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What Kind of Cheese Are You?


Joe Riley
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I thought that this was a complete hoot: http://www.astradyne.co.uk/cheese/

Apparently, I am Bel-Paese:

Your name is: Joe Riley

Your cheese rating is: Bel Paese

A creamy semi-soft cheese from the Lombardy region of Italy, Bel Paese is matured for 6-8 weeks, and has a light, milky aroma. It is simmilar to the French cheese St. Paulin. The name Bel Paese means "beautiful land", and was inspired by the title of a book by Stoppani.

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Dolcelatte

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Dolcelatte is a very soft blue cheese from Italy, and melts in the mouth like ice cream. The name Dolcelatte means "sweet milk" in Italian, and this cheese has a corresponding sweet taste.

Exactly.

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FETA!:

Feta is soft, white cheese made in Greece. Traditionally it was made with ewe or goat milk, but today is mostly made from pasteurised cows milk. It is solid, but very crumbly, due to the numerous fissures it contains. It has an acidic, salty taste, and is often used in salads

perfect! I love salads.. and I'm pretty acidic, too :o

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That was mine too! :lol:
Damn. I thought we looked pretty lively last night at Viridian. :o

Scott's is Gorgonzola:

Gorgonzola is a semi-soft blue cheese made in the village of the same name in Northern Italy. The cheese is yellow/white with green/blue penicillin mould marbling giving a sharp, spicy flavour.
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Can't say I ever heard of this one.

Your cheese rating is: Kadchgall

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Kadchgall is a hard cheese from Afghanistan. It is made with sheeps milk, or occasionally camels milk, clotted with yoghurt.

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So... who/what is Astradyne?

... a front company for a large Eastern European crime family.

We specialise in arms dealing, money laundering and other "off-white" activities. If really pushed, we might design you a secure, redundant network infrastructure, write you some bespoke software or design you a web site.

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It appears that no matter what kind of chese I am, I need to ripen for a number of months.

Using my first and last name, my cheese rating is:

"Your cheese rating is: Meira

Meira is a traditional Iraqi cheese, made from sheeps milk. The curds are cut into strips and matured in a sheepskin bag for between 6 and 12 months."

Using my first, middle and last name, my cheese rating is:

"Your cheese rating is: Red Leicester

A hard, grainy cheese, coloured red with annatto. Red Leiceter ripens quickly, and is typically sold after maturing for 10 - 12 weeks, but can be left to ripen for up to 9 months."

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With my (ironically, ethnically Chinese) name, I am the cheese of the (lactose-intolerant) people:

Cheddar is the most famous, and most widely eaten cheese in the world. Cheddar is a hard natual cheese, with a white to pale yellow colour, although some variants have artifical colours added to give a yellow or orange hue. It is matured for between 9 to 24 months, during which is evolves from a mild, smooth cheese to a strong, tangy, slightly crumbly cheese.

Including my middle name, however, I become...French?

Camembert - A soft creamy cheese named after the French village in Normandy in which it was created, by a woman named Marie Harel. It has a crumbly, edible rind, and gets softer as it ripens, giving off that familiar smell for which French cheese became infamous.

Heh.

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