Crackpot Culinary Concepts

[zoramargolis]

I don't have an ice cream maker. If I did, I might be tempted to try this flavor combo I thought of yesterday:

PIS'TOFFIO-- pistachios, toffee and ice cold anger

And for those gastronauts who are always game for eating exotica:

LEMUR ORANG PIE

I don't know why I just thought of this--I'm not making this up--my 8th grade Home Ec teacher at John Burroughs Junior High in L.A. was named Carmen Crumpacker. I swear to god.

[Al Dente]

My crackpot concept is to open a falafel joint. It would be called "Falafel Waffle". I'd somehow make falafels in a round waffle iron thereby creating large, flat, half-moon shaped falafels that would fit perfectly into 1/2 of a round pita. I'm sure to make millions.

[Andelman]

One night, many, many years ago my roommate was eating a piece of french toast. It just so happened that his bite pattern produced an image of Richard Nixons profile in the before mentioned piece of french toast (it REALLY looked like nixon, but I will admit that our room smelled like Otto's jacket ) So he had this great idea to open up a place in DC called Presidential Pancakes where all of the pancakes/french toast would look like the profile of one of previous presidents...So if anyone wants to invest....

[ol_ironstomach]

Many moons ago, I was at the Andrews AFB airshow with a few friends when we noticed an unfortunate confluence of two signs on a food vending booth. Viewed from where we stood, they read SAUSAGE SPECIALTY DRINKS.

Predictably if not regrettably, we ran with the theme.

[crackers]

Predictably if not regrettably, we ran with the theme.

These are too funny not to post:

Grande Wurst (Grand Marnier and a wurst)

Minced Julep

Dr. Pepperoni

Head Cheese Brain Freeze

Peppermint Patè

Head Cheeze Whiz

Olive and Pimento Loaf Smoothie

Scrapple on the Beach

Bloodwurst Mary

Chipped Russian (Kahlua and Creamed Chipped Beef)

Chorizo-rita

Tanqueray and Tongue (aka ``The Gin Lick'')

Ground Beefeater

Scrapple-cino (Mocha Scrapple-cino, Grande decaf skim mocha scrapple-cino, with a twist of lemon.)

Harvey WallBangers and Mash

Hormel Gibson

Lit'l Smokies Martini

Sausage and Scrambled Egg Creme

Spamhatten

Samuel Adams Triple Bockwurst

Fuzzy Tongue (Peach Schnapps and Orange Juice, with a slice of tongue)

Organ Creamsicle (like a Orange Cremesicle, only different)

Grand Guts

Tripe Sec (Cow, Pork and Sheep Stomach with Triple Sec)

Sex with a Haggis

Mulled Swine

Andouille Iced Tea

Chorizo Sunrise

Captain Organ's Spiced Bum

Spamorangie (Spam and a single malt Glenmorangie Scotch)

Glenliverwurst (Liverwurst and a single malt Glenlivet Scotch)

Slim Jim Beam (think swizzle stick)

Sloe Gin Lick Up Against the Wall

Longhorned Iced Tea

Havartini

Yoo-Hoof

Clambord

KielbasAle

Mountain Ewe

Haggis Colada

Squirrely Temple

Whiskey Sauerbraten

[zoramargolis]

My crackpot concept is to open a falafel joint. It would be called "Falafel Waffle". I'd somehow make falafels in a round waffle iron thereby creating large, flat, half-moon shaped falafels that would fit perfectly into 1/2 of a round pita. I'm sure to make millions.

Not that far off from "World's Wurst" a California hot dog chain. Though you probably ought to call it Falafel Wawful for it to be analogous.