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The Shitty Tipper Database


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i think i will spend the rest of my day reading the celebrity gossip. it is even better than the tips. i don't know if it's true that a famous evangelist told a bus boy at a restaurant in lynchburg to get a hair cut, but it sure sounds like him. the entries on jonathan franzen are just plain weird.

(here's my contribution: when i was an usher at a movie theatre, justice burger came up to me and asked how to use the candy machine. i asked him what he wanted, he gave me his quarter, i inserted the coin, pushed the button for his selection, handed it to him and he thanked me. i sure felt swell.)

(one summer when i was working as a busboy in the suburban location of a popular washington fish restaurant where they had a paging system and were famous for their crab imperial and rum buns, a prankster on the staff excused himself from the floor to make a phone call to one of the establishment's less endearing hostesses. this was followed by a page to the full dining room: "i have a telephone call for huey newton...huey newton." he was on the fbi most wanted list at the time, and it is a good thing i didn't have one of those heavy trays on my shoulder when the announcement was made. i would have dropped it.)


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