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Posted

My Trip to Medieval Times

by Ferment Everything

The soup is abysmal, some sort of watery tomato veg.

The garlic bread is edible, strong butter and garlic flavor.

The chicken is....well...an entire half chicken. The skin, once crispy, has been sitting under a heat lamp for a really long time, but the meat is falling off any bones to which it might've once been attached.

The single rib that accompanies the chicken is very bad.

The potato that comes along for the ride is like a bastard stepchild of a potato, kept under the staircase and only brought out when its relatives come to visit. Beware the potato.

The "pastry of the castle" is some sort of apple tart.

The free beverage choices are Pepsi and iced tea.

Dinner and Show: $42/person (father's day discount!)

Beer: $6 per miller light, $7 for yeungling

Souvenir Glass: $8

Getting Drunk and yelling at knights: Priceless

Yet another experience that proves that sometimes it's not the food that matters. Go Yellow Knight!

Posted

Gawd, there's one of these around here? I was at the Medieval Times in Anaheim back in the late 80s (not my idea, dragged by someone I was sweet on), and it may well have been the stupidest evening I ever spent. The food was dreadful, and the show, which seemed to confuse jousting with Roman gladiatorial combat, was almost incomparably idiotic. Other than that, it was great.

Posted

I have a very fond memory of taking my horrified wife to the Medieval Times in Myrtle Beach for a "romantic dinner", after flying her down there on Hooters Air, no less. She was already pissed at me for playing two cruel vacation jokes on her when we both watched in horror as the man seated next to her starting digging his hands into his soup to eat the vegetables and scoop up the broth. He had really gotten into the "no silverware at Medieval Times" rule and was really making the both of us feel ill just watching him. I've never wanted a spoon more in my life. ;)

...and the Blue Knight won at our dinner. He rocked.

Posted
I have a very fond memory of taking my horrified wife to the Medieval Times in Myrtle Beach for a "romantic dinner", after flying her down there on Hooters Air, no less. She was already pissed at me for playing two cruel vacation jokes on her when we both watched in horror as the man seated next to her starting digging his hands into his soup to eat the vegetables and scoop up the broth. He had really gotten into the "no silverware at Medieval Times" rule and was really making the both of us feel ill just watching him. I've never wanted a spoon more in my life. ;)

...and the Blue Knight won at our dinner. He rocked.

With all the talk of romance, I thought for a sec you said you'd never wanted to spoon more in your life. :P

I remember being taken to Medieval Times in Orlando at the age of 9. It was relatively a long time ago for me, but I still remember it was bad. Really bad soup, whatever it was. But I think it was also a little bit more of a novelty at the time. Part of the amusement park experience, I guess.

Posted
Death to the blue knight! A pox on the yellow knight! It's all about the BLACK KNIGHT!

HolyGrail018.jpg

We'll call it a draw.

Indeed! The black knight always wins!

And the food at MT is awful.

And actually there is the Piratz Tavern in Silver Spring. http://www.piratztavern.com/

Posted

In a great episode of This American Life (a show I don't always find tolerable), Ira Glass brings a truly gifted, brilliant (and witty and kind) medievalist, Michael Camille, to Medieval Times. Act Three

* * *

One of the most excrutiating culinary experiences of my childhood was a dinner in a medievalized restaurant in London where I sat staring at a stuffed pheasant under glass set before me, horrified, refusing all but the pink lemonade.

Posted

I may want to check out Piratz one day!

Are there any theme restaurants in the DC or NO. VA area or SO MD? No, not MT that doesn't count - LOL - but something with a cute theme perhaps singers, players, performers something whilst you eat? Thanks!

Posted
but something with a cute theme perhaps singers, players, performers something whilst you eat? Thanks!

Mimi's American Bistro - waiters singing showtunes while you eat. This was easily one of the more awkward experiences of my life as I attended a birthday party there for my then-roommate that was thrown by his annoying on-again/off-again girlfriend.

Posted
I may want to check out Piratz one day!

Are there any theme restaurants in the DC or NO. VA area or SO MD? No, not MT that doesn't count - LOL - but something with a cute theme perhaps singers, players, performers something whilst you eat? Thanks!

Chuck E. Cheese ;)

Posted
Mimi's American Bistro - waiters singing showtunes while you eat. This was easily one of the more awkward experiences of my life as I attended a birthday party there for my then-roommate that was thrown by his annoying on-again/off-again girlfriend.

Years ago, I had heard of a charming little tex-mex place in Del Ray. I took a girl there on a first date - because I am classy ;)

This place was small and we were right on top of every other table in the place. There was also an out of place harp taking up space in the corner. I mentioned to my date what an odd decoration this was for a tex-mex place...why is that man stepping behind it? Is he going to play th....yup...he is playing the harp.

After the first oddly uncomfortable number, a second gentleman joined him. I wonder what his role is..."Did you ever know that you were my hero..." Yup...he is singing Wind Beneath My Wings. I swear the guy was singing directly to me which was made all the worse because my date had her back to him and she was cracking up.

Bonus sight gag for the night: at one point my date reached across the table and moved some beans out of the way to reveal writing on the plate: "International House of Pancakes"

Posted
Stacey said:
I may want to check out Piratz one day!

Are there any theme restaurants in the DC or NO. VA area or SO MD? No, not MT that doesn't count - LOL - but something with a cute theme perhaps singers, players, performers something whilst you eat? Thanks!

Wolf Trap.

Posted
Chuck E. Cheese ;)

Umm errrrahem... I meant something more mature for us adults and not the other extreme a strip joint! :P LOL

I went to Da Domenico and the gentleman (owner? manager?) who sat us sang italian tunes or opera tunes very nice.

www.da-domenico.com

The food wasn't bad there either, however I was looking for something to be eye-candy/entertainment in case the company gets overly boring or something. Not a belly dancer either please... more like waiters singing showtunes while you eat or soft violin music or jazz or like Mars 2112 in NY.

Posted
Does anyone have any experiences at the Birchmere in Alexandria?. I live nearby but have never gone.

It's not horrible. If there's an act you really want to see, and it's going to be crowded, and you want to get there early, to get good seats...

Burgers, chili, pulled chicken sandwiches, fries. That sort of thing. Not memorable or even excellent. But I've had worse.

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