mktye Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 Another issue was service-related and it took me until this morning to figure out what really bothered me about it. My husband and I have different last names, so occasionally one of us (usually me) will get called by the other's last name. Throughout the meal, the waiter referred to my husband as Mr. my-last-name. My husband didn't mind, and we kind of shrugged it off. It seemed like an awkward thing to make a point of (and I never realized before we got married how many complications having different names would cause).I make all the restaurant reservations and have an ambiguous name, so it's understandable why it would happen. It was only well after the fact that I realized that the waiter only addressed him by name. He assumed that he was the the person who made the reservation. I could have been his wife, mistress, sister, or anything else, so he didn't have a name to call me. (I understand: How embarrassing to call me Mrs. my-last-name if I turned out not to be his wife.) It left me wondering if I should change my open table account to use more my feminine full first name as opposed to the nickname I always use. I'm not bringing this up to criticize this restaurant, because it has happened before. It's, I guess, a matter of managing to maintain some kind of traditional etiquette and formality in a world where people have ambiguous names. And, in the end, my husband was the one who paid the check. So, I'm throwing this out as a question rather than a criticism: Should I make it more explicit that I am female when I make reservations? Should I use my husband's name? Is it not worth fussing about? Is there a non-awkward way to bring it up with a server when something like this happens? I understand that people in the hospitality business are trying to be as hospitable as possible, and I'm not trying to make it any harder. When rwtye was out of town for business last December, I had a very nice dinner with a few other DR.com folks at a DC fine dining establishment. I had made the reservation in my name and for some reason (because we arrived together?) they called mdt "Mr. Tye" all evening. I don't know about mdt, but I thought it added a whole other of layer of amusement to the dinner (and rwtye thought it hilarious once he heard about it) and never felt it was worth clarifying. As someone with what apparently is a difficult-to-pronounce/remember name, I gave up long ago letting such things bother me. I usually only correct people on my name if it is someone I know I'll be seeing again. So if you plan to return to the restaurant with regularity, it might worth a bit of discomfort to correct the person so your hubbie is not forever known there as Mr. my-last-name. However, if I were you, I would've been very tempted to simply tell the waiter "Oh, he's not Mr. my-last-name..." with a smirk, the raising of one eyebrow and a naughty twinkle in my eye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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