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The Trite Food List

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9 hours ago, dcs said:

Pumpkin beer food or drink; if not trite, then surely an abomination.

Fixed your post for you.

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3 hours ago, Mark Slater said:

I always preferred Gastronaut.

*Anything* is better than "foodie," but "Gastronaut" is cumbersome. What's wrong with gourmet? (As opposed to gourmand - the former is someone who appreciates fine food and drink; the latter is someone who merely likes to eat - I think the *vast* majority of people (not in this community) are described by the latter). The problem is that "gourmet" has become something related to a dead metaphor (even though it's not a metaphor) - probably started by "The Galloping Gourmet" (which was actually a pretty darned good show - Graham Kerr - still only 83 years old - should be remembered as a forerunner of Anthony Bourdain).

 

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Brunch (as a concept)

Meatballs as an appetizer

Deviled eggs

Hummus made out of something other than chickpeas/tahini

Thai curry ______ at non-Thai restaurants

 

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18 hours ago, Simul Parikh said:

Brunch (as a concept)

Meatballs as an appetizer

Deviled eggs

Hummus made out of something other than chickpeas/tahini

Thai curry ______ at non-Thai restaurants

I totally agree.

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10 hours ago, Mark Slater said:

I totally agree.

Can we make an exception for Polpettini at an Italian restaurant?

This is completely unrelated to cuisine, and I'll probably regret posting it here, but I am sick and tired of news publications, for sporting events, saying 'so-and-so 'outclassed' so-and-so.' No, (s)he didn't "outclass" so-and-so; (s)he *BEAT* so-and-so. For those who've never noticed, it is positively ubiquitous, generally headlined by non-sports writers, and needs to go. I am *sick* of athletes being in the Top 100 in the world at their chosen profession, and being stepped on with these headlines, and I have no doubt you can find a headline, somewhere, that says the Warriors "outclassed" the Cavaliers last night.

Maybe at one time, that word meant something to do with scholastic classes (in which case, okay, fine); now, however, it clearly deals with social strata. Yes, I know there are bigger problems in the world than this, but after all, this is "The Trite Food List," so, well, why not.

Example (on bottom-left):

Screenshot 2018-01-16 at 09.44.20.png

 

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11 hours ago, Mark Slater said:

I totally agree.

Here's more .. I'm in a salty mood. 

Pulled pork anything from places that don't have a smoker

"Nashville Fried" poultry products 

Truffle mac and cheese. In that same vein, lobster mac and cheese.

Jerk seasoning at non Caribbean restaurants

Nachos made out of something that's not a tortilla chip (tater tots, potato chips, waffle fries)

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16 minutes ago, Simul Parikh said:

Nachos made out of something that's not a tortilla chip (tater tots, potato chips, waffle fries)

By extension, Poutine that's not Poutine. Also, Poutine of any type served outside of Canada. :) (Canadian Poutine isn't trite; just gross.)

Truffle *Anything* that contains no truffle - I suspect you can find "Truffle Oil" (which almost always contains chemically flavored truffle) early in this thread. if anyone wants to come shave a Perigord Black over my Mac 'n' Cheese - better still, an Alban White over my pasta with Reggiano - they have my blessing.

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11 minutes ago, DonRocks said:

By extension, Poutine that's not Poutine. Also, Poutine of any type served outside of Canada. :) (Canadian Poutine isn't trite; just gross.)

Truffle *Anything* that contains no truffle - I suspect you can find "Truffle Oil" (which almost always contains chemically flavored truffle) early in this thread. if anyone wants to come shave a Perigord Black over my Mac 'n' Cheese - better still, an Alban White over my pasta with Reggiano - they have my blessing.

100% on Poutine! And why do all the renditions here do it with Duck? That's some sheeeeit. 

And, that's what I meant to say, it certainly doesn't hurt to repeat truffle oil.

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1 hour ago, Simul Parikh said:

100% on Poutine! And why do all the renditions here do it with Duck? That's some sheeeeit. 

And, that's what I meant to say, it certainly doesn't hurt to repeat truffle oil.

Things like this are *exactly* what I meant when I said "Glorified Junk Food." 

Here's another one: Restaurant Critics complaining that Poke is trite. I mean ... it *is*, but the complaints themselves have become Meta-trite, which, ironically, sounds like a Poke, mon. <--- Only an intrepid, nerdish few will realize how funny this is. Meditite.png

Ma-fucking-halo,
Rocks Hrimp

Q: What did the Freshwater Geechee do when he tried the Poke in Shirlington?
A: The Gullah Hurl

I don't know why I think of these things I just do.

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1 hour ago, silentbob said:

Real poke isn't trite.

Not trite; hokey.

(The Hokey-Pokey is a variant of The Gullah Hurl.)

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1 hour ago, DonRocks said:

By extension, Poutine that's not Poutine. Also, Poutine of any type served outside of Canada. :) (Canadian Poutine isn't trite; just gross.)

Truffle *Anything* that contains no truffle - I suspect you can find "Truffle Oil" (which almost always contains chemically flavored truffle) early in this thread. if anyone wants to come shave a Perigord Black over my Mac 'n' Cheese - better still, an Alban White over my pasta with Reggiano - they have my blessing.

Michel Richard used to tell me that truffle oil was for lazy chefs. :-)

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On 1/16/2018 at 11:53 AM, Mark Slater said:

Michel Richard used to tell me that truffle oil was for lazy chefs. :-)

He was wise beyond his years, that one. Miss him.

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On 1/15/2018 at 2:52 PM, Simul Parikh said:

Deviled eggs

Sacrilege! :) These are stalwarts that will last the test of time.  Now charging an arm and a leg for a couple of them on a plate, piling them up with fillings, yes, but the original concept dates back to the 13th century or before to even Ancient Rome and has a very long history far beyond the post WW2 house party.    I don't need them on every menu, converted to every fusion flavor, but I expect them at my family reunion, big get togethers and any baptism luncheon or etc, and happily will eat a few.

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I love Deviled eggs, too. No one wants to take them away from family reunions, big get togethers, and luncheons! Just seems like a lazy thing for a restaurant to do, and to charge $2+ per egg.  

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2 hours ago, Simul Parikh said:

I love Deviled eggs, too. No one wants to take them away from family reunions, big get togethers, and luncheons! Just seems like a lazy thing for a restaurant to do, and to charge $2+ per egg.  

Absolutely!!!

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I just read a bit of this thread and am now trying to pick what to have for lunch today.. horrible user interface aside, this menu, i think, was built from this thread:
https://farmersanddistillers.com/menus/

It's got it all.

poke; deviled eggs; fake Thai; meatballs; various things that are supposed to be one thing but are made from another...

I'm actually considering the fake Thai. How much can drunken noodles be messed up?

Truffles...

Edited to read that the drunken noodles are not bad as it is hard to go wrong with noodles and sesame oil.

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Trite kitchen apparel submission:  Form-over-function designer $90+ cross-back aprons that one must “get into” over the head with the help of a chamber maid or Jeevus the obsequious dishwasher.

Quote

Our first ever crossback apron, we design this bad boy to distribute the weight of the apron evenly meaning it’s comfortable even after long hours of hustling.

While an indignant no-frills apron belies kitchen hierarchy, the weight concession might allow for more efficient and effective “hustle”. Rocky would have been impeccably lethal if he had trained under the duress of a husky cross-back apron.

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