An Open Letter to Tom Sietsema

[Kibbee Nayee]

Sent today:

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Please, Tom....please make it stop. The world would be a better place if in your absence, the Magazine simply runs a "Tom will return" with empty space. I'm sure Candy Sagon is a lovely person in real life, but her reviews offer no value whatsoever. And painfully so.

Here is her typical review....some place in northern Virginia that is drawing no buzz is a solid two stars! And based on this review, you won't want to visit it for any reason! Not only that, you won't learn anything more about it than you already know, even if you've never been there, based on my vacuous review!

Let's take the current one -- Opa Mezze Grill in Ashburn. I certainly want to drive past about a hundred such establishments on my way to Ashburn, only to enjoy ...

"The problem with the pork is a common one with a lot of American pork -- it’s so low in fat that it’s hard to cook it to a safe temperature without losing juiciness. So the Brizola Hirini, or grilled pork chops on the bone, looked great but were too chewy and dry."

Gee....I could write that line all day long about any restaurant in the NoVa suburbs, and even replace "pork" with "chicken"....

Or how about this blinding flash of wisdom....?

"On the mezze side of the menu, the usual dips and appetizers are there, and taste fresh and light." Wow, let me zip right past Nostos on my way to Ashburn and enjoy the heck out of that tease...!

And of course, from her review I now have a solid comparison to such Greek destinations as Komi or Mykonos because she compares and contracts so well....or not. Or I know where they source their lamb, making me want to taste its pure deliciousness more than the 20 Greek restaurants within 5 miles of any northern Virginia diner.

Please, Tom....make it stop. We simply don't need another 2-star northern Virginia yawner to become even more of a place to avoid or a place that is even more irrelevant than when Candy does her information-free reviews. Honestly, dead space would be better....

[DrXmus]

While I agree that her reviews tend toward the bland, she did use the obligatory "redolent" and she tends to review NoVA restaurants, rather than those in DC and adjacent environs. These are the places those of us in NoVA may be more likely to visit routinely than the expense-account restaurants and tiny, busy joints deep in DC. She's no Tom Sietsema or Don Rockwell, but I guess she's got her place.