Age Discrimination in Restaurants

[mdt]

From Tom's chat today...

I want to make sure that the food and experience (my husband and I are pushing 40 but look younger which sometimes negatively affects the service we receive) match the price.

I have seen this comment several times on the chat and this site. Are younger looking folks really getting treated worse? I wonder if it is a response to how they are acting as I have seen plenty of boorish behavior from diners.

[Ericandblueboy]

I have seen this comment several times on the chat and this site. Are younger looking folks really getting treated worse? I wonder if it is a response to how they are acting as I have seen plenty of boorish behavior from diners.

Other than getting carded occasionally, I can't recall a case where I got bad service because I drank from the fountain of youth.

[stickmoon]

Other than getting carded occasionally, I can't recall a case where I got bad service because I drank from the fountain of youth.

+1, and I don't mind at all when I get carded. At this point I've reached the age when it feels like an unambiguous compliment.

[B.A.R.]

What's up with these people that go out with no ID? I started carrying ID as soon as I got one, and in college, I often carried several.

Who are these dolts?

[synaesthesia]

From Tom's chat today...

I have seen this comment several times on the chat and this site. Are younger looking folks really getting treated worse? I wonder if it is a response to how they are acting as I have seen plenty of boorish behavior from diners.

I've never had much of an issue, and I've definitely met a lot of people who think I'm still in high school. It probably has more to do with the likelihood that they will tip generously.

And really, the boorish people I've seen in restaurants (aside from brahs) have been older. They're way less ashamed of themselves, and far more uncouth. Lots of loud, dirty jokes. When I went to The French Laundry, my friends and I were the well-behaved diners, and the old folks were being boorish and discussing really gross stuff loudly. But they have the $, so no one's going to give them poor service for the sake of losing out on a generous tip.

[B.A.R.]

And really, the boorish people I've seen in restaurants (aside from brahs) have been older. They're way less ashamed of themselves, and far more uncouth. Lots of loud, dirty jokes. When I went to The French Laundry, my friends and I were the well-behaved diners, and the old folks were being boorish and discussing really gross stuff loudly. But they have the $, so no one's going to give them poor service for the sake of losing out on a generous tip.

I had to kick someone out of a restaurant that had spent $700 on a 4-top, but got a little tipsy and would not stop talking loudly about their enjoyment of anal sex. When I asked them to keep it down, they started pointing to other patrons in the intimate dining room, talking loudly to each other which ones probably liked it, and which ones didn't. Kicked 'em out, ended up eating their check. They were furious, but I wasn't about to let their money excuse their boorishness.

[lackadaisi]

From Tom's chat today...

I have seen this comment several times on the chat and this site. Are younger looking folks really getting treated worse? I wonder if it is a response to how they are acting as I have seen plenty of boorish behavior from diners.

I went out to nice places a lot before I turned thirty, and never once did I feel like I was subjected to age discrimination.

[DonRocks]

I went out to nice places a lot before I turned thirty, and never once did I feel like I was subjected to age discrimination.

Likewise.

[sandynva]

Likewise.

really? even from sommeliers? i have to admit that at times i've felt.... not that i recieved poor service, but not as loved as tables of older businessmen. in fact, part of the reason i'm so fond of vidalia and tosca is that they were two places where i actually felt welcomed as a younger diner, didn't feel out of place at all, as opposed ot other places where even if the service was proper, it just made me feel slightly out of place or less than welcomed.

The waitstaff was mostly fine though, it was more a matter of not feeling welcomed vs actually getting bad service. However, with sommeliers it was a bit more problematic, especially when i was just out of law school (and was noticably younger than i am now) rarely, if ever, bothered coming over. Sometimes we actually had to ask them to come over twice!

That being said, i don't know that it's not justifiable decision on the part of staff, they work on tips and as a younger diner, or maybe just because i'm female, i rarely order three courses (it's just way too much food for me!) and when we get wine it tends to be less than $100 a bottle. the people who eat three courses, buy a lot more wine, etc are probably going to tip more, because even if i tip more generously (and i probably do!) they're just spending so much more.....

[B.A.R.]

I thought I actually got better service from sommeliers and maitre d's when I was younger, because they seemed genuinely interested that I was interested. And when I was 22, I still looked like a baby.

When you try to be engaging, people in the service industry generally respond three-fold.

[washingtony]

The waitstaff was mostly fine though, it was more a matter of not feeling welcomed vs actually getting bad service.

I have to echo that--I can't recall ever feeling like I was getting treated poorly when dining in my early-to-mid-twenties because of my age, but there is a restaurant that my wife (then girlfriend) and I visited a few times where the owner would greet every table around us but never even said as much as a hello to us. Which is really not a big deal but I was always just a bit nonplussed as to why he skipped over our table each time. And of course if you're 23 or so you wonder if it's because you're the youngest diner in the room.

[susanmab]

Back in the high-flying 80's, my dad & stepmother would occasionally send a bottle of wine or dessert over if they spotted a young couple who looked like they were having a special occasion and didn't necessarily dine out at higher-end restaurants too terribly often. How could they tell? The "he" usually looked really nervous.

I thought it was super-cute. Apparently seeing young people out on dates reminded them of when they were first dating.

(sorry, that wasn't really relevant)

Honestly, I perceive a little more of a slight when I'm dining with a few women than anything else. I remember from my table-waiting days that groups of women at lunch were always the least generous tippers, I'm assuming that's the vibe I'm picking up.

[ktmoomau]

I thought I actually got better service from sommeliers and maitre d's when I was younger, because they seemed genuinely interested that I was interested. And when I was 22, I still looked like a baby.

When you try to be engaging, people in the service industry generally respond three-fold.

This has been my experience, exactly. Although it may help that although I look young (not to be egotistical, just generally do), I normally always dress nicely (this is what happens when you have to wear a suit or nice clothes to work everyday) and so does my husband. But we love talking about wine and learning about wine and I think once people see your interest they are excited to talk with you.

[lekkerwijn]

really? even from sommeliers? i have to admit that at times i've felt.... not that i recieved poor service, but not as loved as tables of older businessmen. in

In our early twenties, my now-husband and I went to Galileo on a date. Because we were young they assumed we'd be penny pinching, unadventurous, inexperienced eaters/drinkers and the staff made that really clear to us. The service we got, in particular by their sommelier, was so memorably miserable and disdainful (even for that notorious Roberto Donna establishment) that we still joke about it. My impression is that now with the popular trend of being "foodie" at a young age restaurants are putting more effort and attention into being friendly to younger customers.

[mdt]

In our early twenties, my now-husband and I went to Galileo on a date. Because we were young they assumed we'd be penny pinching, unadventurous, inexperienced eaters/drinkers and the staff made that really clear to us. The service we got, in particular by their sommelier, was so memorably miserable and disdainful (even for that notorious Roberto Donna establishment) that we still joke about it. My impression is that now with the popular trend of being "foodie" at a young age restaurants are putting more effort and attention into being friendly to younger customers.

At Galileo being young had nothing to do with it.

[alan7147]

I went out to nice places a lot before I turned thirty, and never once did I feel like I was subjected to age discrimination.

Funny...I was just looking at the IALW thread and saw this....

The overarching problem of the evening was the feeling that the wait staff – especially our head waiter – treated us as if we had never been to a restaurant before. It doesn’t come through as much in the description, but it was a general feeling that both Jlock and I felt throughout the evening. Something in the tone, and the way that the waiter would quickly leave as soon as we expressed interest in what he was saying. Also, the pacing was off for the entire evening. We felt rushed during each course. There was no need for this: We had an 8:45 reservation, and we obviously had no where else to be.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about why that was: Was it our age (ok, we aren’t that young, but we were the youngest in the room by far)? Was it our crappy car (our sensible Honda Civic)? Was it the crappy way that I dress (Jlock and I are not usually looking “fresh from the runway in Paris”)? Was it that I was paying (partially) with a gift certificate? Was it because we told them that we were here for a special occasion (anniversary)? After much contemplation and consideration of the conversations overheard at nearby tables, I realized that it was likely none of these things. When you sit down at the Inn, you should be ready for a canned play of “good service” that you are not to question because they must know better than you – they work at the Inn after all. Best if you don’t ask any questions – because the answers might not be in the script. In my opinion, dinner at the Inn is just a dress-up show designed to introduce Olive Garden customers to fine dining.

[JPW]

At Galileo being young had nothing to do with it.

I'll second that.