Dining in Anonymity

[SrtaJRosa]

My conversations as of late have stirred up some worthy discussions in my mind. No, they have nothing to do with my recent nightmares regarding octopus, but they are grounded in what to do when I just wanna have a good time.

Case in point:

I walk into a bar, following some early-goers pre the 5:30pm opening time (drizzling quite a bit.) They were very nice to admit us pre-dinner time!!!

Wonderful atmosphere, and I loved the bartender, soooooo nice and soooooo appealing despite my qualms with my first drink order...what a gem!!! He handled it beautifully, not like I complained but...he was sooooo good about it! Made a beautiful bellini instead!

Oh, the food, how wonderful!! (and beautifully posted here and elsewhere)

An additional case in point:

No names mentioned (of course) however the service was bad. To say the least. I walk in after phoning about questioning dress code and prices to entree plates (my aunt and uncle were in fashionable tourist attire) sat at a table, and basically left neglected. After ordering wine and apps, I know we are ordering cheese. And I say so explicitly to the server. Nasty tasting apps arrives, with no server in site... Do we complain? No, that is not in our nature...Finally I order cheese, and when they arrive...guess what?? My uncle and I are left to guess what the different cheeses are. (more to this but edited to spare you the horror) Beautiful, because the food-runner has still to tell us which is which. Where is said server???

Finally after telling my ordeal to so-called manager person, in a good-humored way...what do we get?? A 15% industry discount!! Wonderful! So what does that mean? Horrible food at a discounted price, and everyone who knows me knows how bad it was....so we deserved bad food at a discounted price cuz I'm in the industry??? Puleeze!! Be for real. Needless to say, my business card with a special note indicating my appreciation for the discount and best wishes for him were there with a 15% tip. Hopefully he gets it.

I happen to feel like a black sheep as of late when I want to go out. Do you know what I mean? After all, what else am I there for??? I just wanna have a good time with nothing else to worry about, especially when it comes to family.

It's funny...do others feel as if they can't go out unless others know who they are?? Tee-hee and ha-ha. I wish it were the opposite in my case...

So, be nice...I wish everyone could just be themselves...No threats, no "vendettas," just people who live and love the restaurant business. It's not about who you are or what you represent...it's about how you love what you do and how you love the people who provide a great time for you and yours...

PS...you never know who is sitting at your table, or the one next to yours.

Yours truly,

Julia

[chef4cook]

Julia I know what you mean!!! For someone that really looks forward to going out and enjoying a good meal, I almost dread it anymore. I pick at the service, I pick at the food, The decor etc.. I find when I don't get proper service or the food really sucks I take it personally, because I know how much effort I put into these issues in my restaurant and it irritates me that others don't do the same. I never announce that I am in the business. I keep my mouth shut unless it is soooooooo horrible that I can't help myself. Usually when they ask how everything was I will tell them EXACTLY! I think when a restaurant knows who you are they will watch there P's and Q's. But I still feel like if I say who I am when I make a reservation I feel uncomfortable. It's like I shouldn't have to in order to get good service or good food. I believe you should always give 110% be it George Bush or Joe S*#@ the rag man. I have no use for those that just don't care enough about what they're producing or serving.

[zoramargolis]

Julia I know what you mean!!! For someone that really looks forward to going out and enjoying a good meal, I almost dread it anymore. I pick at the service, I pick at the food, The decor etc..

Occupational hazard. After you've worked in film, it's almost impossible to go to a movie and just get lost in the story. You're watching, thinking "Two shot. Over the shoulder. Why the close-up on her there? The camera is moving too much."

[drsmoke]

Some people open restaurants, strictly to make money, they have NO interest in the ego side of the equation, hence crappy everything, eventually people say ENOUGH, and the place closes.

I'm interested in the whole food ballet, it's my ego my name on the line, every day every customer.

48% of customers return because of the way the way they were treated, 12% because of the food.

Put great service together with great food, your ego will get a boost with each delighted customer as they applaud your efforts. It's when work becomes pleasure, and the ballet plays to SRO crowds everynight!

[kcl]

Some people open restaurants, strictly to make money, they have NO interest in the ego side of the equation, hence crappy everything, eventually people say ENOUGH, and the place closes.

I've worked in the business for 10 years, and this is true of quite a few places I've worked in.

There are some other factors I've seen that seem to be themes in restaurants as well. Restaurants tend to be full of folks who are professional BSers. In Texas, they'd say they're "All hat and no cattle." As a result, you end up with a staff full of servers who can be smooth talkers, but don't care about the intracacies of service.

If you hire managers that fall for that crap, (And a lot of managers do, precisely because they were once professional BSing servers who BSed their way into a leadership role) then there's very little accountability in the dining room.

On the other hand, I've noticed that if there's a server who actually cares about good service, little is done to reward that server behind the scenes. The server often just gets roped in with the rest of the derelicts, and is forced to contend with spacey hostesses who don't seat the dining room properly, giving an inordinate amount of tables to other servers.

Also, ideas for change -- how to make things better for guests -- are often shunned in many restaurants. Managers just don't listen to the employees enough or encourage new ideas. Serving is increasingly looked at as an expendable job that can be filled by anybody who comes in off the street.

If you're going to a restaurant where you're seeing new faces just about every time you go in, you can pretty much be guaranteed that the service there is on a slippery slope. The standards get taken down a notch as managers get more desperate to fill the roles once occupied by competent servers who couldn't take the behind-the-scenes crap anymore.

To sum up, I think the bad service I've seen around town (and good lord there's a lot of it) is the result of a lack of vision on the part of management. Just like in any business, you can take eager employees with modest skills and build them into a solid staff. Or you can allow BSers to take over a place and act like they're doing their jobs while the point of service at the tables suffers.

Management increasingly sees restaurants as formulaic: You take the drink order, then the food order, offer coffee, drop the check. And there are some things that are formulaic. But service always changes, tastes always change, and anyone who repeats the same act at every table at the start, then disappears the rest of the night, just doesn't get it.

[Poivrot Farci]

...do others feel as if they can't go out unless others know who they are??

Your late night gripe is self defeating, Cinderella. It seems that you wish to be treated as a princess while dining under a peasant’s guise. Fairy tale standards of well executed service may be too high for many of the area’s middle ground establishments in which employees are not career servers. Generally, if you seek preferred treatment (center cut of the bread, rather than the end) it is best if the house knows that you are a faithful guest or brethren since restaurant people take care of their own as in any other industry or fraternity. Vending machines will generally offer the same product and service for all of us, without prejudice, however, in any human business transaction or barter, personal rapport -be it with kin, the king or lover true- will result in varying bonuses through our personable nature and that the product restaurants offer is not a factory standard.

[Miami Danny]

My conversations as of late have stirred up some worthy discussions in my mind.

I'm with ya, Julia. But I don't want people to know who I am (not that I'm anybody), I just want them to think it's important to take care of me, some random customer. The problem, I believe, is perfection-one wants it, but it doesn't exist, except in one's mind. I agree with the statement that once you've seen the man behind the curtain, it's hard to forget that he's there, and a little of the magic dies right there. That is why I drink my cocktails BEFORE I go out to dinner, and try to confine my dinners to unusual but inexpensive restaurants, or solid neighborhood joints, so that if the meal, or service, whose importance I think is vastly OVER-rated, isn't up to par, at least I've had an experience of some kind. Of course, this doesn't solve the problem, it merely delays it. Because I still occassionally think that perfection is right around the corner. If only that food-runner would quit giving me dirty looks and ogling my wife.

[DHagedorn]

My conversations as of late have stirred up some worthy discussions in my mind. No, they have nothing to do with my recent nightmares regarding octopus, but they are grounded in what to do when I just wanna have a good time.

Case in point:

I walk into a bar, following some early-goers pre the 5:30pm opening time (drizzling quite a bit.) They were very nice to admit us pre-dinner time!!!

Wonderful atmosphere, and I loved the bartender, soooooo nice and soooooo appealing despite my qualms with my first drink order...what a gem!!! He handled it beautifully, not like I complained but...he was sooooo good about it! Made a beautiful bellini instead!

Oh, the food, how wonderful!! (and beautifully posted here and elsewhere)

An additional case in point:

No names mentioned (of course) however the service was bad. To say the least. I walk in after phoning about questioning dress code and prices to entree plates (my aunt and uncle were in fashionable tourist attire) sat at a table, and basically left neglected. After ordering wine and apps, I know we are ordering cheese. And I say so explicitly to the server. Nasty tasting apps arrives, with no server in site... Do we complain? No, that is not in our nature...Finally I order cheese, and when they arrive...guess what?? My uncle and I are left to guess what the different cheeses are. (more to this but edited to spare you the horror) Beautiful, because the food-runner has still to tell us which is which. Where is said server???

Finally after telling my ordeal to so-called manager person, in a good-humored way...what do we get?? A 15% industry discount!! Wonderful! So what does that mean? Horrible food at a discounted price, and everyone who knows me knows how bad it was....so we deserved bad food at a discounted price cuz I'm in the industry??? Puleeze!! Be for real. Needless to say, my business card with a special note indicating my appreciation for the discount and best wishes for him were there with a 15% tip. Hopefully he gets it.

I happen to feel like a black sheep as of late when I want to go out. Do you know what I mean? After all, what else am I there for??? I just wanna have a good time with nothing else to worry about, especially when it comes to family.

It's funny...do others feel as if they can't go out unless others know who they are?? Tee-hee and ha-ha. I wish it were the opposite in my case...

So, be nice...I wish everyone could just be themselves...No threats, no "vendettas," just people who live and love the restaurant business. It's not about who you are or what you represent...it's about how you love what you do and how you love the people who provide a great time for you and yours...

PS...you never know who is sitting at your table, or the one next to yours.

Yours truly,

Julia

I think I must be missing something here, Julia. It is not in your nature to bring a problem to the management's attention when it occurs; yet, it is in your nature to bring it up after the fact and expect satisfaction.

The guest drives the bus. As someone who is in the business, you know when things are going south. At this moment, you could excuse yourself from the table, find the manager and say, "Excuse me, but our table seems to be falling through the cracks. I'm in the business, so I understand how these things can happen, but this is a special evening and we need to get back on track." Words to that effect. If your goal is to have a good time and you see things are going badly, why not take control of the situation instead of letting the situation happen to you and then complain afterwards? If the apps were "nasty," why not call the manager over and say so? Neither you nor anybody else deserves bad food, but it is up to you to tell someone it is bad when you taste it. If you must wait until later, instead of asking, "What do we get?", why not say, "This is what I want."? "We did not care for the apps. Please remove them from the bill."

You want the management to be "real," but then you write a note of appreciation for something you clearly did not appreciate. You "hope" that the manager/server will get it. Would he not get it for sure if you wrote a note indicating that you found the service lacking and the resolution of the problem unsatisfactory? It was your choice to be ironic instead of candid.

My grandmother always said, "People cannot use you as a doormat without your consent." Every guest in a restaurant is "somebody" and deserves to be treated well. And every guest has the power to take control of the situation to make sure that happens.

[Poivrot Farci]

What's up with the self-deprecating martyrdom? Is this a restauranteur’s allegory of an Andy Rooney epilogue?

If your reputation entitles you to a fresher, thicker piece of fish, you should take advantage of the opportunity to be spoiled on a noteworthy meal for the same price that others pay... unless you frequent restaurants out of convenience, which eliminates you from the “like everyone else” percentile.

For a true commoner’s dining experience I wear my leper’s cloak and journey to Medieval Times in humble Hanover, MD and order the plebian chicken.

Good luck in your pursuits of mediocrity.

[mdt]

The guest drives the bus.

Amen!

[DHagedorn]

I have an internet address! I have a pen, like Bob Dole! Me want middle bread, me want middle bread. If you see me, give me middle bread. Gimme. Me, me, me. MEEEE.

Now Meaghan, you know in this world some people get middle bread and some people wind up with heels. Life just ain't fair. Just something to Jimmy Choo on...

[Poivrot Farci]

I have an internet address! I have a pen, like Bob Dole! Me want middle bread, me want middle bread. If you see me, give me middle bread. Gimme. Me, me, me. MEEEE.

You are confusing deserve and demand. Did you appreciate the evening when the kitchen sent your table out an unexpected complimentary middlebread-mid-course based soley on your patronage and bubbly personality?

[Mark Slater]

You are confusing deserve and demand. Did you appreciate the evening when the kitchen sent your table out an unexpected complimentary middlebread-mid-course based soley on your patronage and bubbly personality?

I would give Meaghan middlebread any day o' the week.

[Nadya]

Megz, come to my house anytime.

On the original post, I am not sure I understand the point. Sounds like you went out and didn't enjoy food or service. That happens to every one of us, and we dissect it online in excruciating, graphic detail if it was bad enough, and enjoy every single moment of that dissecting. I am not sure what is to be gained from keeping the name of the restaurant out of this discussion.

If there was something you needed done, I'm sure if you spoke to the manager they would have done it for you. Just like at NB, I'm certain you would like your guests to bring their grievances to you, right?

As an "insider", do I feel like going out isn't perfect any more after I've done time in the industry? No. I feel more compassion for the service glitches. I would never take it out on the server because it's unfair to take my frustration out on the only element of the restaurant equation with whom I have eye contact - ten other people could have fucked up, but I didn't see them, did I? The hostess may have brain damage, the sous may be snorting coke, the decor offends my sensibilities - and the server has nothing to do with any of it.

Do I feel I have to let people know who I am to get princess treatment? Who I am? Er...apart from using the word "marry" to describe flavors in food, that would a podium contender in the pretentiousness Olympics. Restaurants that fuck up habitually aren't gonna care who "I am" anyway.

Anyway, I'm sure you had a bad experience and you are frustrated; that's understandable. I feel for you, particularly if you had company you wanted to have a good time. I just feel like being or not being in the industry has zero to do with it.

[DonRocks]

Eye maybe thee own leap purse son hoo simp lee ken knot fig yer rout twat tin thee whole leaf huck pee pull lard disk cuss sing hear.

[Meaghan]

Eye maybe thee own leap purse son hoo simp lee ken knot fig yer rout twat tin thee whole leaf huck pee pull lard disk cuss sing hear.

Mid dull bread. Can nop pees. Dis cunts.

[Mark Slater]

Eye maybe thee own leap purse son hoo simp lee ken knot fig yer rout twat tin thee whole leaf huck pee pull lard disk cuss sing hear.

Mee needer.

[ScotteeM]

I'm thoroughly confussled.

[Escoffier]

I'm thoroughly confussled.

I think I got it...

1. original poster went out to eat

2. not recognized by staff at restaurant she decided to enter

3. miffed because of not being recognized

4. ate everything on table with exception of salt and pepper shakers

5. left cryptic note on business card (just in case nobody recognized minor celebrity from restaurant biz)

6. tipped 15% (at least didn't stiff the wait staff who didn't recognize minor celebrity)

7. started forum to complain about poor service and not being recognized as minor celebrity

8. forum created minor sh*t storm because minor celebrity wants things both ways

I think that's how it goes...YMMV

[Anonymouze]

I C U R YY 4 me!

I'll have to wear my thinking cap here. LOL! But I wholeheartedly agree with the last poster.