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The Peppermint Cosmo-tini


Joe Riley
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I had occasion to be a guest at the Cosmos Club today for lunch, and I happened to notice this holiday cocktail:

Peppermint Cosmo-tini

Smirnoff vodka

Peppermint schnapps

splash of Crème de Menthe (presumably the green, not the clear)

served chilled "up" in a martini glass rimmed with sugar and garnished with a candy cane.

No, I didn't have one, but it certainly sounds pretty.

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Peppermint Cosmo-tini
Cosmo-tail
served chilled "up" in a martini glass
cocktail glass.

Oh, and a word from exalted master Ted "Dr. Cocktail" Haigh:

"Vodka is flavorless not by history but by ATF edict. Czarist vodka would’ve been nice and rough, and likely informed by flavors from the distillate. I really can’t say much good about modern trendy vodka. Smoothness is overrated. The drinks thought up by the massive multinational holding companies that own the brands are sweet and they hide even what tiny alcohol flavor and kick their products still possess. My rule of thumb: If a child would like the drink, it is dangerous and the cocktail promotions these companies do promote is alcoholism, period."

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:(

I said, "cocktail". What I wrote down was verbatim from their menu. Don't blame me if they want to call it a martini.

So, I guess that neither you nor Ted Haigh will be ordering this when you are invited to the Cosmos Club, then?

Well, bah, humbug. It's the duty of the devoted drinker to get plowed on holiday concoctions. It's called "getting into the Christmas 'spirit'. It doesn't matter if you actually LIKE them, it's like egg nog or fruit cake - it's TRADITION, damnit! :(

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I had occasion to be a guest at the Cosmos Club today for lunch, and I happened to notice this holiday cocktail:

Peppermint Cosmo-tini

Smirnoff vodka

Peppermint schnapps

splash of Crème de Menthe (presumably the green, not the clear)

served chilled "up" in a martini glass rimmed with sugar and garnished with a candy cane.

No, I didn't have one, but it certainly sounds pretty.

Sounds gag-inducing. Maybe it was a shooter.

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Jhah, that little girly-man drink makes me want to pummel it then shake it over ice and pour it into a tiny little glass and drink it in one sip. Hear me now, belive me later, men with pumplitude don't drink little foofoo vodka drinks. :(

Especially green foofoo vodka drinks. I'm sure the recipe specifies Bols. <shudder>

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I had occasion to be a guest at the Cosmos Club today for lunch, and I happened to notice this holiday cocktail:

Peppermint Cosmo-tini

Smirnoff vodka

Peppermint schnapps

splash of Crème de Menthe (presumably the green, not the clear)

served chilled "up" in a martini glass rimmed with sugar and garnished with a candy cane.

No, I didn't have one, but it certainly sounds pretty.

Yes, I would love to have one right now.

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Cosmo-tail
This is truly a special occasion because I get to out-Jake, Jake.

It wouldn't be a "Cosmo-tail" because a cocktail is defined as containing spirits, water, sugar and bitters. This would be a Vodka Stinger with Peppermint Schnapps.

But mad props for quoting the man, Ted Haigh. I'll do you one better by quoting David Embury from one of the all-time greatest cocktail books, The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks (1958).

"...There are various new drink mixtures, some, in my opinion, decidedly inferior, which have hit headlines and created at least a temporary furor about which my readers might like to know. What is the Moscow Mule, the Waltzing Matilda, the Bloody Mary, the Screwdriver, the Grasshopper?

Perhaps the outstanding example of what I mean is vodka--a wholly characterless, dilute grain alcohol that has streaked across the firmament of mixed drinks like Halley's Comet... It is hard to conceive of any worse cocktail monstrosity than the Vodka Martini, the Vodka Old-Fashioned or Vodka on Rocks."

Now if you want to get in the real spirit with something 10X worse...

The Fruitcake Martini

1/2 oz B & B

1 oz. 10 Cane Rum

1 oz. Monin Gingerbread syrup

2 oz. cranberry juice

Garnish with red & green cherry

Not my recipe. Not an endorsement. Just saying, in the spirit of the season and getting blotto on holiday concoctions.

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The thought that anyone would voluntarily drink either of these concoctions is making me nauseous. :(

And were Jake wearing his grammarian hat, he might observe that you probably meant to use the term nauseated. In classical usage nauseous means "nausea-inducing", not "suffering from nausea". Most Americans seem to have gotten that completely crossed-up in the past 25 years or so, to the point that many US dictionaries now accept the colloquial use of nauseous as an alternate definition.

Next week, we explore the proper use of sensuous versus sensual. There will be a quiz.

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And were Jake wearing his grammarian hat, he might observe that you probably meant to use the term nauseated. In classical usage nauseous means "nausea-inducing", not "suffering from nausea". Most Americans seem to have gotten that completely crossed-up in the past 25 years or so, to the point that many US dictionaries now accept the colloquial use of nauseous as an alternate definition.

Next week, we explore the proper use of sensuous versus sensual. There will be a quiz.

Sorry, my Ms. Language Person hat gets tossed when I'm trying not to vomit. :(
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