"Never Again" Experiences

[Meaghan]

Extra Virgin. I mean, Extra Purgin'?

Instead of Regis can you do liquor?

Can you give a hint? Is there a shopping mall nearby? Are the mints by the hostess stand round or long?

Edited November 28, 2005 by Meaghan

[Jacques Gastreaux]

Bleu Rock Inn? 4 and 20 Blackbirds?

[Free Wilma]

Tallula?

[jparrott]

Free valet and parsnips are stumping me. Tuscarora Mill?

[Thrasher]

Don't Spill !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hannah]

Tuscarora Mill doesn't valet, so that ain't it.

Edited to add: after a few minutes' discussion, our vote is Colvin Run Tavern, even if they don't show parsnips on the website menu at the moment.

Edited November 28, 2005 by Hannah

[jdl]

On the advice of counsel, I will neither confirm nor deny any additional guesses. But I will say this: The restaurant has not been named in this thread thus far.

[Barbara]

On the advice of counsel, I will neither confirm nor deny any additional guesses. But I will say this: The restaurant has not been named in this thread thus far.

You realize, of course, that having tweaked the more curious of us, several innocent restaurants may become inadvertently tarnished in the guessing game.

And, what on earth is Thrasher worried about?

[eighty]

I think you'll be crucified if you name the restaurant and it's a favourite of members....check into past threads. I'd try to hold out

[RaisaB]

I think you gave the management enough notice to rectify the problem. They chose not to. I am guessing Chez Marc? Won't you please let us know? This forum is meant to be informative, not speculative.

Edited November 28, 2005 by RaisaB

[Skysplitter]

And, what on earth is Thrasher worried about?

Spillage of course. No beverage fouls allowed here, unless the wine is truly bad.

Staying tuned for further developments in this thread, heh...

[CajunJason]

Ahh, a true who-dun-it?...

The detective in me kicks in.

The posted headline is Chez Sorry in Northern Virginia. A drive back to DC was also mentioned, which would lead one to believe that the motivation of the Virginia visit was for the restaurant itself. A destination restaurant perhaps. And one that offers free valet, with a good wine list- hmm.

When I think free valet, my first guess goes to the restaurants at Tysons 2... but that doesn't explain a trip to Tysons- as they're plenty of Daily Grill's, Maggiano's and Legal Sea Foods in DC (nor are they destination restaurants.)

So my guess would be Kinkead's Colvin Run... an off night perhaps, or a new server who's clearly not ready for the floor.

Better luck next time!

Cheers, -j

[CajunJason]

Cause i'd expect better from 2941...

I would be shocked if they were the guilty party.

[mdt]

I think you'll be crucified if you name the restaurant and it's a favourite of members....check into past threads. I'd try to hold out

Only crucified if you trash a place with no details on what happened. And that goes for places that are a favorite or not.

[qwertyy]

You know, I have this same issue with Tom Seitsema sometimes. Once, in a chat, he mentioned having dinner at a "popular Adams Morgan restaurant" where a CAT-SIZED RAT scurried across the dining room. He would not name the restaurant. (Okay, well I hope he at least called HHS.) He'll also mention gross violations of cleanliness or food safety and not say at which restaurants they occurred.

Now, as much as I appreciate knowing that Restaurant A has insipid creme brulee and that Restaurant B's wine list is snootily Old World, I could figure that out myself without, you know, getting salmonella. I'd much prefer to be informed that Restaurant C is a petri dish for ecoli and roaches and that the chef doesn't wash his hands after using the facilities. I guess Seitsema doesn't review those places because after one meal he wouldn't return. But as a resident of Adams Morgan--home of the Sketchy, Popular Restaurant--I feel I'm missing out on an important facet of restaurant reviews: where NOT to eat because it might kill you.

[Barbara]

You know, I have this same issue with Tom Seitsema sometimes. Once, in a chat, he mentioned having dinner at a "popular Adams Morgan restaurant" where a CAT-SIZED RAT scurried across the dining room. He would not name the restaurant. (Okay, well I hope he at least called HHS.) He'll also mention gross violations of cleanliness or food safety and not say at which restaurants they occurred.

Now, as much as I appreciate knowing that Restaurant A has insipid creme brulee and that Restaurant B's wine list is snootily Old World, I could figure that out myself without, you know, getting salmonella. I'd much prefer to be informed that Restaurant C is a petri dish for ecoli and roaches and that the chef doesn't wash his hands after using the facilities. I guess Seitsema doesn't review those places because after one meal he wouldn't return. But as a resident of Adams Morgan--home of the Sketchy, Popular Restaurant--I feel I'm missing out on an important facet of restaurant reviews: where NOT to eat because it might kill you.

Ain't it the truth. Which is why I will tell you why I NEVER go to the Cosi at 20th & R Sts., NW: Was waiting to use the facilities and heard the flush followed immediately by one of the employees exiting. No hand-washing.

[B.A.R.]

Actually, I looked up the restaurant in the archives before I posted, to see if the place had a following here. But I didn't find much. So, I'd rather not name names.

Go ahead and name names. That's what this website is here for. The eponym of this very site never pulls punches, why should you? Be strong. So you might receive a little internet beat down. Those don't hurt, unless you are certain wine and hunting afficianado.

[Banco]

To quote a German bon mot (and there aren't many, I admit): "Du hast gegackert, jetzt musst du auch noch legen!" (Now that you've clucked, you have to lay!)

But I understand jdl's reticence. When I posted my first critical review on egullet, which was not nearly as negative, the experience was not pleasant. But I think as long as this site wishes to avoid becoming an admiration society or cheerleading forum, attaching names to substantive criticism such as jdl's is completely appropriate.

[crackers]

The eponym of this very site never pulls punches

ummm....nevermind.

"O monstrous world! Take note, take note, o world, To be direct and honest is not safe!"

[jdl]

But I understand jdl's reticence. When I posted my first critical review on egullet, which was not nearly as negative, the experience was not pleasant. But I think as long as this site wishes to avoid becoming an admiration society or cheerleading forum, attaching names to substantive criticism such as jdl's is completely appropriate.

Heheh. Trust me, I'm not really reluctant to criticize. I mean, if you knew me, you'd know that I take a particular delight in dropping the hammer. Criticism is, in fact, my middle name. (OK, not really. But it might as well be.)

It's just that I don't really see the value in outing this place. OK, so it would satisfy the morbid curiosity of readers here. But it's not like there's a health risk if you go, and like I've said, the place could well have had a horrible off night. Saying the food and service sucked doesn't do anybody any good without any sort of vis-a-vis. And it's impossible to compare data points, since neither I nor Diner X had been before, and it doesn't appear that DR.com readers are going in any great numbers. And if you are, then where are the reviews of the restaurant? Not in the archives; my search turned up not a one.

[Bob Wells]

Ain't it the truth.  Which is why I will tell you why I NEVER go to the Cosi at 20th & R Sts., NW:  Was waiting to use the facilities and heard the flush followed immediately by one of the employees exiting.  No hand-washing. 

I believe that employee's name is Poppy.

[bilrus]

Readers of criticisms on websites like this or eG have to go into it with the thought in their head that any commentary based on one visit by one person is not a sufficient sample to draw comparisons.

The only way this all works is if places can build up "sufficient literature" and if, over the long run, a restaurant's comments tip one way or another then conclusions can be drawn.

In other words - your bad experience could be an off night. The bad reviews from the next two poor bastards who end up there (partially because you didn't name names ) help identify a bad restaurant.

[B.A.R.]

Exactly. And the benefit may be you save me a couple of dollars or I try it out and write a less eloquent rebuttal of your account.

[jdl]

The only way this all works is if places can build up "sufficient literature" and if, over the long run, a restaurant's comments tip one way or another then conclusions can be drawn.

I guess that's one way to look at it. Another way to come at this is that if the first published review of a place is as bad as mine was of [redacted redacted] -- and it's worth noting that I really didn't discuss the food in any great detail, so this was more about service snafus -- anyway, that it might dissuade people from eating at the restaurant in the first place? So the sufficient literature might never build up? I'm not saying that one post on DR.com or EG or whatever can kill a restaurant. But it could certainly dissuade folks on the boards from going there. And if they never go, then we'll never know if my experience was representative.

Here's what I'll do: When I see three reviews of the place posted here, I'll come clean. If we never get three reviews, well ... it'll be my dirty little secret.

[brr]

[redacted redacted]

so it's a two word name?

[jdl]

so it's a two word name? 

Yes. (With a three-word margin of error!)

[shogun]

Yes. (With a three-word margin of error!)

I was just at a place in NoVA with a negative-one-word name but damn if I can remember it now...

[Sthitch]

It seems like this has just turned into some asinine game. Service is part major part of a meal. If they can’t get the food to you in the right order and at the right temperature there is no use in eating at the restaurant. Either name the damned restaurant or just end this nonsense.

[jdl]

It seems like this has just turned into some asinine game.  Service is part major part of a meal.  If they can’t get the food to you in the right order and at the right temperature there is no use in eating at the restaurant.  Either name the damned restaurant or just end this nonsense.

Well, it's easy to put an end to the game. Stop guessing. And stop trying to get me to out the place. Because I'm obviously not going to do it.

I never intented this to be a game. Just a rant about an amusingly bad dining experience at a place I didn't plan to out, for all the reasons I've laid out. Whether you agree or disagree with my logic doesn't really matter. It's my decision, and I've made it.

So yeah, let's just move on.

[MODWOP]

OK, well it really can end now thanks to Sietsema. Add the "parsnips" comment to Tom's "waitress on a low-carb diet" = now that's two people who have had a similarly wonky experience.

From today's chat:

"Mixed Grille, Va.: Tom, have you tried the newish Essential Grille near Tyson's? Any impressions?

Also, any idea why restaurants around here often add an "e" to the end of "Grill"? Does it make the food taste better? Mendocino GrillE, Dupont GrillE, Capital GrillE, Oakville GrillE and, of course, The GrillE. (I'd like to buy a vowel - and some parsnips.)

Tom Sietsema: I was eager to try the Essential, based on its menu and glowing releases. But WHAT a disappointment!

First, there's this really nutty service: Our waitress kept telling everyone in her section she couldn't recommend any dish that featured a starch because "I'm on a low carb diet. Too much information, I know." Our main courses came within two minutes of our appetizers, and when we asked the staff to take the entrees back, they were later returned to us having been thoroughly overcooked in the warming ovens or wherever. The food was a mess. And the place looks like a fast food chain. Ugh.

[jdl]

OK, well it really can end now thanks to Sietsema.  Add the "parsnips" comment to Tom's "waitress on a low-carb diet" = now that's two people who have had a similarly wonky experience.

From today's chat:

"Mixed Grille, Va.: Tom, have you tried the newish Essential Grille near Tyson's? Any impressions?

Also, any idea why restaurants around here often add an "e" to the end of "Grill"? Does it make the food taste better? Mendocino GrillE, Dupont GrillE, Capital GrillE, Oakville GrillE and, of course, The GrillE. (I'd like to buy a vowel - and some parsnips.)

Tom Sietsema: I was eager to try the Essential, based on its menu and glowing releases. But WHAT a disappointment!

First, there's this really nutty service: Our waitress kept telling everyone in her section she couldn't recommend any dish that featured a starch because "I'm on a low carb diet. Too much information, I know." Our main courses came within two minutes of our appetizers, and when we asked the staff to take the entrees back, they were later returned to us having been thoroughly overcooked in the warming ovens or wherever. The food was a mess. And the place looks like a fast food chain. Ugh.

Yep, that's the place. Now it can be told. Or, I guess, now it has been told.

[Principia]

OK, well it really can end now thanks to Sietsema.  Add the "parsnips" comment to Tom's "waitress on a low-carb diet" = now that's two people who have had a similarly wonky experience.

She might as well have said "No, I haven't tried any of those dishes, and no, I couldn't be bothered to ask any of my fellow servers what they like so I can offer an opinion to my customers. If you're thinking that's a pretty clear indication of what my service will be like, you'd be right."

[Banco]

She might as well have said "No, I haven't tried any of those dishes, and no, I couldn't be bothered to ask any of my fellow servers what they like so I can offer an opinion to my customers. If you're thinking that's a pretty clear indication of what my service will be like, you'd be right." 

I know it's hard to find good people for server positions, but really: How do restaurants find and hire people like Miss Low carb?

[Pete]

First, there's this really nutty service: Our waitress kept telling everyone in her section she couldn't recommend any dish that featured a starch because "I'm on a low carb diet. Too much information, I know."

This reminds me of a recent experience at a restaurant in Harrisburg, PA that bills itself as a steakhouse. When we were presented our menus, the waitress said "we are offering the hereford strip steak tonight, which is my personal favorite". A few minutes later when one of our dining companions had a question about the hereford steak, our waitress replied "I've never had it. I'm a vegetarian". WTF?

[DonRocks]

Also, any idea why restaurants around here often add an "e" to the end of "Grill"? Does it make the food taste better? Mendocino GrillE, Dupont GrillE, Capital GrillE, Oakville GrillE and, of course, The GrillE. (I'd like to buy a vowel - and some parsnips.)

I always, always pronounce the "e" to ridicule the pretense.

[Principia]

This reminds me of a recent experience at a restaurant in Harrisburg, PA that bills itself as a steakhouse.  When we were presented our menus, the waitress said "we are offering the hereford strip steak tonight, which is my personal favorite".  A few minutes later when one of our dining companions had a question about the hereford steak, our waitress replied "I've never had it. I'm a vegetarian".    WTF?

She didn't say it was her favorite thing to eat... was it by any chance her favorite by dint of it being the priciest item on the menu?

[shogun]

I know it's hard to find good people for server positions, but really: How do restaurants find and hire people like Miss Low carb?

Craigslist.

[DC in DC]

This reminds me of a recent experience at a restaurant in Harrisburg, PA that bills itself as a steakhouse.  When we were presented our menus, the waitress said "we are offering the hereford strip steak tonight, which is my personal favorite".  A few minutes later when one of our dining companions had a question about the hereford steak, our waitress replied "I've never had it. I'm a vegetarian".    WTF?

This happened to us at Viridian last Sat. We asked our waitress what she recommended, and she said she was a vegetarian and hadn't tried the meat/fish items. She was able speak about and describe those items though, and I didn't hold it against her. Although I don't know why it's necessary to tell us about your dietary restrictions. Requests for recommendations are not limited to what YOU like but what CUSTOMERS have liked, specialities of the restaurant, etc.

I went to Corduroy last week and recommended the spring rolls to my dining companion even though I don't eat pork (although it created a slightly awkward situation when she then wanted to split the dish with me and I had to decline).

[jm chen]

Requests for recommendations are not limited to what YOU like but what CUSTOMERS have liked, specialities of the restaurant, etc.

Absolutely. As with so many of these things, there's a smooth way and a rough way to get the job done.

"Which you do recommend, the steak or the chicken?"

"I haven't had either (optional reference to vegetarianism here) but the steak is very popular. It's served over greens with a garlic and lemon dressing. The chicken also sells well, and fries come with that, so it depends on what you're in the mood for."

[Mark Slater]

I always, always pronounce the "e" to ridicule the pretense.

How does it come out? Greel? or Grill-ie? or Gree-lay!

[DonRocks]

How does it come out?  Greel? or Grill-ie? or Gree-lay!

Grill-ie although I think gree-lay is even better.

And by the way, has anyone ever said they're going to:

Ristorante Tosca

Sergio Ristorante Italiano

Panevino Ristorante

Il Porto Ristorante

Filomena Ristorante

AV Ristorante Italiano

Ristorante Piccolo

Donatello Ristorante

Ristorante Sorriso

Luigino Ristorante

Ristorante La Perla

Paolo's Ristorante?

[B.A.R.]

No way I'd go to a Ristorante.

I like Gree-lay as well, gonna add that to my lexicon, right behind the nw Cole-bare Ray-pore on Comedy Central.

[bilrus]

Grill-ie although I think gree-lay is even better.

And by the way, has anyone ever said they're going to:

Ristorante Tosca

Sergio Ristorante Italiano

Panevino Ristorante

Il Porto Ristorante

Filomena Ristorante

AV Ristorante Italiano

Ristorante Piccolo

Donatello Ristorante

Ristorante Sorriso

Luigino Ristorante

Ristorante La Perla

Paolo's Ristorante?

But somehow Restaurant Eve is Restaurant Eve?

[bookluvingbabe]

Last week we made a last minute decision to grab a bite in Georgetown prior to a show at Blues Alley. I knew I didn't want Clydes. Beyond that I had no real preferences and a quick tour of Open Table suggested Old Glory as an option.

Two orders of brisket later, we won't be back. Dry, tough and pretty flavorless.

Oh well....

[jparrott]

But how many bourbons did you have?

This place is seriously bad. Although I believe it has grilled wings which are edible.

Edit: er, one track mind.

Edited December 20, 2005 by jparrott

[Heather]

I wasn't sure which thread this belonged in..

The Onion on tipping.

"It's days like this that I thank God I get paid less than minimum wage and can rely on a built-in economic incentive to keep me motivated during those 16-hour double shifts."

[ScotteeM]

I wasn't sure which thread this belonged in..

The Onion on tipping.

Thanks for sharing that, Heather! As an Onion subscriber, I really appreciate their satires, and this one didn't disappoint.

[joncephine]

Most of my places that I'll never go back to involve incidents and don't necessarily involve the food. However, some of these are still talked about many years after they happened, so it is worth remembering.

-Mandalay in College Park: a waiter informs me that since someone else at my table has already ordered what I wanted to order, I needed to order something else. I tried to laugh it off, and insist on what I wanted, but he refused to take my order. He actually left and came back and made me order something different. And it wasn't good. So I have never been back (and may never be, even though we moved to Silver Spring today). Every time I try to order something that someone else has ordered, E reminds me of this incident, even though he wasn't actually there.

-Korean food at an unnamed place on Little River Turnpike: we go with a birthday party of about 20 people. I order what I want to order, the waitress (see a pattern?) tells me that I don't want that (it was a pork dish). I tell her to come back to me, and I order something else (another pork dish). She tells me again I don't want that, and don't I want some nice chicken teriyaki. At this point, I have no idea what I do to waiters that says "Clearly, you know what I want to eat" but I order a fourth dish to finally get something to eat, and I also ask for another glass of wine. When they brought the panchan out, those of us who had only had Korean once before actually had no idea whether we were supposed to nibble on them or wait until we had our entrees cooking. We also had no idea what they were. But regardless. Our table had two grills, which the waitress fired up to help us barbecue different dishes. One of the grills immediately went out. The only way to keep it lit is to actually hold down the lighter-button and constantly re-light the flame. She chooses to do this over my shoulder (had to be someone). For about six or seven minutes she tries to get the grill hot enough to cook on, until one of my table-mates volunteers to hold it down, so that she doesn't have to keep standing there. As we leave, she asks me if I want more wine (since my refill had not yet come) and I responded in the affirmative. Eventually, we just give up on the second grill, and some food is just barbecued back in the kitchen. Some just sit at the end of the table without ever being cooked, and some never arrive out of the kitchen at all. What does come out of the kitchen? Two additional glasses of wine, which after such a painful meal my roommate and I drank gratefully. The second table of our group? Everything worked perfectly well, they had a wonderful meal. I think we just had the unfortunate luck of sitting at the kid's table that night.

-We’re on our way home from a visit to E’s parents’ house in MA when we decide to meet friends in Cambridge for dinner. We decide to go out for Indian food, at a neighborhood place a few blocks from their apartment. I was pleasantly surprised at the quality of said Indian food (I had a lovely paneer dish, E had a passable vindaloo) and dinner was going quite well until I nailed my head on a plate. Which the waiter was holding. Which I managed to chip. WITH MY FOREHEAD. Eating out can be hazardous to my health. And the sanity of waiters EVERYWHERE. So, bleeding profusely from my forehead, I leave the restaurant to collect myself. My friend comes out to check on me and to make sure I'm not losing it in Harvard Square, and I'm not sure whether she is happy to see I am laughing hysterically, or wondering why they just CANNOT TAKE ME ANYWHERE.

Today? You can identify me by a visible scar on my forehead. And a fear of plates with corners.

[Don, if you feel this is so off topic as to be deleted, let me know]

[bonaire]

Check this out.This is a post from a local blogger about service in DC. I think he's a bit harsh -- it just sounds awfully darn superior. However, I think his expectations mirror those of a lot of folks in the city (right or wrong)...

[Heather]

Check this out.This is a post from a local blogger about service in DC. I think he's a bit harsh -- it just sounds awfully darn superior. However, I think his expectations mirror those of a lot of folks in the city (right or wrong)...

Maybe. But anyone who voluntarily eats at Afterwords deserves whatever they get.