon check-in - a gesture that is met with absolute shock and disbelief almost without exception, and probably 50% of the time, I've gotten an upgrade

If you do this, you will likely get warm cookies @ turndown, late checkout accommodation, or some sort of amenity - people deal with jackholes daily and any extra observation or appreciation of even decent service goes a long way.

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On 4/28/2017 at 7:49 PM, TrelayneNYC said:

I always tip 20%. I view it as part of the price for eating out.

For me, it doesn't matter if the restaurant in question is Per Se, Applebee's or something in between. While I would never go to Applebee's, you get my point.

What staff does with it after I'm out of the picture isn't my business. *shrug*

ETA:  Just read the link and noted the date (2005). That's great! But I don't think that service model will catch on in the U.S. as widely as I would hope, which is a pity.

6 hours ago, TrelayneNYC said:

Most of the time I tip more than 20%.  I don't do it in big crowds when we are splitting the costs simply b/c I don't want to stand out.  I simply don't make a big deal out of it.  I do it b/c I'm familiar with the industry and the ups and downs  (reference the story of the customer in the Jersey restaurant).  Its a personal choice. 

I typically try and tip in cash.  If I pay for a meal with a card I'll put $0 in the tip on the bill and add the cash.  I'm usually prepared for it before hand but occasionally not.

I tip in cash for a variety of reasons including the following:

1.  (First off I would tip the same in cash or a card)

2.  It gives the server/bartender the option on how much to declare for tax purposes.  With today's POS systems often servers/bartenders get their CC tips as part of their weekly or biweekly pay.

3.  Not all restaurants/restaurateurs are clean and kosher with paying CC tips.  I've heard that too often.  It comes with regard to all types of places.  Not all servers and bartenders totally know how much they earned in a shift (though they should).   If they aren't paying close attention they get stiffed.   Getting paid in cash keeps that from occurring. 

4.  To this day a lot of FOH people do look for daily cash.  Paying with cash makes that happen. 

5.  And paying in cash keeps a disappointed FOH person from making an (appropriate) stink when the occasional angry (cheap) customer stiffs them.

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2 hours ago, Ferris Bueller said:

If you do this, you will likely get warm cookies @ turndown, late checkout accommodation, or some sort of amenity - people deal with jackholes daily and any extra observation or appreciation of even decent service goes a long way.

To avoid any hint of awkwardness: If the desk clerks say, "No!", reply with, "You all are working hard," and people will always appreciate the notice - 100% of the time so far.

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1 hour ago, DaveO said:

  Not all restaurants/restaurateurs are clean and kosher with paying CC tips.  I've heard that too often.  It comes with regard to all types of places.  Not all servers and bartenders totally know how much they earned in a shift (though they should).   If they aren't paying close attention they get stiffed.   Getting paid in cash keeps that from occurring.

This is why I tip (and generally pay) in cash. Yeah, I know people say it's only so they don't have to declare it. Maybe, but... when I waited tables and tended bar, I declared my tips. I wasn't the only one. But I never received the full amount of the CC tips. And yes, I tracked them.

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2 hours ago, saf said:

This is why I tip (and generally pay) in cash. Yeah, I know people say it's only so they don't have to declare it. Maybe, but... when I waited tables and tended bar, I declared my tips. I wasn't the only one. But I never received the full amount of the CC tips. And yes, I tracked them.

Last week, I had a cabbie in Philly: A deep-rooted city girl, suffering no fools. Picking me up at the 30th Street Station, after having waited in a long cab line, she remarked, "You're only going 10 blocks to the Bellevue?"

"Yes," I replied, "but I'll tip you well."

On we went ...

I noticed, as we neared the hotel, that the meter wasn't on.

"Would you prefer that I pay in cash?" I asked.

"Sure, if you have it," she said.

"I don't have any," I replied.

"There's a WaWa right across from the hotel," she said.

She parked, and waited, as I dashed across the street to the WaWa (no shit, she really did).

I got plenty of money, and since I sort-of bonded with her, gave her a $20 (which was now the smallest bill I had).

"You don't want your change?" she asked, somewhat increduously.

Having no idea how much "the fare was," and figuring it would have been around $10, I said - "Nope, it's all yours."

She took it with a knowing look into my eyes, got my bag from the trunk, thanked me sincerely, and there it was: a classic barter system in action.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong; only that she needed the money more than I did, so she got it.

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12 hours ago, saf said:

This is why I tip (and generally pay) in cash. Yeah, I know people say it's only so they don't have to declare it. Maybe, but... when I waited tables and tended bar, I declared my tips. I wasn't the only one. But I never received the full amount of the CC tips. And yes, I tracked them.

Never???   That is horrific.  Assuming you were paid $2.13/hr.   that equates to $85.20/40 hr week:  about $4500/yr for a full time job.   That blows a living wage to shame.

The employer(s?) were taking your "wages" to supplement their income, all the while, while benefiting from a law/ruling, that allowed them to pay you way less than an acceptable wage.  They were making money off of the "wages" customers were paying you.

NEVER is horrific.  At the bartending school we encourage grads to leave employers who take their wages.  If we hear of employers doing that, (after a few such notices) we stop promoting their jobs to our grads.  We consider it abusive of staff.

There is no doubt tipping is a less than great way to earn money.  The example above is the pits.  I know it occurs.  I suppose it would be difficult to learn how often it occurs.  OTOH, low wages keep dining costs lower.  That encourages more dining.  People who work in the FOH have total wages that seriously are all over the spectrum.  We are very familiar with surprisingly low wages and we are also familiar with a few examples where FOH staff makes what  a member of Congress earns (and works about 1,,000 times harder.).  The last example is the very rare exception to the rule. 

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Every place I've worked in the last few years, when the waiters cash out at the POS , their numbers are entered into a spread sheet that distributes percentages to bartenders, busboys, runners plus the credit card carrying charges are deducted also. This seems to be standard these days. 

s

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5 hours ago, dcs said:

The Racist, Twisted History of Tipping, by Maddie Oatman, May/June 2016, on motherjones.com.

'It's the Legacy of Slavery': Here's the Troubling History Behind Tipping Practices in the U.S., by Rachel E. Greenspan, October 15, 2018 (updated August 20, 2019), on time.com.

This (the articles) is what we've needed for a long, long time - there has always been something that I've hated about tipping, and this helps verbalize my instinct. The whole custom *sucks*.

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I will say, generally carrying a lot of cash and in small bills just isn't easy for me.  One as a woman, I don't like to carry a lot of cash on me in general for safety, the size of my purse, etc, and two, I don't use cash a lot, so I generally have 20s and a whole horde of change not small bills.  When I am going to go on vacation though, I do have a habit of getting cash for tips.  I REALLY appreciate that my nail women now take Venmo for tips, that makes it super easy.  I use Uber, and I generally tip when service is very good, but I don't just tip regularly, I do in a cab.  I always tip 20% in restaurants, if not more (when in a small business with a small tab like a $6 lunch or something).  I always tip my hairdresser 20%, extra for the hair washer.  

If you are in the service industry and a small business, for instance you are a tour guide, hairdresser, nail person, etc, etc.  I would highly suggest having Venmo and having your Venmo name somewhere visible, but discreet, or on a business card or your website or linked to your main phone number.  There are a lot of younger people who just don't carry cash regularly, but would be more than happy to Venmo a tip.  I wish hotels would have a Venmo account for housekeeping/valet, yes, they would then have to distribute (and likely pool the tips as they wouldn't know who did what room unless you leave a note), but I think they would likely get more tips in general.  And in Venmo you can leave a small note regarding the payment which is handy.  This wouldn't work likely for restaurant service industry, but it is really nice, and I think if you want to adapt to the style that younger people are used to using, more people will want to do this.   Anyway, my two cents from an elder millennial.

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On 8/23/2019 at 1:35 PM, Ericandblueboy said:

I especially hate tipping cab drivers.  I don't understand why we have to tip them if they're not handling your luggage.  I would probably never use Lyft because they're the dopes that introduced tipping into ride hailing.  Now I feel obligated to tip my Uber driver.  

I hadn't taken a cab in a long time when I needed to get home from a Nats game after midnight earlier this summer.  The cabbie got me home safely, making a u-turn to make sure I didn't have to cross the street. He was careful to drop me right in front of my house so I didn't have any walking to do.

My fare wasn't that much, his service was very good, and I was happy to get that ride home, so i tipped him what was essentially 33%. He seemed shocked and very grateful. He kept thanking me, and I felt bad because he must not be getting much in the way of tips to react that way. it was not that much money. I imagine ride sharing has really cut into his business.

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On 8/23/2019 at 11:43 AM, DaveO said:

Never???   That is horrific.  Assuming you were paid $2.13/hr.   that equates to $85.20/40 hr week:  about $4500/yr for a full time job.   That blows a living wage to shame.

One of the jobs was in NY - so $2.01 an hour. 

This was in the 80s. And it was 4 different places. They all took the service charges out, and often "missed" one or more tips. Eventually I went to work for a place that was cash only. Loved that!

I still prefer to use cash, and always tip in cash. Folks assume I do this to allow people to avoid taxes. Yes, taxes from their employers, not from the government.

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Quote

 

You arrive at your hotel by car and leave it with the valet. Do you tip the valet attendant?
Yes

Correct! You should absolutely tip your valet attendant, preferably when you hand them your keys. This is a great example of gratuity to ensure proper service — you want the valet on your side. Swann recommends tipping valet drivers $3 and up.

“Tip them in the beginning and they’ll always look after you,” Pundole says. “The more you look after them, the more they look after you.”

 

So do you tip when you pick up your car?  I use to only tip when I pick up my car.  When I was in college (30 years ago) and worked as a valet, I was generally tipped when people picked up their cars.

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3 hours ago, Ericandblueboy said:

So do you tip when you pick up your car?  I use to only tip when I pick up my car.  When I was in college (30 years ago) and worked as a valet, I was generally tipped when people picked up their cars.

I think the current idea is they will treat your car better if you tip when you drop it off. I'd imagine whoever brings it back (who probably wasn't even there at drop-off) will also expect a tip.

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Grrr, I asked the fishmonger at Blacksalt Seafood Market today to cut the skin off my salmon, which I was using for sashimi this evening. At the register, I thanked him for his help, and gave him a $10 bill (I didn't put it into the tip jar, I handed it to him). When I got home, he hadn't cut the skin off.

I suspect I'm one of few people who *always* has given the fishmongers at BlackSalt cash tips.

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