Poivrot Farci

While I have no medical background or equivalent education and can not confirm or deny that animals have feelings or can appreciate cable television, I would argue that mowing down a field of cows is more cruel than a field of corn. It is silly to put all living organism in a group and even the PETA member on the furthest ends of the spectrum aren't championing the rights of icebeg lettuce. Animal Rights Groups such as the Humane Farming Association are not against using living organisms for food or "killing animals". Rather, they argue that animals should be raised and slaughtered in a humane manner, like halal; free of antibiotics, natural feed and instant death. Since we give living animals human feelings due to our association and contact with them (domesticated pets as opposed to oysters) our slaughering basis is understandably biased, especially since we buy cuts of meat shrink wrapped. So long as our cats and dogs aren't being stolen and served with brioche and apple butter the best one can do is avoid eating foods one finds offensive and not be self righteous. We should all be so fortunate to have the luxury of arguing over what to eat and which animals have feeling while most of world goes hungry.

Commercial veal are no longer kept in pens. PETA did away with that a long time ago. "veal" steers are slaughtered at an early age before their third stomach develops (adult steers having 4). Fast Food Nation illustrates the horrors of industrial American beef. As for the ducks and geese, their brains are Rubik's Cube equivalent of 2x2 cube with only 2 colors...a puzzle even Bobby Flay could figure out. Duck and geese have no gag reflexes, therefore the feeding funnels (now mechanized as opposed to the hand cranked Archimiedes wheels of les vieux temps) do not bother them. The ducks are fed twice daily for a fortnight until their weight doubles and their livers grow to the size of David Crosby's. I have heard that farmers turn off the lights in the coops and then turn them on again a few hours later and the ducks think "oh, a new day, time to eat again." Rumor has it that the ducks are particular and when hand fed will only eat, albeit forcibly, from the same person hence the difficult of migrant foie gras workers in Hudson Valley getting a day off. Average French duck livers range in 1-1.5# and the artisinal whole ducks found in markets in the winter still have corn in their gizzards. I'm not sure if american ducks are feed cheetos or what, but their livers get well past 2#. The council should concentrate their efforts on banning the practice of force feeding children since they seems to be much fatter than their European counterparts as well In a effort to please both sides of the fat ducks - fatter people debate, I'm working on soylent foie in my lab at home.

Perversion most fowl. The Chicago City Council might want to take a tour of IBP and other midwest processing facilities and then decide how the fate of cattle and swine compare to that of ducks. The workers aren't treated much better.

If and when, ..no, wait WHEN there is a tangent to this truly putrid televisionial fondue of celebrity L'epoisse, it should be: Celebrity dishwasher. I, chairman/dude/sir/man/guy/whatever Poivrot Farci, draw, pick or whatever to be my anti-septic lemon-flavored latex-glove clad porter to be: (in order of choice/availability) 1. James Woods 2. Scott McClellan 2. Gary Busey 3. Charles Nelson Reiley 4. Sharon Stone 5. Charles Neslon Reiley 6. One of the Olsen Twins. (the fat one) 7. Ken Lay Allez Lavez!

There is also the lowbrow Ask Bobby something silly It reads like a desperate 2nd to last SNL skit that would have aired during a writer's strike. My early favorite Floppy Boob rebuttals are: (In no particular order) 1.Don't freak out. I honestly don't know. 2.For the love of God, just calm down Lucy. 3.You are really falling apart. (in response to a woman who is coming to NYC after hip replacement and pneumonia. Nice!)

Ms. Cora offers the viewing audience more sex appeal than Julia Child ever would have, hence her participation in the saccharine version of Iron Chef. The syndicated original Japanese version appears to have been taken off the air, much to my chagrin. Ms. Cora and Payaso Flay are one trick ponies that should be put down. Give them something other than eggplant and feta or nacho cheese and blue corn tortillas respectively, and Ms. Cora is likey to use her femine wiles on the judges and Flay is likely to hit the bottle. As for Wolfgang Puck, will part of his celebrity coaching involve hocking bakeware on QVC or autographing cans of pizza flavored soup? While the Japanese are excessive in almost every regard, be it golf, karaoke or holiday photography...their dignity is kept in check by Sakai, Michiba, Chen...and to a lesser extent Kobe, man on the scene Shinichirô Ôta... and the psychic judge. I am beset that my industry has succumbed to the greed of lowbrow prime-time television executives and the extinction of writers. Celebrities have become the duct-tape of ratings. And if that doesn't work, throw in B or C listers of the Charles Nelson Rielly or Tony Danza variety. Are there any culinary documentaries? As for films, Babette's Feast will shadow the shame of cooks everywhere.

Monday, May 1st 2006 (the traditional Communist holiday May Day) is being called the “Great American Boycott”, a nation-wide immigrant general strike. Immigrants and others are encouraged to boycott work, school, sales and buying as a example of solidarity against HR 4437 and Anti-Immigrant Legislation. Therefore, diners and restauranteurs should support the pursuit of amnesty by being understanding of restaurant closures and respectful of employee participance in the strike. In layperson terms, regardless of your view on immigration, there will be considerable disturbances in the food service industry on Monday and you might want to avoid eating out. It comes as no surprise to anyone who works in the food industry how important immigrants and migrant workers are to everything from harvesting food, slaughtering, delivering, preparing, cooking, serving, cleaning...virtually every step of how food goes from raw state to your stomach and beyond. Those who believe that immigrants are a drain on society don’t realize the magnitude of migrant workers in this country and the work they do, often unsavory, for low wages that ensure lower costs for YOU the consumer. Everyone wants everything for cheaper, and sadly, many of us do not have the financial liberty to be idealistic. Without immigrant workers, food would reach markets at higher prices and ultimately restaurants would have to relay the elevated cost onto the customers from there on, making restaurants a luxury.

While brunch may be the scrourge of humanity, for both cranky hungover patrons and crankier hungover cooks, the brunch pastry basket at Ardeo is a sobering delight. Yesterday's featured house baked lemon-poppy muffins, scones and superlative cream-cheese spiral danish pastries. $7 no less!, and rooftop patio seating. Cheers to the new chef and pastry chef and baked cheese. Jeers to fusel alcohol.

The grand trilogy of culinary books that you should or must posess are: In no particular order 1. The French Laundry 2. Culinary Artistry 3. On food and cooking, Harold McGee The French Laundry is an excellent resource for those already comfortable in the kitchen and has recipes and introductions into higher end production and products such as pasta dough, butter poached lobster, foie gras, seasonal vegetables and such and such. Culinary Artistry is sort of a food lover's encyclopedia that matches foods. Almost every vegetable, fruit and protein are listed alphabetically (and when in season)and thereupon listed below are what they can and traditionally are paired with. There are lists of what herbs and spices traditionally accompany what, basic staple of ethnic foods, salty-sweet-sour-bitter foods and menu items from well reputed chefs. There aren't any recipes in the book. It simply tells you what goes well together and how best prepared (grilled, braised etc...) On food and Cooking is a scientific reference that will give you everything from the molecular structure of mayonaise to temperatures of cookery for proteins. It is a compendium of where everything comes from, its history and why it does what it does and how it comes to be.

erhaps Mr. Coldren eventually grew tired of managing a restaurant that hasn't changed its menu since the opening 15 months ago. Mr. Coldren come from an excellent pedigree and it is sad that he threw in the towel first. Hopefully the service will remain up to snuff.