thistle Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 A Yugo, huh? My first car was a Pinto. Wish I was younger &/or headed west (or that I could play a fiddle or a banjo or do splits while jumping on a trampoline). I didn't like country music growing up, but now I like the melancholy & heartbreak, & weird optimism.There will always be people writing bad stuff, it's easy enough to get it online, you read it & forget it (glad you didn't join their blog).My cousin (who's much younger than I am) is headed cross country, to start a new life in CA, I envy him & I hope this trip is memorable for him. It's kind of scary, uprooting yourself from your comfortable surroundings, & starting fresh-but what an opportunity! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 A Yugo, huh? My first car was a Pinto. My dad, for some inexplicable reason, decided to buy a Pinto as our second car. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thistle Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 I could tell Pinto stories for days ( my kids are already over it). Mine was purchased by my dad for $100 & a couple of buckets of shrimp- he was totally taken. But he opted for a fancy paint job, blue w/ silver racing stripe down the center. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbara Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 I could tell Pinto stories for days ( my kids are already over it). Mine was purchased by my dad for $100 & a couple of buckets of shrimp- he was totally taken. But he opted for a fancy paint job, blue w/ silver racing stripe down the center. About 10 years ago, maybe at the turn of this century, the Car Guys put out a list of the Ten Worst Cars of the Century. Turns out that my Brother owned two of them--a Pinto and a Cadillac Cimmaron (which had a stick-shift, which he loved). I never miss an opportunity to remind him of this. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porcupine Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Pintos make surprisingly good race cars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted June 3, 2015 Author Share Posted June 3, 2015 I just realized that marital is a small step away from becoming martial. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thistle Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Ok, now come up with a word that correctly describes your relationship w/ your child (whether it's an anagram or homonym)- right now mine is a mix of expletives ( as I think back to the crap I put my own parents through). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Dente Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I just realized that marital is a small step away from becoming martial. I just realized that marital could be pronounced "MARE-it-tall" making it sound like a prescription medicine. Ask your doctor if Marital is right for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weezy Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I just realized that marital could be pronounced "MARE-it-tall" making it sound like a prescription medicine. Ask your doctor if Marital is right for you. Does that come with the disclaimer list of contraindications? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Dente Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Does that come with the disclaimer list of contraindications? Side effects include ingrown testicle, rectal hallucinations, and restless torso syndrome. See you in HEALTH!, Dr Stephen Colbert 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Contest #1 (For Beginners) Rules: You laugh, you lose. 1. Be out of earshot of children or people who may be offended. This is NSFW, so you've been warned. That said, if there *is* someone in the room with an open-minded, erudite, sophisticated sense of humor, you can all play at once! The first person to laugh, loses. 2. Click on this, and then move your cursor off the word, and then back on the word - there is no need to click anything. Do this 10 times. That's the whole contest - if you can make it to 10 without laughing, you win. The first person to laugh, loses. Good luck. Contest #2 (For Tougher Nuts To Crack) Rules: Same as before. Click on the letters of the alphabet. If you can make it all the way through without laughing, you win. If you're in a group, the first person to laugh, loses. Let's begin - for each letter, click it, and then close your eyes. If you're in a group, then you have to stare at each other. A B C D E F G H I (*) J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z  (*) And you accuse me of being puerile.  And if you've made it this far, congratulations. Now for the bonus round: If you're alone, you have to keep your eyes closed; if you're with other people, you have to stare into each other's eyes. The first person to laugh, loses. Click on this, close your eyes, and good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted September 27, 2015 Author Share Posted September 27, 2015 It's better to detest a listicle,than to delist a testicle. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 Q: What does this: Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â :Â have in common with this?:Â A: They're both an alfajor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted July 30, 2016 Author Share Posted July 30, 2016 Fred [emerging from lavatory, limping, thermometer in mouth]: "You know you're really sick when your pee is purple." Ralph: "Oh my *God*!! Is your pee purple?!?!" Fred: "No, but if it was, I'd know I was really sick." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted November 5, 2016 Author Share Posted November 5, 2016 Try to get this visual out of your head. People are (justifiably) angry at the cost of WiFi on flights - the last time I flew, there were several options. For example, a "monthly, unlimited American Airlines pass" was $49.95, and there was another package which provided 30 minutes of WiFi for $4.95. I justified the 30-minute package(s) by figuring that on my round-trip, cross-country flight (with one plane change each way), I could easily stay under 5 hours online total, so 10 of these packages would only cost me $49.50. That, and it would "force" me to attack the novel I've been procrastinating with. So, between DC and Chicago, I paid $4.95 for 30 minutes. Then, from Chicago to San Francisco, I went to purchase a second 30-minute package, and the 30-minute price was now $14.95! That *really* ticked me off, and I refused to buy it - I got a lot of reading done, took a nap, and had a pleasant conversation with a PhD in Philosophy sitting next to me. (Sure seems weird to actually *talk* to someone, doesn't it?) It's easy to see why people are pretty hacked off about all these airline fees - it cost me $25 to check my bag, $4.95 for 30 minutes of WiFi, etc. However, in the distant future, I believe I've come up with an optional add-on that will make the airlines a fortune, and nobody will be angry about it. And unless you want to have an image stuck in your head that won't go away, I suggest turning away right here. Stop. Do not proceed. In the future, each seat should come with optional Orgasmatron sessions - the airline industry would instantly become the most profitable in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted February 6, 2017 Author Share Posted February 6, 2017 On 6/4/2015 at 11:26 AM, Al Dente said: I just realized that marital could be pronounced "MARE-it-tall" making it sound like a prescription medicine. Ask your doctor if Marital is right for you. On 6/4/2015 at 11:40 AM, weezy said: Does that come with the disclaimer list of contraindications? On 6/4/2015 at 0:09 PM, Al Dente said: Side effects include ingrown testicle, rectal hallucinations, and restless torso syndrome. See you in HEALTH!, Dr Stephen Colbert Al Dente's testicle, after long-term usage of Marital. The sun soon set, and didn't rise again until mourning came, and his pole was lashed, shortly aft her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Dente Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 29 minutes ago, DonRocks said: Al Dente's testicle, after long-term usage of Marital. The sun soon set, and didn't rise again until mourning came, and his pole was lashed, shortly aft her. Thanks for thinking of me!  1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted February 6, 2017 Author Share Posted February 6, 2017 37 minutes ago, Al Dente said: Thanks for thinking of me! Your moor, then (lore rents) whelk cum. An-a-one, an-a-two, an-a-thrEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey, who is Putin ???????????????????????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted November 26, 2017 Author Share Posted November 26, 2017 What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?  I wouldn’t pay $400 to have a lentil on my face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted January 16, 2019 Author Share Posted January 16, 2019 There's something fundamentally wrong with my being the only person in the history of the world to fully comprehend this title. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Dente Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 18 hours ago, DonRocks said: There's something fundamentally wrong with my being the only person in the history of the world to fully comprehend this title. Well, I thought I comprehended it. Enlighten us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted January 17, 2019 Author Share Posted January 17, 2019 On 1/17/2019 at 12:10 PM, Al Dente said: Well, I thought I comprehended it. Enlighten us. Think of the double entendre - some editor decided to make a wisecrack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted April 27, 2019 Author Share Posted April 27, 2019 Saint Francis was a sissy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcandohio Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 11 hours ago, DonRocks said: Saint Francis was a sissy. That was a popular saying on my Catholic grade school playground! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted April 27, 2019 Author Share Posted April 27, 2019 4 hours ago, dcandohio said: That was a popular saying on my Catholic grade school playground! Ha! I "made that up" a few years ago and thought I was so clever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted June 21, 2019 Author Share Posted June 21, 2019 Monsieur et Madame d'Alore ont un fils: Homer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted December 13, 2019 Author Share Posted December 13, 2019 Chaka Khan has a sister named Taka Boom. (This is not a joke; it's true.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted February 21, 2020 Author Share Posted February 21, 2020 On 6/21/2019 at 1:24 PM, DonRocks said: Monsieur et Madame d'Alore ont un fils: Homer. Monsieur et Madame Connery ont une fille: Aretha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted August 28, 2020 Author Share Posted August 28, 2020 Confession: I've spent most of my life behind bars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted November 20, 2020 Author Share Posted November 20, 2020 I'm watching the film, "Out of the Past," and they used the term "Gimcracks." Gimcrack: A cheap and showy ornament, a knickknack. Love it! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DIShGo Posted November 20, 2020 Share Posted November 20, 2020 10 minutes ago, DonRocks said: I'm watching the film, "Out of the Past," and they used the term "Gimcracks." Gimcrack: A cheap and showy ornament, a knickknack. Love it! Apparently a synonym is gewgaw. Who knew? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted December 26, 2020 Author Share Posted December 26, 2020 I got rip-roaring drunk at a holiday party this year, and started telling jokes. As I drank more and more, I ended up blowing the punch line. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted April 16, 2021 Author Share Posted April 16, 2021 "Pas de Deux" Tue , 7:30 PM: Kimchi Jjigae in Koreatown Wed, 7:10 AM: Venti Coffee at Starbucks Wed, 7:25 AM: U-Turn on Memorial Bridge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted June 20, 2021 Author Share Posted June 20, 2021 "Portrait of Antonio Navagero" (1565) by Giovanni Battista Moroni Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted August 11, 2021 Author Share Posted August 11, 2021 As a small demonstration of my power, I will raise my right index finger into the air at 2:20 PM EST this afternoon. Mountains will tremble, winds will howl, and automobiles will begin swerving on the highways. I will not end the world. Yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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