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What Not To Do With Pizza


mdt
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I've been on the east coast for seven years and I still don't understand this folding slice obsession.  This:

pizza.jpg

is what pizza looks like.  Note: It is not a soggy cracker wetted with tomato sauce and a dash of cheese.  Franchise opportunities available, if you want to spread the light.

I am afraid to ask, but what is a squeeze bottle of honey doing in this pic?

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to dunk the whole-wheat crust after you've gobbled the goods.

The idea of a whole wheat crust sounds absolutely disgusting. And to add honey to it sounds even worse, do they have sugar shackers on the table so that you can sprinkle the pizza if it is not sweet enough.

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In Texas, y'all get a squeeze bottle of Ranch Dressing for your pizza "bones" (aka the crusts in central Texas-speak).

Actually the first time I was faced with Ranch dressing and pizza I thought that it would be nasty, but then I tried it and I was a quick convert. But I think it only really works on low-brow pizza, like it works really well with the pizza at the Capitol Lounge

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Actually the first time I was faced with Ranch dressing and pizza I thought that it would be nasty, but then I tried it and I was a quick convert.  But I think it only really works on low-brow pizza, like it works really well with the pizza at the Capitol Lounge

I went to undergrad in Rochester, NY and a lot of people up there religiously dipped their pizza slices in blue cheese dressing. I thought it was gross when I first heard about it, but then tried it and it actually was pretty good.

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I went to undergrad in Rochester, NY and a lot of people up there religiously dipped their pizza slices in blue cheese dressing. I thought it was gross when I first heard about it, but then tried it and it actually was pretty good.

Almost everything is better with blue cheese dressing (and bacon), yes everything, well not watermelon.

Honey is a close second.

Third is Tabasco (but that eliminates a few more things than the 1st two)

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barbarians.

most of the lot of you--barbarians.

have you never slathered the heel of whole wheat, fresh from the oven, with butter and honey?

and then sliced another couple of lumps for mozzarella and tomato?

harumph.

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New in Slate Magazine:

Why Is Ranch Dressing So Popular?

And numerous Pizza Hut franchises in the South began offering cups of ranch alongside their pies, after a few franchisees discovered that teenagers were dipping their slices in the dressing. Although dunking one's pizza in ranch dressing is a culinary act best described as arterial suicide, the company took the concept nationwide earlier this year with the debut of the Dippin' Strips Pizza, which is precut into easily dippable ribbons and served with ranch "sauce."
Edited by Heather
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